Lucifer grinned wickedly.

Chloe held one hand over her mouth.

Ella turned over the now clean object in her gloved hands, puzzling over it. She wore one of her brightly colored signature cartoon shirts under her lab coat. This shirt had two dinosaurs. One speaking to the other about "sudden but inevitable betrayal."

Ella waved it slightly. "The murder weapon is a dildo."

"Dong," Lucifer supplied helpfully. As always, he sported one of his dark suits with a light purple shirt.

Chloe half turned to peer over her shoulder at him. "Say what?"

"A dildo is phallus shaped but with balls or a base. A dong doesn't have a base. See there? can google it for you later."

The object in question: an 18-inch long black glass sex toy, two inches across the tip with a widening back end but no platform base. When Ella held it up to the light, it had some faint purple and blue swirls within, and the veins on the outside done in striking flame orange.

Under a certain light, it almost could look like a comet. Aside from the obvious penis head.

The opposite end appeared sheared off

Lucifer continued, "It's a work of art really. It's not easy to get glass into a detailed shape like that." He indicated the ridge under the glans. There might have been a hint of longing in his voice."Multiple passes in the forge, I bet."

"Really." Chloe looked unamused.

"Really?" Ella asked, both fascinated and amused.

"This must be a custom order. It would be astonishing if you found something like this sold in bulk. I can probably help you track down the maker if you need assistance. Maybe an Etsy shop specializing in glass?"

Chloe gave the thing a wide berth. "Glass sex toys? Is that safe?"

Lucifer smiled knowingly. "It's extremely safe. Very anti-bacterial, as long as it doesn't get scratched it's easy to clean and can last forever. The girth of most glass toys makes them very durable. The weight upon insertion makes for a whole different sensation than silicone. I'd say you have your murder weapon, Ella."

Ella eyed Lucifer for a moment. "Are you sure you weren't a sex therapist in a past life?"

"Goodness, no, I don't have any past lives."

"Oh, right, eternal lifespan." She shook her head and regarded the toy/weapon. "I mean, I don't know what else it would be doing in a drain unless someone stashed it there."

"I should say so. An item like that shouldn't leave the residence."

"There are no scuff marks on it, from possibly striking bone, but the relevant damage might be on the missing piece."

"The head end would be much easier to grip if you wanted to wield it."

Chloe cringed. "Did your team find anything else that might be a weapon?"

"Other than the gun, no. Right now things are pointing to a love triangle that ended badly." Ella placed the thing back down on the table.

"What did I tell you, Detective? Jealousy ruins everything."

She ignored him, a bit of worry gnawing on her stomach. "Was that what happened?"

"The gun has been registered to a Kenneth Amber. Everything points to him being the murder-suicide, but we don't know if he's the murder-murder. We aren't sure on the woman. We didn't find evidence of a marriage, but she could be a girlfriend. This puppy is heavy enough that she could have whacked Brent over the head with it and broken it. She had to sneak up on him. The nature of the dildo-"

"Dong."

"Means there weren't any fingerprints - the grime I found it in took care of that before I ever got to it."

Chloe chewed her lip. "Is it possible someone else shot Kenneth and staged a suicide?"

Ella considered it. "A fourth person would make this uber complicated. It'd be like, Rube Goldberg murder."

"Still, if we discard the possibility, there's a chance that other person would be getting away with murdering three other people."

"We'll look into it, sure."

"I guess Lucifer, and I will go to the homes of the two men we know of, see if we can find anything."

"And I'll send an intern out to the culvert to try to find the chunk of the toy that's missing. Oh hey, Chloe, since you two have been dating a while, can I change your nickname to 'Devil's Advocate'"?

Lucifer grinned with approval.

The Detective squinted at Ella. "What was it before?"

"...Nothing."

Dan paused at the door when the trio exited. The clear windows into the lab allowed an unhampered visual of what sat on the table. "Is that what I think it is?"

Chloe coughed. "If you think that it's an oversized dil-oversized dong that probably is one of two murder weapons, then yes."

Dan paled a little.

Her tall, dark partner nodded in agreement, "Quite well made. I have to find the artist and order one for myself. I imagine the waiting list is considerable. There tend to be ways around that sort of thing if you throw enough cash at what you want."

Ella blinked.

Chloe and Dan simultaneously turned to him with mirrored expressions of mild horror.

"What?"

She arched her eyebrows. "What exactly do you imagine you'll do with it? That thing in there is enormous!"

"Quite. Keep it on the bar upstairs, probably, unless they come in sizes that are fun."

"Waaaiit.." Ella squinted at him.

"That one is art."

"It's not actually a sex toy?"

Lucifer glanced back through the lab window and made a face. "I hope not. I mean, it could be, but I wouldn't find it pleasant. That thing probably weighs three kilos or more. Dan?"

Dan shook his head vigorously. "Uh. No.. no. very much not."

"And judging by your reaction, I'm assuming a firm 'no' from you too, D.A. No pun intended."

Chloe side-eyed him. Hard.

Dan wanted to ask about the new nickname.

He clapped his hands together once, sharply. "So it's settled. Mantlepiece it is. And maybe an eight or so incher for the bedroom?" Lucifer remained oblivious to Ella's array of expressions.

Chloe dragged Lucifer away by the elbow to a nearby hallway. Ella commented about updating the evidence sheet and hopped back into her lab. Dan stood awkwardly at the lab door.

"Could you maybe not publicly include Dan in bedroom toy discussions? Especially since we haven't actually, you know, included him yet?"

"I'm sorry, Detective, I've been under the impression the idea had been finalized if not actioned upon. Should I stop propositioning him?"

Chloe rested her forehead against his chest. "No. Just. I'd rather not everyone at work-" She took a second to rephrase. "Anyone else we work with know about the- thing we're talking about."

"So, you weren't serious before about me having office sex with Dan?"

She breathed in. For a long time. Dammit, he smelled good.

"Lucifer?"

"Yes?"

"Did you have office sex with Dan?"

"Not directly."

"Not directly."

"Well, we did exchange photos over text."

Chloe didn't ask. It did give her another thing to sort into an emotional box. She breathed out. Reached up and kissed Lucifer. "I'm not mad. Just, sorting things out in my brain, okay?"

Lucifer happily returned the kiss, lingering in the hallway for a moment. "Are you having reservations?"

"No. Yes. Always."

"Chloe?"

"Ever since Hot Tub, I second guess everything. The first few times Dan asked me to marry him, I said no. Dan and I never had a second kid, because I wasn't sure I could handle more than one. I would never have become an officer if I hadn't lost my dad. Hell, I never would have done Hot Tub if it weren't for my mom's history. Some days I feel like someone else's pinball game. You come along and challenge everything, ultimately for the better. You upend me." She shook her head. "Don't read too much into it."

She wrapped her arms around him, looking up into endless dark eyes.

"You make me second guess my habit of second guessing everything. I need more of this. Of you."

He pressed lips into the top of her head. She felt like some of his overflowing energy channeled into her on a connecting thread, as silly as that sounded. She smiled into his neck, pressing the side of her face into a bit of his magical prickly scruff.

"I'm always happy to provide more of me. Specifically to you."

This and his moments of sweetness made up for every obnoxious thing he ever said. Mostly. "Mmmm. You're even better than good coffee."

"Sacrilege!"

"Close second?"

As it turned out, Kenneth and Brent had the same address.

The partners checked what they had as Brent's apartment address, but he had moved six months previously and didn't update his driver's license. The landlord gave the forwarding address, which led to Ken's address.

For L.A. the place is enormous. Chloe forgot to ask Ella what either of the men did for a living. The home lived a little outside of the bustling center, away from major traffic. Decorative iron fencing with vines made a bit of space between the walk and windows.

A knock brought a smiling red-headed woman with curls to the door. "Hello?"

Chloe held up her badge, "Hi, I'm Detective Decker with LAPD, Do you know either Kenneth Amber or Brent Spiner?"

Her face fell. "Hi, come inside. I'm Claire, uhm. A recent roommate. I haven't heard from them since yesterday." She wore a cornflower blue crop top that brought out her eyes and showed off freckles on her chest.

Claire led them into the living room. Lucifer noted the plush white fur rug, the red leather couch. Chloe saw him lean through a nearby door. "Hang on. This place looks familiar." He squinted at Claire,

What now? "Claire, this is my partner and consultant, Lucifer. He can be a little nosy."

He looked up at the ceiling, pointing excitedly. "Is this the set of 'New York Sweets'?" Lucifer approached Claire. "Are you new? I don't recognize you."

She blushed, letting herself smile a little. "It is. Are you a subscriber? I mostly handle post-shoot editing right now."

"It's my favorite web show!"

Chloe looked between them, at the camera in the ceiling pointed down at the rug. "Okay, I'm going to regret this. Claire?"

"It's a series. One or more times a month, we have a live sex show. Next week, we'll shoot on that rug there with just Ken and Brent."

Chloe made a face. "Live?"

"Real-time. We set up multiple cameras so I can edit everything after for sales. It's by web subscription only, obviously, but you can buy the final files separately from the basic membership. It's pretty popular."

"Detective! You didn't tell me our murder victims were Tank and Yank."

Chloe willed herself to drop through the floor. It didn't work. "Claire?"

"They were murdered?" She got that 'processing' look. The one that tended to be a dead giveaway that she lied. "Who.. what? When?"

Lucifer nodded. "The 'how' is the really interesting part. Well, for Tank."

"Lucifer, knock it off! Sorry, Claire. They were your friends and roommates?"

She shook herself. "I.. they were my employers. They would introduce me in a couple of episodes. They said I did well in the off-camera practice round."

Her partner patted her shoulder. "I'm sure you were excellent, dear."

Chloe swallowed. "They have tryouts for this kind of thing?"

"Sure. Our subscribers are demanding and particular. Everyone works hard not to disappoint them." She sniffed back tears, wiping her nose on her top.

Lucifer stepped up and offered his pocket square. She took it with an apologetic look and blew her nose on it.

Chloe softened, "When did you see Brent and Kenneth last?"

"Breakfast yesterday? They talked about doing an outdoor shoot, but it'd be tricky. We put effort into not revealing our real location, and well, local laws frown on some kinds of outdoor sex."

"Did one of them have a girlfriend? Short blonde hair? Petite?"

"Rachel? Yeah. The three of them were, uhm. Poly. Why?"

Lucifer missed a significant look Chloe gave him.