[[ Note from Brit: Okay! So! I've had up to Chapter Twelve done, and I posted it on my Tumblr for this (and any other Undertale) fanfiction... But I was a huge doof and forgot about updating it here. :( And I'm sincerely sorry for that. So after this mass update (which was, I believe, Chapters Eight through Twelve) it'll be slower updates from here on. I'm trying to aim for two chapters a week, but I'm a stay at home mom of a one and two year old, so my free time is limited most of the time. And sometimes, the muse just isn't with ya, what can I say... QuQ ANYWAY! I've gotten a lot written in Chapter Thirteen already, so I'll post it as soon as I finish it, then it's right to work with Chapter Fourteen! I really really appreciate any readers I have, so please, feel free to leave me a comment, and I'll answer it ASAP! And, if you'd like, you can follow me on Tumblr (life-sans-sin) and drop me an ask, peruse the awesome fanart this fic has so far, submit your own stuff, . I've also got an AO3 (archive of our own) account with the same name as my Tumblr, if you prefer reading things there...
Anyway! Again, thank you all so much for reading! Love you all!]]
If there was one thing Sans couldn't stand, it was a vain robot. Something about the guy always seemed to put him on edge. Maybe it was the fact that, back in a few timelines, he'd intended to steal Frisk's soul and defeat Asgore. Traitorous behavior like that was certainly a good enough reason, right? ...That wasn't really why, though.
Sometime through the night he'd switched to scotch, setting the ketchup aside and slamming back glass after glass of the hard liquor. Why? To put his nerves to rest. Every single thing the robot seemed to say only made him want to gasterblast his face to hell. 'There's confidence and then there's cockiness...' Everyone flocked to him, though...even Papyrus. Maybe that was what aggrivated him the most. The fact that his brother, such an honest, pure-souled monster, looked up to and even admired that hunk of scrap. He heaved a sigh and shuffled toward the door, pulling a small bag of dog treats out of his pocket.
Maybe a smoke would calm him down.
"-and so then I told her- Do you know what I said? I told her that wearing anything that gaudy should be considered a crime!" Mettaton laughed at his own story, taking another delicate sip of wine as Alphys chimed in with a small, nervous 'laugh'. Everyone was having a pretty good time (though some obviously more than others). There were a few people who weren't drinking, but even so, there was enough that Toriel and Frisk had decided to call it a night a little early. Monster Kid, who had somehow snuck in during the party, was also escorted home in his own way. Undyne just had to give him a glare and tell him to get going, and off he went.
Lena sat on the couch, sipping her glass of soda idly, eyes roaming across everyone else at the party. It wasn't that she wasn't enjoying herself; far from it! She was just more of an observer, and she didn't like being in the spotlight all that often, like she had been earlier. It had taken her a while to recover from that, hiding out in the kitchen until Toriel brought her a slice of pie and a smile. Something about that motherly monster just seemed to make everything feel better...
After a while, she noticed the absence of a certain short skeleton, and she frowned, getting to her feet. "Hey, Papyrus? Have you seen Sans anywhere?" Papyrus looked around the room and quickly shook his head, then eagerly turned back to the conversation he was presently having with Undyne. "Oh, okay..." She sighed, figuring that she'd get just as much information out of anyone else, should she ask, so she pulled on her coat and headed for the front door. Despite it being a party celebrating her arrival, there was surprisingly little attention draw to her as she slipped out of the noisy apartment, closing the door behind her as quietly as she could. Even that, though, was enough to startle Sans, who was leaning against the railing just outside her door, fumbling with something in his hands. He lost his grip and he muttered a quiet curse as it tumbled down, smashing to the pavement one story down.
"S-sorry! Sorry, I didn't mean to startle you..." she mumbled, and he sucked a breath in between his teeth, shrugging his shoulders.
"'s no big deal." He fiddled around in his pocket, pulling out another dog treat and holding it between his teeth. The look he caught her giving him was nothing short of dumbfounded, and he chuckled, raising a browbone. "What, you never seen a dog treat before?"
"Well, yeah, but...usually only when dogs are eating them. Don't they taste gross?"
"Nah, y' don't eat these. You smoke 'em... What's with that look? I'm serious!" he said, laughing even more at the expression on her face. "It's a drug from the Underground... Kinda just relaxes ya."
"Oh, so it's like pot, then?" He shrugged, and she sighed. "It's an herb that has a similar effect when it's burned... I didn't like it much. All it did was make me sleepy." His eyesockets widened at this, and his skull pivoted to look back at her, nearly dropping the dog treat between his teeth.
"You've done drugs?" She shrugged slightly, looking slightly embarrassed. "No way, you're pullin' my femur."
"I was in college and there was this talk going around that it helped with anxiety... People started smoking it a lot around exam times, and I was in a study group, and they passed it to me, so I just kinda...y'know." She turned and leaned her back against the railing, and he couldn't help but notice the slightly faraway look her eyes got. "It's just another thing people judge you for, smoking pot. Humans will find just about anything to hate you for..." She suddenly seemed surprised by her own words and she frowned, looking regretful. "Oh, I'm sorry, I shouldn't say things like that. After all, I'm one of them, haha..."
"Nah," he grunted, fiddling around in his coat pocket for his lighter. Once he finally found it, he gave a small hum of approval, flicking it open and holding it over the end of the dog treat until it blackened and began to smolder. A burnt, almost cinnamony smell filled the air as Sans inhaled deeply around it (and she began to wonder how he could smoke without lips or lungs). He pulled the treat away from his mouth and held it between his bony index and middle fingers, slowly exhaling a small stream of smoke. A snort drew his attention from the pleasant warmth settling in his chest and he glanced over to see the human watching him, a hand over her mouth to apparently stifle her giggles. His eyelights rolled in his sockets as a lazy grin pulled up on his face. "What?"
"...Ruff day at work?" she asked, pointing at the dog treat. He snorted loudly, closing his eyes for a moment as he took another drag, looking up at the night sky. The stars stood out brightly against the inky blackness, almost as if the cold made the light appear that much sharper. It was beautiful, with the moon hidden from view; a 'new moon', humans called it. He blew out another thin whisp of smoke that turned into a sigh.
"Just pawful," he said, glancing over at her. "Why you gotta collie out on it?" She rolled her eyes and shook her head, only spurring him on more. "Aw, c'mon, these jokes are poodles of fun!" A groan and he felt his grin widen, and he huffed a chuckle. She didn't respond for a while, and he shrugged deeper into his coat, taking another deep drag.
"...What do you get when you cross a bull dog and a shih tzu?" He made a small questioning noise, dragging his eyelights back over to her lazily, where he just barely caught sight of her impish grin before she spoke again. "...Bullshit."
The words, coming from here, were a surprise (he'd never heard her curse before, that he could remember), and he coughed on the smoke he'd inhaled, sputtering and hacking for a moment before he started laughing. It wasn't really that funny, but he couldn't stop himself. After a few seconds, he could hear her joining him, until the both of them were left in a fit of helpless giggles. It took them a good ten minutes to completely calm down; once or twice they'd quieted, only to look at each other and fall into laughter again. When their breathing did finally even out and they fell silent again, Lena turned around to lean over the railing, breathing out a long sigh. Sans watched as her breath formed a small cloud, just outside her lips, eyelights flickering as he watched it slowly disappear.
"That was bad," he mumbled, puffing on his dog treat before stooping to snub it out, the ashes drifting and falling from the railing to the ground below. She hummed softly, leaning over the cold metal rail to stare at the cement beneath them.
"Yeah, but you laughed. Point, Lena." Sans felt his cheekbones ache from the width of his grin, and a chuckle rumbled up from his chest, watching her expression turn to one of victory.
"Yeah yeah, your point... this time." She gave a smug little laugh and folded her arms on top of the railing, bending over enough to rest her chin on them. Frowning a bit, Sans glanced over at her, tapping the dog treat slightly to knock off the remaining ashes hanging off the once lit end. "Sooo... It doesn't bother ya?"
"Hm? What?" He gestured at the drug currently held between his fingers and she shrugged. "It doesn't bother me. So long as you don't do it in my apartment or around Frisk, I don't care." He wasn't sure why he felt as relieved as he did. "Ah... If you don't mind me asking..." she trailed off, biting at her bottom lip gently. "What made you want to come out here?" An obnoxiously loud, robotic laugh came from inside and he groaned, nodding toward the apartment door. She chuckled uneasily and nodded, "I see... He is a bit...much, isn't he?"
"He's alright. Just...has a personality that doesn't mesh with mine," he grumbled, shrugging his shoulders and standing upright. "Better go pick that up before someone finds it." Motioning down to the ground below them, he shoved his hands into his pockets and headed for the stairs, pausing on the second step and glancing back at Lena, who was watching him quietly. He quirked a browbone, "Not ready to go in yet?"
"Mmm, I'd better get back in, before anyone breaks anything..." A shiver ran through her and she rubbed at her arms through her coat sleeves. With a small wave, she turned back and returned to her apartment, mumbling a soft 'see ya' before closing the door behind her. Sans stared at the door for a moment after it closed, thinking. His mind felt lighter with the effects of the drug kicking in, and the almost constant tenseness in the back of his skull was gone. His bones felt heavier and he wanted to go and fall into bed. 'Maybe I'll actually get some sleep...'
Descending the stairs slowly, one at a time, he finally reached the ground floor of the apartment complex. His eyelights scanned the ground until he found the crumbled remains of the dropped dog treat. He stooped to pick them up, the crumbs slipping between his bony fingers, and he huffed an airy laugh. Picking up the pieces he could, he brushed the rest into the grass with his slipper "Good enough..." He turned and glanced back up at the second floor windows, which were lit and filled with moving silhouettes of monsters inside, and grinned lazily. He could go back to the party, but...the thought of going to bed and getting some sleep was suddenly far more appealing.
"Paps is there... Nothin' too bad can happen."
"HUMAN! I HAVE CONSUMED ALCOHOL!" Papyrus cried, leaning heavily against Mettaton, who had an impish grin plastered across his face. Forcing a smile to cover up the horrified expression on her face, Lena stepped forward and quickly took off her coat, tossing it over the back of her couch.
"Oh...? That's...great, Papyrus..." Undyne was snickering loudly in the corner, and Lena shot her a displeased look just as the towering skeleton lunged at her, throwing his arms around her shoulders in a spine-crushing embrace.
"I WANTED YOU TO *hic* TO KNOW HOW MUCH I LOVE YOU, HUMAN! PLATONICALLY, OF COURSE! I *hic* AM SO GLAD TO HAVE MET YOU! YOU ARE MY FAVORITE HUMAN, ASI- *hic* ASIDE FROM FRISK. AND BRIT. AND THE HUMAN WHO WORKS AT THE BANK WHO GAVE ME A SUCKER. SHE WAS REALLY NICE. THERE WAS ALSO ONE TIME WHERE-" The drunken skeleton prattled on and on, and Lena simply pat him on the back, struggling to keep herself standing. For being made strictly of bones and magic, he was fairly heavy, not to mention much, much taller.
"Ahaha, I-I'm glad, Papyrus. Um, m-maybe you should go home..." She sent everyone else in the room a pleading look and Alphys, the only other truly sober person left in the room, stepped forward, wringing her hands- claws?
"A-actually, um, w-we need to get going... Undyne, c-can you help Papyrus back to his um, h-his room?" the yellow lizard-monster asked, looking up at her girlfriend with a small, nervous smile. Undyne stared for a moment, then shrugged, crossing the room and easily lifting the skeleton up with one arm.
"Yeah, prolly a good idea. C'mon, Papyrus! Time to go to bed!"
"OH GOODIE! DO YOU THINK MY BROTHER WILL READ ME A STORY?"
"Tell ya what, if he don't, then I will, m'kay?" They left the apartment, their loud voices echoing through the corridor until, eventually, they turned the corner and they faded out. Lena grabbed Alphys' claws and smiled gratefully.
"Thank you, I don't know how I would have gotten him back on my own..." she mumbled. 'Especially if it meant having to admit to Sans that his brother got drunk...'
"Oh, it's, uh...n-no trouble. Don't worry about it." She awkwardly pulled her hands from the humans' grasp and fiddled with her glasses, cheeks turning a light shade of red. "M-mettaton! Let's, uh, go..." The android sighed and flipped his hair.
"Very well, if we must..." He leaned in and pressed a kiss to Lena's cheek, which immediately turned pink. "Ta ta for now, darling~!" With a flourish, he flounced out of the apartment, with a nervous Alphys in tow, leaving Lena standing in her now empty living room alone.
"...Oh boy..." Heaving a sigh, she started picking up empty beer cans, tossing them into the garbage. With another half hour of picking up glasses, cleaning up trash, and vacuuming spilled, crushed chips, the room was finally back to the way it was before the party. She felt exhausted, physically and emotionally, even though not much had really happened, and when she finally fell into bed, it was only a few moments before she was in a blissful sleep.
| Sans: * why the hell is papyrus drunk |