Edward

I visited with Esme next, listening to her mind as she filled me in on the details of the nights. It was very much a 'girl-gossip' segment going on in her brain, while her thoughts were also consumed with an overwhelming urge to protect, to hug, to love her new child. The fact that she considered Bella wholly a part of her family was still startling to me.

Why do you accept her so willingly? I signed at her. Our acquisition of sign language had further increased the privacy of conversations in the house – with the notable exceptions of Alice and myself.

Because you have never seen yourself clearly. She thought in response.

I blinked at her blankly for her to continue.

Not only is Bella an amazing individual, who I would gladly accept as a friend without your input, but she is also a critical turning point in your life. She has fundamentally changed the way you look at the world. Your whole perspective on life has changed. You have a new center of focus, a new pathway to joy – other than your music. I cannot count how many jokes and how much laughter you've let out since she entered your life.

She paused, walking over to rest her hand on my shoulder.

I have no reservations. Except that I fear for the future. For how your relationship could develop, and change, with the passage of time. Whether or not you'll have to change her.

My stomach recoiled at the thought. Something as pure, as joyous, as Bella should not be reduced to a life of darkness, of blood, of thirst. But also to have her… die. She'd nearly died a few times since I met her, and I had done everything in my power to continue her life. The thought of her being absent from the world was a dark one. I would have to make a choice at some point. A very critical one. And I believed I knew someone who would be able to assist me in when that choice may occur.

I saw a flash of myself knocking on Alice and Jasper's door appear in Alice's mind. Come on in. she chimed at the vision. I pulled myself away from Esme, and headed up the stairs to Alice.

I opened the door as soon as I got to her room. Jasper was working on a model ship replica, carving gently with his fingernails, and only occasionally resorting to fine tipped tools to add in details. He smiled at me as I entered, knowing that if Alice and I were having a conversation, it wouldn't really matter where he was. No one ever saw a thing.

I began to start to ask my question, and she saw it, responding instantly.

I'm not sure when it happens. All I know is that it does.

She showed me a picture, a vision, a Bella more terrifyingly beautiful than the one I had nestled in my bed. A flawless, radiant, marble entity, was running through the forest at blurring speeds, her eyes a daunting and bloody red. My stomach lilted, earning me a curious look from Jasper. He had felt awe, pride, fear, and now nausea in the span of a few seconds. He – to his credit – pretended not to be feeling what I was, and used none of his own influences.

I began to start to ask her to explain how she didn't know, and she answered again.

Since you pulled her from the path of the van, her future has been entwined with yours. Sometimes she looks older, sometimes she looks younger, sometimes it's winters, sometimes it's summers. There is no set time I see her making this run, all I know is that it happens.

I'm not entirely sure what my retort was, but Alice glowered at me.

You can be angry all you like but it's happening. It isn't fuzzy. It's very defined. Her presence as one of our kind is solid. It's like a fixture. Only the timing of that event is warped.

I began to comment that Bella shouldn't have to die, that she should live a normal life. Something so bedraggled by misfortune should have the chance to live peacefully, happily, without being converted into a blood-thirsty statue. Alice looked at me sarcastically.

First of all – our existence isn't as bad as you paint it. We've learned to live peacefully, happily, contentedly if you will. Until you met Bella that had seemed an unachievable goal. But now…You love her. She loves you. You know more than any of us how the brain changes when you meet your soul mate. You've watched two couples go through the mental… reorientation.

The phenomenon was an intriguing one. When I had met Alice and Jasper they had already balanced themselves with each other, but I had watched Carlisle's mind after he had met Esme, even the first time, and when he had chanced upon her dying the second time, and changed her. His whole focus in life had shifted. He still had his career, his companion (myself), and his dedication to learning, but suddenly a whole new world of possibilities had awakened in him. The same reorientation had happened with Rosalie. Not to the extent that Carlisle had undergone, and perhaps it was her age that had to do with it. Alice and Jasper had seen that shift of attention in me. It did feel as though my world, everything I had previously taken pride in, or cared about, was less important than before. They were still important, but perhaps it could be described as seeing the Earth from space… in one moment, your country is the largest thing imaginable, and in another, in one tiny glimpse through a window, perspective is applied.

"She-" I began, before Alice cut me off mentally

Shouldn't have to die. Yeah I heard you the first time. With her luck – honestly – how long do you think she'd actually be able to stay alive? Fires, floods, lightning, cars, trees… Images of humans looking remarkably like Bella flashed through her imagination as she listed them, everything from burning in a house to being impaled by a tree branch from a hurricane.

"Enough Alice." I managed as my stomach rolled dizzyingly. I wondered if this was a similar sensation to the one that Bella experienced in cars. Jasper held a flicker of chastisement that he poked towards Alice. He may not know what she was doing, but he knew his wife, and just how dramatic she could be.

That is death. This… is a different life.

"And how would her conscience agree with you when she turns into the bloodthirsty monster we all know and love? When she wants nothing more than to murder her best friend to get at her blood?"

"We all adjusted." She said, firmly, her gaze not flinching an iota. Almost all of us had adjusted. Almost all of us had slipped too. And the depression and regret that came with that slip was what tore away at the semblances of humanity we had left in us.

"I do understand where you're coming from." A calm, male voice interrupted. My eyes flicked over to Jasper, his scarred arms held fast on the model he had been carving, his eyes fixed on me. I raised my eyebrow at him.

"She's got some seriously pure emotions. Her regrets, doubts, failings, worries, they're all self-directed. She's not angry at the world, she doesn't expect any more than she should, is pleasantly surprised all the time by the smallest of actions. She's a very calming person to feel. I wouldn't suggest a childlike naivety, because she still holds wisdom and patience. To be honest – her and her friend Angela could be easily compared to Carlisle."

I wasn't sure where he was going with his train of thought, but the addition of one of Bella's best friends to the conversation only gave fire to my thoughts.

"It might destroy Angela, Charlie, Renee, Jacob. Any number of her friends, to lose her." I quipped at Alice.

Loss is life. There isn't much about life that is happy and eternal.

Except maybe Emmett. Jasper smiled mentally. It didn't tip my mood.

"I said I understood where you were coming from. Bringing someone so pure and wise into our race would seem a crime. And yet… look what happened with Carlisle. He has saved hundreds, enriched the lives of uncountable numbers of both of our races. He even bartered a treaty with a blood enemy of our race. There isn't much he hasn't managed to conquer in the supernatural world."

"So?"

"So what could Bella's potential be, as a willing participant of the vampire world?"

My mouth closed with a snap. For that I had no answer.

Jasper seemed to sense my shock, and wisely retreated back to his model carving. Alice also decided to busy herself while I stood there. Thankfully I was given an exit, as Carlisle's mind began to enter my awareness. I would discuss it with him.

I retreated from the room of my siblings, who kept both their thoughts and voices to a minimum as I exited the house. The night was dark, and flitted by bioluminescent sparks of yellow, that I would now be unable to ever ignore again. I stood on the front porch, listening to Esme realise that Carlisle was home, as she heard his car pull into the driveway. I was trying to sort out what questions, that I would bombard my father figure with. His car pulled softly into the garage and I walked at a human pace towards it. Carlisle smiled at my approach.

Oh dear Edward. Something awry?

"You could say that."

What can I do? Settle a point of debate? Is our family split on a point?

Actually, I began signing. Most of them seem to be against Rosalie and I.

An uncommon alliance. Can I make an educated guess as to the subject? He thought in response. I looked sardonically at him. Is it Bella, and her future position as an immortal member of our family?

Is it that obvious? I signed.

I have only one thing to say on the matter, with the information I have at my disposal.

I was unsurprised he had formulated such an opinion, and yet I was surprised at the dismissive tone of his thoughts. It was a point he had made, and would be unlikely to alter, without ample reason.

It is Bella's choice. You must ask her. Ignoring that, or if she denies the lifestyle we struggle to lead…You two are as mentally bonded as any of our couples. And she will die. When she does, you will be much as Marcus became to Aro and Caius. A soul-less shell. It is, in my opinion, a fate worse than death, and you are too proud to let that befall you. Therefore you would die. And it is my opinion that the loss of a child is not something I would be able to take lightly. His thoughts filled with the nights Esme still shook with silent tears, about her misfortune, her baby, torn from life in tragedy. And then, unexpectedly, his mind filled with the desperate and dying face of my biological mother, begging with her last breath that Carlisle save her only son.

I would rather not see either of you die. And that is my thought on the matter. He approached me, resting his hand on the nape of my neck, as he bent his forehead to rest on mine. And then he was gone.

I stood in the night, surrounded by the random blinks of fireflies, listening with feverish ardency, to the soft heartbeat of the woman I loved, as she slept..