Five: Gokudera

After the battle, we didn't speak of it. We sent a soft look and a simple nodding of heads to the other when the fight was over. I could tell he wasn't happy tenth had forgiven Enma, and neither was I, but we both held back, and it felt good to know someone else felt that way-and that neither of us had to say it.

The odd ritual between us did not repeat during the fight with the vincinchi, we did not meet in the way we have been for so long now. We didn't go running to one another; I cant think of why, the need is still there inside me, the deep, painful want that screamed at me with every fiber of my being. But we didn't have the luxury of time, and we didn't need to make any more promises, anyway. It was still there, engraved into my head and my heart; the words we spoke still fresh in our minds. 'come home to me' our promise had already been made. I just wish I had the courage to reach for him again. I felt my heart turn cold when he nearly died, when I saw his death-even knowing it was fake, even knowing he would survive, even with our promise- it was crippling. I couldn't stand the sheer volume of agony that seemed to pour out of my heart when I saw it happen. The relief when it ended, when I knew he was alive and would keep going-that he could come home, was almost painful in its intensity, and in that moment I made the conscious realization: I am madly in love with Hibari Kyouya.

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That night had been difficult, difficult because we both needed intensive treatment, and I just wanted to go running for him. Run as hard and fast as possible- but I was stuck in a bed next to the tenth and Yamamoto and I wasn't going to risk ripping stiches to go- he wouldn't want that.

PRESENT DAY: Gokudera

I opened my eyes from the dream, memories of the past that I couldn't forget even after five years of no touching- hardly any talking, and no words of promise ever being spoken between us again. I stretched in my chair, my back still sore from falling asleep in the office while I allowed my thoughts to wander. I suppose it's a good thing, in a way, that he hasn't come near me. Because it meant that no horrible battles awaited us. Instead, when we do see one another its only during meetings that the entire familliga have to attend as the tenth vongola's guardians or when he turns in paperwork from his missions. In those moments I cant keep myself from meeting his eyes and I cant stop the want that I feel for him- its such a deep pull of desperation and sexual desire and intense love that I have to force myself to pay attention or my mind will go elsewhere instantly. Even after all these years Im still too cowardly to face that fact that I'm madly in love with the strongest man alive, that we touched just once, that only I have been given the trust to see his tears. I just want to have him touch me again.. But he hasn't tried to talk to me.. maybe he realized how close we had started to become and doesn't want anything to do with me? Maybe he realized I had already begun to fall for him when we kissed that one time.. Maybe he realized the sympathy and concern and comfort were not something he would like to give me.. That two men touching in such a way was wrong... Its only natural, I'm not exactly a catch. My shitty attitude with him and everyone else isn't a real selling point and then there is the chain smoking… of course he wouldn't want me- plus im so fucking pale and im not nearly as- ''Can I come in, Hayato?''

I looked up from my thoughts instantly to see Hibari standing in the doorway of my office, his expression unreadable. I nodded mutely, eyes locking on him despite my desperate attempt to do otherwise. '' whats wrong?'' I asked- there must be something wrong for him to come to me after all this time, after all. He lifted his face and smirked at me as he walked over to my side and putting one hand on my desk. ''that's how it always is, right? We only talk to argue with each-other or when we are facing death, right?'' his voice sounded sad, his eyes meeting mine- the emotion in them so very similar to the painful love I have been feeling for him that I felt my heart begin to thud in my chest. ''I hate it.'' I whispered, unable to keep the words in.

I heard him let out a deep breath and smile down at me ''I hate it too. I always thought you didn't want anything to do with me outside of those times, of course.'' I felt my eyes widen and my breath catch as I realized he and I had both been too cowardly to say anything all this time. I stood up before I could think about it and brushed past him as quickly as I could, pushing the office door closed and turning to face him. Our eyes met again and the sadness in his eyes burned me- Had he thought I was going to leave? Before I walked closer to him and watched as the look turned into a one so loving that I gasped. '' I love you Gokudera Hayato. Chose to be with me?'' He whispered as he leaned closer and pressed his forehead against mine. How long has it been since he did this? I smiled '' I love you too- so much.'' I whispered back to him, feeling myself begin to tremble at what this meant, at what we could become.. I didn't have much time to think of this, though because, suddenly, he surged forward and his lips were on mine, and it felt just like it did all those years ago. Like love and safety and strength and home and I kissed back just like the first time, my hands clutching at his back as we kissed slowly, passionately, his tongue moving so slowly around my own that I moaned. He moved his hands from my hair and slowly ran them down my spine once more, causing me to moan again as he took his time in finding my hips and then yanking me forward, our bodies flush against each other while I pushed my tongue against his so hard that he gasped as his hold on my hips tightened. We both moaned as our already growing erections pressed together just right, and he held my hips steady to slowly thrust against me. 'Ah!' I broke the kiss to call out-unable to control myself before he kissed me again, softly, before we broke apart for air as his hands dug into my hips. ''Will you choose me?'' He whispered, looking into my eyes with a look of such love and want that I smiled and shivered at the same time. '' Yes.'' I said quietly as he leaned forward, pressing our foreheads together again '' Let's go home.'' He whispered, and I smiled before nodding in agreement.

We walked into his house and were instantly pulling on each other and kissing for all we were both worth. He kicked the door closed as his hands found my hips and he pushed me against the wall while I tangled my hands in his hair and moaned. ''More. Kyouya, more.'' I gasped out between kissed and I actually felt the sensation of his moan before he said ''Im taking you to bed. Right now.'' And I couldn't even respond, I just needed him to take me-needed him to touch me even more. I nodded, kissing him again as his hands found my ass and he lifted me into his arms while I wrapped my legs around him as he carried me to his bed. Soon he was laying me down and climbing onto me while he broke away from my lips long enough to pull off our shirts and toss them to the floor. I reached out and pressed my hand to his pants, pulling off his belt as his hands ran down my chest. I then pulled them down as quickly as I could, watching as he kicked them and his boxers off at once and leaning up while he stripped me of my own. He looked at me with a look of intense want, of admiration as he whispered ''Hayato- your beautiful.'' In a horse voice that caused me to blush even more. ''that's what you say to a woman.'' I said simply, and he smiled ''no, its what you say to your lover when they're too sexy to handle.'' and then he was on me again-not giving me a chance to say anything further as his lips and tongue traced every inch of my mouth before he began to trail them down my body, slowly licking and sucking on my neck; my ears, my chest and my abbs. While he roamed my body, I tangled my hands in his hair and my knee found his member, and we both moaned as his hand grasped my member harshly. ''K-Kyouya. Please- Please- Ah!'' I called out, my voice breaking as I moaned, his hands now working me over while I moved my knee up and down along his erection and his moans touched my skin along with his lips. I felt my entire body shake with want as I listened to those moans.

Soon my knee was replaced with my hands as I grasped him and myself and pressed them together. He seemed to understand what I wanted because soon we were trusting against each other in such an intense, slow way that we were both unable to control ourselves as we moaned and pulled on the other's hips to continue. We set a pace so slow and painfully intense that I could feel every inch of his body against mine as the desperate need to cum building inside me cause me to be nearly ready to scream in pleasure.

Suddenly, though, he removed a hand and pushed his fingers into my mouth. I sucked hard, coating them in spit while he pulled my hands away from our bodies and softly leaned down while pulling my hips up slightly. Then he wrapped his mouth around my member and began sucking hard as he pulled his fingers from my mouth and, in the same movement, pressed one inside me. The second he trust it in he sucked harder on my member and it felt so good and so intense that I lost my voice, unable to even speak to warn him that I was seconds from cumming. I came so hard and so fast, my hands going to his hair while I felt him swallow everything and take me even deeper into his mouth while he added another finger. ''Ah! Fuck- fuck me, Kyouya.'' I rasped as he sucked harder and began to scissor his fingers. He leaned his head up long enough to say ''not until im sure you'll feel no pain. I refuse to ever let making love hurt you.'' And then took me into his mouth again while the tears of pleasure and love formed in my eyes and I hand to grip his hair to keep myself in reality.

This continued until four fingers were working me over inside, hitting my prostate over and over again while I thurst my hips up and let out intense cries. He pulled away from my member just before I came for the sixth time. Wiping his mouth with a soft smile on his face and lining up with my entrance. He met my eyes and he didn't even need to speak, I simply nodded at him and then he finally pressed into me, grabbing my member as I began to cum. ''no.'' he said sternly before thrusting in completely. ''W-why? Let go. Please-'' ''I want to come together.'' He whispered before he began to thrust in and out at an agonizingly slow pace as we locked lips and swallowed each-others' moans. I was seeing stars, the intense pleasure of him hitting my prostate with every thrust, the heat of him inside me almost searing, the smell of his skin and the touch of his lips while he held me back from release too much to take. This went on for gods-knows how long until I literally screamed in painful pleasure. ''Ah-Ahh-pl-please-let me come, please-ahhhhh!'' I begged desperately, feeling him pulsing inside me as he let go of my member and thrust so hard into my prostate that I couldn't even call out, a noise I have never heard escaped from my lips in intense pleasure and my nails dug into his skin while we came together, hard, fast, and intense. He didn't pull out- my legs holding him inside me while I felt him fill up every part of me as he moaned my name into my ear over and over and pumped me to prolong my pleasure.

When he had finished, when nothing was left inside of us and we couldn't see straight anymore, he flopped against me while he was still buried inside me while we met eyes and kissed slowly, touches so light and loving and full of promises. Promises that he spoke in soft whispers against my lips and ones I murmured into his neck when he buried my face against my shoulder.

''I love you.'' And ''I will never let you go again'' whispered to me as we met eyes- words of love and safety that settled into every part of me. ''I love you too. Your mine.'' I whispered while feeling his smile and seeing the light in his eyes.

We were finally here- finally together.