hi, yes. im working on a chapter for my other story sfukhsduf im just having rly bad writers block rn

this is an AU! here are the things that changed:

- Hollyleaf stayed a medicine cat apprentice

- they grew up knowing who their real parents are, under the promise that they never told anyone

- Hollyleaf and Fallen Leaves know eachother from Hollyleaf's dreams instead of the tunnels

- Hollyleaf is only about 16-17 moons in this instead of being 30 moons when she died in the books

- She's not code-crazed in this

- The fire scene did happen but Ashfur was killed by a rouge before he could tell the clans

The pained yowls and battle cries of cats seemed to echo among the whole forest while Hollyleaf frantically pressed herbs into the wounds of many dying warriors, panic surging through her veins at the dawning thought that they'd eventually run out of herbs.

Leafpool seemed just as panicked as her as she shoved the last two poppy seeds next to a bleeding warrior's muzzle, who gratefully swallowed. Surely the other medicine cats could spare some herbs, right? It was a hopeful thought, if it wasn't for the realization that the others were also probably running low. The amount of injured cats grew as the battle continued, and Hollyleaf waddled in the dread that she wouldn't - she couldn't save all of them.

The now familiar shadowed, muddy pelts of dark forest warriors sparked a feeling of fear and anguish into her brain. She just wanted it all to stop. Just stop fighting for Starclan's sake, please. A shaky sigh escaped her maw as she forced herself to pry her eyes away from her fighting clanmates and huddle towards the back of the rocky wall's of the den. The amount of injuries had gone down as she hadn't seen another cat limp into the den in a while, though she noted the fighting hadn't subsided yet.

Hollyleaf shook her ruffled fur and kept on a look-out, the bloodied pelt's of her fellow sleeping clanmates worrying her as she constantly checked to make sure they were still breathing, and to her relief, none had joined Starclan yet.

She looked towards the entrance of the den, which Leafpool was standing there, guarding it and probably checking to see if any other cats needed help. Guilt prodded at her stomach like a ball of maggots, she felt as if she should be helping more.

"Mom?" Hollyleaf's voice came out in a hesitant tone, "Do you want me to go find Kestrelflight and ask if they have any spare herbs? We're not going to last long, we don't even have any cobwebs left."

She explained, nervousness pricking at her like a bush full of brambles. She saw Leafpool hesitate before nodding, though she could tell that Leafpool was just as nervous as her.

"Be safe, this is no clan fight. Dark forest warriors don't care about sparing the life of medicine cats, if anything, they're more of a target."

Leafpool warned, concern and worry lacing her tone, the thought of her only daughter becoming nothing more than a corpse lighting a flame of fear to be embedded in the back of her mind. Hollyleaf did nothing but give a curt nod, preparing herself to step out of the comfort of the medicine cat den.

Eventually, she did. Anxiety clawed at her and told her to flee back to the medicine cat den, away from the dangerous claws and teeth of their dead enemies, though she didn't. She had to get these herbs, and hopefully get back without being killed.

Hollyleaf padded as close to bushes and densely packed grass as she could, she couldn't risk being seen, at least while on her own territory. Windclan's territory would be much more difficult, the lack of places to hide creating a higher chance of being spotted, not to mention her black fur that stuck out against the lighter plants.

With a leap, the molly crossed the small stream that divided the two territories, the same, familiar scene played across the fields. The cries of pained cats and desperate attempts to get away from the grasp of their soon-to-be death. She caught sight of a few Starclan warriors fighting as well, and a surge of relief eased over her for a mere second.

The Windclan camp came into sight, and a few bodies of recently dead cats were splayed to the side. She couldn't recognize any of them, luckily. Making her way fearfully, she swiftly padded into the medicine cat den, catching sight of Kestrelflight healing the neck wound of an injured warrior.

A wave of pity went over her, Kestrelflight didn't have any help, not since Barkface died.

"Kestrelflight? It's Hollyleaf. Leafpool and I are out of almost everything, I came to ask if you had any herbs you could spare?"

The Thunderclan she-cat asked, temporarily looking at the stack of herbs that seemed scattered due to having to use so many. She saw Kestrelflight jump a bit at the sudden voice, having not noticed her presence before.

"Mouse-dung- Yeah. I'm starting to run low as well, I hope this battle ends soon. So far around ten cats of my clan have died."

He said, grief lacing his voice before he looked towards his herbs, a bit of embarrassment coming up like bile as he saw the mess.

"Take whatever, Thunderclan probably needs it more than Windclan right now."

Kestrelflight mumbled, watching Hollyleaf as she gave a grateful nod and grabbed some cobwebs, thyme, marigold, and poppy seeds, the essentials. After gathering the herbs, she offered a gentle smile towards the tom.

"Thank you so much- I'll see you at the moonpool next half-moon. Stay safe."

Just as Hollyleaf was about to turn track, the screech of a Queen sounded through the camp and Hollyleaf immediately dropped the herbs, sprinting towards the sound and coming to the sight of a she-cat batting off a Dark forest warrior from the nursery, three kits huddled against another frightened Queen's belly, and right next to the entrance laid the grief striking sight of a dead kit.

Hollyleaf seemed unable to tear her eyes off the scene, paralyzed in fear before eventually the fighting she-cat let out another cry as the Dark forest warrior sunk it's teeth into her neck and she dropped dead.

Panic waved over her as she hear the mewls of the kits who were now being guarded by the other Queen in the nursery, and without a second thought, she sprinted towards the Dark forest warrior and tackled him in an uncoordinated fit of claws and kicks.

The kit's may have not been from her clan, but the death of one wouldn't go unjustified. She dug her claws into the shoulder of the warrior and raked them down, blood splattering onto the dirt next to the nursery.

Desperately struggling to keep up with his pace, she eventually managed to lead the fight far from the nursery in order to spare the risk of them toppling in there. A cry sounded from her maw as the Dark forest warrior pinned her down, his claws dangerously close to her neck as she struggled to kick him off.

To her avail though, it was no use, sure- she'd learned how to fight, as required for all medicine cats, but it wasn't put to use enough to have the strength to fight off a fully grown tom. She let out a pained screech as the Dark forest warrior's claws raked over her throat, and then her vision grew fuzzy, the previous unbearable pain fading into a dull throb as she laid there, the Dark forest warrior padding off after the damage had been done.

She couldn't see much, though she could see the fuzzy outline of Kestrelflight, who seemed to be in panic as he gathered herbs. Hollyleaf wanted to let him know there was no use- that she was going to die either way and the herbs shouldn't be wasted, though she couldn't get her voice out, it seemed as if it had vanished into nothing and replaced with a weak strain of airflow.

And then she saw the outline of a black pelt, and the slightest bit of happiness coursed through her, Crowfeather, her father. He hadn't been there for her as a kit, he hadn't even known she was born - but he was here now. Hollyleaf just barely heard the muffled cry from him as he rushed over, pressing his nose into her matching fur and seemingly yelling at Kestrelflight to save her. Please, it's no use. Don't.

And then - everything was gone, and replaced with a soft, glowing light. The familiar area of Starclan making her feel shaky and overwhelmed. She was gone already? She hadn't even gotten to say goodbye to her family in Thunderclan. Hollyleaf looked around, her surroundings clear instead of the contrary of blur in which she'd just experienced, and then she caught sight of an all too familiar pelt.

Bluestar. Hollyleaf felt disappointment claw at her stomach, and tears welled up in her eyes, the realization that she was really just gone crushing her like a fallen tree branch. Bluestar must've caught notice of this as she rested a tail on Hollyleaf's shoulder while she wept.

"Bluestar! I didn't want to die - not yet! W- What about my brothers? - or Leafpool? Can't you send me back?"

She cried out, her now star-speckled paws trembling beneath her as she frantically looked around.

"I'm afraid not, young one. You can always visit their dreams, you know." Bluestar gave a comforting lick on Hollyleaf's ear, "Now come on, I'll show you around."

Hollyleaf stubbornly shook her head, still struggling to will away tears. She was so young still - she could've done so much for the clan. Grief struck her in waves, and she wanted Lionblaze and Jayfeather to comfort her like they had many times before.

"I- I want to go back, please, Bluestar! I don't want to be here- I want to be back in Thunderclan! I'm too young to be here- I don't want to go yet!"

Hollyleaf sobbed out again, her voice desperate as if she could convince Bluestar to do what was far out of her control. Bluestar merely let out a sigh, as if she'd encountered this same reaction again and again. Bluestar looked up at the distant padding of a Starclan warrior, who simply smiled and waved their tail towards a direction, nodding at Hollyleaf's still distraught figure.

"Hollyleaf, come on. We have a visitor for you."

Bluestar said softly, her tail still resting on Hollyleaf's shoulders as she gently guided her from her spot. Hollyleaf just barely perked up at the words before following next to her, the disappointment and longing to be alive still very well prominent.

While padding closely behind Bluestar, she took the time to admire the soft and starry surroundings, it was like the familiar forest she grew up in except it radiated a gentle feeling of peace, like a sunny day after a thunderstorm.

Eventually, Bluestar stopped padding, which caused Hollyleaf to look back up again, her jade-colored eyes met an all-too familiar orange and white pelt and joy immediately replaced the previous despair as she came sprinting towards him in a jumble of purrs and loving licks.

"Fallen Leaves!"

Hollyleaf let out a happy cry, purring and shoving her face into the fur on his chest. Fallen Leaves returned the joy and started to groom her grief-ruffled fur, glancing at Bluestar for a moment to dip his head in respect, who simply smiled and started to walk off. She'd have to show Hollyleaf around later.

"I'll leave you two to catch up."

Bluestar called out, before disappearing into a star-coated bush. Eventually, Hollyleaf and Fallen Leaves had settled down, laying beside each other with their tails intertwined, Hollyleaf's head resting contently on his paws.

"I missed you."

Hollyleaf eventually mumbled, licking down a tuft of fur that was sticking up on Fallen Leaves's neck, a soft purr escaping his maw at the feeling.

"I did too."

Fallen leaves confessed as he gently groomed the top of her head and worked his way around, the loud purrs rumbling out of Hollyleaf sprouting a smile on his face. Hollyleaf pressed into him and relaxed.

She wasn't with her family any longer, but at least she had someone who could walk beside her until they could as well.

Perhaps being dead wasn't so bad after all.

this was a feels roller-coaster to write lmao but review if you can! it helps me improve!