Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2012 Fanfiction

Disclaimer: I do not own the rights to the TMNT franchise in any way, shape, or form. I am not making any money on this. It is just a labor of love for the series. Please don't sue me, Viacom!

Alternate Universe fic.

Warning: This chapter is another very emotional one! As I've mentioned before, if you are new to this story and are uncomfortable with the mature themes, you may want to stop here. As for the rest of you, shall we get this party started? ;)

A/N: OMG, ya'll! I got the next one finished early! WAY early, considering my recent trend. I'm so happy! (does a little dance) Thank you so much for all your patience and support. I really do appreciate it. I really appreciate YOU! :D

I'm trying something new this time around. It's small, but I'd love your thoughts on it. Chapter titles! I've given this one a title to try it out. If you like (or dislike) the idea of me starting to put titles on my chapters, please let me know! I sure it seems kinda silly, but I am really on the fence about this. I would love to hear your opinion!

Also, I have a huge announcement to make. My short story, Faith Unwavering, has been nominated in the 2017 TMNT Universal Reader's Choice Awards. I started crying when I got the word. I just couldn't believe it! I never even dared to think one that of my stories could ever be in the competition. To everyone who nominated me, I cannot begin to thank you enough for this honor. But I sure as heck am going to try! THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU!

I'd go some more, but I'm sure you all want to get to the story. ^^; Won't keep you too much longer. I just wanted to say thank you to CJtheStoryteller for her advice again and for helping me feel more confident in myself with this chapter. Love you, sweetie!

OK, I've kept you waiting long enough! Thank you again for all your patience. I really hope you enjoy this chapter! Please let me know if you do. I would LOVE to hear from you! :D

Chapter 19 - Crash and Burn

While Raph and Leo argued in the dojo, Mikey followed Donnie to his lab, but stopped short of going inside the purple clad turtle's sanctuary. Instead, Michelangelo stood in the doorway, silently watching the resident genius sit at his workbench and fiddle with a charred T-phone.

Tears blurred Mikey's vision as he tried to process everything he'd just learned. The youngest turtle barely understood what rape was. In fact, if it weren't for his brilliant brother, he probably wouldn't know what it was at all.

Twelve-year-old Michelangelo stared at the TV in rapt attention as his newest favorite cartoon flashed across the screen. Donatello sat to Mikey's left, sifting through the insides of an old radio he'd found. The brainy turtle preferred to search for salvageable parts in his lab, where he had all his tools at his disposal, but Mikey had begged Donnie to keep him company. The older turtle always had a hard time saying 'no' to his little brother; a fact the younger one loved to take advantage of.

During a lengthy commercial break, an ad for the community news came on with the following announcement: "Woman found beaten and raped in basement of local college fraternity. More at 11."

Mikey usually tuned out commercials for the boring, old news, but the graveness of the reporter's voice caught his attention. Mikey knew what 'beaten' meant, but he had never heard the other word before.

"That's OK!" Mikey thought, "I have the smartest person in the whole wide world right next to me!" He leaned closer to his big brother, but never looked away from the TV as he chirped, "Hey, Donnie!"

"Mmm?" Donnie absentmindedly replied while he continued to examine a diode he'd just pulled from his radio.

"What does 'raped' mean?"

A sudden pop sound snapped Mikey's full attention to his brainy brother. Donnie sat stock-still. His brown eyes were enormous as he stared at the glittery, white powder now coating his thumb and forefinger.

Mikey's own eyes went wide and he went to kneel in front of his brother. It wasn't like Donnie to break one of his precious electrical parts. Plus, that thingy had been glass! The youngest wanted to make sure his big brother hadn't hurt himself. The intellectual turtle had a unique talent for doing that.

Before Mikey could grab Donnie's hand, the purple clad turtle pulled it away and lifted his wide eyes to meet this orange clad brother's. "Uh…u-um," Donnie stuttered as he distractedly brushed his hands together over the junk box beside his radio. Disposing of the destroyed diode gave him the perfect excuse to break eye contact with his baby brother. He then began to shift like someone had dumped a can of ants into his shell before he scrambled to his feet. "I-I should go get Sensei. He'll be able to answer your question."

Before Donnie could even get two steps away, Mikey tackled him, making him yelp and knocking him to the floor. The genius looked over his shoulder in disbelief.

"I asked you!" the smaller turtle insisted as he straddled his big brother's carapace. When Donnie frowned, turned his head away, and obstinately stayed quiet, Mikey cocked his head to one side. "You don't know what it means, either?"

"Of course I know what it means!" Donnie snapped and shot Mikey a withering glare. Nothing riled Donatello up faster than accusing him of not knowing something when he did.

"Cool!" Michelangelo said with a bright grin, completely unfazed by his brother's anger. "Then you can tell me!"

Donnie's forked eye ridges relaxed and he blinked stupidly several times as it dawned on him that he'd just been had. He looked away from his determined little brother and let out a soft growl.

After the purple masked turtle doggedly went silent again, the orange masked one decided a little bribery was in order. "I'll," Mikey started, his forehead creasing in thought. His eyes lit up and he snapped his fingers before offering his brother the deal of a lifetime. "I'll let you have my second helping at dinner for a month!"

Even from his awkward vantage point, Mikey couldn't miss how Donnie's nose wrinkled. It was then that Mikey remembered his thinner brother was why Splinter now made them finish eating at least one serving before being allowed to leave the dinner table. Things just weren't the same ever since Donnie found that book about worms.

Frustrated at the rejection of his awesome offer, Mikey planted his hands on the shell beneath him and shoved at it, making his big brother sway, as his whined, "Oh come on, Donnie! PLEEEEEEEEEEASE?"

The genius' eye ridges drew into a worried knot. He lightly chewed his lower lip for a moment while continuing to avoid his little brother's gaze. "I really think Splinter would rather be the one to talk to you about this."

"But," Mikey started. His shoulders slumped and his face dropped into a long frown. He began to tap his forefingers together as he whimpered, "I want you to tell me."

Donnie looked over his shoulder. He watched the pitiful show his brother put on for several long moments. Then, the genius turtle let out such a massive sigh Mikey thought his big brother was trying to buck him off and grabbed Donnie's shell to keep his balance.

"You can get off me, Mikey," Donnie murmured. "I promise I'm not going anywhere."

The orange clad turtle blinked in surprise a couple of times before a merry grin stretched across his face. He plastered himself to his big brother's shell in an exuberant hug. "Thanks, Donnie! You're the best!"

A small smile touched Donnie's face even though his eye ridges stayed pulled together. Once Mikey had eased off his shell, the purple clad turtle pulled himself up to sit cross-legged in front of his orange clad counterpart. He rested his right elbow in his left palm so he could press the side of his forefinger to his lips as he racked his brain for the best way to proceed.

"Do you remember what Sensei told us about where babies come from?" the genius opened with, deciding he should ascertain what his hyperactive brother already knew. If only to figure out just how painful this explanation was going to be.

"Oh yeah!" Mikey declared with an excited smile. He clasped his hands together and began to recite what he remembered. "When a man and a woman reeeeally love each other, they make a baby!"

"Technically," Donnie interrupted as he aimed his raised forefinger at Mikey, unable to resist his need for accuracy. "A man and woman don't need to be in love to 'make a baby.' They just need to have sex."

Dismayed confusion immediately settled over Mikey's face. "But, Master Splinter said people needed to be in love to do that!"

Donnie winced at his little brother's shout and gestured for the other turtle to keep his voice down. "From what I've learned, being in love with the person you're having sex with is supposed to make the act the most amazing experience of your life," Donnie explained as he shyly scratched his cheek. "But it's not a requirement."

"How'd you find that out?"

"I read it online."

"Oooooo," Mikey declared in a sing-song manner. "You hacked Sensei's prenatal controls!"

"It's 'parental' controls," Donnie corrected as his entire face flushed red. "And I only did it because I could tell he wasn't telling us everything! If he hadn't abridged his lesson, I wouldn't have needed to do that." He crossed his arms over his plastron. "Besides, h-he really shouldn't use Miwa1996FEB01 for all his passwords. It's not a good security practice."

Mikey only clicked his tongue at Donnie and shook his head while running his right forefinger over his left a few times as though he were peeling a carrot. The blatant 'shame on you' gesture made Donnie's blush darken, and a low growl slipped out of him. Mikey, the eternal troublemaker, had no room to lecture him!

"Look, do you want to hear this or not!?" the genius snapped.

The smaller turtle stopped mid-finger swipe to gaze at his big brother. Donnie looked like he was ten seconds away from stomping off to his lab in a huff. If that happened, not only would Mikey never get his question answered, but he would lose his TV time companion for the day.

The orange clad turtle promptly hid his hands behind his back and gave his purple clad brother a nervous giggle/smile combo.

Donnie narrowed his eyes at the other turtle's attempt at contriteness. A single bead of sweat ran down the side of Mikey's face. The taller turtle then rolled his eyes while making a weary sigh.

"Anyway!" Donnie began. "The reason I brought up the fact you don't need to be in love to have sex is that rape..." He paused to clear his throat and banish the exasperation from his tone. When Donnie resumed, the sudden intense somberness of his voice wiped the smile from Mikey's face and made the smaller turtle scoot closer to his taller brother.

"Rape…is when someone forces someone else to have sex with them."

Mikey's eye ridges furrowed together. "I don't get it. Why would anyone force someone to do that with them when they just need to find someone else who wants to?"

"Even though it's a sexual act, rape tends to have very little to do with sex," Donnie answered quietly. "Dominance, power, and the desire to hurt and degrade the other person…those are reasons why one person rapes another."

Donatello shifted uncomfortably and tried to look anywhere but at Michelangelo. This was definitely not a discussion the brainy turtle ever thought he'd be having with his naïve little brother.

"Typically, it's a male forcing himself on a female. However, it's possible for a male to rape another male, a female to rape another female, and a female to rape a male," the purple clad turtle continued while closing his eyes and doing his best to focus on relaying the information.

Mikey swallowed hard and shook his head slightly. He just couldn't understand why anyone would want to hurt someone else like that. "How often does it happen?"

The purple clad turtle sighed yet again and went to grip his left forearm with his right hand. "Well, the Center for Disease Control estimates that 1 out of every 5 women and 1 out of every 71 men have experienced being raped at some point in their lives."

"'Estimates?' You mean…they don't know for sure?" Mikey probed, not liking the uncertainty in that statement.

Donnie opened his eyes and nodded, a little surprised at, and then, proud of Mikey's perceptiveness. "It's not clear how often rape occurs because many victims don't report what happened to the police."

"What?!" Mikey squeaked. "Why?! The police are the ones who make sure bad guys get punished! Why wouldn't they report it?"

"Because, um, m-many victims feel shame and revulsion about what happened. It doesn't help that many societies tend to make the victim feel like the assault was their fault."

Donnie saw the confusion all over Mikey's face and knew he'd have to elaborate. "For example, in the U.S., many people believe things like, 'Look at that skimpy dress she was wearing. It's no wonder that happened to her. She should have known better,' when it comes to female victims." Donnie shifted again. Just speaking the words made him uncomfortable. As though him saying them somehow validated them.

"What about for guys?"

Donnie sighed and rubbed the back of his neck before softly answering, "The attitudes and beliefs are just as harsh. 'A real man would have fought back! If he couldn't stop it, he must have wanted it.'" He paused to swallow as though he were trying to rid himself a bad taste in his mouth. "It doesn't help that freezing up or becoming compliant to an aggressor is an instinctive survival tactic for mammals. Then, there's the fact that a person's body responds to stimulation regardless of whether or not that stimulation is wanted. So, when it's over, many victims are left confused about why they reacted that way and disgusted with themselves for it. This just feeds into the misconception that they are to blame for what happened."

Mikey's wide, sky-blue eyes became pained. "It all sounds so awful."

The genius lowered his gaze to the floor, nodded his agreement, and murmured, "It's supposed to be one of the worst things one person can do to another."

The two turtles sat in silence for several long moments before Mikey spoke again. "Donnie?"

"Yeah?"

"Nothing like that's ever gonna happen to one of us. Right?"

The intellectual turtle's eye ridges instantly drew together. He crossed his arms over his plastron and tilted his head to one side. It was a question he hadn't considered before. "Well, assuming Sensei ever lets us leave the lair, it's unlikely something like that would happen at the hands of another mutant. I haven't been able to find anything that suggests we aren't the only anthropomorphic mutations in existence.

"As for humans, many of them would probably consider having sex with one of us to be bestiality." Donnie snorted indignantly and rolled his eyes. "Despite the fact that bestiality is defined as sexual acts between a human and a lower animal, and we are obviously not lower animals."

Mikey let out a quiet sigh and his shoulders slumped some.

"Of course," Donnie continued while lifting his right hand so he could rest his chin on top of his forefinger, "like I said before, rape is not about sex. It's about domination and making another person suffer. Under those conditions, it is entirely possible we may, one day, encounter an individual capable of putting aside societal mores and-"

A little whimper stopped Donatello's theorizing in its tracks. When he looked back at Michelangelo, he saw his little brother was staring at him again. A frown pulled at the corners of the smaller turtle's mouth and his chin trembled. His eye ridges were drawn tightly together. Tears wavered in those bright blue eyes that usually danced with joy.

Donnie's eyes softened at how distressed his brother had become and he attempted to shift a sudden knot in his throat. Then, he moved to sit right beside Mikey. He coaxed his baby brother into his lap, wrapped him up in his long arms, and rested his chin on top of the orange clad turtle's head.

"You're right, Mikey," Donnie whispered. His eyes slid closed as he felt his baby brother cuddle more into his embrace. "Nothing like that's gonna happen to us."

Donnie's words from years ago echoed in Mikey's head. They had given him such comfort then. But now, here the orange banded ninja stood, staring at how wrong those words had been.

Mikey swallowed hard but finally mustered up the courage to go inside the lab. As he approached his older brother, he could hear Donnie sniffling. The taller turtle kept lifting a hand to swipe the back of it over his eyes in a desperate attempt to stifle the tears that still wanted to flow.

It took every bit of willpower Mikey had in him to keep his own tears at bay, and even then, he only just managed it. "Donnie?" he said timidly once he stood behind his brother.

The taller turtle flinched at his name. An eternity passed before he spun his chair so he could face his younger brother.

Their eyes met for only a brief moment before Donnie lowered his again, but in those few seconds, the pain Mikey saw left him unable to speak. All the anguish Donnie had bottled up inside for more than a month now lay bare on his face. The sight made Mikey want to pull his poor brother into the tightest hug ever, but something told him to give Donnie space right now.

So instead, Mikey latched onto the only words he felt needed to be said. "I'm sorry." He paused to take a trembling breath before continuing. "I'm so sorry."

Donnie's gaze shot up from the floor and he stared at the other turtle with enormous eyes. "Mikey," he breathed. Then, he lowered his eyes to the floor once more while he shook his head. "You have nothing to apologize for. It wasn't your fault." He swiveled away from his little brother to pick up a soldering iron and continue his work. "Besides, I-" He swallowed down a sob. "I got what I deserved."

Mikey's eyes went wider than they ever had in his life as he gasped, "What?" He ran around to the other side of Donnie's workbench. "How can you say that!?" He put his hands on either side of Donnie's project and leaned forward in an attempt to make his brother meet his gaze again. "Why in the name of pizza do you think you deserved something so horrible?"

As Mikey spoke, Donnie squeezed his eyes shut and bared his teeth in an agonized grimace. His grip on the tool in his hand tightened until it shook right along with him. He couldn't take this anymore. Their concern, their determination to help him…their love. He wasn't worthy of any of it.

The taller turtle threw down his soldering iron, stood up, and finally bellowed out everything he'd pent up inside, "Because I was stupid enough to get caught!"

Mikey fell silent and stared at him in shock. Donnie moved around his workbench to stand before his little brother as he continued, "Because I-I was too weak to escape on my own! Too weak to stop him from…" He squeezed his eyes shut and pushed down a whimper that wanted to escape. "But, most of all, I deserved it because…" When he opened his eyes again, they locked with Mikey's.

The rest of the words died inside him at the sight of the tears swimming in Michelangelo's sky-blue eyes.

Donatello shrank away and hurriedly turned from his brother. Without another word, he fled to where Timothy's tank sat. He stood facing the brick wall beside the gelatinous mutant with his back to the other turtle. A tremor ran through him and suddenly he found it hard to stay standing. He brought his hands up to brace himself against the wall.

"Can't say it, can you?" his mind mocked, viciously. He choked back another sob and lowered his eyes to the floor. "Is it because you'll be robbing your baby brother of his innocence? Just as you were. Or is it because you can't stand the thought of him hating you for the rest of your pitiable existence?"

Hot tears began to make their way down his face once more. "Both," Donnie thought as he sealed his eyes
shut.

Mikey stood where Donnie had left him and watched the other turtle tremble. He could tell his brainy brother didn't want to tell him that last part. Or was afraid to tell him. He swallowed thickly before he moved to stand beside Donatello.

"'Nie-chan?" Mikey whimpered, his tears finally beginning to leak out.

Donnie's breathing hitched and his eyes flew open. His baby brother hadn't called him that since they were seven. He slowly turned his head to look down at the other turtle.

"Please...talk to me?" Mikey begged, making it impossible for Donnie to breathe. "Trust me?"

Donnie managed a shaky, painful breath and lowered his gaze to their feet. "I…I deserved it…because…" He took another ragged breath before finally sobbing out, "…because I actually considered telling Horse how to find the lair!" His eyes clamped shut again, but it couldn't stop the heavy flow of tears. "I tried so hard not to betray everyone, Mikey. I swear I did! But…w-when he started to-"

The genius' voice cut out on him, forcing him to pause his confession. His eyes squeezed shut tighter, and the whimper he'd fought off earlier found its escape. By the time he managed to summon his voice again, all that came out was a cracking, shame-laden whisper.

"I…" He turned his face away from his brother again and tried to hide it in the crook of his arm. "I just…wanted him to stop."

Mikey slowly shook his head as his tears began to flow faster. He couldn't believe what he was hearing. How could his most intelligent brother have gotten things so twisted? The smaller turtle made choked sound and covered his mouth as part of his brother's lesson years ago interrupted his thoughts.

"'A real man would have fought back!'"

Somehow, the purple clad turtle had gotten caught in the same mental trap as so many rape survivors before him. He'd convinced himself that he was to blame for what happened to him.

Mikey ground the heels of his palms into his eyes to smear the tears away. Then, he slid himself into the space between Donnie and the brick wall his brother stood in front of, making sure to not touch his big brother. Once in position, he opened his arms to the other turtle and tremulously said, "'Nie-chan? Can…can I hug you? …Please say yes."

Donnie made a sharp gasp, pulled his face from the crook of his arm, and turned his puffy, red-rimmed eyes to his little brother again. He stared down at the other turtle, incredulously.

Mikey was beginning to think Donnie was going to refuse him when the other turtle finally lowered his gaze and nodded his consent. The turtle in orange wrapped one arm around his brother's shell and the other around his neck so he could pull the taller turtle down to him.

Donnie tensed at first, but then, his resistance just vanished and he rested his chin wearily against Mikey's shoulder. The purple clad turtle trembled and let out a sigh that sounded more like a hiccupping sob.

"Getting caught because you were protecting someone else doesn't mean you're stupid," Mikey breathed into his brother's ear as he pressed their cheeks together. "It means you're brave because you knew what could happen if you stayed behind and you did it anyway." His grip on his brother tightened fiercely. "And it took everything me, Leo, and Raph had just to keep Nightmare away from you and April, bro! None of us could've handled him on our own. So, you're not weak! In fact…" Mikey paused to snuggle his cheek tighter to Donnie's, "…I think you're stronger than all of us."

The purple clad turtle's breath snagged in his chest at the orange clad one's declaration. Then, he shook his head vigorously and tried to pull out of his brother's embrace.

Mikey released Donnie from his hug, but grabbed his brother's face with both hands to keep the taller turtle from retreating completely. He also wanted to make sure Donnie saw just how much he meant every word he was about to say. "It doesn't matter that you thought about telling him! What matters is that you didn't. You had a way to make him stop hurting you, but you didn't take it. Instead, you kept us safe while he did all those awful things to you." Mikey swallowed around the lump he felt growing in this throat and tears began welling in his eyes again. "I don't think me, Raph, or even Leo could've have done that!"

"Mikey…" Donnie whimpered as he shook his head in his little brother's grasp.

The smaller turtle gently pulled his brother back into a hug. "I know you don't believe me right now…but you didn't deserve what he did to you." He took a shaky breath when he felt Donnie finally wrap his arms around in him in return. "Not one bit."

Upon hearing those words, Donatello finally lost the battle to regain his composure. He let out a shell-shuddering sob and lowered his head onto the shoulder being offered to him. With the last of his energy reserves now spent, his entire body started to go limp and his knees buckled.

Michelangelo's eyes went wide when he felt the genius' legs give out on him. He quickly tightened his grip on the taller turtle.

"I've got you, 'Nie-chan," he assured his grief-stricken brother as he carefully eased them both to the floor. Once there, Donnie curled into a ball against Mikey's plastron. Sobs racked his body and showed no sign of slowing any time soon.

Mikey clutched his older brother to him. Burning tears started to slide down his face again. His eyes clamped shut as his face became pinched with anguish. He, then, began a gentle rocking motion and desperately nuzzled Donnie as he murmured, "I've got you."

A/N: Oh my poor, poor boys. :'( So many tears went into this chapter. I really do hope you all enjoyed it! (hugs)

Before you go, I have two notes on Mikey's little nickname for Donnie in this chapter that I would like to discuss.

First, I'm sure some of you saw it and went, "That's not how you spell the Japanese word for big brother!" You are 100% right. In Japanese, big brother is usually Onii-chan or 'Niichan. Originally, I had considered having Mikey call Donnie that here. But then I started thinking about how much Mikey likes wordplay and to make up names. So…what if this habit of his has been around for a while? That was when it occurred to me to have Mikey call Donnie "'Nie," the end of Donnie's nickname, with "-chan," a Japanese honorific that shows endearment, attached to it. It's pronounced the same way as the Japanese word for big brother, it shows how long-lived Mikey's fondness for wordplay is, and it's something cute that a child who has a hard time saying Donatello's full nickname would use. Which makes it all the more heartrending for Donnie to hear his little brother use it now. And how does Donnie know it's 'Nie-chan and not the proper 'Niichan? Because Mikey made sure to explain the awesomeness of his new nickname for his brainy brother, naturally! XD

Now, on to the second issue. I would not be surprised if some of you know of Culinary-Alchemist and her wonderful TMNT AU series, One Small Turtle. If you haven't read it, go check it out. It's an amazing story. However, if you have read her story, then Nie…probably sounds very familiar to you. It did to me as well about 5 minutes after I had the idea for 'Nie-chan in my story. The last thing I ever want to do is make another author feel like I am stealing their ideas. So reached out to her. I told of my idea and how it crossed over with hers. Then I asked for her guidance on how to proceed. If she wasn't comfortable with my alternate spelling of 'Nie-chan, then I wasn't going to use it at all. Thankfully, she gave me her blessing, which is why you see it in this story.

So, there you go! I feel better having explained all that to you. :D

Thank you all again for reading! Please don't forget to favorite, follow, review, or even simply comment on this chapter. It would mean the world to me. (hugs)