Sans decided that he would never get over how different they were. Even something as simple as their hands were so different, but he found himself fascinated by those differences, loving them. Her hand was soft and warm, and he could feel the bones that made up her hand lying just beneath the flesh. It made him want to hold her hand up, to inspect it, to feel each of the different bones and how they connected...but he didn't. The last thing he needed was her thinking he was a weirdo for wanting to stare at her hands.
When they finally started walking he was disappointed to find that she was silent, having hoped that she would talk about something, anything to fill the awkward air between them. But was it really awkward? Maybe she just hadn't wanted to get lost, holding his hand. ...But he knew that wasn't really true, didn't he? The way her soul's aura brightened when he took her hand told him that, loud and clear. 'This silence is gonna kill me.' So, without really thinking, he started talking. He talked about random buildings they passed, what they were for, when they were built. He even started to crack a few bad jokes, just to try and get her to relax. It worked, and he had to remind himself not to stare at her soul so obviously when it fluttered while she laughed. It was beautiful...
The walk back took a lot less time than he'd hoped, and soon enough, they were in front of her apartment. His mind mulled over the thought of giving her a 'goodbye kiss', like guys always did at the end of dates in movies. He pulled his hand away quickly, shoving them into his pockets so she didn't notice how they trembled slightly at the mere thought.
"Thanks for taking me out. I guess I know where I'll be taking Brit on our next night out!" He felt a bit let down that she was only thinking of taking her best friend there again, but what had he expected? It's not like they'd gone on a date or anything. He forced a grin onto his face and flexed his fingers in his pockets.
"Yeah, 's only the hottest hang-out in Taobh," he said, a genuine smile bursting across his features as she groaned in dissatisfaction of his pun. It encouraged him to make another. "His burgers are the best. Mickey-D's ain't no match for Grilbz."
"You're right about that, he-" she began, then paused, her face fighting the smile that tried to overtake it. "...Oh my god, Sans!" He chuckled and pulled a hand from his pocket, pointing a bony index finger up at her smiling face.
"You're smiling. Point, Sans," he said triumphantly.
"You know that your name technically means 'without', so you said 'point without'. That means no point!" she teased, and his expression fell into one of surprise, eyesockets widening. He hadn't been expecting that. 'Cheater.'
"You humans have a meaning for everything, don't ya?" Curiosity began to nip at the back of his skull and, before he could silence himself, asked, "What's your name mean, then?" She took a moment as if pondering the answer, and he berated himself mentally, wondering why he'd ask such a stupid question.
"Well, my family is from Ireland...a country overseas, in Europe." This surprised him, as well, and he tried to think back to the world atlas he'd glanced over the last time he'd been in the library. He told himself to be sure to look again next time he was there. "In Irish, 'Leannán' means 'love'." 'No surprise there, heh...' "My nickname, 'Lena'... I think it means 'with'... But it could mean other things in other languages that I don't know. And I haven't exactly been using much Irish since I've grown up, so I could be wrong." 'There's so much to her that I have no idea about, even though I've taken a look insider her soul... 'With' and 'without', huh? Wonder if its as fitting as it sounds...' "What?" she asked suddenly, and he realized only then that he'd been staring off into space, directly at her.
"Nothin'," he lied, "Just amazes me still that you humans have so many different cultures an' languages. It's easy to forget just how big the world is up here..." That was true enough. The Underground had been so small compared to the world they were in now. It was almost intimidating to think about. Part of him wondered if he'd ever be able to see anything more of the world outside of their small town. Part of him doubted it.
"Yeah... Maybe someday we can go see more of it." Her voice was softer and it made his soul do a funny little flop in his chest, and he felt himself grin stupidly up at her.
"I'd like that." Seeing the world with Lena didn't sound so bad... He wondered if the stars looked any different anywhere else in the world. Sure, he knew that the world turned, and the stars were changing all the time, but maybe somewhere else, somewhere higher up... "Well, I'd better get back. Make sure Paps and the kid don't break anythin'." There was a slight silent pause, and he thought, again, of how the dates in movies usually ended. Turning on his heel quickly to hide the faint touch of blue across his cheekbones, he waved over his shoulder and headed back toward his own apartment.
He took a bit longer walking back than it would've normally taken, trying to calm his racing thoughts. He was sure the kid was going to give him a hard time as soon as he got back, and he wasn't particularly looking forward to it... By the time he finally shuffled his way to the front door and opened it, Frisk and Papyrus were sitting in the living room watching a movie. They both turned once they heard the door close, smiling.
"BROTHER! YOU HAVE RETURNED JUST IN TIME! HUMAN FRISK AND I ARE PREPARING TO WATCH ANOTHER METTATON SPECIAL!" Sans felt his smile falter at the mention of the cyborg and shrugged his shoulders.
"Cool, knock yourself out, Paps. I'm prolly gonna take a nap-" A hand suddenly grabbed his wrist and he was pulled forcibly backwards onto the couch, landing with an 'omph' as his skull hit the cushion behind him. "What's up?" Frisk was staring at him intently, their eyes focused with an almost laser precision on his face. He felt himself begin to sweat nervously.
"How did it go?" Here it comes. The questions.
"Eh, it was fine. Took 'er to Grillby's, had a burger n' fries. Nothin' special." They gave him an exasperated look.
"Did you tell her it was a date?" Papyrus was interested now, turning and looking at his brother expectantly. Sans felt himself begin to fidget nervously, and he huffed a sigh.
"No. Cus it wasn't a date. Just two friends goin' to get some grub, no big dea-"
"I'M AFRAID I HAVE TO DISAGREE, BROTHER! IT WAS MOST CERTAINLY A BIG DEAL BECAUSE YOU ACTUALLY DRESSED UP FOR IT, AND THAT IS STEP THREE OUT OF THE DATING HANDBOOK!" Of course Papyrus would know, since he actually owned the dating handbook. "DO YOU NOT LIKE LENA? I HAD ASSUMED, SINCE SHE SHOWED YOU HER SOUL-"
"You saw that?" His cheeks were a burning blue, and he shot Frisk a glare as they giggled quietly at him. Papyrus simply nodded, as though it were a simple fact and not the most embarrassing thing in Sans' life.
"WHY OF COURSE. YOU WERE BOTH OUT ON THE BALCONY FOR QUITE SOME TIME, AND I HAD GROWN WORRIED. BUT THEN I SAW THE TWO OF YOU AND I DID NOT WISH TO INTERRUPT..." At this Papyrus began to grow quiet, glancing nervously over at his brother. "YOU LOOKED QUITE HAPPY, SANS. AND... THE WAY YOU WERE LOOKING AT HER SOUL WAS VERY, UM... IT WAS..." Sans groaned loudly and raised his hands to cover his face, thoroughly embarrassed.
"Alright alright, I get it, you saw."
"SO THEN...DO YOU NOT HAVE ROMANTIC FEELINGS FOR LENA?" He stiffened, a pulse of...something...going through his soul, and he had neither the time nor patience to try and decipher it right then.
"I...fuck, Paps, I dunno. I'm not supposed to..."
"WHYEVER NOT, BROTHER?" The question was so innocent, and stars, Sans didn't want to be having this talk, much less with his own younger brother and the kid.
"Because, I'm... I mean she's...she's a human, and she could have any human guy she wanted," he mumbled, realizing that yes, it was true. She was a lucky catch for anyone, human or monster, and she could surely have anyone she wanted.
"But she doesn't want any human guy," Frisk piped up then, signing quickly, and Sans pushed their hands away from him, sighing heavily.
"Look, can we just...not talk about this?"
"BUT SANS, WHY WOULD YOU ALLOW HER TO SEE YOUR SOUL IF YOU DIDN'T-"
"I don't know!" he suddenly snapped, throwing his hands up in the air, and he felt guilty as Frisk flinched backwards. It took him a moment to be aware of it, but his left eye was glowing, his other socket empty and black. His emotions had gotten away from him. Fuck. "It's...she's a human, I'm not supposed to wanna- ... It's complicated."
"Brother...?" Papyrus asked, his voice quiet, browbones drawn together in concern. A hiss of air slipped past Sans' teeth as he sighed, running a hand over his skull in frustration.
"I...don't know how to deal with it," he muttered softly, feeling his face heat up again with a blush; this was embarrassing. "'m not used to feelin' so much at once, 'bout anythin', much less a person..." It scared him. He, who faced hundreds of resets, who faced death, his brother's dust, the genocide of his entire race, was afraid of his feelings. 'Some badass I am.' He felt a hand on his shoulder and chanced a glance over to see Papyrus, looking at him in a way that made his soul tear just a little.
"YOU SHOULD NOT BE AFRAID OF HER, BROTHER! FEELING SOMETHING FOR SOMEONE IS A WONDERFUL THING, ISN'T IT? YOU SHOULD EMBRACE THAT!" God, was he honestly getting relationship advice from his baby brother? Since when was Papyrus so big that Sans needed comforting from him? (The answer was a long time, because he'd always gotten that sort of comfort from him, even if he chose not to acknowledge it.) "IF YOU ARE AFRAID OF HER NOT LIKING YOU IN RETURN, THEN I MUST SAY, YOU REALLY ARE A NUMBSKULL!" The pun made the faintest bit of a smile tug at Sans' mouth, and Papyrus eagerly continued. "DO YOU NOT NOTICE HOW MUCH HER SOUL BRIGHTENS WHEN YOU ARE AROUND? I MAY NOT BE ABLE TO SEE IT AS WELL AS YOU OR FRISK, BUT I CAN FEEL IT!" Frisk nodded enthusiastically, hands moving as they signed.
"She smiles a lot more when you're around! And her soul's a lot happier, too! I can see it!" They nodded again sagely, as though they had just said a simple fact, and Sans couldn't help but chuckle.
"You think so...?"
"WE KNOW SO! YOU MUST SHOW HER HOW YOU FEEL, LEST SOMEONE ELSE SNATCHES HER OUT FROM UNDER YOU!" That wasn't a pleasant thought, but maybe Papyrus was right... Maybe he should tell her, or show her. "YOU ARE STILL UNCERTAIN? TELL ME, HAS SHE MADE ANY KIND OF ADVANCES SINCE THEN?" Frowning a bit, Sans tried to think back.
"Well... She did want to hold hands on the walk back from Grillby's." The way Frisk covered their mouth and started giggling made him feel a tad flustered, and he scratched at the back of his skull. "But that could've been because she didn't wanna get lost..." Papyrus and Frisk both shot him a look of disbelief and annoyance, and he hunched his shoulders defensively.
"YOU REALLY ARE A BONEHEAD."
The three of them stayed on the couch, Frisk curling into the shorter skeleton's side, hands clutching at his jacket. They had admitted that his magic flaring up had scared them, and he'd soothed them by scratching his bony fingers through their scalp apologetically. Despite all the shit they'd gone through together and caused for one another, he really did love that kid. Dinner time came and Papyrus insisted on teaching Frisk a recipe Lena had taught him. Sans stayed a safe distance away from the kitchen, slumped in the corner of the couch and watching from afar.
"NOW, HUMAN, THIS IS THE MOST IMPORTANT TASK!" he declared loudly, and Frisk nodded, completely focused. "YOU MUST LAYER THE INGREDIENTS CAREFULLY, IN ORDER! BUT FIRST!" He grabbed the spoon setting on the counter and scooped up a spoonful of the tomato sauce, dumping it into the baking dish and smearing it all around. "DOING THIS KEEPS THE NOODLES FROM STICKING TO THE PAN, SHE SAID! AND SO IT IS OF UTMOST IMPORTANCE!" Frisk signed something enthusiastically and grabbed one of the long, flat noodles, laying it across the bottom of the pan. Papyrus called out the order of ingredients while the child carefully followed, doing just as he said. By the time the lasagna was covered and put into the oven, there was a knock on the front door. "SANS, CAN YOU GET THE DOOR?"
"Sure thing bro." His hand glowed faintly and the door opened, and he could hear his brother groan in aggravation, saying something about 'lazy bones'. A familiar face poked in and he felt himself grin lazily, "Hey Tori. Here for the kid?"
"Hello, Sans! And yes, I came to get Frisk- oh!" She jumped slightly, surprised by the arms suddenly tight around her waist, and she chuckled. "Hello, my child!" She rested her paw atop their head, petting their hair gently. "Are you ready to go?" When Frisk shook their head fervently, she raised a brow.
"I helped Papyrus make lasagna! Can we stay and eat it with them?' The queen touched a finger to her chin, thinking, and Frisk sent her their best 'puppy dog eyes'. She laughed and bent down to nuzzle her nose against the top of their head.
"I suppose that's alright, so long as they do not mind. I had not come up with any plans for dinner anyhow." Sans shrugged and his grin widened as Frisk practically bounced on their toes, looking to him for an answer.
"Suppose it's alright. Paps, you up for company?" Like he needed to ask.
"OF COURSE! I SHALL MAKE SURE TO MAKE MY BEST GARLIC BREAD TO ACCOMPANY THE LASAGNA! THE HUMAN LENA TAUGHT ME HOW TO MAKE IT, AND THAT IT IS A GOOD THING TO SERVE WITH PASTA DISHES!"
When did she become such a constant in his life? Papyrus was talking about her every day, it seemed like. Why had he been so opposed to opening up to her again? He honestly couldn't remember. If he could go back in time, he'd tell himself to stop being stupid and just let her be his friend. 'Is that all she is anymore, though...?' A small frown pulled its way onto his face and he glanced out the window, up at the darkening sky that was already beginning to dot with stars.
"Do you know if Lena will be joining us?" Toriel suddenly asked, and Sans glanced over at her, giving a simple shrug. Frisk was sending him a knowing smirk and he growled softly, tugging his hood up to cover his face.
"Should we go invite her? Uncle Sans wants her to come over!" The damn kid was putting words in his mouth, but the way his soul fluttered when he thought of her coming over made him a little less frustrated about it.
"Oh, that is a splendid idea, my child! I shall text her right away!" Toriel moved to pull out her phone but was stopped by Frisk grabbing her paws, shaking their head.
"Uncle Sans should go ask her." He felt himself stiffen, eyesockets narrowing as he sent them a small glare. They simply stuck their tongue out at him and moved to stand behind Toriel, who was giving him a knowing smile.
"Yes, you are right. Sans, would you mind it terribly if you went and asked Lena to join us for dinner?" 'She knows the answer to that, she's just teasing me...' Heaving a sigh, he pushed himself off the couch and to his feet, stretching his arms above his head with a grunt.
"Sure, no prob." He left the apartment quickly, seeing Frisk's hands moving again and not really feeling up for what they had to say. As soon as the door to his apartment closed behind him he heard Toriel giggle. Yep, definitely not something he wanted to hear. Having it out in the open was too embarrassing. This was why he kept things to himself. No teasing if nobody knew about it.
...How blinded had he really been, to not realize something that everyone else could see so plainly?
Shaking his head, he shoved his hands into his pockets and started heading toward the human's apartment, his steps slowing the slightest bit the closer he got. It wasn't like he was asking her out, he was just asking her to come over and eat with them. It was something they'd done countless times before. When he finally reached the door that he knew was hers he pulled his hand out and rapped his knuckles gently against the door, waiting for it to open.
...Except that it didn't. Frowning slightly, he knocked again, stepping a bit closer as he tried to listen for movement on the other side. There was definitely movement, but it didn't sound like it was coming any closer to the door. 'What's the deal?' He tried again, knocking a third time and leaning against the side of the door frame. Then the door was suddenly ripped open and he jumped back slightly, feeling the smallest bit of relief that she actually answered. That relief, however, was quickly drowned out when he actually saw her.
The first thing he noticed was the pun, and god, he wanted to laugh at it, but there were other things that were just far too distracting. His eyes darted over her outfit, taking note of the skeletal hands that seemed to suddenly replace her own- oh, those were just gloves?- and the first thing he wondered was why the hell she was wearing something like that. 'Is she wearin' that for...me...?'
"H-hey!" she said, voice a little too high pitched and loud, and his eyes flickered up to her face, seeing how red her face was. The freckles across her cheeks were difficult to see, she was so red. Part of him was wondering just how red she could get, while the other part was wondering why she was so nervous. 'She is... Oh shit, holy shit, fuck-' Lena suddenly cleared her throat, and he quickly looked up to her face, embarrassed at having been caught staring. "C-can I help you with something...?" Oh. Right. He had a reason for coming over, didn't he?
"Uh..." he began, oh so intelligently, and it took him a moment to remember why he'd actually come over in the first place. "Oh. Tori, uh, I mean. Paps and Frisk made lasagna and wanted to know if, uh..." Why was it so difficult to ask her to come eat with them? She'd had dinner with them so many times, why was it suddenly different? Feeling his hands fidget nervously, he reached up to scratch at the back of his skull, glancing away from her. "Wanna come eat with us?" he asked, glancing up at her face just long enough to catch her nod her answer. "Cool, cool."
"Lemme just get my shoes real quick." He was about to say something, like 'alright' or 'no rush', but the instant she turned around, he saw it. A skeletal hand design sewn into the back pocket. His face flared with his blush and he choked on air that he didn't technically have lungs to breathe in the first place, and when she turned to see what the noise was, he very quickly and promptly turned away from the door entirely. 'Why is she wearing that? Why is she wearing that? Why-' "Ready!" She was suddenly outside standing next to him, looking at him expectantly, and he couldn't quite deal just yet.
"Okay, great," he rushed out, eyes refusing to meet her face- or her anything. He stared at anything that wasn't her, afraid that he'd get embarrassed if he did. It was obvious that she was onto him, though, because she leaned her head a little to look at him more, and he could see her frown.
"Everything okay...?" No, everything was NOT okay. It was entirely unfair of her to wear something that cute. He was suddenly overcome by the strong desire to reach out and touch her, to feel her flesh beneath his fingertips, the differences between them. His hand had acted on its own, because the next thing he knew, her hand was in his, and he found himself wishing she wasn't wearing gloves because he couldn't feel her as well this way. Was she gonna tell him to let go? Was he holding on too tightly? God, why was this so scary? It was just holding hands.
The glow from her soul brightened and he could feel her smile at him, and he only gave a small grunt when she suddenly adjusted their hands so that their fingers were intertwined. He could feel even more of her this way, her flesh warming the spaces between his bones, and he couldn't help the stupid wide grin that all but split his skull. The happy thrum of his soul was slowly becoming a more familiar sensation.
It wasn't until after dinner and everyone had returned to their respective homes that he checked his phone. The messages waiting for him had him groaning outloud, and he wanted to throw his phone across the room.
| Toriel: Did you pick out that outfit for her? It looks quite nice on her. I have got to hand it to you, they were quite flattering of her assets. |
| Sans: * i can normally appreciate a good pun but oh my god tori |
| Toriel: Are you saying that the clothing was not of your choosing? It certainly seemed like something you would pick for her. |
| Sans: * no i didn't i've never seen her wear that before, why would i pick that for her? |
| Sans: * don't answer that. dunno what frisk and paps told you but i'm not up to anything like that. |
| Toriel: I said nothing of the sort, Sans. You are awfully defensive for someone who is supposedly "not up to anything". |
Groaning loudly, he pulled his hood up to hide the embarrassed look on his face, tapping a reply furiously before shoving his phone back into his pocket. Bed. He needed to get ready for bed, and not deal with these flustering situations and conversations anymore. Today had been more than he'd ever wanted to put up with.
Just as he pushed himself up and was getting ready to go to bed, his phone buzzed again, and he contemplated turning it off without checking...but his curiosity got the better of him.
| Lena: Undyne and Alphys took me shopping. |
Ah... That explained a lot. Looks like he was gonna have a talk with Undyne later. He could only imagine how embarrassed she was when she got home and noticed. He dropped his phone onto his mattress and soon joined it, flopping across the sheets lazily without even bothering to change. He fell into a light, dreamless sleep.