Life progressed. The problem that I seemed to be having with it - was that I was missing large bits of it. My days, which I had so astutely remembered before - probably because of my hearing loss and my need to observe and process in high detail that which was around me - had become blurs, pinpointed with moments of clarity. Normally those moments were when I was with Renesmee - Ness - in practicing my new abilities. I was becoming quite skilled, according to my tutor. We were practicing outside, in the greenery of the Cullen's expansive backyard. Jacob loved being a part of these tests, watching me progress. He kept saying it was freaky seeing breakable little me, do so much damage to other people.

"You're getting really good at this Bella." Renesmee beamed, a small expression of shock on her face. I had just learned how to make a small version of the firewall I had made before, wrapping it around a single person, instead of a whole house. Now that Carlisle had me on the lookout, I was trying to also evaluate whether my hearing was connected to the use of the fire. I couldn't tell in this moment, but the concentration effort of wrapping the small circle of flames closely around Jacob (my willing - if nervous - test subject), had spiked a fierce headache. "I've never had someone take so quickly to it."

I smiled, and extinguished the flame quickly. Jacob relaxed a little, then shivered.

"Damn it's cold after that." Goosebumps rippled up and down his arms.

"I thought you never got cold." I said. Ness laughed - unheard by Jacob in her spirit form. He could only see her in that form when he was a wolf, and only talk with her when she was driving the body. It felt very much like the star crossed lovers. If I wasn't in the way, they'd be able to move on with their lives. I tried to quench the thought. Between Renesmee and Jasper intruding on my feelings, I felt like I'd be pinned down for a psych eval at any minute.

"Yeah well you try stepping between a sauna and an icebox and see what happens." He quipped back. Jacob - to his credit - spent equal amounts of time with me and Renesmee, never asking me to step out. I had a feeling he was trying very much to share his best friend and his... girlfriend, I guess... without offending either of them. It was always Renesmee or I that initiated the switch, and more often than not, it was me. I felt like she was trying to avoid pushing me out too much as well. I just felt like an energy and effort drain for both of them.

The Cullens had their own lives back to some semblance of order. Charlie had secured a house for us through the insurance money and technically, I lived there now. It was closer to La Push, further from the school. I'd helped for a few days with the move, but it had been mostly the Cullens that had done the heavy lifting. I had slept there maybe once or twice in the time we'd had the house - which was coming up on two weeks now. Living with the Cullens was the easier option. I had people to remind me to eat and sleep, and Jacob and Renesmee could spend time here. We could all talk about supernatural stuff without worry. I spent as much time as I needed to at my new house to assure Charlie that I was fine. He was thankfully busy with work - busy with an alarming amount of murder within the county limits, and adjacent counties. At first it could be attributed to wildlife and nothing was overly suspicious, but the amount of bodies beginning to pile up was getting bizarre. The Cullens didn't seem to be worried - at least from what I could ascertain, but with their knowledge of Renesmee's and my sneaking abilities, I wouldn't be surprised if they were worried, and having secret family discussions while they were out hunting. The only news of any interest that had come from them recently was good news... in theory.

Alice informed us that Rosalie and Emmett would be arriving relatively soon. Alice hadn't been able to pin down the date yet, as the mini-vacation they had taken to get away from the family dispute and drama, had apparently become boring, and they wanted to come back. Little did they know they'd be in for more interesting news developments when they got back.

I was shocked out of my daydreaming by Jacob. He walked over to the porch, grabbing a blanket, and wrapping up in it. Ness watched him, with a huge, coy smile on her face. She enjoyed just being near him.

"Can you make this warmer, without burning me?" He asked, shaking out the damp blanket a little.

"Sure. Give it here." I wrapped myself up in it and focused on the warming sensation I'd gotten quite good with. Once the blanket smelled a little of hot wool, I pulled it off and handed it back. He gleefully wrapped up this time.

"Ugh. I preferred the eye-candy." Ness sighed. I smiled lightly. I wanted to give them some private time. Maybe go exploring for a couple of days.

"Jacob...Ness..." I began, both of them looked at me. "I think I want to go exploring for a little. See how far I can actually go on this psychic tether we've got."

"How do you mean?" Jacob asked.

"How far are you trying to go?" Ness asked, simultaneously.

"I just want to pick a direction, and run for a while. See if I can get to Canada or something." I said to Renesmee, and looked over at Jacob. "We can separate to quite some distance, as you know already, I just want to know if there's a limit."

They both stood quietly for a few seconds, contemplating.

"What if you get lost?"

"I'm bound to get lost. But I can generally follow the coast, and find a town, plus if I feel like my hold on my own body is getting tenuous, then I'll zip back."

"I don't think you will." Ness muttered. "With my first body, I just always knew how to get back. I've never tried to go as far as you, admittedly, but you just...can. It's difficult to explain."

Jacob looked up towards the house suddenly and I turned around. Alice was standing there.

"Would you like me to go with you?" Alice asked me, in her usual paired ASL and English.

"But you wouldn't be able to see me." I responded.

"But you'd have company. I can talk to myself for hours on end you know. And if you want me to stop just light a nearby tree on fire or something." Alice smiled. She would. She'd run to the ends of the earth with me and for me. But not today. Today I needed some alone time.

"It's okay Alice." I smiled, walking over to hug her. "I appreciate the offer, but I think that my life is a little crowded nowadays. I just want some me time."

Alice smiled, nodding. She was trying to not look sad. I knew her well enough to know that. But I really did need the space. I needed to breathe. I needed to think. I was tapped on my shoulder and I turned around to look at Jacob.

"When are you going?" Jacob asked - practical as ever.

"Now's a good a time as any. I won't get hungry or fatigued while I'm out there. The worst I could do is fall asleep and accidentally end up back here." I laughed. I pushed myself out to where Renesmee currently stood, and she hopped instantaneously back into my body. I watched, for the first time, how my own posture changed when she entered me. She stood taller, more confidently than I. And I'd already noticed the strange way her face muscles shifted. Her face was noticeably different when she was driving the meat suit. In the spirit form, I could suddenly hear so much more, and reveled in the noise. It was becoming a sad experience being trapped in my own hard-of-hearing form. Ness was having to learn ASL too, with my body becoming so inept at the hearing thing. She was - of course - getting quite good at it.

"See you later guys." I smiled, knowing only Renesmee could hear me.

"Bye Bella." She whispered.

And I ran. I wasn't sure what direction I was going at first, until I hit the beach. I must have side-stepped La Push in the forest, because I'd not bumped into that. I turned right, figuring that it was the direction that should then lead north, and continued my run. Hearing the crashing sounds of the waves, the barking of the gulls, and catching the occasional conversations of people as I ran was amazing. I felt much like Patrick Swayze had probably felt in Ghost, running through people, spying on interesting things, and going about my own business. I ran and ran, until it was dark, and then much after. Following the beach at night in the light of the moon, running carelessly along rocky cliffs and jumping across difficult gorges with ease. This was undoubtedly what it felt like to be a vampire. The care-free nature of the run was unimaginably freeing, and I felt genuine happiness for the first time in a while. I could still feel that tug, that inexplicable knowledge of where my body was and how to return to it, like a string.

As I ran I began to wonder if I could do undersea exploration, or what would happen if Ness went to the moon. I began thinking about the difficulties of frozen or desolately hot places, and how easy the Cullens, and now I, could explore and revel in the beauty around us. There were biological marvels that could be explored that I could do, where even the Cullen's could not. I could follow a herd of elephants, or dangerous creatures like gorillas, without ever being detected. I could do an entire lifetime's worth of scientific research, first hand. I could go and become a political spy, creeping in on dangerous situations, or gathering intel, for which I would have no risk of detection.

I was so wrapped up in the possibilities that I didn't notice him until I ran straight through him. I stopped dead, turning around. He stood, still as a statue, looking out into the ocean. It was Garrett. He looked exactly the same as when I had met him in the desert that strange night. He didn't seem to be in any hurry, waiting, as he was by the beach. I wondered what he was up to. His eyes were bright red - the side effect of a fresh meal - and I wondered what he was doing, just standing there. I stood beside him, looking out into the sea. He sighed, pretty heftily, and then went through the motions of cracking his knuckles, though I heard no sound. Was he weird for waiting here, or was I weird for watching him? His head cocked suddenly, and he looked out into the ocean. I saw a faint, far-away splash, and smiled. He was watching whales. They were too far out for my eyes to see clearly, but I had no doubt that his enhanced vision was giving him a clear view. I watched his face as it flickered with a slight happiness whenever a breach occurred. It suddenly occurred to me that I was being quite rude, intruding on a personal moment. I began to walk away, on my original coastal path. Some super secret agent I'd be... wracked up with guilt and embarrassment at anything private. I looked along the beach and it's coarse rocks. No wonder there were no people along this segment. The rocks themselves were sharp and jagged. I looked back at Gareth, and saw that he stood barefoot, balanced on what looked like two quite painful rock perches. I snorted to myself and he suddenly looked towards me. Had he heard me? The sensation of my blood running cold flitted through me. I made a mental note that that particular sensation was mental rather than physical, and then had the rather surprising shock of someone running through me. I hadn't heard them coming at all.

I then had the more unpleasant downfall of emotion that resulted from that person also being someone familiar.