Ever heard of a laptop screen 'ghosting'? Well that's what happened to me, and why I've been AWOL. All back now. Thanks for reading!

I woke up confused. There were bright lights and mutated sounds around me. It took me a moment to blink away my confusion. I felt exhausted, like I'd been through another car accident. I twisted my head slowly to the side and felt the pull of an injury on my neck. What had happened exactly? The last thing I remembered I was… I was… Oh. I felt my cheeks warm slightly. I blinked open my eyes again and realised that I was looking up at Edward's ceiling. And Alice. If anything, Alice looked worse than I felt. Her face seemed drawn, and she looked very much like she had a headache. Her eyes seemed fuzzy and unfocused. She looked at me, and smiled, weakly.

"How are you feeling?"

"Okay. I think." I sat up slowly and the room span slightly. I saw Edward perched, hunched over, on his sofa. He was still shirtless, and looked more dishevelled than usual. Jasper was in front of him, his eyes sternly fixed on Edward. Carlisle appeared to my left, walking through the door. My back felt cold, and I realised that someone had 'dressed' me in one of Edward's button ups, backwards, and my naked back was exposed. I was literally barely dressed in front of most of my family. And it suddenly clicked in my head what had happened. We'd pushed too far. Edward had lost control. I idly wondered how close I had come to dying.

"I assume I should be thanking you, Alice." I said, sadly. She waved me off.

"Carlisle did the real work."

I looked over to him. He was in 'doctor mode', looking clinical, critical, and less fatherly. His fingers were instantly on my neck, his eyes were staring directly into mine.

"Thank you. And I'm sorry." Carlisle's eyes flicked over behind me, to where Edward was, and then back to mine.

"There is no need to apologize Bella. I'm glad you're well. You seem to be recovering splendidly."

"How long exactly was I out?" I asked.

"About nine hours." He said. Great, just long enough for everyone to get home and revel in the awkward jokes of Emmett.

"How bad has Emmett been?" I asked. Carlisle looked thoroughly confused.

"I mean the sex death thing has to be fuel for some pretty advanced jokes." I explained. Carlisle barely smiled. Too soon I suppose.

"He's managed to keep it serene. I can't say much for his thoughts…" he trailed off.

I looked over at Edward. He was unmoving, and the others looked restless.

"Edward?" I asked. He stiffened, turning towards me slightly. His face was turned away, towards Jasper.

"I'm sorry." I said, shakily. Edward's jaw clenched visibly. Jasper nodded at him, and he slowly turned toward me. His eyes, usually gold, sometimes dark ochre, were a brilliant, and uncomfortable red. I knew instantly that I wasn't normal. Instead of being scared that my blood was literally coursing through his veins, all I could feel was sadness. It felt somehow like I'd broken something. I'd held in my hands a beautiful shiny bubble, and squeezed just that little bit too tightly. His face showed the same resignation. Something serious was definitely going to happen.

"I'm going to go find you some clothing." Alice piped up beside me. I turned around to see that the room had emptied, except for Jasper and Edward. I wasn't sure why Jasper was present, but if Edward's expression of pain were any indication, then he was certainly needed.

"Edward..." I started again, his eyes met mine. "It's okay. Please don't blame yourself."

"Okay." he said. I was visibly surprised. That was not the response I had been expecting. My eyes flickered over to Jasper. His eyes were focused on Edward. How much complicitness, and calmness, and serenity was he pumping into Edward exactly? I took a deep breath. If anything, his calm was weirding me out more than his inevitable anger and self loathing.

"Uh Jasper, could you give us a minute?" I asked. He looked sternly at me, hovering for a moment. When he saw that I was calm and obviously determined, he relented, stepping slowly out of the room. He stopped at the doorway and turned back.

"I won't be far."

And then he was gone. I turned towards Edward again, and my heart sank. The pain that I thought I was seeing before had been magnified. I stood up, ignoring the slight spinning that followed me, and walked over to Edward. He stiffened as I approached. I slowed, and stopped, a few feet from him.

How are you doing? I signed.

"That's such a pathetic question." He responded. A trickle of hurt, then anger flared in me. He was fine. Just angry.

"I get that you're angry."

"Angry?" he laughed. "Bella I'm furious. You realise that I was seconds away from killing you right?"

"Yes." I cut in. "But we knew this sort of stuff could be hard."

"Bella. You died. You may have well as been dead. Lifeless and cold. Unmoving. Killed by none other than yours truly."

"Well pardon me for being unimpressed, but I have faced death a few times. I'm getting pretty good at it. You're the one creating the problem here."

"I am the problem." he repeated, slumping slightly more. His lips repeated something else, that I didn't catch. A flicker of annoyance popped through me, and I bit it back.

"That isn't what I said."

"It's the most truthful thing I've said regarding us and our relationship. How idiotic was I to think that this could possibly work?"

"So you're going to throw away everything we've worked so hard on, because of a setback?" I said, my curtness fueled by my anger at his self loathing state.

"A setback that nearly cost you your life. Again."

"I'm only alive today because of what you've done for me." I pointed out.

"And I nearly took that away twice. My actions, my decisions here have such terrible repercussions and outcomes. I can't do that any more. It isn't right." His eyes moved away from me and to the door behind me. I looked briefly. Alice stood there, a bundle of clothing in her arms. She was staring at Edward. I wasn't sure about the emotion on her face. It was something between anger and despair though. Her and Edward stared at each other, locked in their own conversation. I hesitated a few seconds and then walked towards her, grabbing the clothing. There was a pile of turtle necks and a few scarves. Hiding the misfortune of my neck for the next week or so was undoubtedly a priority. I took them all, choosing a simple black turtleneck, and retreiving my jeans, which were still pretty damp. I didn't care. I looked back at Edward, and he seemed to relax. A short, sharp and unsatisfying smile crossed his lips.

"Let's get you home Bella. You'll get a good night's rest tonight."

I looked back at Alice, but she was gone. Edward bundled up the clothing in my arms into a shopping bag, and quickly donned a shirt and shoes. This would be a tense ride home.

Not a single Cullen interrupted our trek to the truck. They had all vanished. Edward drove me home, at a respectable speed, without any complaint. His sudden relaxed nature, his sudden quiet disposition, had me more scared than his anger ever could have. It felt as though he had made some kind of critical decision, and the pessimist in me was leaping to conclusions.

"Are you staying with me tonight?" I asked, referring to our usual bedtime routine. He smiled at me, but his smile seemed sad.

"Of course."

I tried not to let my unease show, and just closed my eyes, resting my head against the rumbling inside of the truck. The vibration and noise made it impossible for me to think. My head was filled with distorted static and it was easy to focus on that, instead of thinking about the cold Edward beside me. He just needed some time. I made my way indoors, unhindered by Charlie, who was actually on his way out, responding to a vehicle crash due to the rain.

"Damn tourists." he said, ruffling my hair as he left. I walked upstairs alone, and checked my room, dropping the bag of new clothing inside. Edward stood there, looking out into the rain.

"I'm just going to shower." I said. I saw his head dip in a nod.

The sight of my neck was actually not as bad as I had been expecting. A clean, crescent shaped wound adorned it, Carlisle's stitches were neat and nearly invisible it certainly wasn't anything to wince at. I had been decorated with much worse. I showered, warming myself up, and got dressed into some warm pyjamas. I was cold, tired, and unsettled. I would undoubtedly sleep well. Thank goodness it was summer. When I reached my room again, Edward sat on my bed. It seemed like a casual gesture, but there was nothing casual about his disposition. I tucked myself under my blankets, resting my head on him so that he couldn't leave. I was asleep in seconds.

My dreams were nonexistent.