Just a heads up Italic means flashback!
I can't help but wrap my arms around Clary as she leans into my chest after everyone starts laughing. She does have the ability to silence men. But with me it's a silence so that I don't spill all my secrets about how in love with her I have been since as far back as I could remember.
I remember the first time that I met Clary. It was also with Jon and Izzy, but I only remember seeing her.
The first thing I noticed about the small red head who was trying to put her coat up on the peg that read 'Clarissa Fray' was that she was beautiful. "Need some help with that short stuff?" I can't help but ask, a tone of helpfulness in my voice.
The little girl in front of me huffs. "Just because I'm small doesn't mean that you get to be mean to me! I'll tell my big brother if you carry on." She says and turns to lift her finger up to point at me.
"Your big brother? He's not too big to be in this class?" I ask a smirk pulling on the side of my face. My mother always says that my speaking is far ahead for an almost 4 year old. I never understood what she meant until this moment when I thought about all the big words that I could use to confuse the little red head in front of me.
"Nuh huh! He's still 4 until October! Mommy says that we will be four for a month and a half together!" She say sticking out her tongue at me. I look down to her, I see her eyes. There the most beautiful eyes that I have ever seen. They are the brightest green I have ever seen! Even brighter than the green trees outside my house this morning. "Hey I know you! You live at the end of my street in the really big house! Look I did a drawing of your house yesterday!" her sentence makes me jump and I look down to her hands and see her looking thought a bright blue bag with a painted on multi coloured pony on the front.
"You drew my house?" I ask my eyebrow raised. She looks up and I see a scowl cross her face.
"Hey! Don't do that around me!" She says and quickly grabs a book out of her bag. "Look this one is your house." She says and pulls her paper towards me and stands next to me. I look down at her drawing and see a drawing that looks like it was done by someone who was 8 years old!
"Wow! This looks like someone whose eight years old drew it! How old are you anyway Clarissa?" I ask and look back down at her. I bet this girl doesn't have cooties. I bet I could be friends with this one, she won't make me bard. Like the other smelly girl do.
"Don't call me Clarissa. My name is Clary, Clarissa is what my mommy calls me when I've been naughty and I haven't been naughty. And I'm almost four. I will be four on Friday." She says her eyes light up.
"No way!" I jump up and down and see her looking at me funnily. She raises both eye brows at me in a questioning way. "We have the same birthday!" I say excitedly bouncing towards her.
"Really?" I nod enthusiastically. "Yay!" She says and jumps and hugs me I hug her back and in an instant our friendship was formed.
I come back from my memory to feel Clary pull away from me and looking around our friends. I follow her lead and notice that all our friends are staring at us, I do all I can not to blush around them. Only Clary has seen me blush.
"Does this mean that Clace has happened?" Jordan asks from the end of the table. What the hell is a Clace? "Ow. Maia what the hell!" He says and looks over to give Maia the evils. I bet she kicked him under the table. Or as Clary would say she scratched him with her 'werewolf nails'. She grows them so long that the look like they could be werewolf nails.
"What's Clace?" I ask and look around everyone at the table. Everyone refuses to make eye contact with me. I look to my side and see Clary slowly sinking down in her chair. I pin Jordan with a look. They know I hate making Clary uncomfortable and this is obviously making her uncomfortable. "Kyle, what is Clace?" I look at him with my 'tell me know' glare, as Clary calls it, but he just shakes his head. "Lewis?". I try Simon but I know its no use. Izzy would have his balls if he tells me. As I suspected he looks down and then at Izzy. I slowly shake my head and look towards my other best friend. The last resort, if he doesn't tell me I know the only person who would tell me would be Clary. "Fray?" I ask but he looks away as well. I'm pretty sure that I'm going to growl out the next word. "Anyone?" I look towards Clary and hope that she will tell me.
She signs and looks towards Jordan, sending him evils no doubt by the way he's slowly folding in on himself. She turns towards me and looks at me with eyes that say 'don't say anything after I've told you this that could be suspicious, I have enough on my case already'. And me being top best friend I know all of this from eye contact. "Clace is the ship name they have for us. They think that were going to end up together but like I've already told them. Nothing has or will ever happen between us because we're best friends." I hear her voice waver on the 'nothing has' part of her speech and wonder if she knows about our night together at the wedding, I know right now it's the only thing rushing through my mind.
Within a second though I burst out laughing. "A ship name… for me and Red… Oh my god… I can't breathe." I say out between my breaths of laughter, all the while trying to hide my feelings on the inside so no one knows. "You guys do know that Clary is like a sister to me right?" The words taste like poison on my tongue and I avoid eye contact between Clary and Jon. Clary because I know she'd see in my eyes that I'm lying and Jon so I don't see the sympathetic look that he will have in his eyes. I glance towards Clary and see that she's looking towards Jon a small crease of confusion between her brows. In an instant it's gone and she turns towards me. I avert my eyes so it doesn't look like I was watching her and she hits me in the arm.
"We get to see Coldplay tonight." She grins up to me and I remember the gift momma Fray gave to us and Grin back to her. "The show starts at 7 do you want to come back to here before for dinner or shall we order a pizza in?" She asks looking excited, not caring about our other friends being too excited about Coldplay.
"Let's stay at home. We can have a Coldplay session where we just lazy around eating pizza and waiting for it to start?" I suggest. No way I can bring her here and not end up wanting it to be a date and blurting out all my feelings.
"That's a brilliant idea we'll do that! Start about 3:30? That way we can get about two and a half albums done before we have to leave?" She says practically bouncing in her seat.
"Yeah, I'll drive us on my bike then shall I?" I asks trying to hold in my laugher. She grins up to me, I know how much she love my bike, that's why I asked. She's slowly leans towards me and asks me with her eyes to bend down too, I do and she leans over to whisper in my ear. I have to hold back the shiver that her closeness brings. And then another when her breath fans across my neck.
"Can we go to that place again and can you show me how to ride it again? I want to be able to tell my mom that I can ride one before I can nag her to buy me one." She pulls away after asking and gives me the puppy dog eyes. I really can't resit them, the thought causes me to chuckle. I look into her eyes and lean down slightly to talk to her, forgetting completely about everyone else at the table. It's nothing unusual. We normally do this every time we're out with our friends.
"Yeah of course I'll take you. We had fun last time if I remember correctly." My grin must be breaking my face how big it remembering Clary's failed attempt at wheeling my bike a few weeks ago. I can't help the laugh that escapes my mouth and agree to go to the place before I take us home after the concert.
I get to Clary's room at 3:30 and we spend the afternoon singing Coldplay songs and jumping up and down on her floor. I'd say dancing but she would disagree. When 'Fix You' came on I couldn't help but bow in the middle, hold my hand out to Clary and ask, "May we dance?" I hope she doesn't see the hope in my eyes but then she places her hand in mine and replies "We may." Which makes me laugh remembering the line from the end of frozen that she had on when I first came into the room. She knew how much I liked the film and also knew that I would tell our friends that she still sleeps with 'Mr. Blanket' when we have thunderstorms.
I place one hand on her waist and she places hers on my shoulder. I intertwine our fingers and hold them out to the side and above us. I can't help after a few minutes pulling her against my chest. I let out a little sigh and try to commit this moment to my memory, moments like this are what help me to function and act normal around her, as long as I can get these moments everything should be fine.
Clary places her head on my chest and releases a small sigh. I lay my head against hers and have to resist the urge to kiss her hair. The song changes but all I can think about is 'I finally have my girl in my arms' and I never ever want to let her go. I unconsciously pull her closer to me but I don't think she notices as she tightens her hold on the front of my shirt. I gently place my lips against her head and kiss it. Hoping that she doesn't feel it. She doesn't stiffen or pull away so my secret kisses remain secret. The song changes again and I just carry on holding her. My hands spread across her small back.
I forget how tiny Clary is when I don't have her in my arms. It's why she makes such a good cheerleader, and vice-captain of the team. Izzy being the captain. I start to think about her cheering at all our games and think back to the time two years ago when she had a fight with coach about running on to the field when she seen that I had been knocked off my feet and had to be taken off on a stretcher because I'd badly sprained my ankle.
"I don't care if I'm not legally family! I need to be with him! You don't understand coach!" She screamed at him
"I don't care Little Fray." The coach used the nickname that all the teachers had for Clary. "Jace isn't your brother Jonathan is. If he was injured I'd allow you back in the room with him, but since its Jace and you are not his family I suggest that you take your tiny toosh and go back to the cheer team." He says and goes to turn away but our little fire ball escapes out of her cage and lift her hand and points it towards coach's chest.
"No! You listen Coach!" she makes coach sound like a curse. "I will be going back there with Jace and if anyone else complains you tell them that if they want to keep their little friend," She holds out her pinkie, "And their friends then they will leave me alone and nothing bad will happen to their friends. You understand now?" She asks coach using her sickly sweet voice whose colour has drained from his face.
"Of… of course Clary go on through." He says and slowly lowers his clipboard to cover his 'Little friend'. I struggle to hold back my laughter as Clary smiles and runs towards me and tells the men carrying the stretcher that we can go now.
A smile pulls on my face from the memory. I listen to the music and realise that one of my favourites is playing 'Yellow' I hum some of the words and move my hands slightly down towards Clary's hips. She must be lost in the music because she doesn't realise.
"Clary! Jace" I heard Jocelyn call and loose go of Clary. Breaking whatever music induced spell we were under. "You're going to be late for your concert!" The feeling of peace is gone and there is undeniable tension around Clary and I that night. We don't speak getting ready to go to the concert. Clary doesn't attempt to make conversation and neither do I. They only time I speak to her is to ask if she wants to go on my shoulders to see. We don't speak after that. We don't go on my motorbike like we planned we just leave the concert and go home. As I'm making my way towards my bedroom in Clary's house I think back to the moments in Clary's bedroom and back even further to the night that is slowly piecing together in my mind.
Clary and I definitely had sex the night of her mother's wedding. But I'm not sure Clary knows. She acted a little weird around me the day after but when we woke up the next day, after our almost kiss in the living room before her and Seb called it quits. I don't want to be the one to remind Clary about it. I will keep the secret bottled up and not tell her until I can blame it on something else. Maybe if we have a party next week we can get drunk and blame mentioning it on that, we handle our drink better than our other friends so we'll be the ones awake whilst everyone else is passed out drunk. Then I think back and remember the look in Clary's eyes the morning after the wedding and realise that she probably knows but doesn't want to bring it up.
I'll respect her wishes and not bring it up yet. But one day I'll have to. I can't keep this a secret, especially from my best friend.
GOD I'M SCREWED! Was the last thought that I had before my head hit the pillow and I was instantly asleep.
Thank you everyone for reviewing! I'm sorry about the long wait for this chapter but I've not had much chance to write these last few days with college being stressful, but on the plus side I've almost finished! Woohoo! More time to write!
Anyway than you to 'Guest' who suggested Jace's POV! It was a great help and thank you to everyone who reviewed!
And cheshire15 I promise that they find out soon! I'm just going to try and build suspense and make it more amazing when they do find out.
Please again REVIEW! I really appreciate every single one of one of you who review and take your time out of your days to read my story! I'm rambling I'm sorry! Please Review!
Review!