Chapter 3: Agoraphobia

Akira remembered that the faculty office was on the second floor. A straight line to there was all he needed to do. Though...there had to be one obstacle between him and there.

A big one. On the first floor. With aging hair and aging skin and aging ideas on rehabilitating youth through harsh teaching, given his look.

"So you're that problem transfer student. Late on the first day, too. You like causing trouble for the school? You even want to be reformed? I'll bet 50,000 yen that that attitude you showed today is just going to repeat throughout the year."

Akira at this rate would have just walked away so that he wouldn't make Kawakami madder. Unfortunately, given the near-death experiences he had undergone just today...

"Not really. But YOU seem to like causing trouble for other students trying to get to the faculty office. And from what I could gather from the principal, you should be on the same page as him. Now excuse me."

Akira began to walk briskly to the second-floor staircase. Behind him, he could sense that the late, middle-aged teacher was fumed enough to reach out and attempt to grab him to prevent him from going anywhere. He then heard the cracking and creaking of an old man's back. Turning around, the teacher was scowling, huddling forward with his hand straddling his back, his golden years having ended being made clear.

"Oh my! you should get a doctor for that," Akira said with the biggest shit-eating grin.

Just as Kamoshida said, Kawakami was waiting in the faculty office. Head forward and laying down on a stack of papers, but present none the less.

Kawakami, using what must have been an innate ESP, got up to greet Akira with her best impression of a bear rudely awoken from hibernation, followed by:

"Urgh, unbelievable. Being over half a day late on your first day?"

"I got lost. Tokyo subways are weird."

Kawakami scoffed. "It's lunchtime; you could have walked over here and got here sooner. I mean it's true the trains have been a mess as of late, but you're way too late!"

A deathly stare was somehow forming over her eye bags.

"Pull yourself together! You were given fair warning yesterday. Plus, I heard that you were along with Sakamoto-kun?"

"It wasn't my choice; he just fumbled into me," Akira responded, still trying to stay cool.

A long sigh came from Kawakami's mouth. "Don't get involved with him, OK? He's nothing but trouble." Her head then turned slightly, her expression softening. "He wasn't like that in track and field though...anyway break time's almost over. Due to the train accident, classes will end at fifth period. Follow me."

Following Kawakami-sensei to the classroom, Akira realized he was going to enter a hornet's nest. It would get out eventually, but he didn't expect it to come this early; the buzz from the hallways about him was already this loud; he couldn't imagine what it would be like inside.

Before entering the classroom, Kawakami turned to him. "By the way, when you introduce yourself...please be serious about it even if you're lying to class OK? Do NOT say anything unnecessary."

Like that would have mattered. The class greeted him loudly with rumors about him.

"Late on his first day of school? He must be insane..."

"He looks normal though..."

"Today, I'd like to introduce our new student, Akira Kurusu. Today we...had him attend from the afternoon on since he didn't feel so well."

"But he might slug us if we look him in the eye.."

"He seems quiet...but I bet when he loses it..."

"I mean...he was arrested for assault."

Kawakami was getting more uncomfortable with each whisper. "Uhh, so your seat will be...Hmm...Over there. The one that's open. Sorry, but can the people nearby please share your textbooks for him today?"

Uhh, this sucks.

Akira proceeded to his chair, not trying to make eye contact with anyone, just to do them a favor. Akira was about to reach his seat when he heard:

"Lies; the station would have given you enough time." It came from the right. It was the same natural blonde he saw that got into Kamoshida's car. Her joy and openness were visibly gone.

Still:

"Hmm," Akira said, calling her out somewhat. Natural Blonde sunk down somewhat, directing her attention away from him towards the windows to her left. Just like the others.

Well, enough lingering, Akira thought. Time to settle down.

Unfortunately, the rumors didn't settle down yet.

"Did you catch that? Do they know each other?"

"Does that mean he hit on her before transferring here?"

"Then again, this is Takamaki-san we're talking about..."

"For real; that side of the room is awful..."

The only thing Akira could do is stare out at the window, and the wire mesh baked into it. A courtyard with lush, green trees was waiting below.

He reckoned he'd get acquainted well with the view this year.

He was pretty sure he was going to need it.

Akira, despite the jabbering of the people around him, survived until fifth period. The day was over; he'd expected Sojiro to chew him out when he got back. He did have that right after all. Most of all, he was surprised by the natural blonde, Takamaki. What the hell did she deserve to get that much flack?

It became sadder the more he thought about it; she was here at Shujin longer than him, and she probably has had multiple days of this crap.

And now, being associated with the "infamous transfer student" probably didn't make her life much easier.

He could have ruminated on this more. But Akira was then struck with the worst headache while leaving class. His vision was starting to wane, and he barely held his head with his right hand. A few blinks, and he was starting to see regal-looking furniture in place of the lockers and people in the halls. With a red carpet spanning the hallway no less.

"Am I...still in that place?!" Akira said, his heart starting to race at the possibility.

"What's wrong?" Kawakami asked behind Akira's back.

"...It's nothing." At least, Akira thought, it looks like some type of...hallucination or whatever.

But still...

What the hell is happening? Am I starting to...fall apart somehow?

"...Are you ok?" Kawakami continued further. "...Just head straight back to where you're staying. Sakura-san sounded mad when we called him about your absence. Oh, and about Sakamoto-kun-"

Speak of the devil, Akira thought.

"Speak of the devil," Kawakami remarked. Ryuji had entered the stage. "What do you want? I heard the police busted you for skipping classes today."

"Uhh, it was nothing." Ryuji was a poor liar.

Kawakami continued. "And you haven't changed your hair back to black either..."

"Sorry about that." Ryuji then headed over to Akira's left ear.

"Rooftop. I'll see you."

Kawakami couldn't help but shake his head. "Urgh...Why do I have to deal with this? This is why I don't want you involved with him. Understood?" Kawakami then trudged off in the direction of the faculty office, her hands plunged wholeheartedly into her messy hair.

Exit stage left Kawakami, enter Rolie-Polie Principal and Potential Pedophile from the nearby stairs.

"Now come on, don't be like that," chimed Kobayakawa.

"But seriously? He's friends with Sakamoto ALREADY. He's been guilty of assault. At this rate, all of my contributions to this school won't matter."

"Now, now," Kobayakawa continued, "A steady buildup of resources is needed to make an institution like this grow. And the boy proved to be a great opportunity."

"...Your troubles are ever present, huh? Well...ok, I'll do my best to your expectations."

The two then soon parted ways, not noticing that the kid they were talking about was privy to every word. A steady stream of resources? The hell?

The upper left part of his vision was tingling. A youngish, black-haired student in just a turtleneck was staring. He turned his attention, only for this kid to turn away, his trembling as visible as his facial bruises and scrapes. He also happened to lead the afternoon ceremony in class.

But that wasn't important right now. Ryuji called him up to the rooftop. And he had a good feeling what the topic of conversation would be.

Akira was sitting here on the rooftop, trying to process the roller coaster he had been through. He was sitting on one of the many spare plastic fold-up chairs populating the roof. Sakamoto was taking his sweet time, he mused to himself. He could have pondered more about this...but he was starting to get bored.

Ultimately, his mind began drifting towards thoughts of being in the hallways, sitting by the window in the classroom, constantly hearing what people were whispering even when he wasn't actively listening.

He hoped he was ready for the worst before parting ways with his hometown. But today...with the dungeon...Persona...even for him, all of that was too much.

He was lucky then that Ryuji picked such a secluded spot; he needed the quiet.

The best thing for him now, he thought, would be to find something to distract himself. Fishing through his backpack full of trash, wires, and circuit boards, he noticed he kept "that" still on him.

To laymen, it was a Kanzaki solenoid haphazardly mounted on a rotting piece of boat wood with some hastily soldered chips and components. But to him, it just needed a battery, and it could significantly disable any assailant...

I suppose you wouldn't mind enjoying this creation of mine...

Who'd knew a motorcycle part could produce this?

That, and the sound of someone in high school yelling in pain due to 1 kilowatt of karmic justice being delivered.

"...Nevermind," Akira said to himself. "I shouldn't dote that far back away."

Besides, in that mess of a sack, there aren't any soldering irons. And there being an outlet on top of the roof? Fat chance.

He'd had to settle for Sudoku on his phone instead.

"So, here you are. Though finding you up here is quite a surprise. This place is usually locked."

Akira didn't expect to have the Student Council President come up here instead of Ryuji. Despite almost dropping his phone, Akira put up his best innocent expression. In the evening light, he saw her, arms behind her back, head face forward, and eyes dimmed to convey a "refined" form of harsh judgment.

Either way, Akira felt like she was trying to bore through his head with them.

"Uhh...well...I was just trying to think." Akira couldn't help but wring the back of his neck out of embarrassment. "I mean, I would have been in the library...but it looks like my past caught up to me faster than I expected. The whispers were so loud they practically were yelling, so I couldn't focus. So, I tried somewhere a bit...far out...like here."

Makoto was still standing up, now arms crossed, trying to seem serious. Unbeknownst to her, she had a slightly amused smile on her face, slightly comforted that she wasn't the only one getting annoyed by them. "Tell me something," Makoto replied, as she propped up a chair for herself, sitting directly in front of Akira. "You were practically gone for half of the day. I should know since Kawakami-sensei was...well...very angry to say the least."

"I could imagine," Akira said with creeping gravity.

"And then you showed up with that...'interesting' student of yours with the blonde hair...What kept you from coming?" Makoto asked, leaning forward slightly.

Akira wished he could have been truthful in his instance. That he had to fight through a castle owned by some representation of a perverted gym teacher using a power within. But then...she definitely wouldn't believe him even if he kept to his being lost in a castle.

And so, he replied:

"I got lost."

A quick pause. Then:

"I'm still having trouble navigating the subway here it seems. I mean...what happened the other day at Shibuya...well, I guess that dazed me was still here today." Akira chuckled softly, feeling a bit flushed. "Sorry. It's true though. I feel like I'm navigating a maze, between the stops and the alleyways needed to get to here. You're right though...that blonde kid is weird. But it's not like I wanted him to tag along, and I'm not actively trying to."

Makoto felt a slight sigh of relief. Though, now, a quick silence fell between them, with Akira periodically looking at his phone.

The buildings were starting to dim the sky. "It's such a shame. It's quite a nice open view here. No skyscrapers to block the sky," Akira said, facing now towards the sun. He took off his glasses; he figured that if his eyes were to relax, the rest of him would follow. "Reminds me of my setup at home."

"Home?" Makoto inquired, her legs now crossed and her back leaning towards Akira. "Well, I suppose being next to the ocean gives you some beautiful sights."

"Yeah..." Akira was now turned towards Makoto. Despite the reduced sunlight, the orange hue over everything was adding warmth to her already earnest smile. And her eyes...

"Wait, how did you..."

"Sorry...I had to be briefed, unfortunately. I recognized your town during my studies."

"I figured as much."

Makoto meanwhile was starting to feel flustered; she was beginning to notice he had a bad habit of zoning out in front of her. Especially now, his frizzy hair was casting a shadow over his eyes, making his grayish eyes a charcoal flavor. And they were pointed towards her.

Neither noticed how much time they were dedicated to penetrating the other's visage. Or the tingle down the base of their spine.

Wait, right. "Sorry, I lost track."

Hunched forward to meet her eye to eye, he continued, a childlike giddiness bubbling to the surface of his lips:

"Have you've even been to the ocean?"

"The ocean?" Her eyes darted upward as he tried to remember the last time she was there. "I would say...maybe a year ago. With my sister."

"I don't mean the beaches here; I mean like, a real beach. With no buildings or towers or skyscrapers or human-made lights?"

Makoto couldn't help but feel a bit embarrassed. "N-no...I can't say I have."

"Then you're missing out. You go from a beach like that, with no civilization in sight, no steel towers or anything inorganic, fabricated. You can see the best sights there. Orion shines brightly, the Dippers are proud and brilliant. Just imagine being on a boat. Or better yet, on the highway. In a convertible, or on a bicycle, and letting the fresh ocean breeze hit you in the face."

Makoto had forgotten for a bit that she was doing a check-up on the delinquent fuzzy-haired boy and assumed a pose she'd only reserved for her lecturers.

Akira was starting to get self-aware of his geekiness and couldn't help but stare away for a moment.

Makoto was paying attention meanwhile to the bag of junk next to Akira's leg. She had just inched to his side, with Akira being none the wiser. Did Akira leave it open? She didn't see too much though. Some cords, sheet metal, and...

A Kanzaki solenoid?! Weird thing to bring to school. But those...those can last for 15 years upon estimates. Plus... that reminds me, I am due for a new one. Though..do I really have time for-"

"I'm sorry; I'm probably boring you with this stuff; I'm probably just some uncool geek with unkempt hair in your eyes right now. I probably should have just-"

His back was buzzing. Akira turned around to find Makoto standing right next to him, borderline beaming.

"I think you have an exciting passion, Akira-kun. In fact...it's enviable.

Akira was confused. "My passion? I mean, don't you have goals, dreams? What about Student Council? I mean, I would assume you need passion to be a President."

Makoto's smile became a tad weaker. "It's hard to say; it's there...but...let's just say that having a dad who served into the Metro, things felt at times to be...guided, to say the least. I was in Student Council starting the first year in Shujin. It would be only natural for me to assume a higher position after being in it for so long, especially with people like him and my Sis suggesting such things."

Akira couldn't help but smile. Despite the mention of cops, something about her enthusiasm, her reverie, was something fascinating to behold. Though:

"You don't have to be so clinical, you know. I mean, I can only assume being a President involves a lot of detailed work and the like. But you should at least make sure it was something you wanted."

Makoto felt a certain resonance with those words. Big enough to actually pause and think for a bit.

After a while, Makoto felt comfortable with this answer:

"While it's true that my sister suggested this as something that would reflect well for my college applications...I think I wanted this. I felt at the time I applied I could be a just President that could preside over everyone. Protect everyone, rule fairly. Be a force for all things just. 'Tame the uncharted wilderness,' as someone would say."

What a dork; she definitely quoted that from a Western. "Well, Makoto, I think you gave a satisfactory answer. High marks. Though I assumed no less for someone in a position that probably needs good grades."

Makoto couldn't help but utter a small giggle, despite trying to cover her mouth. "That's so corny, if I say so myself. Plus you sound like one of the teachers here, to be frank."

Akira's voice got deeper, but his grin was still plastered on his face. "But it's true; it's very 'queenly' of you. Speaking of which...aren't you supposed to be meeting with Student Council right now?"

Makoto was taken aback by how much he was already in the relative know. "How are you figuring this out?"

"Best guess; I just assumed since school just ended."

Makoto groaned. "That sounds about right...well if you excuse me, but...'Your Excellency' must depart."

"I suppose I'm your dirty little secret from now on? Don't wanna have rumors about you spread about your secret trysts up on the roof."

Makoto giggled once more. "You're the worst; I don't have the luxury for that anyways." She was about to turn away to the rooftop entrance when she felt something lingering in her mind. It was too soon, perhaps...but she could at least try.

"Hey..." her voice now lower and quieter than before. Her eyes were also looking away from Akira, towards a random tree down in the distance, trying to find something to ease her nerves. "I know...I'm going to be rude by asking this. If you don't want to answer...I don't blame you. I felt like I should know since...other people are asking about it, and you'll have to deal with it. If there's anything...I can do to help..."

"It's about my record, huh?" Akira had assumed she'd be curious of certain facets of his record. And for some reason...he felt he should oblige her somewhat, now she was here.

"Hey, it's ok. I'm not offended. You did the kindest thing by asking. Plus...I'll have to admit I wasn't the most forthcoming since the first time we met. So, I'll try to answer to the best of my abilities."

Makoto turned back to meet Akira's dark eyes. "I-it's just...everything in your record was blank before. A few complaints, sure, but nothing disciplinary. I...what went wrong, Kurusu-kun?"

"...Because..."

Akira felt himself tighten all around. Phalanges, ribs, tendons, lats; it was preventing him from focusing. A fire was forming in his chest, as he was starting to think back to that drunken asshole, to the castle, to the woman crying for help, to Ryuji on the verge of execution, and how evil had triumphed over honest men, how malice destroyed the lives of the innocent, how the strong preyed on the weak.

He was fighting himself from gnashing his teeth into dust.

After a bit, he forced himself to sigh, to release the hot air forming in his lungs.

Makoto was still attentive, though, as she realized that perhaps that rudimentary analogy was correct: maybe Akira was a time bomb.

And she set it off by accident.

Makoto...I don't need her to see me angry.

He finally resolved to give her a brief, but honest answer, straightening his back and spreading out his hands relieve the tension in them:

"Because doing the right thing doesn't make the world right."

Akira turned away from her, his head hunched forward. "I'm sorry."

Makoto at this point had her eyes closed, her hand on her chin, digesting over each word. Her face was scrunched up, deciphering his every intonation.

"...I see." Her eyes then opened to meet his. "I appreciate you being honest with me, despite how much pain this might have caused you. There's only so much I can decipher from what you said...but it's not my position to pry too much. Thanks for talking to me."

Despite the seriousness of the previous topic, Makoto decided to end her conversation with Akira with a smile and a small bow. She then proceeded to leave the way she came.

And now Akira was alone again. Perhaps for the best, Akira thought. Ryuji seemed like he didn't want anyone else barging in, especially someone who's somewhat associated with the school.

And so, Akira sat back down, now with glasses on. He was staring at the yellow-orange gradient above him, waiting once again for Ryuji. But it seems sleep would come first instead.

His eyelids getting noticeably heavy. The warm colors above him were still pushing through his eyelids, swirling between various stages of orange, red, and then white. And as that was happening, he felt a sinking sensation.

"...I just wish I could be a good person. A brave person, unafraid to tear apart the world at the seems. A just person...just like her. Just like..." Akira mumbled to himself.

And so, while bathing in sunlight, Akira let his mind drift to another time. A hotter time.

6 years ago

"Sis, you know cigarettes give you bad lungs," chimed the boy. He was laying fully flat on a motorcycle chassis while reading a thick manga titled "AKIRA", not caring about staining the pages with the traces of grease on his hands.

"Ren, you're a self-righteous brat you know that?" chimed Minako, her long, brown hair tied into a bun and her face full of oil smudges.

He winced. "I'm just looking out for my big Sis, big Sis."

The woman paused for a moment. She was hunkered over the ground, her cap in her hand, visibly stressed by the metric ton of sweat forming on her brow. The sun god was not kind today.

"Hey, Minako..you think Dad could put us on one of his choppers? He can fly after all. I'm getting bored. "

"A Defense Force pilot can only do so much; a former one, even less. And what do you mean? Last time I checked, you were taking a break reading about post-apocalyptic biker gangs while I'm the one trying to get this stupid ass starter to work?"

"You mean Bendix drive."

"Same difference, wiseass."

"Sorry. I'm bored. I just...want some crosswords. Better than picking up Dad's slack."

She couldn't disagree; it was rather dull, mainly since the task at hand, which was fixing this stupid fucking starter, was more impossible of a task than finding something better than mechanic work to do for the rest of her life.

Bored, eh?

"Hey, kiddo; how about a magic trick?"

"...I'm not 'kiddo.' I'm your Bro."

Minako grunted. "Ok, fine, Pipsqueak Bro. Just pay attention." She then motioned here two pointed fingers from Akira to her eyes. She held the dry cigarette in her right hand using all of her fingertips. With her left hand, she pushed the cigarette into her hand. After fully in, she turned her hand away from him, to show nothing in her right hand.

"Sis...I know you just pivoted the cigarette into a finger hold on your left hand."

Her face was shriveled. "You little shit..."

Akira couldn't help but giggle at her sister's misfortune. Given their situation, anything would have been nice.

"...Hey sis?"

"WHAT?"

"...Thanks. Your magic trick caught my attention."

"I hate you."

She stared back down at the solenoid. She started to smile.

"Hey, Ren-Ren. Catch."

Akira at the last minute caught the solenoid with both hands. He felt the bike solenoid's rust; the leads were messed up as well.

"Needs better electrical contacts," she commented. "Probably cheaper to buy one aftermarket. Ren-Ren, pass me the jacket to your left."

Akira turned left to see a black jacket with a red, circular emblem on the right jacket arm. She proceeded to wipe her hands off with it.

"Better use for this 'Gekkou; jacket anyway. Either way, this starter business is Dad's problem."

Akira scoffed. "I've asked you not to call me that, how many times?

"Not enough to satiate my boredom."

"Besides, what am I supposed to do with it?"

Minako smirked. "Make another gizmo out of it. Add it to the pile in your room."

A loud yelping came from the road nearby. That of a wounded animal it seemed.

Akira walked over to find a dog with its throat slit and a white sedan screeching off.

The 3rd one this month.

Minako crouched over the dog, petting it gently between each of its whimpers.

"Fucking cowards. Strays, now house pets?! When is this going to end?"

Akira couldn't help but stare at the dog's eyes. They were fixated on him, and Akira could see the fear. The want of...something for the last time. Maybe pets. Or play.

After a while, it just froze its eye on him, never moving from that position.

It didn't have long anyway.

Though...he'd reckoned he'd try something crazy with his new spare part.

For another's dogs sake.