*Chapter contains sensitive topics*
Ana
When Christian is fast asleep beside me, I carefully slip out of bed, so I don't wake him up and head towards the living room. I open the laptop and the light from the screen in the pitch-black living room causing me to squint my eyes for a few seconds. After my eyes adjust to the light of the computer, I click the search engine and type infertility issues into Google.
When the websites are loading, I gather up my hair into a messy bun and tie it with one of my hair ties. I clear my throat and click on one of the links that appear in the search which happens to be WebMD.
I bite my lip when I discover all the common reasons for infertility issues in women in my age group. I sigh when I read about all the symptoms of infertility and when it is appropriate to see a specialist for when trying to conceive.
"What are you doing?" Christian's voice behind me makes me jump.
"Sorry, I didn't mean to scare you, baby," he walks towards me and kisses my head.
"It's okay. I couldn't sleep," I sigh and make room for him on the office chair.
I get up, so he can sit down, but he places me on his lap instead. "Baby stop torturing yourself by researching this," he gestures towards the website that I was looking at.
"I know. I just can't help it," I sigh and lean my head against his chest.
"I understand, but you don't need to be on here. There is nothing wrong with you," he says firmly as he closes the computer.
"What if there is something wrong with me?" I murmur as I rub his arm.
"Try not to think about. There could be something wrong with me for all we know, I don't know, but right now, let's not worry about it. Just remember that I'm not going anywhere. We will work out whatever is wrong together. Okay?" he whispers against my ear.
"Okay. I love you, Christian," I smile and kiss his jaw.
"I love you too. Now let's go back to bed. We both have work tomorrow," he kisses my lips before picking me up and carries me towards our bedroom.
The last school bell rings signaling that the class period has ended. My students gather their papers and backpacks before rushing towards the door talking with their friends excitedly looking forward to their weekend off.
"Mrs. Grey? Can I get that rubric for our assignment next week?" One of my students, Jessica, asks before heading out the door.
"Yes, you may," I smile at her and hand her the rubric for the assignment.
"You have a good weekend, Jessica," I stand up and gather my belongings.
"You too Mrs. Grey, thanks," she smiles and walks out the door, paper in hand.
I turn towards the whiteboard behind me and erase the lesson from today before tidying up my desk. I grab my purse, the stack of papers for next week, and head out of my classroom.
The hallway is full of students as they grab their things from their lockers and walk towards the school's front doors. I spot one of the other teacher's classroom door open and decide to go say hello before going home.
I smile at Mrs. Trevelyan as she rearranges her classroom. I knock on the door causing her to stop what she is doing and look up towards me. She smiles and ushers me inside, her dark brown eyes sparkle as I shut the door.
"Ana. How are you, sweetheart?" she smiles warmly at me.
Grace Trevelyan is a sweet lady in her early 50's. She is the school's home economics teacher and has been working here for over fifteen years.
She and her husband, Carrick lives next door to us for the last three years. Carrick works as a Sous chef at a local restaurant in town. They have one child, a girl named Mia who is a Freshman in high school. The Trevelyan's are such friendly people, and Christian and I often spend time with them during the weekends.
Grace like herself had trouble conceiving a baby for a long time, and after ten years of trying and multiple miscarriages, they finally got pregnant with Mia.
Right now, I want to see if she can give me some advice. If anyone knows what it's like to want a baby, but not being able to have one, it's Grace.
"Not so good, actually. Can we talk for a second?" I sigh and twist my fingers in front of me.
"Sure. What's on your mind?" she puts down the utensils she was putting away and sits next to me.
"We are seeing a fertility specialist on Monday. I guess I'm just nervous," I sigh.
"What are you nervous about?" she murmurs as she rubs my back.
Grace and Carrick know our struggles with trying to conceive since last year. It was a relief to tell someone since we kept it to ourselves. Our families know we are trying, but they do not know what's going on beyond that.
"What if something is wrong?" I shrug and stare down at my fingers.
"What if there isn't?"
I shake my head and look at her sadly, "Why else can't we get pregnant? There must be something wrong."
"Honey, you don't know that for sure. I've been where you are. I know what it's like to not get pregnant right away and to think it's never going to happen, but you can't give up hope. I know it's hard not to think about the what if's, but you can't focus your energy on that right now. You need to think positive," she explains and takes my hand in hers.
I nod and give her a small smile. "Your right. Thank you, Grace."
"I'm always here if you want to talk. You can come over to the house whenever you want. Day or night. Okay?" she smiles.
"Okay. I better get going. I need to get home and start on dinner," I exhale as I get up from the desk.
"You have a good evening now. Good luck at the doctors on Monday. Just let us know if you need anything," she pats my hand before going to her desk.
"I will," I smile at her before I head towards the door.
"Mr. and Mrs. Grey come in, please," Doctor Greene ushers us into her office.
Christian and I sit down in the wingback chairs that face her desk. Christian grabs my hand while the doctor sits down at her desk and opens my medical file she has in front of her.
Doctor Greene is an older woman with reddish brown hair, and light brown eyes. Her red hair is in a tight bun on top of her head and her black rimmed glasses are perched on the tip of her nose. She removes her glasses before smiling.
"Thank you for coming in. I received your medical files from your regular gynecologist at your request of course. It says here that you have been trying to get pregnant for the last year with no success?" she replaces her glasses before gazing at us expectantly.
"That's correct," I murmur and Christian nods.
"I would like to do a few tests to see what is going on. First, I like to ask you some questions. Is that alright?" she asks politely.
"That's fine."
She nods, and says, "Is your menstrual cycle regular each month?"
"No, it's irregular. Sometimes I even miss a period," I murmur.
The doctor nods and continues to ask me questions about my cycle and what we have tried so far as conceiving goes. After she is done writing in our chart she looks up at us, "I would like to draw some blood and perform a pelvic exam as well as a physical exam. Is that okay?"
"Yes," we both agree.
"Great. Mr. Grey, I would also like for you to give us a semen sample as well while you're here. You can do that while I preform your wife's exam, or you can do it after. Whichever you prefer," she explains.
"It's okay. You go, ill be fine," I say to Christian and squeeze his hand.
He looks unsure for a moment, but I smile reassuringly at him to let him know that I will be okay on my own. He nods reluctantly and pecks me on the lips before he takes the offered cup from Doctor Greene. He then leaves, and I follow the doctor to another room for my exam, and after that, I get my blood taken.
It has been a few days since our first appointment at the fertility specialist. It is now Wednesday afternoon, and the doctor called to say our results were in and to have us come into the office to discuss the results.
Christian and I are now driving towards the doctor's office. He has been quiet since he picked me up from school which doesn't help my nerves.
"Are you okay?"
He sighs and takes his hand off the wheel to grab my hand. "Just work stuff. Nothing to worry about."
"What about work?" I frown.
He shakes his head and looks out of his window for a second before looking back to the road. He's quiet for a few minutes before he says, "There is a new garage that was just built down the street from ours. Apparently, they are our competitors. Business is just slow right now is all," he says tightly with a hint of anger in his voice.
I sigh and squeeze his hand. "I'm sure things will pick up soon. You guys shouldn't worry about that," I try to reassure him which doesn't help because he clenches his jaw and doesn't say anything.
The garage has been slower these last few months, and to hear that they are still having problems, is a little worrying, but I'm sure things will start to pick up for them soon. I would hate to see it go under on top of what we are going through. I know that shop means everything to his family and they would be devastated if it had to close.
Christian and Elliot grew up in that garage since his father, Thomas, opened it when they were toddlers. Ella helps in receptionist on Saturday's when the regular receptionist, Mary, takes some time off while she babysits her grandchildren. She also works as a full-time dental assistant during the week. I really do admire my mother-in-law for working so hard all week and giving up most of her weekend to help her husband's business.
I come out of my thoughts when Christian pulls up at the office. We both head inside and give our name to the receptionist.
"Ana Grey for Doctor Greene," I say to the blonde receptionist.
"Okay. It says here that you have a co-pay. Would you be able to pay for that today?" she asks politely.
"Sure," I say as I hand her my debit card.
She hands me back my card and tells us we can have a seat and they will be with us in a few minutes. I pick up a magazine and start to read as Christian looks down at his phone. I am about to start reading an article about breast cancer risks when someone taps me on the shoulder.
"Excuse me, is this seat taken?"
I look up to see a young brunette dressed in a long pink maxi dress smiling down at me.
"No, go ahead," I smile.
She thanks me and sits down. She is obviously pregnant since she has her hand rubbing her small bump. I stare at her in envy for a few seconds before I continue reading the article, or at least try. Christian takes my hand and squeezes causing me to squeeze his hand back. I crack a smile seeing how well he knows me.
"Leila Williams," the girl sticks out her hand.
I smile and shake her hand, "Ana Grey. This is my husband, Christian."
"Nice to meet you both. Are you guys expecting?" she puts her purse down on the floor before smiling at me.
"No. We are actually here for fertility," I shake my head.
"Oh. I'm sorry," she says awkwardly looking down at the ground.
"It's fine," I smile tightly at her.
"I just moved here from Seattle," she tucks a strand of hair behind her ear.
She's very pretty and petite. She has shoulder length brown hair, blue eyes, and a kind smile.
"We went to Seattle on our honeymoon. We liked it. What do you do?" I turn more towards her and try to make conversation.
"I'm a math teacher. I just got a job at Twin Falls middle school a few days ago," she explains.
"Really? I work there. I'm a language arts teacher," I smile causing her to beam at me.
"That's cool. Well, I guess I'll see you next week then?" she smiles.
"Looks like it. It was nice to meet you," I say as the receptionist calls our name.
"You too," she waves at us.
"She seems nice," Christian whispers at me while we follow the nurse towards Doctor Green's office.
"She does," I agree and take his hand into mine.
"Good afternoon, Mr. and Mrs. Grey, Please, Have a seat," Doctor Greene ushers us into her office.
We sit down, and she opens a file that is placed on her desk. She staples her fingers together in front of her before beginning. "We got your results back. First, Christian let's start with the semen sample you provided us. Your sperm count came back in the normal ranges, and there weren't any problems with motility that we could see," she explains, and we breathe a sigh of relief.
"Ana, your pelvic exam came back as normal, so that is good," she says, and I nod in relief.
"Your blood, however, revealed higher levels of androgens, which explains why you're having increased acne on your upper back as you described a few days ago. Higher levels of androgens mean that your ovaries don't release an egg during ovulation. Which could be a diagnosis of PCOS, which stands for Polycystic ovary syndrome," she says softly.
My eyes widen in panic and Christian does the same. "Now, don't panic. This condition does cause fertility problems, but it is treatable. What I want for you do first, is to start on a medication called Clomid, which helps with ovulation. You begin the medication on the first day of your menstrual cycle. If this doesn't work, there is another option you can consider, which is IVF, In-vitro Fertilization."
"I can send you home with some brochures on the options you both have since you want to become pregnant. I also want to discuss what you can do to treat the symptoms long term," she explains and hands us the brochures and my prescription for the Clomid.
We talk about our options for treatment for another twenty minutes before shaking the doctor's hand and leaving the office with our brochures in hand.
While in the car on our way home, Christian speaks, "What did you think?"
"I'm glad we finally found out what was wrong. I'm hoping this new medication helps," I sigh.
"It will baby. I'm sure we will get pregnant in no time," Christian kisses my hand.
I crack a smile and sit there and think how relieved I feel knowing that we might have a strong chance in getting pregnant here soon since we know for sure what is going on.
At least I hope.
AN: Here is the latest chapter. Thank you for all your responses on the updating schedule. I will now post twice a week (Sunday & Wednesday). If by some reason that schedule changes, I will let everyone know.
To start, I don't have any experience with PCOS or IVF and there are bound to be mistakes, so forgive me for the errors on information if you see any in the upcoming chapters.
Christian's POV starts next chapter and we will see a little bit of Carla and the introduction of her character.
Thank you so much for the feedback so far on this story. I have enjoyed writing it so far, and I hope you all continue to read and review.
Pinterest is under my username: PassionForGrey