Dan hadn't heard from either of Chloe or Lucifer for a few days and assumed plans were being discussed or she had backed out. He wasn't ready to follow up on this just yet. Is it cool if I have casual sex with your boyfriend now? How's next weekend?

Waiting for word had him on edge. He'd never contemplated something like this before. Well, he hadn't had these kinds of thoughts since high school, and then the fantasy had been all additional women, not men. Not that anything ever came of it. Even Chloe had been more adventurous than him around the same time before they met.

Dan had done a fair amount of what he optimistically called 'internet research,' specifically on multi-partners the last few nights. An upside to 'research' being he found out he liked more kinds of porn than he initially thought. He discovered that he didn't dig younger chicks as much as he used to.

He discovered, in fact, one porn series based on Lucifer. Their Lucifer the club-owner, not actual Lucifer. It's not that weird, being in L.A. and the middle of the porn production industry and given his notoriety. Thankfully the actor didn't turn out to be Mr. Morningstar and had more in common physically with a platinum blond Chris Evans. Dan found out he did not have a thing for surfer dudes.

Predictably, the series titles began with "Devil's Threesome," followed by "Devil in Miss Jones," "Devil May Care" and "Hell Hole." 'Porn Lucifer' had red dragon wings painted on his shoulders and light-up plastic horns. Production values were not high.

The porn title names ran as long as every pun related to Satan ever.

The comment section contained several [deleted by admin] notices before reviews were shut off entirely. Dan had a feeling he knew who caused it.

Dan stood lost in thought at work, staring distractedly at the coffee flavor selection - Hazelnut or French Vanilla. What the hell is French Vanilla anyway? Why isn't it just 'Vanilla'?

"Have you seen the Detective, Detective?" Lucifers' dulcet tones slid over Dan's ear, and he jumped. How the hell did he appear out of nowhere all the time?

Lucifer stepped close behind, hooked a finger through the middle loop on the back of Dan's jeans, blessedly out of sight of nearby coworkers. The devil drew on it slightly, transferring the pressure of the denim to his groin. Dan desperately fought down rising heat in his face and elsewhere. "Uh."

"Your ex? Soon to be semi-ex?" Lucifer's face floated far too close to his for the middle of work. Lucifer leaned in closer, relentless, voice dropping into velvet and the heat of his breath on Dan's neck. "The one I've been fucking as often as she'll have me?"

Dan's breath hitched. What was the question?

"Uh."

The Devil smiled. "Good thing you're handsome because you don't have much else going for you right now."

Dan swallowed. "Chloe's out on a case."

Lucifer leaned away, offended. "What, without me?"

Dan half-smiled, extracting himself from Lucifer before he pitched a tent. "Looks like she didn't need you today."

"Or you, it seems."

Shrugging, "I have paperwork to catch up on." Probably.

Lucifer towered over him, despite there not being that much height difference. "Someone got offed, and she didn't even text. I've half a mind to go investigate myself."

"We actually aren't sure it's a murder. Might be staged, but might not. Someone's dead, but it's really not weird or different so far. Ella's out collecting samples."

"Well. Given how familiar she is now with all my talents, I'm sure you're right. Chloe wouldn't want me to waste any of my valuable time when I'm not useful."

"Yes, I'm sure she can use your vast array of sex-related skills on a crime scene." Dan instantly regretted attempting sarcasm.

Lucifer nodded knowingly. "Yes, you're right, Detective, now that we're much more intimate with each other, I should check in and make sure she knows she has all of me to call on now."

"Wait-"

He was gone.

Because of course.

Dan sighed and grabbed Hazelnut.

Ella sat on her heels near a cold puddle of blood congealing in the leaves. She poked blindly into a concrete culvert using a long stick. They were off the trail, under the shadow of the dam. The trickling spillover would have been relaxing if this hadn't been a potential murder scene.

Chloe's phone buzzed. She ignored it for the moment. The tone didn't match the one assigned to Trixie. "So?"

The smaller woman grunted and crawled all the way in.

"Ella!"

"'M fine. Also smol. Be right back." Her butt vanished into the dark.

The first body was found off a walking path in the park. The suspect had wandered off the trail and fell to his death onto the concrete causeway, then slid from there into the creek and bled out next to the culvert. Some kids looking for bugs found him and called the police. It was a little too much like the start of a bad Law & Order episode.

The man had been reported missing last night, but circumstances didn't flag it for anything unusual. A liquor bottle rested nearby, indicating a drunken spill when he slipped and fell off the path. A scattering of small stones led to the drop-off, like a perfect explanation.

Ella, the ever-observant scientist, thought that maybe the damage to his head hadn't been caused only by falling onto concrete and just went into a drain to look for God knows what.

The second body found two hours ago, not well buried and some distance down the creek. The woman had been far away from a trail.

The third body wrapped up everything far too cleanly. A murder-murder-suicide.

She would have to call her friendly neighborhood civilian consultant after all. But not yet.

Chloe sank to her knees outside Ella's concrete tunnel, clear of the pool of blood. She turned on her flashlight. "Ella?" she stuck her head in and got a hair's breadth of gut warning before someone touched her back.

"Detective! I'd know that ass anywhere!"

Chloe hit her head on the top of the tunnel when she jumped, glaring back. "Ow."

Ella appeared out of the dark, nearly plowing into her coworker. "Got it!"

"Hello, Ella! Any more lovely ladies spelunking in strange places?" The Devil helpfully offered them a hand up.

Ella emerged covered in grime, her hand gripping something long, blunt and heavy. She beamed triumphantly. "I found the murder weapon! Well, one of them! Probably!"

"Detective! Dan informed me this hardly even counted as a murder? Does he require punishing?"

"OH MY- No." She rubbed her head. "Why are you here?"

"Dan helpfully pointed out the fact that you're more familiar with my full set of talents and I might be of some previously unknown use to you out on the scene!"

Chloe tilted her phone up. The earlier text message came from Dan. Incoming Devil. There must have been a gap in service since the timestamp occurred five minutes ago. She sighed.

Ella opened an evidence bag for her lost treasure. "Dude, Chloe is not gonna have sex with you out here. I'm assuming."

"Lucifer, Yes, there's a murder. Or two, but it's not a head-scratcher. Maybe a little more complicated than at first glance. But still, looks like a lousy cover-up. There are no witnesses that we know of and no live suspects. No handy surveillance cameras out here either.

The forensic specialist carefully sealed her bag, turning the blunt object around. "Still not sure what this is exactly, but it showed up like a Christmas tree under the blacklight." She labeled the bag and held it close like a lover."I will discover your secrets, my murdery friend."

Lucifer glanced around. "Where are the bodies?"

"Already collected." Chloe nodded up the hill. "The guys who arrived on scene thought he died accidentally, so they went ahead and bagged him. I have to have a discussion with them later. You should have passed the ambulance on your drive in."

"I arrived on the other side of the park."

"Oooookay, well, it looks like the first guy either got pushed off the path, then finished off after hitting his head down there, or he was struck first then pushed. We aren't sure yet. Ella will probably have a better idea once she gets everything back to the lab. The second body found is a female. The third male shot her then killed himself."

"Well, that sounds dreadful."

"It's messier than when we got here. At first, only one man had fallen off the trail. The woman doesn't have identification on her. The third man shot himself in the face, so we have to put Ella to yet more work to confirm the ID on his body matches the person."

Ella nodded. "Shouldn't be too hard. As long as he has fingerprints, I might get lucky and get an easy ID from the State or Federal databases. Same for the woman."

Lucifer eyed the bagged object, "And the original man?"

"His driver's license says he's Brent Spiner, but don't freak out, because the name is just a coincidence, plus he's much younger."

"Don't freak out about what?"

"Oh my gosh, dude, there's no way you didn't watch Star Trek: Next Gen when it was on."

"Before my time, I'm afraid."

"Before your-! Satan. No offense, but you are the right age to have seen it on cable. Troi would be so your jam. I didn't get to watch it until after it ended, but at least I had DS9."

"DS What?"

Ella threw up her purple-gloved hands. "Chloe? Please please please promise me you'll tie him to a chair and make him catch up on culture."

She grinned. "There are four lights."

"YES. THANK YOU. I heart you, Chloe."

Lucifer looked utterly lost.

Chloe kissed his adorably confused face. "Don't worry. We can start after Season 1 when it becomes tolerable. How about we head back and I'll update you with more case details on the way?"

"And by case details, you mean-"

She glanced at Ella who didn't even pretend not to watch them. "Case details."

Chloe licked Lucifer's lips. Why did have to wear so many layers of clothes?

He breathed her with arms wrapped tight around her waist. "You could stay a little longer."

They were in the damn closet, making out like a couple of teenagers. She kissed his neck. "We have to get some work done if you want me to have some free time for tonight. I don't want to get caught by our boss doing naughty things to you in here."

Lucifer pulled her hips up against him. Hot hardness nestled against her in just the right place. He dropped into his sexy voice. "Some things are worth the risk."

She moaned into his neck. This could get out of hand fast. Or in hand fast. "I will not get fired for having sex at work."

"That they know of." He unhelpfully rolled his body against her.

"Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm."

One hand moved to her ass.

She groaned and gathered the willpower to push him back. "Nope. Later. If we keep going, we're going to keep going. And I'm not good at 'quiet.'"

"Later it is. I need a minute." Lips brushed her ear.

She squeezed him tight before letting go.

"If Dan doesn't care about being caught and getting fired, you could grab him." She laughed. Like Dan would be that dumb. She kissed her boyfriend again and stepped out.

Dan's phone buzzed silently. Lucifer texted.

L: Want closet sex?

Dan's throat tightened in the middle of the meeting. At least he's not running it. He caught sight of Chloe headed for Ella's lab through the office windows.

Under the table, he carefully replied.

D: Chloe?

L: Said I could jump your bones if you were willing. And you have lovely cheekbones.

Dan glanced at his coworkers around the table, watching the presentation and not him. He took a sip of water.

D: Later? In mtng

L: I'm afraid I'll be taking care of business myself if I don't get some company.

D: Supply closet? Rly?

L: Yes "Rly" I've got my other hand in my pants right now.

Dan is sure his face is starting to glow red. He leaned over his notepad and pretended to write things down.

L: Not so little Lucifer is getting some attention. I'm quite hard.

Dan quickly drank more water.

D: Dude, I'll have to shut off the phone.

L: You don't want to hear about me stroking my cock? I can do it one-handed fine, but it and I prefer a little assistance.

He licked his lips, attempting to appear to be studiously taking notes on the presentation.

D: I can't just fuck out.

Oh, my God. Fucking autocorrect.

L: Why, Detective, you must be thinking about me a little at least.

Dan's dick twitched. He excused himself to hit the bathroom. The presenter waved him out.

L: Come on Dan, I'm close. You could slip in here and finish me off.

D: Dammit, I'm in the bathroom now.

L: Whatever for?

D: I'm trying to cool off.

L: Oh, I have got you all hot and bothered! My delicious self is ripe for the picking in here.

This is not happening. No one else occupied the bathroom.

D: If I leave here, and go straight to the closet, everyone in the meeting will see me do it.

D: Not to mention I have a raging hard-on thanks to you.

L: There are extra-large sharpies in here. And you're welcome. I hoped to have someone's lips on my cock by now.

Dan improvised. He slipped into a stall.

D: And now I have to jerk off too.

L: Then why are you still chatting me up?

Dan paused. Why indeed?

D: Would you send me, uh.

Lucifer's dick pic arrived.

L: Don't leave me hanging figuratively AND literally, D.D.

Oh.

Dan managed to do so without dropping his phone.

L: Not bad. I have to teach you how to frame a sexy photo. But It's the dirty thought that counts.

L: I hope you think of me the next time you need pens.

D: How are you?

L: I came. Luckily there are kleenexes in here. Unluckily there are no recipients.

The coast remained clear, so Dan made quick work of himself, washed up and silently cursed the day he ever met Lucifer Morningstar.