Dan really wanted to know how his life got like this.

Unfortunately, pondering it had to wait. At least a few hours anyway.

Maze had tracked the demon down. Ella was with 'Azrael, the Angel of Death', and Lucifer had Hell-ash in his goddamn-fuck-whatever wings.

Someone spotted the murderess, or rather, the human form of the demon, out on a hiking trail in the woods, which meant several police officers and other civil servants were now out in the field, including him. Most of the civilians had been herded out, at least the ones they could find so far, but the park was a big place. At least they had daylight on their side.

Between the sun glaring overhead and the various eye-witnesses though, Maze couldn't get close enough to get her without being seen and therefore explain what she was doing out there. Lucifer was on his way and Chloe was spitting mad about something, according to his texts.

A pair of hikers rubbernecked near him by the side of the road overlooking the park. Dan waited for the Devil and Chloe in the parking lot closest to an entrance to a trail. When the hikers didn't appear to want to move on, he gestured at them. "Hey, split, this isn't television!"

The taller woman grumbled but obeyed, and they hoofed it back to their car. At least some people listened to him. Once they were out, the lot would be sufficiently closed to incoming traffic. One last well-known vehicle pulled through the entrance, which the hikers glared at.

The bone-deep rumble of the Corvette announced the arrival of the two as it pulled in. The pair of women watched it go by as they climbed into their car, Lucifer's hair lightly wafting in the open air. Chloe sat stiffly next to him, arms crossed and her hair up in a rough bun. They weren't looking at each other.

Now what?

Chloe jumped out before Lucifer could walk around and open her door, stalking up to Dan. Lucifer bore his 'someone is taking a thing entirely out of context and it's not my fault' expression.

Oh, God.

No, wait.

Lucifer followed her with long strides, his voice becoming clearer as they moved closer. "Darling, you have a significant ex yourself! And I'm more or less the only celestial being who doesn't lie. The rest do, or at least muck about with the truth."

Motherflunker.

Chloe growled over her shoulder. "An ex which you already knew about. Quite well, I might add."

Dan debated strongly on simply bolting into the woods to help with the search. One such group included Pierce, who loitered nearby as he gave instructions. Dan eyed Lucifer, who didn't seem to care he was still in a tight-fitting suit, about to presumably go trail hiking with them. "What's going on?"

She took in a deep breath, just remembering in time to look around for more people within earshot. "Nahma-"

Lucifer caught up. "Namaah."

She glared daggers at him, and Dan was infinitely happy it wasn't at him this time. "What about her? The demon that we're looking for?"

"She's Lucifer's ex-wife."

"His what now?"

The Devil huffed. "I told you, she's not an ex-wife, merely an ex-long-term consort. Azrael's comment was only meant to be inflammatory, presumably to get us out of her hair, which succeeded, by the way. One doesn't marry in Hell. In fact, sometimes throwing ex-spouses into the same cell for a period of time is extremely effective as punishment."

Dan allowed his mouth to work before his brain caught up. "How long were you together? Is that even the right word?"

He shrugged, trying to look casual about it. It failed. "A thousand years. Give or take."

His mouth went dry. "Give or take what?"

"A hundred years? In Hell? Which really is all relative, mind you. Hardly comparable."

Chloe growled. "Lucifer."

"Eight hundred sixty-four years, in total, in any way you want to count it. Then we had a bad argument and she left. I repeat, there are no nuptials in Hell, detectives. No bouquets were thrown, no cake was to be had at all, there wasn't even a courting period. Calling her my ex-anything is pure hyperbole. She's a lust demon! She just showed up one day and started fucking my brains out. She's quite good at it, you understand."

Fingers hid her face. "Lucifer. Can I or should I ask why she left?"

"Jealousy, naturally. She walked in on Mazikeen and I-"

Her face appeared, pale and reluctantly from behind her hands. "Wait, you cheated on your demon lover?"

He looked lost. "She had her own cadre of lovers, darling. She just liked me the most, with good reason. For a long time. Demons rarely have any kind of creativity in the bedroom, so to speak." He grinned. "This one time, I was hanging around in my throne room, in between petitioners, and she climbed up right on top of me, naked as you please-"

Dan asked, "Did she...have any reason to think you were uh, committed to her in particular? Why would she be jealous?"

"You didn't let me finish! Maze was one of my best torturers. Namaah wanted a job change, gave it a try but wasn't terribly good at it. She couldn't contain herself. Specific punishments require steady control and she didn't have it in her - lust demon and all, you understand. She had to be outright banned from those levels and confined to her regular ones. She thought she could use her position with me as a bargaining chip. She stepped over the line with that bit of attempted manipulation and was then permanently banned from my presence as well. I don't tolerate that sort of insubordination."

Chloe and Dan shared a look. Or three. She did that thing where she collects her thoughts, files them away for later and then schooled her face into her best 'goddammit I'm a cop' expression. It was one of Dan's favorite things about her - she could turn back into a professional on a dime, no matter what insanity was happening at the moment, and she didn't forget it later, merely saved it away for a better time. She looked hard at Lucifer. "Okay, fine, the past is the past and it sounds like it's going to stay that way. Is there anything we need to know about her, her habits or any special traits before we go into the woods? Anything the police or civilians should know? Can she change what she looks like? Wings or anything like that?"

"Don't let her touch you and definitely don't let her break your skin if she does. There's a reason demons usually can't get out of Hell by themselves. She had to have help doing so. Most demons don't have wings and the ones that do use them to get around inside Hell, not get out of it. When they do have them, they're pretty classically accurate - dragon or bat wings and used as weapons, much like mine can be."

"Okay, is there some reason she's not after you? What else would she want up here if not revenge or something?"

"She didn't seek me out because she knew I'd return her to Hell. She also needed to be close by for some reason, or she could have just gone to Alaska. Perhaps she wanted to be caught, eventually. Demons don't think the same way that humans do. She's more like the proverbial scorpion and the weasel or whatever it was crossing the river."

"Fox, I think. At least she hasn't murdered anyone else. That we know of, right?"

A new voice interjected, "who hasn't murdered anyone else?"

The three turned to regard Pierce, who snuck up on them, with varying expressions of unease. Lucifer unconsciously stepped between him and the detectives. Chloe was having none of it, shifting to stand next to him.

Pierce glanced at Dan, nastily bemused. "I guess I know now who the sub is. I can't say I'm surprised."

Dan flushed and reactively touched his collarbone where he knew one of many still sensitive love bites lived on his skin. He knew he was making a face, tried to immediately stop and realized he was just making the whole thing worse for himself. Then he remembered he was the one getting well and thoroughly laid, not Pierce, and let himself grin just a little. He shrugged. "It's not all whips and chains, you know." Sometimes it's just plain fun.

Lucifer, incapable of lying, weighed his options, answering the actual question. "My escaped demon. Surely you're aware the suspect isn't human."

Pierce squinted. "Can you not with the Devil antics right now? Is that why you're even out here today, because one of your demons is responsible, apparently?"

"The one demon barely listens to me as it is, what makes you think any of the rest of them are 'mine'? Most of them can't be reasoned with. Do you know how many I had to outright destroy when I got there? It was worse than Jurassic Park."

A flash of surprise crossed his face then he smoothed it. He spared Chloe a quick glance but locked back onto Lucifer, debating on just how much of that statement he wanted clarified. "But you're going to deal with it anyway? I assume you have some sort of plan when she's taken into custody by us when we find her first. Any Satanic cult-y recommendations for dealing with her?"

Lucifer gave him a dirty look, and not the fun kind, but responded, "give her space. Don't let any humans get to her first. I'd much prefer if you'd let Maze do her job and you to clear everyone else out; there's no reason to even include the officers, and you could call it off if you wanted."

Pierce barely registered a change in expression. "And how do your colleagues feel about just calling them off the job? Or are they taking instructions from you now, instead of me? This is my job, not yours. Or Maze's, for that matter. If you want to be a Police Lieutenant so badly, you should go through some sort of actual training as an officer." His boss flashed Lucifer another look, remembering Dan and Chloe were still present and eyeing them. "How about we discuss these issues privately, so my people can go get some work done?"

Dan winced, internally. He was taking it as a power play, a challenge to his authority rather than just trying to keep people safe against bad odds. Who the hell did Pierce blow to get this gig, anyway?

Lucifer could make his face nearly unreadable when he wanted to. His words, not so much. "Yes, of course. They have enough information regarding the present situation. Detectives?"

Chloe's shoulders went stiff. Dan couldn't see her face from where he was, but her voice was angry and directed at Pierce. "Whatever you need to say, you can say. We know who you are, and I, for one, can't keep pretending I don't."

Lucifer groaned. Chloe crossed her arms. Dan coughed.

Cain's eyes shifted from him to Dan and Chloe and back, poker-faced. He opened his mouth, closed it. "So they know about you, too. Both of them? You have any other of my employees you plan on bringing into the fold?"

Dan winced. Chloe's lips went flat. She shook her head. "We aren't talking about him, we're talking about you."

"Well, he said something, obviously. Or did something." Pierce tilted his head fractionally. "You got your face back all of a sudden?"

Dan tried really hard not to react. He really did. Cain noticed. "Of course, if you had, these two would be on the other side of the country by now. Or in a convent. Monastery? I guess you showed them something else to convince them."

Lucifer tensed. "I'm still the Devil without my face."

"Right. Never did get to see your wings. I bet they're pretty." His comment sounded off the cuff, but he was looking for a response. The Lieutenant eyed Dan and he internally cursed with a long string of unsavory words about himself. Cain continued, "yeah, they must be. I should have guessed they're as nice looking as the rest of you. I got a good look at Amenadiel's, you know, a long-ass time ago." His pale eyes traveled up and down Lucifer, deliberately, sensually. "I always wondered if the wings on different angels are all the same color or not."

"I'm no longer an angel, but it's not necessarily any loss that you haven't seen them. I should have tried cutting your throat with the flight feathers when you wanted to die. Not sure why we didn't get that far. Still on the table, if you want to give it a go?"

His gaze went utterly flat. "Sure, how about right now?"

When Lucifer didn't move, he leaned in slightly, speaking quietly, but not exactly in hushed tones. "If you had, my blood would have sprayed all over those bird legs of yours. Probably would have put a damper on the evening, but hey, whatever floats your ark." He straightened, not looking at Chloe or Dan. As if he had just made some light conversation, he raised his voice enough to be overheard by nearby officers and added a friendly tone, clapping Lucifer on the shoulder. "Hey, how about we go solve this case?"

Without waiting, he turned and left.

Dan kept himself from throwing a rude gesture. They were still in view of a dozen fellow policemen and other coworkers.

Chloe's jaw dropped. "I can't believe I ever wanted to sleep with him."

Dan and Lucifer both stared at her. "What?"

Lucifer added, "I mean, I'm not one to judge, but I'm the monster here, not you."

She gritted her teeth. "Ella pointed out that he has nice arms. And no, you aren't."

The Devil brightened slightly. "Oh, yes, he does. If it helps, his cock isn't all that and a handbasket."

Dan wasn't doing much better than Chloe. "Not my first thought, to be honest."

"You're well above average, unlike him, if you want to compare."

Chloe's face fought a war against a tiny grin. She allowed a smirk. "Oh?" She squeezed Lucifer's hand but didn't do more. She still preferred not to be overly touchy in public, even if her eyes gave her feelings away. Lucifer squeezed back, gratefully, he thought.

Dan couldn't be surprised he had a history in both Hell and on Earth, and he would have to get used to such things if he wanted to keep his shredding sanity together. "Forgive me if I don't bust out a ruler." He smile a little. "Besides, you might ask Chloe to dress in a nun costume and ask her to whack me on the ass with it."

Both Chloe and Lucifer shivered at the same time.

"What?"

Chloe smirked "We tried that. Well, something like that. Before I didn't know he wasn't in character." She added, "plus, that makes you a student, and that's just creepy. You should be a priest instead. Except that could also be creepy. Actually, if or when we do roleplay, let's just keep religious figures out of it entirely. Stick with a nice standard black and white French maid outfit."

"Yeah?" He happened to know Chloe was hot as all fuck in one of those. He wondered if she still had the little hair thing and impractical sexy black heels that went with it.

She smiled, blushing a little. "Lucifer looks great in a little puffy skirt and apron."

A mock-offended gasp came out of Lucifer, who grinned, not shyly. "Detective, you said we shouldn't discuss that outside of the bedroom. But as long as you brought it up, the outfit comes with a silicone-coated handled duster."

Well, he was too big for her outfit, meaning he had his own, which really shouldn't be surprising. Dan's brain helpfully dreamed up some juicy imagery of flipping up said skirt some night soon, yanking down white silk undergarments and pushing him over a table. Fuck, if he had high heels too, Dan wouldn't be able to do him while standing. "Is it frilly?" He swallowed. there's something to be said for digging through a few layers of bunched up petticoats.

Pierce's voice carried loudly from down the hill. "You coming or what?"

Dan, perhaps a little possessively, pecked Lucifer on the lips. Too quietly for anyone but them to hear, he said, "not quite yet." He really didn't give a damn if anyone thought it was unprofessional or not. The Devil had an effect on him.

Lucifer's answering grin left him with a warmth that would last him for hours.

Thinking about the last few days nearly caused Dan to not pay enough attention to his actual job.

Pierce or Cain or whomever volunteered as bait. No one liked it, but no one else really wanted to do it either. Well, Lucifer liked it. He liked it too. Chloe mostly didn't want anyone else to find Cain coming back to life in front of someone. Dan found himself not really giving a shit either way on that aspect.

According to Lucifer, he wasn't invulnerable but consistently rejoined the land of the living, healing from fatal wounds at a supernatural pace. He'd never been killed by a demon before that anyone knew of, but since he'd been killed multiple times by Lucifer, he wasn't really worried about it.

In any case, Dan didn't intend to talk him out of it.

Pierce pulled his workout clothes from the trunk of his car to 'go jogging in'. Eyeing the way the grey tee hugged his form, Dan decided he was pretty much only into Lucifer, as far as men went. Though his perception might be colored by the fact Pierce is a huge asshole who hated him anyway.

Dan kind of hoped he got to see him actually get killed at some point. For educational purposes only, of course.

Chloe stood nearby, her eyes narrowed, maybe going over the same things. Well, some of the same things. He really couldn't picture those two together. Come to think of it, he never asked how she and Lucifer finally worked it out. He hadn't really been aware anything had officially started between them until he picked up Trixie one weekend and Lucifer's car had been in the driveway that morning. He must have been told to hide in the bedroom, but her smile was enough to leave no doubt about the status of her relationship to their consultant.

That and Trixie spilled the beans. His first mental response had been about goddamn time, followed by How long is she going to put up with his Devil shit? Neither of which he said out loud to Trixie, who seemed thrilled by the sitch.

Hands in pockets, he shivered. She and Pierce would have been a disaster.

Said asshole clipped on his radio and jogged off down the trail they thought the demon slash woman might be hanging around. It wasn't too far off from where they found the second and third bodies, the trail wound next to a stream for half a mile and made some good hiding places in deeper brush.

"He cuts a nice figure but I can't say much else for him."

Lucifer had a flask out, dark eyes watching him go. Chloe sat on a stump nearby. They didn't have much to do until the bait got bitten. Texts from Maze told him that she felt like she was getting closer. Lucifer fidgeted.

She hummed. "What the hell is he going to do anyway? She's a demon, right?"

"Perhaps he's still pursuing his death wish. If Maze doesn't have her already, he is the best option to draw her out into the open without hurting more people. Of course, if he really dies, anyone close will be the next target. If she gets fully set off, she may not be easily stopped."

"How did she kill our vics? They weren't clawed up?"

"She stirs passions. She herself didn't murder, but the nature of the beast leaves her responsible all the same." He sounded distant. "She can't help it, it's part of her. All of her. You haven't seen her demon form, it's different from Maze's."

Chloe made a face. This was something to follow up. "She made the victims kill each other?"

"They must have had some sort of latent jealousy already. Most humans do, but not enough to rouse each other. Not enough to act on it, most of the time. Humans have the benefit of a reasoning mind, to counter their passions and base urges. Most of them anyway. Demons generally do not."

"So you're saying they may or may not have eventually killed each other or themselves anyway?"

"The potential was there. Almost always is. The urge to run over someone with a vehicle, for example. You resist it, for several reasons, yet it lingers there in your brain from time to time. Humans follow ideas to the end of possible outcomes, they know there will be dire consequences, but that's not the only reason they choose not to actually murder someone in a position of weakness. You lot may be slightly insane, but you have compassion. There's quite a few of you who wouldn't steal something just because the opportunity presented. Wouldn't murder or even maliciously injure another person even if they could get away with it, because it would still haunt them. Your shorter lives make you all the more aware of it."

"So, demons don't have compassion, but angels do?"

Lucifer grimaced. "Yes and no. When Dad gives an order, it is to be obeyed. Compassion enters not into it. Were He to command, say, Amenadiel to strike down any given human, I believe he would comply - though he did fall for other reasons, perhaps he would disobey our Father in that. Michael wouldn't hesitate, where he instructed to kill either of you. Don't worry though, Dad loves you far too much to do such a thing."

Dan shivered. "You sound very sure about that."

"Even if it happened, you can be sure I'd avenge one or both of you. Or at least try. He's more powerful than I, at least in the Silver City. Then again, I've learned to fight dirty. Maze taught me how to be a bit of a scrapper. I'm not saying I'd win, but I might have a better chance these days. Maybe. The demon itself has no chance against me, so don't worry about that - nor will her past with me influence me not to destroy her if I have to. Cain might have some problems though, if he doesn't have some way to defend himself."

Chloe looked up. "Can you sense her or something? Should we put some distance between us and you just in case she tries to take a human hostage?"

He took a drink. "For your own safety, that's probably best. I'd planned on making up an excuse and going after Cain myself and leaving you two here, to keep her away. I needed to give Running Man enough time to not think I'm following him deliberately."

Dan chewed his tongue. "What if she comes after us?"

"She didn't before. She's very instinctual but she has some sense of self-preservation. As long as you're near a large enough group of people," he nodded to the officers behind him, "you should be fine. She has no reason to target you. If I'm lucky I'll find a clearing to duck into and really shake my wings out. They itch."

He still didn't like it. "She was a roommate of the murder victims. Maybe she found some reason to be jealous of them. She has no connection to us."

In the following quiet, Chloe looked off into the trees and crossed her arms. "I hate this part."

"Waiting? Yeah, me too. I'd almost rather be back in the precinct doing paperwork. How is Ella by the way, Luce? I didn't actually get a look at your, what, sister?"

He nodded. "She's doing better, the demon taint is leaving her body but it'll take a few more hours of angelic presence before she's all nice and back to normal again."

"Was she.. Uh, tainted yesterday too? Apparently, she made some remarks to Chloe?"

"If you're asking, I couldn't tell you how much was influenced by the demonic contact and how much she meant. On some level, she meant all of it, you can't bring to the surface what isn't already there."

Chloe raised an eyebrow. "Are you suggesting you'd be on board with-" She rolled her eyes. "Of course you would be. I don't know why I'm even asking."

Lucifer frowned. "Because your opinion matters, both of you. I'm not going to ask your leave to go shagging every human on the planet. Been there, done most of that anyway. If you recall, Daniel was your idea. Not that I'm complaining, at all." An impish look grew on his face. "I do rather like having steady, consistent company, not to mention exploring boundaries."

Dan jumped a little, shifting his weight. He hadn't considered any of that, Lucifer stopping with just the two of them. Until recently, he wasn't sure he was even a considering factor, let alone a possible permanent one. He let himself roll it around in his head, thinking about the date night they haven't really had yet. Everything could still blow up, but he couldn't argue that the last few mornings hadn't been...fulfilling. Even in non-sexual ways. Maybe especially.

He didn't particularly enjoy hiding in the bedroom until Trixie had gone to school, but he got that she might not understand, at least not without a real talk first. That Chloe wanted to have that talk meant a lot to him.

Chloe gave Lucifer a smirk. "You're talking about my ass, aren't you?"

Lucifer just grinned in a way that made his blood run hot. And he wasn't even looking at him.

"Would she be...separate? Ella?"

"You're acting like it's even possible. I don't know if she'd even truly want that kind of thing."

Chloe played with her bullet necklace, biting her lip and thinking hard about something. "She...had in the past. Had been in that kind of relationship, multiple dating partners anyway."

Lucifer mulled it over. A year ago, he would have jumped at the chance. Now, emotions played over his face that told Dan he was serious about this budding relationship of theirs, considering at least Chloe's wants and desires. Maybe he didn't want to further share...him?

Nah.