A few of these one-shots will be about gods/goddesses who don't get the attention they deserve, or the untold yet funny myths about the well-known ones. (Btw, I published Chapter 13, aka this chapter, on friday the thirteenth just to be funny.) Enjoy!
*The Beauty Contest*
Eris, the goddess of chaos, strife, and discord, was the daughter of Nyx and Erebus. She played an important part in starting the Trojan War. You see, it was kind of like Maleficent and Sleeping Beauty (I do not own Disney).
All of the Olympians were invited to the wedding of Peleus and Thetis (Achilles' mom and dad). All Olympians, that is, except for Eris just because she liked chaos. Which isn't exactly her fault. She was the goddess of chaos.
To get back at them, she tossed the Golden Apple of Discord with the words 'To The Fairest One of All' inscribed on it. Upon seeing the apple, the goddesses Hera, Athena, and Aphrodite began to fight about who deserved the apple.
Zeus, who got kind of tired over the fuss, pointed at Paris and said "Hey you! You're unbiased and stuff! Pick the fairest of them all!"
Needless to say, no matter who he chose, Paris was going to be in trouble with whichever goddess he didn't pick. So he took his sweet time doing it. Now, the goddesses really wanted to win. So they each offered Paris a gift to bribe him. I think it's safe to say that the Greek Gods don't follow the rules and have loose morals.
Hera offered to make him the king of all of Europe and Asia. How she planned to do that, I don't really know.
Athena pledged to make him wise and skilled in battle. If I had been Paris, I would've done that so no one could mess with me AND I'd get a one-hundred on all my tests.
Aphrodite, well, she knew men well enough to know how much they loved beautiful women. Sure, they liked power and skill too, but back in those day, guys would choose the woman over anything else. So she promised him a wife. Not just any wife either.
She promised him Helen of Sparta (an already married woman) who was said to be drop-dead gorgeous. A real knockout.
Being the idiot that he was, Paris looked out at everyone who was holding their breath. And he pronounced Aphrodite the winner.
This pleased the goddess of love, but Athena and Hera were not happy and swore revenge. Revenge that kind of involved the Trojan War and the death of millions (including Paris).
If there is a lesson to be learned from all this, it's this: don't EVER choose one god/goddess over another. Say something else. For example…
"You're all way too beautiful for me to decide."
"Can't we cut the apple into three parts?"
"I don't wanna die so all of you."
"I'm blind."
Anything like that is better than actually deciding. ANYTHING.
AN: Hope y'all enjoyed!
Kitkat Out!