Lucifer can tell when a day promises to be good.
Right now for example, morning light is creeping in, the spawn is nearby but not present and there's at least one spare full suit in the closet. And that it won't clash with what he wore yesterday. Having to trash the old one due to Hell exposure isn't exactly a new problem, but it's aggravating when it happens. Hell has no appreciation for design. Or anything else, really.
And he's waking up in a pile of warm, naked detectives.
You really need six for a decent 'pile', but this was quite fun too. Better even, now that they both were less nervous waking up near each other. Honestly, you'd think they hadn't seen each other naked multiple times over any number of years. People picked the weirdest things to get squicky over.
He made a mental note to find out when their original anniversary was. Humans liked that sort of thing, he knew.
There is, however, a downside of waking up first. Near his left ear, a sawmill appeared to be processing wet wood. Lucifer considered yanking out a few feathers and stuffing some in his ears, but it would require wing deployment, which wasn't an option. He should ask Daniel how he put up with it in the past; clearly, he was having no trouble at the moment, sleeping like a log.
A warm, enticing log.
Hmmm. He touched strongly defined arm muscles on one side of his body and a curved waist on the other. Chloe was turned away too, her soft, round butt pressed into his hips, but nothing else touching him. The rest of her curled almost off the side of the bed, one foot out in mid-air, the blankets pushed down around their knees.
They really need a larger bed here.
A light knock tapped politely on the other side of the door. "Moooooooom? Did you forget your alarm?"
Lucifer jerked silently in mild panic, glancing at the parents like one of them would sleepwalk and deal with the problem. Chloe didn't always want the child to know when he was over.
Fortunately for him, said detective immediately shot bolt upright, lunging for the covers and dragging them over everyone. "Shi-oooooot! What time is it? Nevermind, I'm getting up!"
Interesting reflexes on the blanket grabbing and pulling. He sighed in relief.
Chloe ran her fingers through her hair, pulling it back over her shoulders and speaking to her offspring in a pitched tone that carried across the room. "Monkey? Hey, just give me a minute, okay? Don't come in! I'll be right out!"
There was a pause. "Mom. Are you naked?"
He grinned up at her, and she noticed he was awake. She gave him one of her exasperated looks, the one in particular that he found most adorable. He pinched her ass for good measure.
"Ah!" Glare. "-Uh, nope. Just. Uhm."
Lucifer tsked, lightly stroking her ass to make up for the pinch. "Lying to the child? Starting the day off with one of my least favorite sins?"
Chloe swatted him. Dan appeared to be in a coma-like state of deep sleep, face down in the pillow, undisturbed by the ruckus. Trixie, from the other side of the door, giggled. "Hi, Lucifer! I'll go get my breakfast."
He pulled her down for a kiss, which she gave him with an impatient smile, before pulling up again. "Crap. The living room!"
Trixie was already back, shoving the door open. "MOM! Something exploded!-"
Chloe leapt out of bed, crouching a bit and blocking the opening door with her body. She had the edge of the door in a death grip to keep it from swinging open further. "It's okay, I'm coming out, just give me a second? Nothing bad happened, Lucifer just made a huge mess, okay?"
Trixie peered at her through the opening, trying to look past her, unsuccessfully. "What the heck did he do?"
She winced. "He…uhm. Did something impulsive. It's okay now, it'll get it cleaned up before you get back home from school today, alright? Nothing to worry about."
Daniel yawn-snorted and pushed up deliciously against Lucifer's side, his back to him. He wiggled minutely, pressing the warm soles of his feet up against Lucifer's left calf.
Trixie squinted suspiciously at the odd sounds.
Chloe muttered something to her daughter in a rushed together squeak and shut the door in her face. She stood there a few seconds longer, leaning her forehead against the wall. It made for a lovely view of her backside, he thought.
He lazily drew patterns with his fingers on Daniel's hip under the blankets. "Why on earth are you worried about her seeing me naked but not you? She's going to be an adult fairly soon, you know." Daniel squirmed against him, not quite awake. His hand blindly grabbed Lucifer's and pulled it across his middle. The angle was a little awkward.
Without turning around, and not without a small groan, she spoke to the wall. "I'm her mother, Lucifer, we used to take baths together. Before you ask, no, it tends to be a mom-daughter thing or a father-son thing, so she hasn't bathed with Dan since she was too small to remember. She doesn't need to see you naked. Ever. I don't care how old she gets. And thanks for reminding me my little girl is growing up and that I'll probably have to buy her freaking tampons and a training bra in a year or two."
He smiled. "You're welcome."
"Arrrggg."
Daniel reached back again, patting for more blanket, and found something else. He stirred, much more awake now, palming Lucifer under the covers.
A very good way to wake up indeed. He reflexively arched against Daniel's hand.
Chloe eyed them for one deliciously considering second. Lucifer tried giving her one of his best sexy looks, but she sighed and broke up any potential party in the making, pointing out that some people had work to get to. On time, this time, reminding him quietly that sex was not a valid excuse to be late.
It a was valid excuse in his book. Just ask anyone working for him. Maybe he should write that book, or have it written. Daniel unreasonably tugged a pillow over his head when asked his opinion on a such a book.
Chloe rolled her eyes and hunted for a relatively fresh bra. Lucifer enjoyed the view until she yanked the blankets back off them both and told them to get moving. She inexplicably added something about mothering more children than she gave birth to.
His remaining bed partner stretched, now fully awake and rolling over to pin Lucifer with a kiss, who happily encouraged it. Daniel's arm went around his waist, pulling tight. "Five more minutes, mom?"
Chloe nailed Dan in the face with a throw pillow.
Lucifer helpfully commented, "oh, that's why they're called that!"
She hoisted another. "Get up!"
Lucifer propped his long legs up on a chair next to Chloe's desk, waiting to be useful, carefully nibbling a croissant from the break room.
Chloe and Dan went about their jobs, attending a morning meeting that officers and detectives together populated next to Cain's office. The two ended up standing next to each other, unintentionally if he was any good at reading body language. He wasn't but it was something he was working on.
He watched, their backs to him, heads tilted together at first, discussing something or other. Five minutes into the meeting, they stood up straighter. Attentive. Chloe asked Cain something that must have been related to a case, as her posture was stiff and she was taking notes. Daniel stood back against a far wall, working his jaw slightly, but beyond that, Lucifer couldn't read him. Across the bullpen, Cain drilled Lucifer with a look that probably was pointed but he couldn't pin what it was in reference to.
He shrugged to himself, noting Ella's late entrance. She trudged in, holding a loose paper mask up to her face. Lucifer, despite his supernatural immunities, avoided all things disgusting. Well, most things disgusting. His concern for his bevy of favorite coworkers, and her proximity, urged him out of his chair. "Ms. Lopez? Are you feeling alright?"
She clenched the mask, pulling it a little away from herself to speak. "Just a little weird. Kinda feverish? But not really? Something has been creeping up on me for a few days. Hopefully it's not the flu. But I've never had a cold before that made me want to go shopping for-" She blinked, changing the subject, "uh!-How are you? You look good."
He felt his face pinch slightly, ignoring that she cut herself off. "I might owe the Detective a new living room set, but other than that, I'm having a lovely morning."
He popped another piece of bread into his mouth, and she watched him intently, licking her lips. Her eyebrows crawled upwards, her cheeks a little blushed from the indicated fever. "Uhm. Chloe's furniture? Did you...break something this morning?"
"No, I accidentally got Hell-ash on everything late last night. It probably settled into the couch cushions by now, though the cleaners should be there soon. What did you think I did?" Lucifer took a step closer. She smelled different than what he was used to - oh hello, aroused?
She pulled her shirt out a little, flapping it. "Oh! Uhm. You've never broken furniture before? Doing things? You seem like you would have broken a bed frame or two at some point in your life."
"Things? You mean sex, of course. Oh, yes, certainly. Not in the last few hundred years. Beds are a lot sturdier these days. Mine's reinforced, just in case, but it hasn't really been an issue. That said, I avoid IKEA - nothing stops a good orgy in its tracks quite like the cracking crash of an ill-fabricated chair."
Ella unlocked her lab, nodding at him to follow her inside. "Hey, listen, I need to talk to you about the evidence you grabbed from the lab. Did you bring it back?"
"I couldn't let that languish here, it's not coming back, sorry, not sorry." And it's not safe in human hands, in any case.
She growled. "Lucifer! You can't just take things that have already been cataloged! I need that back for the murder case. Or cases, depending on what actually happened. That was lodged in the sexy murder weapon! And I still don't know why!" She unloaded her shoulder bag, slapping light switches on as she moved.
"Well, unfortunately, those murders appear to be Hellish in origin. Maze is taking care of the problem, so there should not be any further deaths. The creature shouldn't have gotten out of Hell in the first place, but-"
Ella grumbled under her breath, circling her table and stalking back up to face him. "Lucifer, seriously, sometimes, I just want to…"
"Yes, darling?" He popped another piece of croissant into his mouth, chewing. He licked his thumb, flicking a crumb off his face. Her eyes followed his fingers, his mouth, hungry. She came up very close to him, raising her hands up in a claw-like motion. "Ella?"
She leapt at him, growling. Her usual hug-attack turned into something more interesting when she kissed him soundly, standing on her toes to do it. Her eyes flashed, shining and a bit unfocused. She tangled her hand in the hair on the back of his head, pulling him down to her level with unusual strength.
For a split second, he was back in his club, months ago, locking lips with whomever he pleased. Ella's body, however, was too warm, her lips flushed and her face feverish. He attempted to disengage, but her arms around his neck were tight, locked. He muttered her name in protest against her lips to get her attention, but she used the chance to kiss him deeply, opening her mouth and digging into his with her hot tongue.
It wasn't the least sexy kiss of his life, but it broke the top ten list, which was saying something.
A sharp rap on the door announced Chloe, who rushed in a second later, "What on earth are you two doing?"
Lucifer attempted to convey with his eyes that this wasn't his idea, since pulling away didn't seem to be a viable option. He grunted.
It didn't seem to be working for the first second or two, then Chloe's eyes widened and she pulled on Ella when she didn't even try to unplaster herself from Lucifer. If anything, she grew more determined and slid one hand low down his back, dragging her fingernails down his spine. "Ella, honey, seriously, you need to breathe."
Which gave Lucifer the idea to reach up and pinch her nose when she flat-out ignored Chloe hanging off her. A few seconds later, her eyes flew open and she dropped down with a snort as he let go of her face. "What?" Ella looked between the two of them, stepping back. "Oh, my God, did I just mouth rape you, Lucifer? I don't know what happened, I'm so sorry!"
She was fanning herself absently, her face and neck still flushed and red. Lucifer brushed himself off, idly wondering if the pastries were contaminated somehow. "Darling, I'm well used to humans throwing themselves at me, but you don't look quite right, Ms. Lopez."
Chloe mostly gently shoved her down into a chair and pulled her chin up to look in her eyes. Her pupils were blown wide and her skin was dry. "Something's off but I don't think I've heard of any flu doing something like this. She's got a fever though. Lucifer, see if you can find a thermometer, Ella should have a few kinds in here."
She tapped a quick text to Dan, who had remained in the meeting. He must have missed the commotion.
Ella looked woozy but more focused than she was a moment ago. Her blushing wasn't due only to fever. "I'm sorry Lucifer."
He patted her on the head to show there were no hard feelings on his part, then turned to do as the Detective instructed. Ella pulled his arm down and hugged it against herself, nuzzling it. He didn't object to the cuddling, exactly, but she still wasn't in her right mind.
Chloe rolled her eyes. "Fine, you watch her, I'll probably have better luck finding a thermometer anyway." She did locate one quickly - a laser scanner that didn't require getting too close to Ella's mouth or any other orifice. She frowned over the display. "Yup. Fever. Good thing you can't get sick, Feathers."
Lucifer made a face at her and tugged his arm out of Ella's grasp. "I don't think it's microbes, detective. And we need to have a discussion about pet names." Or tried to, since she held tightly to his arm.
"Was she like this when she came in? She seemed okay yesterday."
He thought back. "She might have been a little flushed yesterday too, but I wasn't watching for that sort of thing. It's certainly not odd for humans to be turned on around me, but this is different for Ella."
Chloe arched an eyebrow. "Ella, were you trying to have sex with Lucifer?"
Their scientist blinked, her face still against his arm. "Mmmmmm. I've been wanting to try that. He's so yummy."
"Well...I mean, he is. What could this be if not some bizarre strain of the flu?"
"Something supernatural." He pulled her hands off him by the wrists, finally, turning them over in his much larger ones, looking over her arms and wrists. "Would you help me check her for scratches?"
Ella's eyes came up, her face grimacing but clearing up for a second. "My finger. The claw thing pricked me through my glove." Her eyes refocused on his neck where his shirt rested open at the collar. She growled.
He missed her gaze, focused on her hands. He found it, barely a needle prick on her index finger, swollen around the small wound, like a tick or spider bite. "Good thing it's not worse than that. You didn't jump any strangers on the way in, did you, Ella?"
She cleared her throat, wrenching her eyes down to his hands. "Nooooo...No. I didn't. It's, uhm, just you. I think. But thinking of you and Dan together-" She closed her mouth, blushing furiously. "What did I just say?"
Chloe tapped her foot. "Luce, I take it you know what's going on?"
"The demoness that Maze is tracking, Namaah, she and I have history."
"I imagine the whole world has history with you. Should we leave Ella alone? Take her back to her place? Or a hospital?"
"Maze is busy. A doctor might be able to deal with some of her symptoms, but not all of them. She needs the taint flushed from her body, and it's been in there a few days now."
She bit her lip. "Is that something you can do? Does it require anything...weird?"
"I'll have to touch her with my wings. I'm not sure how long it'll take, but it shouldn't be long. I need a place to do it. Here is out of the question. If Amenadiel had his wings, he could do it instead."
"Oh, okay, that's not terrible." Chloe looked oddly relieved for the revelation Ella would 'only' have to be wrapped up in angel wings.
"What did you think I meant?"
"I mean, with you, the options are, well." She gestured up and down his body.
His tone edged into annoyance. "Detective, I assure you I would find some other way. Purging her of this won't involve putting something else into her, and if it needs be, I'd still find some other method, as she's in no condition to consent to such a thing. Namaah is a lust demon. Consent isn't...well, let's just say demons aren't my creation. With most of them, 'soulless' means more than simply not having one. I got lucky with Maze."
Ella blinked several times. "This is way more method acting than I am able to deal with right now."
Chloe bit her lip. "I don't suppose she could be asleep for the wing thing?"
Why is nothing ever simple? "If you or Daniel could drop her off at my flat, we can deal with her tonight. It's already been a few days, so waiting until after the workday shouldn't be a problem."
"Oh, right, you need to be groomed first, don't you?"
He made a face. "I need to be as free from Hell contamination as possible, yes."
Chloe squeezed Ella's shoulder. "Can't we, I dunno, try to reach one of your brothers or sisters? One who would be willing to help?"
"It'll take longer than just cleaning me up, likely. I'm more familiar with the demon in question, and I'm an archangel. Most of my brothers and sisters are not - the ones who are, are less reasonable than even Amenadiel. They wouldn't help."
"If we got someone else, you wouldn't have to leave work - I know that sounds like an odd thing to say, but Pierce is giving me serious creeps now and I can't seem to stop feeling weird about being around him, now that I know why."
Lucifer sighed. "Well, if she must be exposed to angel wings, she'll find out about the rest of my family sooner or later, I suppose." He petted Ella a bit more. "Michael's right out, as I said."
Chloe rubbed her face. "Who do you trust the most? Or hate the least?"
"There's Raph, a step above 'regular' angel but less powerful than I. Amenadiel is more or less human now, but he might know how to get a hold of him."
"You can't?"
"I can but I'd rather not."
Ella muttered something.
Chloe bent her head. "What's that, Ella?"
"How about my friend, Rae-Rae?"
"Who's that?"
Ella grabbed Lucifer's hand again, pressing it against her face. It burned alarmingly hot. The demonic poison seems to have accelerated over the last hour or so. She spoke softly, "good friend. Watches over me."
Lucifer and Chloe exchanged uncertain glances. She looked around to make sure everyone else was still in the meeting, lowering her voice and dropping into 'Mom' mode. "Honey, Lucifer says we need someone really good. I don't know who Rae-Rae is." She looked up to him over her head. "I think she's gotten worse."
"She has." He huffed. "Fine, I'll call Amenadiel now and get him-"
With a pop of air, a diminutive, short-haired woman appeared with a sound that Chloe could only register as 'angry flapping', who grabbed Ella, shot an angry look at Lucifer while fluffing black wings then vanished again.
Papers burst upward with her arrival and exit, drifting down again in a fluttering mess that definitely drew the attention of everyone in the meeting.
Lucifer blinked. "Well, that's one problem solved. I just have to find out where Azrael took Ella." He straightened, eyes shifting ever so slightly. "Nevermind, she's at Ella's place."
"How-?"
"Angels don't have to speak out loud to communicate, dear."
"Since you aren't running off right away, I'm going to assume that the scary woman who just kidnapped Ella isn't dangerous to her."
"She's the Angel of Death. I haven't seen her in centuries. Honestly, I didn't think she would want to talk to me after the Blade thing. Since I kind of deliberately threw it away."
Dan yanked the lab door open, looking baffled. "What just happened?"
Lucifer crossed his arms. "If you'd just come over with Chloe I wouldn't have to repeat myself. Azrael kidnapped Ella to save her."
"I dare you to make less sense."
Chloe started grabbing papers. "Your family doesn't do subtle, do they? Help me clean this up and we'll go. I'll find a witness to interview or something on the way back. And so help me, some work is going to get done today or one of you is getting strangled."
Lucifer gave her a grin. "Kinky."
Dan at least gave him a friendlier look than Chloe, bending to help her clean up. "Who is Azrael? Why does that sound familiar?"
Ella drowsily woke. The last several hours were a blur and she found herself in a sack. Or something. Inside a feather pillow? Things both soft-edged and pointed surrounded her, but the only feather pillows she's seen were goose-down, white and soft.
There wasn't much light wherever she was, but she could see enough to tell that these feathers were pitch-black, like a raven's.
The feathers covering her body were at odds with narrow arms around her waist, though she didn't feel like she was about to be eaten by a huge bird in any case.
An angel with an almost child face looked up as Lucifer entered Ella's apartment. Her wings ruffled in a possessive ripple that started from her shoulders and cascaded to the tips covering Ella.
Chloe stepped around from behind him and got growled at by an all-black cat. She crouched near Ella and Azrael, grabbing a cushion in the shape of the Millennium Falcon and holding it in her lap. Lucifer and the cat looked at each other. Out loud, he grumbled, "Salem wants me to feed him?"
Ella made a muffled reply under the wings. She could barely see through black, shining feathers. Azrael allowed her head to be exposed. "Aw, you paid attention to my cats' names! And no, don't feed him. He's being a dick." Her voice was sleepy and her eyes fell closed. What they could see of her looked comfortable, and her face was no longer flushed with fever.
"There's more of them here? And no, he told me he found the name you gave him to be acceptable so he uses it." He shut the door and glared at Salem. Staring at him, he said, "You seem awfully attached to your little human, Az."
A very familiar voice replied from behind her. "She thinks, or thought, that I am a ghost. She may not remember this. I was hoping I wouldn't have to intervene, but I'll be darned if I'm letting anyone else but you do this." She sounded adorably cross.
Ella craned her head back, trying to see a face. "Rae-Rae?"
Chloe nearly smiled, "You're...you're the angel of death?"
"Don't forget the capital letters, girly. I've got this handled, if you want to go."
Lucifer looked down his nose at the huddled mass of feathers and beings. And, apparently, another cat, he thought. "Would it have killed you to say hello?"
Chloe held her breath.
Azrael sighed. "No, I suppose not. I need to focus on Ella right now, okay? Can you please not let her get clawed by any more demon parts?"
"It wasn't my intention for it to happen in the first place." He finally, gingerly sat next to Chloe, tossing a Porg-shaped cat toy off the seat cushion. "Did you note anything of interest when those humans died? Did you see Naamah, by chance?"
"Sorry, no. If I had, I would have told you just now, or returned her to Hell myself. You could talk to those souls yourself, you know."
He glared. "No, I'd rather not. Mazikeen is out hunting her. It shouldn't take much longer. Shouldn't have taken this long to begin with, really."
Ella felt her eyes getting heavy again. She felt oddly okay with everything. She searched around inside herself, and didn't feel the urge to claw her way out of the wings and go after Lucifer again. "I'm sorry, Luc'fer."
If anything, he looked more distressed. "I promise you that I'm fine, please don't feel badly. I need to find out how she got out in the first place."
The warmth began to lull her to sleep, the small body under her comfortable and urging her to rest again. The last thing she made out clearly was Rae-Rae's voice, "ex-wives, am I right?"