So, I might have mentioned I'm not censoring this anymore, it's more smut than plot, so yeah. Lots of smut. This chapter would be a lot shorter otherwise. Feel free to follow me on Ao3 for regular updates, because I forgot I was posting this here too. Same name, FluffyGlitterPantsDragon. 3

Chloe found herself in the supply closet.

With Dan.

Again.

Lucifer had taken the claw and left. Maybe to turn it over to Maze. Maybe just to get it out of the precinct. Either way, the action left Ella confused and everyone else irritated, and he wasn't answering his cell. Chloe convinced Ella not to say anything about it yet - Lucifer was being Lucifer, and probably had a wild hair up his ass of an idea for the object.

Daily casework and avoiding Pierce carried them through well past lunch.

The evidence room had surveillance cameras, the break room wasn't private but somehow no one ever bothered anyone in the closet, which had a recent delivery leaving them sitting next to each other on packed cardboard boxes.

If someone had told her on their wedding day that ten plus years later she'd have a child, be recently divorced and in love or lust with the Devil...yeah.

Not that he hadn't told her, told everyone, before. That wasn't the conversation she wanted to have with her ex. Sort of ex. Damn Lucifer and his supernatural sex drive.

God.

She fiddled with a loose piece of tape on a box. "How did you find out?"

Dan winced, his neck twitching. "It really was an accident. We...ran with his, um, 'sexy pillow fight' question and your 'fine' as an agreement to do...stuff."

She rolled her eyes. "That was as clear as I was willing to be with everything that happened with Trixie that day. I mean, that was the original idea."

"Thanks?"

"But, what happened?"

Dan blushed and scratched the back of his head. "He accidentally whacked me in the face with, uhm, a wing."

"...how?"

"He was dead asleep and I guess they just…" Dan illustrated with the unfortunate double hand gesture he invented of flapping hands.

Chloe frowned. "Dead asleep? I think the only time I've woken up and he was still in bed was - what was it, yesterday? Usually, he just comes to bed with me, but gets up again."

"Yeah? I woke up and they were just out. I mean, if that happened often, I assumed I wouldn't have been the first one to notice giant fucking wings."

"Did he freak out?"

"He didn't wake up until I had an allergic reaction to feathers. Or I maybe I just sneeze when feathers get shoved into my face. Haven't tested the theory yet. After being pissy, his second reaction was worry he'd broken me or scared me shitless."

"Oh…Are you saying the only reason I didn't see them first was that I didn't wear him out?"

"What? No. We didn't even, uhm." Dan felt his face heat up.

She looked curious. "What?"

"Do you watch male-uh?"

She pressed her lips together, amused. "You know how old we are. I know how gay sex usually works. And yeah, Lucifer's seen my playlists. And hasn't let me forget he has either."

"Apparently, I'm not a bottom."

"What does that have to do with-oh."

"I didn't wear him out, unless he gets off on that. Which, who knows, maybe?"

Chloe bit her lip. "Well, he did ask me to peg him. I've never really been into ass stuff myself."

Dan's face was beet red. "Our attempt didn't go well."

She laughed, but not at him. "I didn't blame you, by the way, for me not being into it. Maybe we should have done more research first. And then Trixie came along not long after and the amount of sex we had after that went downhill fast. So time became a problem."

He bit his lip. "That and a lack of lube. Which, it turns out, you need a lot of."

"Something that isn't covered nearly enough in porn." She licked her lips, pulling back her ponytail. "Would you have wanted to try again, with me?"

"It turns out it's, uhm, fun. So yeah?"

"How's it different? From-?" She gestured vaguely at herself as if he wasn't intimately familiar with her bits.

"Er. There's no. Uhm. End of the line."

"How's that?"

The red color hadn't faded much. "I don't, uhm. No cervix?"

She blinked. "Oh. Ooohhh. I mean, you didn't hit it that often?"

"Yeah, because I couldn't just go deep, at least in missionary. The handful of times I did, it pretty much put the brakes on sex, since bruising you isn't fun for either of us."

That made her grin. "I had no idea." Talking about their previous sex life got a little easier. She really hadn't known he was restraining himself for her benefit. "Yeah. Lucifer doesn't though, and he's, well. Uhm."

Dan helped her out. "Hung? Yeah. That might have something to do with why I haven't let him near my ass either. Also, the Devil. So he probably has a little more experience than I do when it comes to sex, historically. You know, maybe." He added the last with a raised eyebrow.

"I don't think we ever even had the 'how many partners' conversation before we got married, did we?"

"Spoiler alert. Not as many as I bragged about. None who were interested in anything particularly porny."

Chloe smirked. "I had plenty of guys who wanted to do porny things, and actual porn, after Hot Tub High School. Kinda turned me off of trying anything new for a good long while, actually."

"We haven't talked about Lucifer since the thing with the-"

"I swear to God, Dan, if you flap your hands again, I'm going to punch you."

"Well?"

He had a point. The weekend passed in a whirlwind and this wasn't the kind of thing that could be put off for any real length of time. She swallowed, her voice low. "I don't know. Lucifer is just so, well, him. But he's immortal, Dan. I don't know what that really makes either of us. I know I'm still not ready to think about it too hard."

"Either Hell has huge problems, or Lucifer really is retired and someone else is running it? I mean, we aren't active participants in 'End Times'?"

"What?"

"Dan and Chloe. Ex-husband and wife. Two of the four horsemen of the apocalypse."

"That's not funny, Dan."

"It's kind of funny."

Her lips quirked. "It's only funny if it's not true. God, it better not be. Plus, that makes us short at least two other horsemen."

"I can't even ride a horse. Also, Lucifer has judgey opinions on Revelations."

She tried out a joke. "Well, maybe it should all be horsewomen. Me, Linda, Ella and Charlotte."

"Oh, right. Uhm, about-. Actually, I'll tell you later."

She sighed. Hopefully whatever this was about the other women would keep. "You up for hunting Lucifer? At least he doesn't have many hangouts."

Dan rapped on the elevator door frame. "Luce?"

Lucifer was not present.

Given the circumstances, Chloe skipped calling Maze and went straight to Trixie's best friend's mom. She was happy to pick up Trix after school along with her own kid and keep her for an 'overnight stakeout'. Just in case.

Chloe dialed his phone again, just to see if he left it in the penthouse. "So, he has his phone, doesn't want to talk. Wanna raid the bar and hang around in the jacuzzi?"

"Are we not slightly worried about him?"

"He's Lucifer, and now that I know what that actually means, all I have to do is decide how upset I am at him not answering his phone. So no, we aren't worried about him."

"But we are upset at him?"

Chloe went under the bar for her personal wine stash. Dan watched her come up with a red. "Uh oh. We are upset with him, huh?"

"What makes you say that?"

"A cheap, sweet red Lucifer would never admit to keeping in stock?" He knew her habits well enough to know what that meant.

She dropped the bottle on the bar with a thunk then snagged a wine glass. "Want some?"

"How in the name of God did you get him to let you keep screw top wine up here?"

Chloe licked her lips and grabbed a second glass. "You are so drinking with me."

Dan 'relaxed' in the Jacuzzi, marveling a little at how much of his time he was spending in Lucifer's place shirtless. Also, once again borrowing from Lucifer's wardrobe for swim trunks.

The sunset behind them turned the patio rose and orange. The stunning view could get easy to get used to. How did he get involved in this again?

Chloe had on a black designer bikini with tiny gold beads-doubtless a Lucifer gift-but she kept messing with the strings as if she were about to pull a 'Lucifer' and shed it. Also, it turns out there are such things as designer bikinis. And fuck if she didn't still look like she did on their honeymoon. Yay for concealing spa bubbles.

The dregs of her second glass of wine slid down her throat. She gestured with the empty vessel. "You would think now that we know, he'd clue us in on whatever the hell this is." The end of her ponytail trailed in the water, a few strands sticking to her neck.

Dan sipped on his first glass, but kept it out of Chloe's grabby fingers. "Maze is demon-hunting. It's a little out of the jurisdiction of the LAPD. I mean, I guess I can hope Pierce goes after her." and dies, 'But we don't want our own co-workers going after her, right?"

She eyed his glass. "Yeah, no, you're right. But, there's one missing demon on the loose. That we know about. How often does this happen? My mother was in a movie in the 80's about demons, Dan."

"I remember you showing me most of her films. I'm not sure I could pick that one out of a line-up, though."

"What if it was a true story? They put that line, 'Based on a true story' in front of movies all the time. How many of those aren't lies? Oh my God. You know how John Travolta is like, in nine movies about angels? I hate John Travolta. What if he's an angel too?"

"I'm sure he's not." I hope he's not.

"Ugh. At least we know Al Pacino isn't Satan."

Dan cradled his glass, sinking a little into the water. "Does he have a favorite, uhm, 'Satan'?"

"Probably. I either wasn't paying attention because I thought he was making it up at the time or something."

"Or something?"

"I might have been staring at his pants at the time. Which, by the way, are not pants in England. They're trousers." She was doing that angry nod thing again, pointing a finger in the general direction of the piano. "And he's not even British."

Chloe lunged for Dan's wine glass. He held it away and she wound up draped over his chest, waving an arm ineffectually at his held-out grip with her knees far too close to his groin. He suddenly felt like he'd made a mistake keeping the glass from her. "Okay, Chlo', there's a reason you have to get up and go back to the bar for a refill."

She purred into his neck, adjusting her body, "You could go for me."

Damn, she's still a lightweight. "Sure, but what do I get out of it by getting up? I at least get to look at your ass when you go for a refill." Dan leaned away, angling to protect his drink and gulping down the rest of it.

When he turned back, she straddled his lap, settling her knees on the seating. And now she was sitting against his half-mast. Her eyes widened and she smiled.

He swallowed. "'Chlo?"

"You know how we never had break up sex?"

"Is that a thing?"

Chloe kissed him. She grabbed at strings on her suit, one-handed, throwing her other hand behind his head. He had about three seconds of enjoying the spontaneous kiss before remembering where he was and how much she'd had to drink on an empty stomach.

He pulled back. "Hey. Not that I'm not appreciating the view, but maybe we should wait until Lucifer gets back and you're a little less tipsy?"

"God."

"Wrong deity. Am I interrupting?" Lucifer himself appeared, a bemused, and thankfully not jealous, expression on his face.

Chloe rose up on her knees, giving Dan a close view of her dripping, clinging outfit. She jabbed a finger at him. "You're interrupting my sanity. Where have you been since whenever it was?"

Dan turned, looking back and up. "Help?"

"Whatever for?"

Lucifer relented at Dan's quiet desperation, kicking off his shoes and pulling off his socks.

Dan was adorable when he got panicky.

"You are in my tub. Might as well join the party." Lucifer slipped off his jacket. Chloe propped her arms up on Dan's shoulders, deliberately or accidentally forgetting where she was, her breasts quite close to his face.

Clothes were quickly discarded. Lucifer dropped himself, naked, next to Dan, who was performing an impressive example of a deer in headlights.

Chloe leaned over to kiss him. Lucifer wrinkled his nose, holding up a finger. "You're drunk, detective."

"Am not." Her hand sipped on the plastic surface of the bench and she dunked herself, sending waves splashing over the edge of the hot tub. She came up sputtering with a gasp, hair plastered to her face. Chloe glared, sitting herself opposite with a huff. "'S your fault anyway."

Lucifer cocked his head, bird-like. "How so?"

"You aren't even British!"

He blinked. "Well, no. Is that a problem?"

Danger, Will Robinson. Dan stood, moving to block her line of sight. "Hey, Chlo' how about we get you out of the tub before you drink the whole thing?"

Lucifer's hand slid up his thigh.

Jesus Christ. Dan ignored him - for now - "C'mon."

She sighed dramatically, but stood. Lucifer, finally noticing how drunk she was, climbed back up with a put-upon groan. The Devil didn't miss the opportunity to squeeze Dan's ass, moving to pick up Chloe. She made a face but threw her arms around his neck anyway. Sure-footed, he stepped out, depositing her on a pool chair. "How are you feeling, love?"

Dan picked up a towel on his own way out, offering it to Chloe. She grunted, scrubbing her hair with it. "'M hungry." Angry/horny/peckish appeared to be somewhat related in Chloe's drunk brain, as she eyed his nude hips.

Not that they weren't nice to look at.

Lucifer cocked an eyebrow. "If it's for sex, my dear, you have to wait until you're at least a bit more sober."

"But you're my boyfriend Devil." She pouted.

"And I still will be in an hour or so. Until then, well, one of you is coherent." He threw a lascivious look back at Dan.

She perked up. "Oh! Do Dan!"

"Quite." He kissed her forehead. "Would you like to change?"

She looked down at her bikini for several seconds longer than the choice required. "Yup."

Chloe, just in a towel now, dropped off into a boozy nap in a nearby chair. She had looked interested in a show until the rest of the wine caught up with her.

Dan's self-consciousness ended with Lucifer's warm hands on his hips, tugging at the cold, wet, clinging trunks.

Wide, warm, eager lips played with his neck as if for the first time all over again. Dan felt the smile in them, heat and breath below his ear, teasing his pulse point on his neck. The trunks made a wet slap on the floor by the bed.

God. No wonder like 80 people came into the precinct that time. Jesus.

Lucifer didn't just enjoy sex. He ate it, breathed it.

Shared it.

Long fingers snaked their way under his ass, gripping him tight,, pressing them together, hard and hot against each other between their hips.

Somehow he was on his back, breathing hard, grasping Lucifer's neck and lower back. At some point, he'd stopped defining Lucifer as 'male' to avoid any mental speed bumps on his side and just jumped to 'holy shit that feels good'.

Lucifer kneed his thighs apart and ground his needy erection into his. Dan reached blindly in the general direction of the lube drawer. "Fuck."

Lucifer pushed up on his hands, framing Dan with lean arms and spread fingers. "Mmmm. Fuck what? Interested in something different?"

Dan spared a glance down their bodies where skin met in shadows. Lucifer moved, giving Dan a better view, releasing pressure. A low noise of want crawled out of his throat.

The Devil smiled. "I promise you'll enjoy having me in you. Takes a bit of workup for a virgin, though."

Dan traced ribs above him. "It's weird? At first?"

Lucifer descended, playing his cock under Dan, experimentally dragging it lower. And lower.

He felt himself tighten.

Around a deep kiss, between breaths, Lucifer's voice dropped. "You do want it, don't you? I can do lovely things, you know." Lucifer held himself up with one hand, snaking the other to join under Dan.

Dan swallowed. "Slow, right?"

"Daniel, may I use my devilish lips on you?"

"On my…?"

"Trust me."

Well, he hasn't lied about anything else up until now. "...Okay, for now."

Lucifer smiled like he had permission to raid a candy shop. "Splendid. Ankles up."

"Huh?"

Lucifer barely did him the courtesy of licking his dick before mouthing over his balls and sliding...lower.

Dan inartfully arranged his knees as a hot, wet tongue explored places he didn't think he'd ever consider sexual. He didn't relax until it became clear Lucifer was taking his time, not pushing. Dan let his jaw release tension he didn't know he was holding.

Lucifer propped Dan's hips up a little further, prodding gently, but not intruding.

The sensation was unexpected.

Obviously any number of people liked having things inserted in various places, but Dan never quite got why.

He felt like that might change.

Maybe.

It was still just mostly wet and - oh, there's a finger.

Outside of the occasional prostate exam, which were not pleasant, Dan hadn't had anything going the other direction before now.

Lucifer waited, teasing Dan's perineum with his tongue, just barely pressing a fingertip in, then away, then a light rimming with two fingers.

Dan tensed with each addition until he didn't. He was aware of a drawer opening and closing, a pop of a cap. Lucifer returned his mouth lower while he did something else with a bottle.

He felt warm lips being dragged up his dick,scruff prickling pleasantly, bringing up goosebumps and shivers. He wanted to touch something. Only Lucifer's legs were within reach, so he smoothed his hands over warm skin and hard muscle.

Lube coated fingers found that place again. Lucifer leaned up on his knees, hard cock erect, one hand on Dan's knee, the other carefully applying pressure. "Tell me, Daniel, do you want me to ride you? Make me come in you as you've done me?"

Dan gripped sheets. "God yes."

"Oh come now. If I don't break you of that habit soon, I'll have to dole out appropriate punishments for it. Corporal, of course ," The fingertip had pressed in past the knuckle without Dan realizing it. A second finger, just outside, found a lower pulse point he didn't know he had.

He tried to relax. "Sorry."

"I do hope you find something better to call out when I'm buried in you to my balls."

Dan inhaled, his cock twitching in the suddenly too cold air on his overheated body, and his ass pulled on Lucifer's single digit of its own accord.

"See? Your body has the right idea." Lucifer picked up a little more lube, grasping Dan's hardness with his free, slick, hand. It was suddenly much easier to associate pleasure with what was going on lower. The second fingertip eased past to join the first, "before long, you'll be able to take me nearly straight away."

Jesus. God. Lucifer. Fuck.

Dan groaned and fell back, tension ebbing and flowing down his body, overly aware of the cooling liquids that slid back his ass and dripped off his body. "Are you going to fuck me at some point tonight or just talk me to death?"

"Oh, you won't be able to move before morning, certainly. But you aren't quite ready for me. I'm larger than this. And I won't have you ruined for it."

Lucifer edged the end of his dick near the fingers, and Dan could easily feel the difference.

The Devil slowly pumped his two inserted digits, curling them slightly. Shit, he was right. The slipping back and forth made a whole new sensation, one that was slightly panic inducing, since nothing was supposed to come out of his ass while lying down. Or really, anywhere other than a bathroom.

Lucifer distracted Dan with a firm grasp around his cock, reminding his body this was a good thing. Dan dry swallowed, letting Lucifer lead again, trusting him. Returning to full hardness that had waned a little just then.

Lucifer purred. "There we are. Better?"

He nodded. It was better. Edging back into 'enjoyable'.

Lucifer let a few more moments and motions go before he lined up again. "Ideally, we end up with your legs resting on my shoulders, but I doubt we want to do that much our first go, alright?" He carefully withdrew this fingers, replacing them with his tip just pressing there. New heat rushed in, flooding up his chest.

Christ. Whatever.

Chloe apparently spurred herself out of her doze - some weight dipped into the end of the mattress. She had dropped her towel, loose blonde hair clinging to and around her breasts. She was just at the end, knees on the floor, one hand hidden from view below the edge of the bed but making suggestive motions.

Dan realized he was tense again. Lucifer rested patiently, waiting for something in Dan's face.

Unhurried.

Nonjudgmental.

Dan looked up into Lucifer's patient dark eyes and something unwound. Something slipped in, resting on his fast pulse pressing around him. Lucifer bent down to kiss his neck, the motion making him flex gently. He balanced in complete control, a firm hand distracting from discomfort below with smooth strokes. The long, lean body arched over him, protective.

Dan attempted to pull at the man over him to draw him in, but Lucifer resisted, rock-solid. "You're doing very well, Detective, but I'm not entirely hard. One of the many perks of being me. Complete muscle control." He emphasized the last three words with proof, his cock throbbing in Dan's entrance,

Fucking hell.

He felt each expansion intimately, in every sense of the word.

Lucifer inched in, a little past the throbbing. Dan tried to lean up, but lips evaded him. He grumbled, but Lucifer pulled back. "You don't want my mouth on yours right now, trust me." He applied it elsewhere though.

Dan's attention wavered between the things happening to him, under Lucifer's careful ministrations. The heat of devilish hips slipped closer, trying a slight rocking motion. Dan groaned against the playful lips on his neck, lost.

Lucifer's thumb and fingers chased across his tip, his grip gaining purposeful strokes.

"Lucifer."

"Mmmmmmm, yes, darling?"

Dan's breath hitched, feeling the deep rumble of words and vocal chords on his neck. Lucifer's prickly scruff rubbed at an ear and Dan gripped short black curls. "Fuck me."

Lucifer growled low. "Keep doing that."

Wordlessly, Dan tangled his fingers into the mess of Lucifer's hair escaping the strict routine of product, pulling in a way he worried would hurt. The Devil just sucked hard on his neck, a low, pleased, sound curling out of him that thrummed all the way down his body.

Lucifer bit his shoulder, pulling himself up Dan's body, hips finally meeting hips. He held himself there for a moment, giving Dan a second or two longer to get used to the fullness.

Dan felt sweat stand out on him, between them.

He was close.

Lucifer rocked against him. He heard something happen next to him, with a British, "why, how thoughtful!" Wet sounds, a kiss and Lucifer bent back down, finding Dan's face with cleaned lips and that wicked grin.

This was much better.

He was gone. Everything was motion and sweat and deep, deep beating pulses that echoed from tongue to ass.

Jesus. No wonder he liked this.

The imagery of the penthouse mid-orgy suddenly became more clear.

Fuck.

Lucifer leaned up, stroking him until pressure and tightness clenched deep in his core, escaping and spilling over the sliding grip. The Devil adjusted his hips, just slightly, and his cock found Dan's prostate, shocking him into an unexpected, extended orgasm.

Hips slowed and Lucifer, still hard, pulled back a bit. Dan held him. "Where do you think you're going?"

"You feeling up for me finishing, then?" He let Dan pull him back down, settling his weight. "Tell me if you decide you're not?" Liquids pooled between them, sticky and hot.

"Shut up."

Lucifer did that full body rumble thing again, scratching Dan's neck with his face. Both hands free, he slid them behind Dan's neck and head, body, and hips contracting with each short thrust. Dan gripped hair again, threading and knotting, his muscles tensed tight,

The Devil came, with a low, lusty, "Daniel." And hot release.