It wasn't long before I was shocked out of my quiet reverie by Carlisle, poking at me in concern. I blinked hard, trying to focus on him.
"... seems like you're both in a little bit of shock." Carlisle was saying, to Charlie. "Understandably, of course. But you will both be fine. I'm exceptionally surprised that Bella managed to escape unscathed."
He smiled down at me. "Aside from the scrapes of course."
His eyes were still worried, and he stared into mine. He began signing at me, angling his body between Charlie and his hands. You're remarkably calm about this. At least your father appears to be panicking in some way. You aren't in any kind of shock I've ever seen, you just seem... distant.
I bit at my lip for a little. How could I possibly respond to that? I was trying very hard to feel something about it. Mild panic seemed like a great idea, but other than pain, the most emotion I had felt since - well since Edward - was terror, and I wasn't exactly terrified right now. I was saved having to answer him by Esme interjecting.
"We would like to invite you both to stay at our house, until you get back on your feet. Between all of the bodies we have in our house we should have more than enough clothes for you, and we certainly have available beds." Charlie looked extremely hesitant. "Bella has certainly been there enough that she should feel more than welcome."
That seemed to tip his hat.
"Just for a few days." He said something else, but I missed it. I had caught sight of the spirit lady strolling towards me, looking angry, and for once, tired. I tilted my head, to ask what was wrong.
"Oh nothing. It just seems like we're going to be hanging out for a lot longer than I had expected. It's fine - really - I haven't had this much excitement since I was a tribesman, but I know that this won't be easy for you. In fact, this will be fucking hard." She ran her hands through her dark, straight hair. "For the next little bit, I suppose I'm going to have to keep a closer eye on you than I thought."
I narrowed my eyes at her.
"Just until we talk some more." She raised her hands defensively. "Regardless, we're going to vamp city for the next few days, and I'd say that is more important than anything I've got to say for the next little while."
This time I rolled my eyes at her. It figures that my delusional spirit guide would be afraid of vampires. Everyone else seemed to be.
According to Charlie, we weren't going to be allowed into the house to search for things until the fire chief had officially cleared it. My truck keys, buried somewhere inside, made my pickup truck now a rather rusted lawn ornament. Charlie's cruiser was working perfectly fine with it's keys having been on Charlie, and that was what drove us to the Cullen household now. As we made our way up the winding driveway, following Carlisle's black BMW I felt the hole in my chest growing, and my palms began to sweat. Spirit lady, sitting in the back, suddenly frowned, focusing on me.
"Shove over for a second." She said, a note of panic flickering in her voice. I barely had time to register what she said before I was sitting in the back of the cruiser, looking at myself. My body clapped her palms together quickly, rubbing her fingers furiously, with an intense look on her face.
"Cold kiddo?" Charlie muttered, turning up the heat in the car.
"Yeah, thanks." I saw myself respond. I sat in the back, watching my body relax a little, stretch out her fingers, and instead look up out at the window. I could see the Cullen mansion, white, and remarkably cold looking for the first time. I was kind of glad that the spirit lady was driving. It meant I didn't have to worry about saving face, or worrying about what to say. I could rest. When Charlie and my body got out of the car, I followed, realising afterwards that I had in fact shifted through the closed car door, in my attempt to keep up with them.
Carlisle and Esme greeted us again, beginning to show Charlie around the house. They had one guest bedroom, that I could recall, and they showed Charlie straight to it, after giving him the general tour.
"You said that three of your kids were out, going up to Alaska?" Charlie said. I tuned in to hear their response.
"Rosalie, Emmett and Edward, yes. Alice and Jasper are still with us." Esme looked over towards my body, apologetically. "Alice and Bella will be sharing a room, I hope that's alright?"
"Yes, of course." I said automatically, and then remembered that she couldn't hear me.
"Yes, of course." My body repeated in the same tone. It sounded like an abstract echo. Very disconcerting.
"I'm going to go about the business of cooking us all some dinner, Carlisle can help you settle in, and scrounge up some clothes." Esme smiled warmly, making Charlie flush slightly. He definitely wasn't used to the Cullen cordiality and hospitality.
"It isn't necessary..." he began, and was cut off by her.
"Bella, you're welcome to help me, or Carlisle if you'd like, unless you'd prefer to get settled in with Alice? I know she's worried about you."
"Where is she?" I asked, and spirit lady repeated for me.
"Probably upstairs. She's been a mess since she heard." Carlisle added in, sadly. "We're glad Jasper decided to stay here, I know he's helping her."
We relayed that we'd go to see Alice, and Charlie went off with Carlisle. I trudged up the stairs beside my body.
"Can I do this bit?" I asked. She nodded, and I tripped over a step as I was disorientingly dropped back into my body.
"Sorry." Spirit lady piped. "Should have waited until we reached the landing."
I signed a very obvious, 'you' 'read' and 'signing'. I hoped it would get the message across. Particularly in this house, whispered conversations would be overheard. She sighed, obnoxiously loudly.
"I suppose I'll have to learn. Either that or you start getting better at charades." She stopped in the hallway, obviously having no idea where to go. My eyes strayed naturally to the door I'd always head to. It opened suddenly and the resident hole in my chest screamed for a moment, my head reeling. Jasper came out of it, smiling sadly at me.
"Good afternoon, Bella. I'm sorry about that. I didn't mean to confuse you." Jasper waited while I composed myself. I bent over slightly with the effort, kneading my chest. He frowned at me, feeling, and shook himself slightly. "I don't know if this is any consolation to you... but that's an impressively strong emotion. I would have expected something of that magnitude from one of us. You've shocked me today." he smiled.
"Glad I could help." I whispered, breathlessly, trying to regain my focus. I looked towards his usual bedroom, opening my mouth to inquire.
Yes, you two will be bunking up in there. He signed.
"I'm sorry." I responded, looking at him.
"For your house burning down?" he asked aloud, "What a queer thing to be sorry for."
"Not particularly." Spirit lady jabbed, unheard. Annoyance flickered in me, and Jasper frowned, confused again.
"I mean, for taking your room. For kicking you our of your sanctuary." I clarified, as I walked over to the aforementioned room. I tilted my head in question towards the door, and Jasper frowned again.
Not okay. She can't see you, and it's scaring her. Not to mention that you seem to be in 'danger mode' again. He signed.
"That's hardly my fault."
He shrugged and smiled. "It certainly keeps things interesting." She'll need some help though. He signed afterwards. I nodded, and opened the door. Alice was sitting, staring out at Charlie's cruiser on the driveway. I had to walk all the way over to her, sitting right beside her, and poke her before she responded, speaking clearly, but quietly enough that I had to lip read to be sure I caught everything.
"I didn't see it Bella. I didn't see you get lost in the woods. I didn't see you in your house, surrounded by god damned fire. I couldn't even see your arrival here, were it not for Charlie coming too."
"It's okay, Alice. It's not your fault."
"She can see things like that normally?" Spirit lady asked, intrigued. I ignored her.
"Sounds like you're going to have to get more creative then. Stop trying to look for me, and look for those I'm attached to. I guess right now that should be the easiest thing." I said, trying to reassure her.
"I've been speculating on why. I can see other humans still, and even Edward still -" my chest gaped again, "- but I can't seem to see you anymore." She grabbed her head. "Do you think I'm losing my gift? Do you think I'm losing my mind?"
"Okay, first of all, no one is losing any minds here." Except perhaps me. "And secondly, Alice, don't fret about this, okay? You could drive yourself crazy. Just try and relax, and let things take their course, okay?"
"Tell her to try meditation. Works for me." Spirit lady chimed in. I repeated the message.
"Maybe try meditation?"
She suddenly sat up, ramrod straight.
"I'm so sorry Bella. Your house burned down, and you're comforting me?!" She was so outraged at her lack of sense there, that I almost smiled. I tried really hard to.
And then spirit lady piped up.
"Can we explore the house?" I looked at her like she was crazy for asking. My eyes flickered over to the door, gesturing that she could leave, and she shook her head.
"Oh no. I told you, I can't leave you alone. You might set something else on fire, particularly in your current emotional climate." She said dismissively. Shock and hurt filled my body again. I wanted to ask her what she meant by that, when Alice interrupted my thoughts.
"What's wrong Bella?" she asked, worried, starting at me. Jasper came into the room, staring in quiet bemusement. I was beginning to feel like the circus show I was turning into.
"Nothing. I think I need some air."
They could tell that I meant to be by myself, and watched me go. I made my way down to the front porch and sat, waiting for spirit lady to join me, in a seated fashion. I motioned that I wanted to switch places and she sighed.
"All right. Ask away." she said, before I was greeted with the dizzying movement that meant I was no longer physical.
"What the hell do you keep going on about?"