*Chapter contains sensitive topics*

Four months later

Ana

My lip quivers when I stare down at the negative test that is sitting on our bathroom sink. Today I was due for my period, and when it didn't come this morning, I got excited and decided to take a pregnancy test. I wanted to surprise Christian when he got home from work if it were positive, but now looking at the negative one-line pregnancy test, it's not going to happen.

We have been taking the medication for four months now, and so far, it hasn't worked. Christian and I decided not to worry about having sex every day during my fertile period, but to just enjoy each other and the process of trying to make a baby. I didn't want to continue to stress out about it, so I thought this would help, but so far, it hasn't been a success.

I don't know why we are not getting pregnant. I know the Clomid is not a miracle pill, but I would have thought it would help me ovulate, but I guess that is not the case.

I wipe my eyes with my shirt sleeve and throw the test away in the bottom of the trashcan. I don't want Christian to automatically see it since he's been excited to see if we were pregnant this month. I hate disappointing him because I know he wants a baby as bad as I do.

What the hell is wrong with me? Why can't I give him the one thing he wants more than anything? Did we wait too long to have a baby? Was this even meant to be?

All these thoughts run through my head as I stare up at the ceiling of our bedroom. I don't know what we are going to do if we don't become pregnant with the help of this medication.

Christian and I sat down a few months ago and went through our budget. If the Clomid doesn't work, our other option would be IVF, but it's expensive, and our savings only allows us to do one round. Our insurance doesn't cover the treatment, so we must pay out of pocket for it if we do decide on going that direction.

I know my mother and father would be happy to help, but we decided not to tell them what is going on because we don't want to ask for the money or have them pay for it. We want to do this ourselves, and we don't want to burden them with what is going on.

I take a deep breath and will the tears to back that threaten to fall once again. I sigh and stand in the middle of our bedroom and look around aimlessly.

Our bedroom is simple. White walls, hardwood floors, a king-sized bed, and a large plant placed in the corner of the room on Christian's sized of the bed. I walk towards the front of the bed and pick up one of Christian's shirts from the laundry basket and fold it and set it back into the basket.

I groan miserably. Even the dull task of folding laundry isn't taking my mind off our pregnancy struggles.

I place the clothes back in the basket and curl up on my side of the bed and try to not think about it anymore. I don't want to start crying again and have Christian see me so upset. He has enough on his plate right now, and I don't want to add to it.

Christian

"Christian, I don't know what we are going to do. At this rate, by this time next year, there won't be a business," Elliot sighs and rubs his forehead I frustration.

I bang my fist against the table and curse out loudly before pushing to my feet and pacing our small office.

"Christian, calm down man," Elliot snaps.

"I can't calm down. This is fucking bullshit," I shout and punch the wall.

Elliot sighs behind me when I lean on the wall with my hands. I hang my head in defeat and try to calm down.

I hate that this is happening to our family. When I first met Ana, the business was successful as ever. My father started this garage when we were little, and I grew up in this automotive shop. Dad wanted this business to be successful so that he can pass this garage down to his children and grandchildren and that's part of the reason why I can't wait until I have a child of my own.

When Ana and I first got married, I wanted to tell her that I was already ready to have children, but she wanted to wait a few years before we started trying. Months and then years went by, and before we knew it, we both woke up one day and decided that we were ready to start a family. Not in a million years would we think that it would be this hard in making a baby.

I want more than anything to have a child with my wife. I just hope that this new medication has worked and was pregnant this month. I sure can use some good news right now.

My head jerks up when I remember that Ana's period is due today and she is planning on taking a test. Did she take one yet? I turn around and run my hand down my face.

"I got to head home. Ana's waiting."

I take a cigarette out of the pack and place it between my lips. I offer one to Elliot, and he takes one and lights it. "I thought you quit," he says after he exhales.

I shrug, "I did."

Elliot leans back and puts his feet on the table, "What does the wife say about that?"

"She hates it," I murmur as I pick up my wallet, keys, and phone.

He chuckles, "Say hi to my favorite girl, would ya?" he asks before finishing his cigarette. I finish mine and nod at him before walking out the door.

"Ana," I call out to my wife when I walk into the front door.

The house is silent as I take off my boots and dirty t-shirt. I throw the shirt in the dirty clothes basket by the laundry room before heading towards our bedroom.

I find Ana curled up on our bed asleep. I smile and walk towards her and kiss her shoulder and just stand there and watch her sleep for a few minutes. I kiss her shoulder again before stepping into the bathroom to take a shower.

After my shower, I dry off and head towards the mirror to start shaving. I look around the sink, and I don't see my shave cream. I crouch down and open the cabinet to try to find it, but something in the trashcan catches my eye.

I frown and see an empty pregnancy box in the trash. My eyes widen, and my lips form into a smile when I remember she was supposed to take a test today. I look towards the bed to see her still asleep. I turn back around and decide not to wake her to find out the results.

Feeling like a dumbass, I look through the trash and spot the test at the bottom. I hesitate for a second before shaking my head and picking up the test with my thumb and forefinger. I take a deep breath before turning the test around, and my eyes slowly fall closed at the negative result.

I sigh and bang my head on the cabinet in disappointment. I instantly regret it when I hear Ana groan on the bed. I hurriedly place it back in the trash and get up off the floor.

I turn around as she sits up on the bed. Her tired eyes find mine, and she smiles, but immediately her expression falls when she see's my obvious disappointment on my face.

"You saw the test, didn't you?" she whispers.

"I'm sorry, baby," I sigh and take the towel off my waist.

She nods and leans against the pillows. I decide not to shave and go to my wife's side instead. I turn off the bathroom light and get into bed.

She curls up on my side and kisses my chest. "I hate this," her voice cracks causing me to close my eyes.

"I know baby. Me too," I hold her tightly and kiss her hair repeatedly.

I crack a smile when I smell the heavenly smell of chamomile from her shampoo causing me to nuzzle her neck. I lean back, and she stares at me with her big blue eyes. Her eyes were the first thing that I noticed about her when we first met.

I was on my break that day I saw her in town. After getting a bite to eat at the local diner, I walked down the block before leaning against a random building to have a smoke.

I saw her driving slowly down the street, and I remember frowning when I saw her yell out in frustration when her car stopped in front of me.

When she stepped out of the car that first time, I was enchanted by her natural beauty. I've had my fair share of pretty girls after high school. None of them held my interest, and I didn't want anything serious with any of them. They were good looking, but none of them held a candle in the looks department than her.

Ana was different. Immediately, I could imagine a future with her that I never could with any other girl in the past.

After waking up that first night after we made love, I knew she was the girl I was going to end up with. She was the one, and I vowed that day that I would love her wholeheartedly forever.

"Make love to me, Christian. Make me forget about that test," she whispers as she kisses down my chest breaking me out of my trip down memory lane.

I flip her over on her back and make love to her for the next few hours.

Two months later

Ana

"So, the Clomid hasn't been successful so far. Would you like to discuss other options? Or continue with the medication?"

We are in Doctor Greene's office a few months later. The medication didn't work out as we hoped, so we made an appointment with the specialist to see what further options we had.

"Christian and I wanted to talk about the IVF, and see if we can start that process?" I ask nervously.

"Of course, we can talk about that right now," she smiles and starts to go through the process.

An hour later, we have talked through the process of symptoms, side effects, and payment plan. First, I need to start on another fertility medication, a blood test, and an ultrasound to check my hormone levels. Next, we would need to do the egg retrieval; Christian provides the doctor another semen sample and then we do the insemination before the fertilized egg is transferred into my uterus. If all goes to plan, we would see the egg implant within ten days of the procedure.

The process sounds nerve-wracking, but hopefully, within a month and a half, we will have our baby, hopefully.

After making our first appointment with the specialist, we leave the office hand in hand, both hopeful that the procedure is successful.

"Honey?" I hear my mother enter our house fifteen minutes after I get home from work.

"In here!" I call out from my bedroom wondering why she is here.

When I put my necklace in my jewelry box, my mother comes walking into the room. She is wearing a black pencil skirt, a long white silk polka dot blouse, and black heels. Her brunette hair is in loose waves, and her makeup is neutral.

My mother is a family lawyer and owns her own law firm. It looks like she had just gotten out of her office.

"Hi, honey," she smiles and walks over to kiss me on the cheek.

"Hi. What are you doing here?" I frown and sit down on my bed to take off my flats.

"I just wanted to see how you are. I haven't heard from you in a few days. You know how much I worry about you, honey," she sits down next to me and runs her hand down my back.

Mom has always been very protective of her only daughter. Growing up she has always been my best friend, and I love her dearly. She was one of those parents who would drop everything, work included, to spend time with me and come to my school events.

She has always had a big career, but she was never one of those parents who only saw her child for an hour a day or had a nanny who was more of a mother than she was. She is the kind of mother that I want to become for my own child.

I am grateful to have such a wonderful mother.

"I know mom. Things have been hectic these last few weeks," I sigh.

We have been going to numerous appointments with our IVF procedure, and we are waiting for the last step of the process. In about a month, we should find out if we are pregnant or not.

"How has IVF going?" She asks gently as he runs her hand through my hair.

"Stressful. I hope it works because Christian and I can only afford one round of treatment," I sigh and look down at the floor.

She hesitates for a few seconds before sighing. "Honey, you know your father, and I would be more than happy to help. I know you said no before, but we want you to reconsider," she bites her lip.

"Mom, we don't want your money. Please, we want to be able to do this ourselves. Christian and I wouldn't feel right taking your money," I sigh and rub my forehead.

"Ana, I know that, but we want to help," she practically begs to cause me to groan.

"Mom, no. I appreciate the offer, thank you, though," I take her hand in mine and squeeze.

She sighs and tucks a strand of hair behind her ear. "Well, the offer still stands when you need it. Your father and I are here. Please, remember that" she hugs me, and I hug her back tightly.

I love my mother. She has always wanted the best for me, and I appreciate that they want to help us out.

My father owns his own construction business, and he has always installed in me the importance of family and arduous work. I know that this whole baby thing is the hardest obstacle we have gone through, but I'm grateful to have our parents support and to see that they will be there when we need them the most.

My mom leans back, and we talk for a few moments before she leaves after I promise her that Christian and I will come over for dinner sometime this week.

AN: Here is the next chapter. I did some previous research on IVF and PCOS when I first started writing, but there still could be mistakes. I understand that this is a sensitive topic for some, so I will not go into too much detail, and I will also note at the beginning of the chapter.

Thank you all for the continued support, and please don't forget to review. It really encourages me to keep writing.

I hope you all have a good Memorial Day.

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