Chapter 10: A Matter of Aesthetics, Part II
(See notes below)
Stormclouds crept over the horizon.
"Don't worry...I'm faien..." Sae blurted lazily with a dry, raspy throat.
Under closer observation, the damage was worse than she imagined.
Sae had her work jacket hanging on her back like a weary traveler on the side of the road.
Her workshirt, usually white, bleached, and pressed of every crease that crossed Sae's eye while on the ironing board, was damp, dingy, and wrinkly around the collar.
Her long, silky, smoky hair was now a matted, billowy gray cotton ball, with strands snaking down the side of her head.
And now...Makoto had to face this Sae.
"No...you're not," Makoto said. "You're drunk. In public. In...a graveyard..."
"What are you, my mother?" She looked droopily down at their mom's grave. "You don't have dat right."
"You can't be serious...I'm not trying to replace her. She's our mom! I miss her as much as anyone would."
Sae arm became outstretched, attempting to track Makoto's afterimage. "'As much as anywon wuld,'" she said mockingly. "You miss her 'cuz you hafta. The same wayyou mis' Dad 'cuz you hafta." Her voice became even hoarser. "You an immatur' BRAT. A bookworm who spent her time in hur roohm readin' everythin' on the Earth' inste'd of gettin' a clue." I can't escape what I feel just like YOU can. Just 'cuz...you didn' kno' Mom as long as I did. I can' stop bein' angry 'cuz Dad was an impulsiv' jerk."
"Sis..." she said, her larynx seizing. She started to extend a hand out to Sae. "Please...that's not true. Here, I can barely hear you. Let me take you home. We can come back-"
"I DON'T WANNA COME BACK!" She then slapped Makoto's hand out of the way. "EVUR!" She stumbled for a moment. "Everythin' Dad said...about the force doin' good. Bunch of bullshit careerists, and I hav' to play the game. Because of Daddy."
Makoto's face twisted in confusion. "What are you even saying?"
Sae gave a disconcerting, smug grin as she pulled out some loose change from her pocket. "You see dis?" she said in garbled language, her right eyelid down halfway. "This coin 'ere?" She put it on her thumb to flip, but it fell on the ground. "Wel...if it flipped...you understand...that's what it boils don' to...chance."
"Chance?"
"IT'S A FUCKIN' GAMBLE. Getting criminals...nobodi' takes me seriously 'cuz I don't have wrinkles like the rest of 'dem. Or THESE." She motioned towards her breasts. "I can't move up at this rate. WE DESERV' BETTER!"
Makoto's blood started to boil at Sae's spectacle.
"I hope you get that, Ms. Beep Boop."
Makoto took a step forward, balling her fists. Beep-Boop?
"You're so naive. You're goin' to end up like me, whether you like-"
Makoto slapped Sae, putting some needed color on her face and making her spill the change in her hand.
"No...I won't," Makoto replied curtly, yanking Sae's flowers out of her hand.
Sae continued to linger with her head down, staring at Dad's grave, sober for a brief moment. "What...are you doing?"
Makoto paused. "Doing the right thing: being your dear, sincere sister." She laid Sae's carnations on their mom's grave and clasped your hands. "You should head back and sleep. I'll join you later tonight. If you bother to wake up."
"But..."
Makoto closed her eyes, head down. "You should take a sick day as well."
"But...promotion.."
"BUT NOTHING!"
Sae staggered trying to straighten her back. "...I'm sorry. I'll...get going then." She trudged a bit, the same way she came. "I still love you...all three of you," she muttered.
Makoto continued to pray for the health of her family in silence. The prayer, for the first time, felt meaningful. It felt needed.
Though, now, there was one issue still on the table. A fork she would approach when she was done praying: where she would go home tonight.
The twilight strobed through the windows of Akira's tram.
While their car was shaking around, Ryuzaki shook his head in between sips from a bottle of iced tea. "Gods, that's so sad. He still keeps those books around?"
Akira shrugged. "I guess so. I don't understand why he can't throw them away."
Ryuzaki sighed, thinking back to a time when Sojiro's self-loathing over "that" woman led to more empty whiskey bottles. "I have ONE idea. Too long of a story, and well, there are more pressing matters at hand."
"Such as?"
Ryuzaki capped his drink. "I'm moving up to Tokyo."
Akira's eyes lit up. "Seriously!?" Akira was midway in raising himself up, but the tram slowed down at their destination.
The pair and their pets exited out of the tram and walked the short distance to the shrine. "It'll be a small studio, so no bunking. Sorry."
Akira's hopes ebbed.
"But I'll be around. The people at the Meiji Shrine needed some extra help. Public events and such. There was a senior opening. I took it. The small stipend will be enough."
The two reached the shrine walkway, making sure they bowed in front of it. They walked down a long, sylvan pathway that led to the main buildings with the offertory box.
The pair then made sure to clean their hands and mouth at the shrine fountain.
Akira smiled cheekily, hoping it could hide his modicum of worry. "Going to eat bean sprouts for the year then?"
Ryuzaki then smiled awkwardly. "Don't go joking around like that. You know some people actually live that way...BUT, I know what you're asking. I won't be breaking the bank. I'm a priest, not an ascetic." He then looked down at his canine companion, sitting patiently and quietly. "You'll have some space too, Koro-san."
Akira sighed in relief. "Good; though you seem pretty hardcore compared to most other people at the shrines. They think its a cultural heritage site. You going to proselytize to them?"
Ryuzaki grinned. "No. I intend to enlighten them."
Akira then took a long look at the dog. "So...the dog? You holding it for someone? How long?"
"Who knows? The owner, a lad same age as you, said he'd be in China of all places for several months. Considering where he was going, he thought the dog was getting too old to keep up with him."
Koromaru laid himself on the floor, grunting in something akin to indignation in humans.
"China eh? Tā huì zhōng wén ma?"
Ryuzaki chuckled. "Cute. And yes, he knows enough. For you, you should keep practicing; it'll take a while before you can switch between languages as easily as your mom."
"Yeah..."
Koromaru whimpered, worried by the expression on Akira's face.
"What's wrong, boy?" Ryuzaki then saw Akira's face.
Ryuzaki sighed. Well better now than never. "So about your mom...you talk to her at all?"
Akira nodded, the wisecracks now harder to escape his throat.
"You doing ok after that?"
Akira cleared his throat. "Yeah...I'm doing fine."
"Are you really?"
"Yeah...perfectly fine."
He stared at his face and blew a jet of air out of the side of his mouth. "...You are not fine. What did she even say?"
Akira gave himself a minute for his thoughts to settle. "It's what she didn't say that was troubling...How long has she been sick?"
"...What makes you say that?"
Akira sighed hotly. "A hunch. Intercoms. Public phones."
"...You're just guessing."
Akira stared at his uncle, eyes steady. "I believe in hunches. Even thin ones."
Ryuzaki shuddered and hunched his back, shaken by the look in Akira's eye.
The same one six years ago.
Ryuzaki became visibly pained. "...When we were growing up."
"Why...Why did she never tell me?" I mean, she's mopey…but… "I may be no doctor, but she looked healthy."
Ryuzaki shook his head. "Our parents, the old coots they were, saw it as an 'unspeakable disease.' The kind that makes you ruminate on things too much. A 'poison of the mind' that made her too…'different.'"
Akira sat on the steps with a snarl on the corner of his mouth. "For you, I suppose it's bad enough to be talked about so euphemistically. 'Poison of the mind,' eh?"
"I'll admit, it's unfortunate. Even now, I don't know what this poison is. I'm making sure the more qualified people can figure out for me. Knowing you, you'll lose sleep playing internet detective if I give you any details about symptoms and such. So I won't go further than that."
Akira felt his chest tighten. "Just...at least tell me why they were scared so much."
"Your grandfather thought she would never be successful if anyone found out about it. He was that paranoid. And we had this silly thing called 'the Amamiya family name' back home to consider."
Akira shook his head, skinning his teeth. "So petty...it's their daughter, for god's sake!"
"I raised hell about it so many times, back when we were both in university. There were signs she was getting worse. But Dad told me off, even threatened not to fund my Waseda tuition if I brought her to a doctor."
"And you didn't do anything!?" Akira yelled, putting his chest forward.
Ryuzaki stood still, his heart jolting slightly. "She was distraught enough to the point of…well…I rather not say. But I was young and brash then; I told her I would drag her to the nearest psychiatrist if she wasn't going to do it herself. But...she refused. Raised even more hell than Dad, the stubborn woman."
Akira became limp in the shoulders, the fire in them snuffed out. "...Why?"
Ryuzaki laid a hand on Akira's shoulder and touched it gently. "...I don't know. it's a weird thing, the mind. A foreign place that makes people slide on short notice. She was at times the most, stubborn, goal-oriented, perfectionist of a woman you would see. And then others...the most self-loathing, temperamental creature you would ever meet."
"...Yeah, sounds like Mom alright." His legs were heavy, so he sat in the lotus position in front of Ryuzaki. "It's a shame...I just feel like...in the corner of my mind, I knew something was up with her."
Ryuzaki leaned slowly on his right knee to meet him, eye-to-eye. "You were a kid. Things don't come all at once. It's not your fault."
"...Thanks."
Ryuzaki then leaned forward, his head on his fist. "You know, you do remind me of her in so many ways. The good and bad. It frightens me a little."
"Why you say that?"
"Because I see a glitter in your eye like hers. One that allows you to charge through anything thrown at you, without a care in the world. We all have it; yours, in my eyes, shines the most intensely. And then...I remember when your sister died. How quiet you became. That permanent, tortured scowl on your face. Kind of like the one you have now. Your dad, the meathead he is, thought you were just stressed over school when you didn't shape up after the funeral as fast as him."
Akira gave a wet, choked laugh. "That idiot..."
"Understandable why you wouldn't be alright. And then juvenile hall...I know you try to hide it. But I can see it still in the micro-creases of your eyes when you clam up."
Akira, out of self-consciousness, looked at the ground. "...Well, I can't say juvenile hall, with their provisions against interacting with other inmates, made me a well-balanced individual."
"I'm just saying...I'm always worried. Stuff like that...growing up around overbearing parents, being a shut-in, at home and in prison...stuff like that rubs off and sticks to you." His eyes drooped slightly. "Society has a bad habit of doing that. Putting people in small rooms, imprinting their external aura on you. People like y-."
"Mom?"
"...I suppose so."
Akira's head though sunk down further. "Hey...you think Mom will ever come back home?"
Ryuzaki smiled sadly. "I can't say. She asked me not to say. And-"
"Yeah...I know. I would have done a similar thing."
"...Spoken like a true acolyte." He then attempted to lighten up the mood. Like uncle, like nephew. "What, you anxious for her to get back so she can take custody of you already?"
"Nah, not that...Probably wouldn't feel too good facing her anyway. I'm just funny like that."
"Ren...you're acting like you're not worthy of forgiveness. That or don't feel like you're up to the task of facing Home again."
"...Believing you're worthy and feeling you're worthy are different things. Seeing your Mom cry when they roughhouse you into a police station does that. And don't get me started on Dad. I don't even want to imagine being a mechanic for the rest of my life. No matter how much I like tinkering."
Ryuzaki exhaled slowly as he reached into his sleeve. "I think you should take this and head back." It was a plain, white letter with no return address. "Read it when you have the time. Don't make a scene when you do."
Ren squinted his eyes. "...Thanks for the encouragement." Jackass.
"Let us pray quick; it's starting to get late. I'll need to handle some stuff over here at the shrine, but before we pray, I'll just say this: sometimes in life, you have to look at the long-term." He pointed up at the sky, now coal-black from the thunderclouds strolling in. "Life is kind of like trying to gaze at the moon and the stars. It may not seem like the stars will ever come, but they will, at some point in space and in time. It's all just a matter of aesthetics."
"...I'm lactose-intolerant, you know."
Ryuzaki grunted. "Just make the offering already."
They bowed; dropped their 5-yen coins; clapped twice, left hand in front; and bowed again.
Ren then left with Morgana in his bag.
Morgana then wrestled himself out of his bag halfway between the main grounds and the archway. "Hey...Akira, you alright?"
"...I'm alright. Ish."
Morgana whimpered. "...We're only scratching the surface with you, aren't we? I don't think even Sojiro's coffee can fix it."
"I don't expect it to."
Ryuzaki stared ahead. "Ahh LeBlanc...right." He then pulled out his phone and rang Sojiro. "Hey Soji."
"It's Sojiro, jackass. You bringing him back yet?"
"He'll be there in about an hour. Bring out the premium stuff. He'll need it."
Sojiro sighed through the speaker. "...Shit. Loose cannon or mopey mess?"
"...I don't know yet at this point. I can only do so much my way."
"A coin toss. Got it." Sojiro then hung up.
Ryuzaki then saw a news alert on his phone. "Sudden passing of key figure in the ruling party means bailout bill stalls in Diet. Asian stocks expected to plummet." He then sighed, as another moonlight neon-blue butterfly landed on his shoulder. "What a great world I've left him with." He then turned to the butterfly's friends, which were flying across a now-peeking moon, speckling.
"Gods forgive me for my hesitance."
"About time."
Ryuji opened his eyes lazily. "Food comas are the best."
"Except when you snore," Ann pouted.
"You're still here!?"
"Of course she is," Ryuji's mom said, still cleaning in the kitchen. "She's a lady. She doesn't eat too much."
Ryuji chortled under his breath. "Tell that to the tab she collects at Big Bang Burger."
Ann then slapped Ryuji over the head. "Stop being Ryuji, Ryuji."
"What?! What does that mean?"
Ann let out a groan. "...Nevermind." She then twirled one of her bangs, lost in thought. "Hey...you think you could walk with me over to the hospital?"
"You made it over here fine. Why you asking now?"
Ann continued to alleviate the jitters in her hands by stroking her hair. "...Shiho's awake. Her parents told me over the phone earlier today."
"Wait, seriously?!" he said, raising himself off the floor.
"...I'm nervous."
"Why!? You should be happy!"
"I am... I really am. I'm just...I don't know what to say. I thought I wouldn't be speaking with her for a while. Then she wakes up, and I'm drawing blanks. Maybe..if you could be there, it wouldn't be so-"
"Shitty?"
Ann frowned.
"...Fine. I've been meaning to drop by anyway."
Ann gave a half-smile. "It's not that far. I can walk home when I'm done."
Ryuji propped himself off the floor. "Ma, I'm going to walk her home."
"Alright sweetie. You're being such a gentleman today, what's gotten into you of all things?"
Ryuji shrugged. "...I just feel like it."
"Modest as always. Don't forget an umbrella!"
"I know!"
"Doubt it," Ann quipped. "You never pay attention to the weather."
"I do!"
Ryuji and Ann went outside and walked their way to the hospital down a side alley.
"I STILL remember all the times you decided to rush to school in the rain because you were running late and didn't look out the window."
"...True. I mean...it was just rain, though."
Ann sighed. "Tell that to the person who used to deal with the wet dog smell after."
"...Yeah...used to."
"...Used to..."
There was a brief, but painfully awkward silence.
Ann broke it first. "...L-let's talk a bit more once we get to the hospital."
Akira and Morgana walked a lonely side street from Shibuya, lined with lamplights that streaked into the horizon.
Even on the train, Akira couldn't help but be fixated on what was inside the note. And as he got ever nearer to LeBlanc, his stare got ever more intense.
"You've been staring at that thing for a while."
Akira kept mum.
"Akira, are you listening to me?"
"Can I pretend not to?"
Morgana snarled and pounced on Akira's letter. "Gimme that."
"Hey!"
Morgana, with its felines, tore open the letter's top. "Ooh, 50,000 yen!"
"Give it back!" Akira then swiped the letter back.
"Now you have an excuse to read it."
"...I was going to wait until I got back."
Morgana sighed. "We have quite a way to walk back; better you read it now while you're walking."
Akira grunted. "Fine." He pulled out the small letter and pocketed the cash. "Mom doesn't usually do this card type of thing on Mother's Day."
He prepared himself and sat down on the curb under a streetlight, in front of a closed convenience store.
He took a deep breath and looked at the first line:
Son, I write this to you in a somewhat alright mood. Not like the last time I called.
I blame my new meds. They make me dizzy. I should complain to the doctor.
When I have the energy to.
By now, your uncle probably blabbed about my 'state of being.'
There were noticeable taps of the pen on the period in the letter.
I just wanted to say that, regardless of what I am, I'll be your mother always. Even if I (Dad especially) am not the most well-equipped at being it.
That's why I'm sorry to say that I'm now unfit. A shattered porcelain bowl. I'm too shattered to show myself to you with my head held high (pride is a staple in functioning members of the Amamiya family).
Life will lead you to that. You start off being pristine, but life throws you anything, including the kitchen sink. And it leaves more cracks. And then...you just collapse.
It's times like this where I envy my brother's strength and curse my g reatest failing: willpower. It seems to glue you up just fine. I guess Dad didn't leave enough room for that next to good marks.
And now, I sometimes wish for a calming eternity, for my soul to exhaust itself-
His mom left a line through the last sentence.
Damnit.
Sorry. I don't have too much paper, and I only have restricted access to pens, the jerks. Not much room for perfection here.
"Ma..." Akira uttered out.
Morgana's ears drooped. "...Sorry. You know, you can pace it out if it-"
"No...It's not that long anyway." He continued:
You should be more important, I'm just being self-indulgent now. From changing your diapers to dealing with your poor sleeping habits, I can say that you are indeed my son.
The best parts of me.
Akira swiped his damp eyes. Just...a few more lines.
I've done all that I can in regards to that.
But soon, whether you like it or not, you'll have to be responsible for someone's wellbeing. At the end, I hope that when you're somewhere out there in the world...you'll get rid of whatever bad things I left behind (at the very least, find someone to help you with that, like I'm doing).
And in place, you'll find something, or someone else, to fill the missing space.
And, knowing you, you'll probably do it with the most exquisite golden lacquer.
Take care of yourself.
The Ray of Light on the Shore,
Asahi Amamiya
P.S. Seriously, at the very least get into the top 10. Pretty please. Your uncle mentioned it was probably around midterm time, and I won't let that stand.
I'll kill you if you don't.
Akira gave a damp chuckle and sniffled.
He put the note in his back pocket, feeling the urge to spring forward from the concrete he sat on, knowing now that at least one parent didn't hold a grudge.
"You doing ok?" Morgana said.
"...Yeah. I think I am. I just wish...there were a return address."
He checked the time, the thought that perhaps he could stop by Takemi's for a bit in his mind.
It was fleeting, though. Prepping, and cleaning his dirty ass room once and for all, felt better to him at the moment.
But in the meantime, Akira knew for sure one thing, something that he derived from the deluge of Amamiya wisdom, and from the tugs on his heart:
Father Society liked to add more to everyone's lists of problems.
And that made him angry.
A righteous 'angry' that makes a person demolish the World as he or she knows it, and creates another one.
A better one, he hoped.
Ryuji and Ann were still silent when reached Shiho's room in the ICU, the rhythmic beeping of the monitors filling the silence.
Shiho was awake by a sliver as thin as the opening in her eyes. "H-hey...my two favorite people are here. Together in the same room."
Ann nodded. "He finally showed up, didn't he?"
Ryuji straddled his head. "Y-yeah..."
Ann then moved over to her side. "So...how you're doing..."
Shiho smiled weakly. "Just fine. The medicine helps." She then held her dispenser. "They even let me dispense it, believe it or not. Though, it's not much." She then grunted, tensing up from an unfathomable pain. "Like I said, not too much." She then upped the dosage.
Ryuji at this point looked at the floor instead of Shiho, in a faraway corner. "You sure we came at a right time, Ann? She doesn't seem up to it."
"She's awake now."
Shiho made an extra effort to smile. "Don't be...too...hard on him. He's just..."
Ann sighed. "Fine."
Shiho continued. "So Ryuji, I hope you're doing ok. It's been a while since you have talked."
"Yeah...it has. I've been busy."
Yeah...busy, she thought to himself. Busy not letting me in.
"Ann, do you remember the last time we were at Enoshima Park?" Shiho said.
"Uhh...yeah I think."
"Such a quiet, peaceful place. That time we rented out a boat for a ride on the lake...you remember that, don't you Ryuji?"
Ryuji looked apologetic. "I rather not. I don't think I'll ever suggest to Ann again she should row."
Ann blushed. "Hey, I wasn't that bad of a rower, damnit!"
Ryuji smirked. "You were."
Shiho eked out a laugh.
The three reminisced a long while before Shiho drifted back into a deep sleep due to a cocktail of fatigue and opiates. Ann in the meantime hovered over Shiho, still anxious.
Ryuji decided to walk over to Ann's side.
Ann retracted herself and looked over to Ryuji. "I just wish she could have been awake for longer." Her phone buzzed again. The same app with the red-eye icon kept making the phone vibrate. "Sorry, I keep on getting this weird phone app on my computer after I try trashing it."
Ryuji then had an "OH SHIT" look on his face. "Well, l-looks like you should get a new phone then."
Ann sighed. "But my parents got this one Christmas time. Such a waste." She then turned off her phone. "Sorry...it was stupid anyway to bring it up."
Her eyes were drawn once again to Shiho.
"She'll be fine," Ryuji said. "Give her some space."
"You think...we'll be alright, though?"
"...We?"
Ann bit her lip and darted her eyes away from Ryuji. "The more I think about Shiho, the more I can't get that bastard Kamoshida out of my head. I mean, Shiho still trying to fight for her life here. I can't just expect her to tell on Kamoshida if anyone even wanted to listen to her at school. I want..I want to destroy him. I want to erase everyone's he touched. Otherwise...I feel like things won't return back to normal for all of us."
"Ann..." Ryuji scratched his hair anxiously hand and paced around, tempted to say the most immediate thing to calm her down. "Just keep your head low for the week."
Ann raised her eyebrows. "I knew it. You were planning something."
"Shit, no, I mean...GAH!"
"I didn't expect you to blab your secret plan that easily."
"I didn't say there was a secret plan! Why you gotta put words in my mouth?"
"I don't. It's on your spazzy face."
Ryuji snarled. "You should stay away from me."
"What, like before what you were doing? That doesn't work now. If you're doing something, you're including me in the plan."
"Nuh-uh. No way."
"Asshole."
Ryuji groaned. "You're so annoying."
"Screw you! She's my friend! I tried to protect Shiho by hanging out with Kamoshida. She'd threatened the worst for her, and I..." she then choked on her words.
Ryuji darted his eyes, tempted to call Ann out for her appeasement like before. His guilt though stopped him. "I'm doing this to protect you."
Ann was hot-red. "I DON'T NEED SAVING!"
Ryuji growled. "Of course you do! I say so! Do you know why I got so pissed off when you tried hanging out with Kamoshida? I literally spent the entire last year, separating myself from the track team, Shiho-" he pointed a finger at Ann-"you! Just so, if Kamoshida wanted to be an effin' prick, he'd do it to me instead of all of you."
"Ryuji..." Ann felt guilty. "...You could have done something about it."
"...I know. But I'm not a planning guy. I mean, the only thing to my name was just track. Not great at school, and I suck at home. Heck, I can't even cook well enough to give my mom a break on Mother's Day. I just...I just wanted everyone to be alright, that's all. I'm...such a meathead, and I can't change that. But at the very least...I can do that."
She smiled sadly. "...You are indeed a meathead."
"Just...don't follow me. If things go bad...nevermind."
A flash of thunder punched through the room.
"Shit! I forgot an umbrella! I gotta outrun the rain!" Ryuji then went off sprinting.
"Goddamnit...RYUJI! YOU IDIOT! YOUR UMBRELLA'S HERE!" She rushed out to the hallway, holding it.
"Keep it! I'll outrun the rain!"
"That's not how..." Ann then looked at Ryuji's umbrella and smiled, blushing a bit. "Idiot. Shielding me? You need me at this rate." She then stared at Shiho. "I guess I'll have to stalk Ryuji and that Akira kid at this rate."
Just to be sure, Akira popped up in front of TMC. He saw the neon-red sign saying "Closed," but he took a swing at the door to make sure. The door handle wouldn't budge. "Tomorrow, maybe. It was getting late anyway."
As he strolled down the path of incandescent lights, another thought sprouted in his mind. Crap...my room is still a mess. I'm gonna need to clear as much stuff as I can if I'm going to complete my 'piece de resistance,' after another stock-up trip to Iwai.
LeBlanc was now in his view. Still open for me. I could use some coffee if I'm going to stay up a bit, tinkering.
He opened the door to find his friendly neighborhood doctor at the bar, sipping coffee with an umbrella next to her stool.
"Absolutely delicious," she said softly, lapping the dribbles on the rim of her glass. "Good as always."
Sojiro seemed satisfied with the answer. "The beans are from Jamaica this time."
"Coffee interferes with sleep you know," Akira interjected.
Tae gave a glare, one that conveyed the anger of being lectured over medical decisions by a sassy brat teenager.
"Don't be rude, boy," Sojiro said. "Forgive me, he's a bit rough around the edges."
"I know," Tae said, still frowning. Her stoicism seeped back in. "What brings you here?"
"I live here."
She raised an eyebrow. "Here? What a coincidence." She turned to Sojiro. "Don't like to share?"
"Not enough space," he responded.
"...Right," Akira responded. "Keeping an exotic animal in the extra room at your place down the road?"
"None of your business," Sojiro snappily replied. His temper softened quickly, however, as he had a fresh cup filtered for the boy. "Drink it now. Don't be shy."
Akira stared at it for a while. "I didn't even ask for one, though."
"A certain nagging in my ear told me you need a mother's comfort tonight. This here was...well...when I let a special lady slip away. Something about her leaving made me come up with the flavor profile here to help with that. Jamaican beans...and a little 'touch.'"
"Uncle likes to blab, doesn't he?" Akira said with slightly less tension in his face. He then took a sip. As he implied, it was like a warm hug. It was a thick brew, coating the inside of his mouth. Strong too. I'll definitely be up for a while.
I don't need a hug though. I just need...to fix. Everything. Not MY "everything." The "everything."
It also helped his more sardonic thoughts flow out smoother. "Special, eh? I've been reminded as of late that I keep on losing the women around me." Two...turned to three now? Tae meanwhile kept sipping her coffee. "I should probably stop doing that."
Sojiro sighed. Sounds like mopey to me. "You're too young to be sounding like me."
"I didn't know a bit of time in a cell made you get older."
"C'mon, you're just a kid. Punk or not, that's no way to live your life so bitterly. Believe me, I know."
"Saying that from experience again, o wise sage?"
"Take me seriously, just this once. I know about-"
"I tried to take you seriously for the past week. Which is why I ask this: why then do I get the feeling you're so numb, and you just don't do anything about it to correct it? Like you're asking me to stare at you and say that you're a voice worth listening to?"
Tae couldn't help but be alarmed by his rudeness. Especially to a rather pleasant host like Sojiro.
"What you need a hug?" he said defensively. "You had the coffee for that. Don't get bitter now, like the brew I served."
Akira chortled. "Oh, bitter? At the very least, bitter implies there's some fire in you left."
"What the hell does that mean?"
Akira let loose his grievances.
"Do you know what keeps me up at night? The thought that, when all of this here is over, and I go back home, I'm going to turn as lifeless and exhausted as you, someone who'll tell himself that bitter is like the taste of coffee. Hell, I already felt like I treaded that stream since I came to Tokyo, at one point or another. I'm just so sick of it, assuming my heart needs soothing. It doesn't. It needs to be angry because otherwise, I won't make a dent in anything. School wants me to be docile like you. The police want me to be caged, like you. Hell, even my idiot dad wants me to be in the service industry like you. Only it's with cars. I don't WANT that. This fucking path laid out for me...the one YOU'RE showing me with your wrinkles, your little cubby hole, and your inability to update your fashion. All the while there are more people like me, getting screwed over."
"...Get real. The world doesn't work like that. You think that way, all gung-ho like you are now, you only going to get destroyed by it."
"Is that why you placed this coffee shop in the ass end of western Tokyo, instead of somewhere people could appreciate coffee and curry? By all means, if you prefer just to run away, then make shit coffee and curry. Then nobody will come to you, and you'll be happy and alone. But you don't. You still cling to the wish that things would be different; it's in your attitude, your inability to upgrade your fashion sense. But wishing things to be different, by making great coffee for anyone barely coming in and complaining about; and by drinking a quarter of your little whiskey bottle on the shelf every week, perked up by whoever is calling you on the other end of the flip phone amounts to nothing. If you don't do what you know in your heart needs to be done...you're not living."
Sojiro couldn't form any words.
"But by all means, even if you throw me out of here, I SWEAR I'm at the very least going to do something, And I'll do it to keep me...and other people from being the person you are now."
Akira for a second feared being dragged by the hair with his box of stuff in his hand.
Instead, Sojiro looked lifeless, unable to speak.
Sojiro, then grabbed his fedora. He exhaled heavily. "...You're the harshest of the Amamiyas for sure. It's sad; You're right. Now...I'm going to go before I actually do kick you out." He grabbed his jacket and left LeBlanc without a word, ambling out of the door like a zombie.
Akira then took a deep breath, now aware of what he had done. "Sorry. It was nice coffee." He turned to his left to see Tae, with a slightly stunned look on his face.
Being stared at, she switched back to a bored smirk. "You need to say something?"
"If you couldn't read between the lines. That medicine...the answer's yes. You'll get your test subject."
"Good. Tomorrow then-"
"Aah, but hold on."
Takemi frowned. "That medicine is already worth a small car if big pharma sold it as name-brand. That isn't enough for you?"
"Look...I know it's probably too much to ask." He balled his hands in his pockets. "Add whatever stipulations you want. On top of the medicine, I need you to find someone. Someone who doesn't want to be found yet."
"Why would I be able to help with that?" Tae replied, her arms crossed out of skepticism. "People who don't want to be found have a reason why," she added, glaring with intent.
"...She's...being treated in a mental institution. This person...I just want to know where she is. I'll just be fine knowing where she is for the time being. When it's the right time, I'd like to thank her in person. I'll put that on my list of things to make right..."
This was the first time Akira saw Tae dart her eyes down in sentiment. "I can't guarantee anything. If you haven't heard, I'm called the Plague. I'm ostracized from the Japanese health community. Plus...I don't deal directly with mental institutions."
"It's a small favor. It would make things easier at this point."
She sighed. "...No extra stipulations. Just be a good test subject next time you walk into my clinic." She then began to walk off.
"...Just like that?"
"Just like that." She then opened the door midway before stopping. "This person wouldn't by chance be an immediate relative?"
"That's correct."
"...Sorry; the way you were yelling...made me wonder if you shouldn't get checked out. Make sure it doesn't run in the family."
Akira narrowed his eyes. "Just take solace in the fact that if I'm a nut...then I'm a nut with a case. Have a good night. I'll lock the door behind you."
She returned his response with a small smile and a nod. "Have fun working off the caffeine."
As promised, he locked the door behind her as she opened her umbrella and strolled outside. Just in time, too; it's starting to rain quite hard.
He then let Morgana out of the bag. "Sometimes, I think you are your worst enemy."
"I know. But...I need to be true to myself. All the parts of me. Else I'll just...snap again." His eyes dimmed. "So does good ol' Soji." He then went upstairs and began to clear up the rest of the cluster around the bookshelf under the blue tarp. "The kid that believes in good and evil and superhero capes; and the bitter teenager that gets angry enough to do something. I'm starting to believe being both is going to keep Kamoshidas and anything worse from ever coming into existence...and turn Presidents into righteous Queens."
"Wait...are you implying you're taking back what you said at the infirmary about just stealing Kamoshida's Heart?"
"I'm saying Uncle, even though he's awkward with aphorisms, is right. Kind of. I have to think long term. Not like 'helping you with Mementos' long-term, or like 'seeing my Mom again;' both are nice and dandy. The type that forces the world to be good when others force it to be not. That type of vigilance. So yeah, you're kind of right."
Morgana pouted. "What are you talking about? I'm always right."
He then smiled. "Plus...there's always something. In people like her. Prez. In all of us... I have to believe in it, that there's something worth protecting. Otherwise, there isn't any hope for Mom...for Makoto...for me. Even Sojiro. Like I said. Sort of right."
Morgana smiled. "And here I thought I was going to get to you. And let you still include "her" in your agenda, you hopeless romantic. Progress is progress, though; it's always exciting to see."
Akira cringed. Gee, this cat sounds like the Nose right now. Makes me think they were cut from the same cloth.
Morgana continued. "Still, we still have a gym teacher. No point in acting like a superhero yet."
"Meh. I consider myself more like a Holden."
"What the hell is a Holden?"
Akira smiled. "...It's from a book I read. A book my Sis showed me. It practically was her bible. Anyways...you're right. My plans only work if Kamoshida pans out well; definitely can't be using the power of the Other World if it kills whomever I steal from. But for now...the world gets fixed first with this pigsty I call a room."
In a few minutes, Akira, energetic from the coffee and moving quickly due to the fire lit under his ass, cleared out the tarp and the dumb fern planting it in place, and put Sojiro's remaining books where they belonged: behind a bag of coffee grinds.
After a good sweep of the floor, Akira took a small amount of pride in what he had accomplished. "I deserve a cold shower." A quick shower and a good shampooing later, he found himself in his lounge clothes, drying off his hair downstairs, about to turn off the lights and turn the sign around.
Then...she came under the light. The shops out in the street were all closed, so it was pitch black, and the outside light over LeBlanc's door cast her in sharp silhouettes. But, the hairband, white and glossy from the heavy rain outside, told him everything.
At this point, there wasn't any hesitation left in him. He walked calmly to the door and opened it, still drying his towel. She's just covering herself with her leather bag. I can't let her get soaked anymore at this rate.
He opened the door and motioned her to come in. He saw her staring at him, the rain dripping from her hair, around her reddish-brown eyes, and down the blades of her face.
Sharp like trimmed glass.
She then let herself in, holding her bag with two hands in a humbled position. "Thanks for letting me in. I-"
"I'll get a towel. We...can talk later."
He was to turn around when she gently grabbed held his waist to keep him from moving.
"... I know I'm being selfish. I'm not expecting much." She gave the faintest squeeze. "I...rather stay here tonight."
Akira, about to take Makoto's arms off of his waist, locked halfway. His hands, he decided, were to stay on hers. "I...wouldn't mind. I'll...figure out the details in a bit."
Makoto began to settle into his back. "Would your guardian mind much?"
"No," Akira said, pivoting around. He then steadied his eyes on her. "He won't mind it." It doesn't matter at this point. I'm not letting you back out there in the rain. Not when the trains have stopped for tonight. "Just tell me what's happening while you're drying your head."
Outside down the street was a man dressed in a dark tracksuit holding an umbrella and wearing black aviators.
"So, you go the bad boys, eh? Stupid bitch," he said, groin throbbing.
He walked over a few blocks to where he parked his white sedan. "Kobayakawa might think I'm being paranoid. But he's wrong. They're working together, I know it; that punk's address is here." He then had the sharpest pain and everything he saw turned purple and faded. Not this again...ever since that stupid whore jumped off the rooftop, I keep seeing things I shouldn't. Castles, knights...Kamoshida gritted his teeth. "It keeps on flashing in front of me in the middle of the GODDAMN day."
He took a deep breath. "I just need a break. It's just stress. It's been a while since I've been to Akihabara. It's late enough. I'll work off my frustrations enough. Junya can hook me up." He grimaced further, the pain in his crotch morphing into a twisting of the gut. "Shujin right now is all I have...it's too important. I'll get my time in the spotlight." The pain seeped into his face. "...I need to."
"Drink," Akira said, handing a cup of coffee to Makoto, who had a towel wrapped around her neck. "You look cold." He then left only the backlights on in the shop.
She sat herself in on one of the benches. "...Thanks." She then dumped in the insides of her belongings on the counter she was at: five thick notebooks, a history textbook on the Jomon period, and a dirty Buchimaru case. "I need to air out my bag." She looked at her belongings. "Still rather dry. It'll air up. I was worried for a moment. Some of these notes are from last year of all places." She then turned dour. "...I'm being foolish again. I should have looked at the weather forecast today before going out today."
Akira sighed. "You really are too hard on yourself, you know that? So...you slapped the shit out of your drunken sister, eh?" Akira said, his voice reflecting the situation's gravity. "That's...impressive?"
"Akira!"
"...Sorry. I have a bad habit of joking around in tense situations." He then had a hangdog look on him, playing with a loose curl hanging over his eyes. "And well...holding things in."
Makoto sighed. "I could tell. Though...I guess I'm guilty of the same thing." She then moved over in her seat. "You mind sitting with me?"
He smiled softly. "I'll oblige." He planted himself next to her.
"...It was quite terrible, seeing my sister like that. It's funny; I looked up to her ever since Dad died. Part of me thought she was the closest thing to him, considering she acted like him. Mom died when I was quite young. For me, was just a distant memory compared to Sae; she's six years ahead of me, after all." She then sunk her head. " And her hatred...acting as if Dad cursed her from the grave...I guess all of it...it's too soon for Sae."
"Guess not." He cleared his throat.
"I'm just sad that I wasn't in tune to it later. I...don't want to become like what she is now. Maybe...I could have gotten her the help she needed. I can't..."
"For the record...I think, for what she was saying, she needed that slap back to reality."
"You think so?"
Akira nodded. "Take my word for it. In your position, I would have done the same thing. That, or drag her back home myself. Anything to save someone I loved from the brink of madness, I would have done it."
"It's just...a bewildering experience to see, seeing how past trauma makes people act so...dramatically."
"Not to me. Stuff like that sticks to you. Make you do...drastic things."
She turned her head, getting the sense that Akira included himself in that statement. "You don't mean...like up on the roof?"
Akira was now sealed shut.
She reached out to hold his hand. "Sorry. You don't have to say it. I was just extrapolating."
He squeezed tighter back, bracing himself. "No. I'll try. I...don't want to explode like last time...not with you." He took a deep breath. "My life has had some pretty absurd turns." A pause. Then: "When...my sister...got murdered by a serial killer...well, you can say that's where I got my outlook on things from. My lack of belief in rules and such. It hurt even more since the chief in my town, the guy supposed to spearhead the investigation, could have seen it a mile away. He twiddled his fingers." He turned slowly to meet her eyes, fearing a bit she would look upon him with fright. "So...up on the roof...I guess that was me still taking the death of a female too personally."
An ordinarily demure Makoto couldn't help but wince in the face of such events. "That's awful...though...if you don't mind, that still doesn't explain what happened with your mother."
Akira took another deep breath. "I just...I look back on it, and some details, even then, didn't surprise me. I already had the expectation to be screwed over by the police." He laughed uncomfortably. "I feel so bad. I must sound like an asshole, shitting on the police like this. That 'foolish' person you keep talking about is your Dad I bet?"
She smiled sadly. "Your intuition is on point. Please, though, continue if you want."
"Alright, then. So...there's was a guy I saw, heading back home from cram school. I wasn't a big fan; I was the type of person who'd prefer to study in my room through the night. Then, out on the street comes a bald guy in orange glasses. Drunk out of his mind. He's harassing a lady, telling her to get in his car and shut up. I could already read between the lines."
"That's distressing..."
"So I tried stopping him. Not like how I would have done it when I was younger; growing up a bit made me timider; I tried to pull him off of her instead of...something else. He stumbles and hits his head, giving him a facial scar. He threatens to sue me and yells the girl he's trying to assault into testifying for him. It works. She doesn't testify. He even flexes his status to order the responding cops to drag me to the station and charge me for assault."
She looked visibly upset. "...And that's how you got here."
"And that's how I got here. The way he boomed at her...it wasn't surprising to me at the time. And my parents...being an only child...affects your decision-making." Akira suddenly felt tired. "I'll stop here."
"That's...insane. To have that happen to you...it's understandable you'd hate a lot of things. "
"I won't lie that I harbor...a dislike for certain aspects of authority as they are," he said regretfully.
"...Does that include me?" she said, leaning forward towards him. "I wouldn't blame you. Back there...I was tone deaf. Not in tune with...what people were dealing with as I should have. You included. I was only concerned about winning...kind of like my sister, based on what today showed."
A quick pause, as she bowed herself further towards the booth cushions.
"I forgot that authority is supposed to protect the weak. Like...how Dad would have said. At least...I hope he would have said such a thing."
Akira sighed heavily and gently raise Makoto by the chin. "Look...I don't hate you. I just...I took it personally. That's all. I'm sorry." He then laid his head on the vertical cushioning, meeting Makoto's focused glare. "I just..." He started to give the sheepiest of grins. "I just like seeing the Makoto that's goal-oriented and cares for other people, that's all. Maybe...you're starting to make me feel...invested in that side of you." God, you're so lame, Renren...
Makoto turned red and yet leaned even closer to him. "O-oh? W-well, I-I'm not so sure how to feel about that..." she said while smiling bashfully.
A large boom came from overhead. After that, the power went out. Akira stood still, but Makoto shuddered and grabbed his arm.
"Uhh...Makoto?"
"Uh, i-it's nothing! I-it's not like I-I dislike the dark. I-I just..."
...So cute. "It's ok. This is coming from someone who imagined himself as a ghost haunting the wicked when he was 10. Whatever you think it's weird or silly...I've probably topped it."
Whatever tremor was in her voice was now in her arms.
"Umm...are you going to be ok?"
"...I know this going to sound weird...but can I pet your hair?"
"...Huh?"
"Umm...this is really embarrassing. But I have a Buchimaru plush at home. A big one that I hug when it gets really dark...a-and...y-your messy hair look like Buchi-kun's fur."
"...Buchi-kun?"
"I know, it's stupid, a-and-"
"Chill. Just...pet my head." ...Well, I didn't see this coming. He laid back into Makoto. "At...your service, your Majesty?"
"You're not helping! Ok then..." She dug her hands into his hair, and to her surprise, it felt just like the aforementioned plush. ...Maybe even better.
Akira, patronized as he was, couldn't deny how good it felt for Prez to hold him by her chest, to hear the pitter-patter of her heart drift into his ears.
To feel physically tethered to the world.
He then realized it was getting late. "Uhh hey...I just realized you need to sleep. I...only have one bed."
She was struck with a faint sense of panic. "Uhh...I'm just going to sleep down here, if you don't mind."
"Uh, that's actually for the best. The futon upstairs is not the best. It's just someplace to lay my back on."
She reminded herself of how dark it was in LeBlanc. "You know...I don't think the power's going to come on anytime soon."
"Probably isn't."
She rankled. "Just...stay here a while. P-please? I...always imagine someone is following me at times like this. I even thought I heard steps on the way to here. It's probably nothing; it's just my mind playing tricks on me."
"...Ok."
A few minutes later, the shaking in her arms calmed slightly, enough for Makoto to speak again calmly.
"...You know, you never told me why you call yourself Ren? I think you said it the first time you met...but I had a feeling you were lying."
"...You're right. My mom wanted to name me that. My dad, though, decided on Akira since it sounded manlier. I preferred Ren myself."
Makoto smiled. "You know, I just think I might call you that at this rate."
Akira dimmed his eyes. "No 'Renren' please. I cringe."
Makoto giggled. "I'll try not to."
A few minutes of silence passed.
"Sorry...but the thought's still on my mind. There's still all of these things on the agenda still. I haven't really thought of anything else we could do about Kamoshida and the principal."
"Well...it has been an eventful couple of days. President duties don't help, I assume."
"...I know. In particular, the Newspaper Club President has been cited for harassing students and..." She had an epiphany. "...faculty...including Kobayakawa..."
"Sounds like you have some inkling of a plan in your hands."
"I guess..."
"You know, I can't see you in the dark, but I have a feeling you're hesitant."
"It's risky. I can only guarantee Kobayakawa is held accountable to any degree. And.."
She then laid her left hand on Akira's breastbone, sending a chill up Akira's spine.
"What if I end up hurting you again due to a mistake I make? What if I...slip up again?"
He grasped the cold hand on his breastplate and looked up at her. "I won't let that happen. I promise you."
She hugged him tighter. "...Thank you." For you, Akira...I'll create a system that'll be the justice you seek.
That I seek.
Akira grinned. A roll of the die, it seems. And perhaps another convoluted plan. And yet...I'm still going to try. "What shall we try, then?"
She opened her phone and started texting a certain 'lackey' the following:
"Come tomorrow by the Council Room. It's time you started to help for a change."
Notes: Well guys, it feels good to be posting again. I hope, for those reading, that I've rewarded your patience.
And...eh. I know Makoto Nijima Week is still up. I did have some stuff planned for it...but honestly, I got so much into this chapter, I got sidetracked. We'll see if I'm up to posting some late submission(s).
Anyways, the final chapter (and all its parts) are coming next. Hopefully within a week (unless something comes up in my life that screws up my schedule again.)
Update: The final chapter, which will wrap up the Kamoshida arc, will be called "Heart(s) Stolen." Definitely shooting for a longer one, as my goal here is to make the main arcs in the game their own own semi-contained stories with the main story. So, I'm going to try my best to wrap up most of the character arcs established here. That, and set up for the next arc.
For the next arc, I'm definitely going to try for some more departures from the game's setup (Not so much different characters...actually no, if you've been following around the little nuggets and new additions I've included...you'll have a good idea what I have under my sleeve (*cough* butterflies :) ).
Anyways, really excited to get rid of some of the plod in this arc and move to greener pastures with the story. Character-driven stories are nice and all, but more original plot doesn't hurt.
Also, when I finish up the Kamoshida arc, I'll probably be posting some of my personal notes/critiques on the story (probably on a personal blog; we'll see.).
Stay tuned guys!
(Also it came to my attention that I accidentally uploaded Chapter 14 while I was doing a micro-update for the chapter. Sorry for any potential confusion there!)