The Doctors react to the cliffhanger of Dark Water. Hey, it was way funnier in 2014.
oOo
(She is threatening to destroy my fez unless I say it. Oh, you bet she can do it in Heaven too... The rest of the Bow-tie Association agrees, I really don't have a choice here.
So, "spoilers".)
.
.
11: Hey guys, check out my new bow-warghhh!
(3 grabs him by the collar and drags him to a TV set. 10 and 2 are already watching with great interest)
3: Watch. This.
11: Hey, you'll ruin it! What kind of Bow-tie Association are we?!
3: Shut up. Just watch.
11: But-
10: Shhh!
.
.
(a while later)
.
10: WHAT?! WHAT!? WHAT!?
2: Holy sh-
3: Language!
2: Sorry.
11: Blimey.
2: Say that again!
10: I do not accept this!
3: That was…
10: She's what?! She…she's what?! How-how can she…
11: This is definitely, extremely very not good.
3: You know, we really should have seen this coming.
2: Yeah, in hindsight it's really quite obvious.
11: I feel extremely privileged right now.
10: Oh, are you ever, you don't even know!
11: Twelve, you poor, poor man, you are on your own. Thank God for Trenzalore, dodged that bullet! (fixes bow tie)
10: I abandoned you?! Well, what else could I do, what did you expect?! I abandoned you, Mr. screw-you-let's-refuse-to-regenerate-just-to-spite-him?
3: Yeah, my Master wouldn't do that! In fact, we'll have a few words about this later!
2: Well, if he's not gleefully conquering galaxies in that virtual reality of his again…weird hobby…
10: The dead- the dead people…WHAT!? HOW DARE YOU!
2: Yeah, the real afterlife is amazing! You get to meet Einstein! Although he's always busy… and I had already met him anyway, so…
3: Pure twisted evil, lying, tricking and deceiving people like this to build your army, it's diabolical. I expected better of you!
2: How dare she use dead peoples' bodies and minds like that! Nice future this one, no standards at all!
10: She kissed him! Why...Why…Why?! I mean…
3: Yes, I really didn't need to see that.
10: First of all, you are evil! Second, it was never like that!
2: Yeah, right…
10: Shut it! Third, look at the poor bastard! NOT. INTERESTED. IN. FLIRTING. What do you not understand?!
11: Fucking Cybermen.
(everyone stares in shock)
11: What, I almost got upgraded, it ruined both chess and amusement parks for me, I've got issues, alright?!
2: Well, they are bad news…
10: They?! They are the bad news here?!
3: Technically, they're the victims, these new ones at least…
11: Oh yes, they are…
10: How dare you. How dare you. Is it because I like humans? Is that it?! First, you steal the living, all their bodies, now you steal the dead, is nothing sacred to you!?
11: THE PONDS' GRAVES ARE DOWN THERE, YOU COLOSSAL ARSEHOLE, GO DIE IN A FIRE!
3: Like that would stop her…
2: He. He can stop her. He'll fix this.
10: Well, he'd better damn do it quickly then, this is serious!
3: Yeah, will you please cease staring in a horrified manner at the Cybermen, Doctor, really not helping.
2: Come on, do something!
11: Seriously, Twelve, move your lazy arse!
2: The future of mankind is in your hands! Again!
10: We. Trust you. Allonz-y! Go! For great justice!
.
Like, how insanely awesome and awesomely insane would it be, if they hadn't resolved this, and the whole of Series 9 was ROBOT. ZOMBIE. APOCALYPSE?
Kind of.
To be continued...