Hello... It's me.

We meet again. I want to say a massive thank to everyone who has read this and have waited for a very long update. Two years since not posting anything has sucked, it truly has. I've had unpublished chapters for all my stories staring at me and I just couldn't update. I wasn't happy with my work anymore... Life is a weird, but curious thing. I was luckily enough to visit Florida back in October and I got the chance to visit Harry Potter World in Universal Studio's. Let's say the moment I walked into Diagon Alley, it made me think how much I missed Fanfiction, how much Harry Potter influenced me to write here and create ideas of what we want to see.

Warning/Disclaimer: Not Beta'd and also this does not belong to me.

Chapter Six: Gone Forever

{Past Memories}

Lucius paced the floor of one of the many bedrooms in Malfoy Manor. His eyes couldn't meet his lover who was currently sitting at the edge of the bed in the room, waiting for him to speak. He had been ill, the past month he had been spewing his heart's content out nearly every morning. Lucius knew the signs, his wife going through them herself.

But this was different. The child she was carrying wasn't made from love, it was made because it was one of the points on their marriage contract that had to take place. The child he was carrying was made from love, a child that was wanted by both he and Severus.

He would love the child Narcissa was carrying equally to his and Severus's child, but there would always be a difference between both children when born.

"Lucius what is wrong?" Severus asked. Lucius looked at him, feeling a flutter in his stomach by the darker haired man's voice. He moved closer, stepping between the man's open legs. A small smile started to form at his lips at Severus's worry.

"I need to know what is wrong with you. Please tell me." Severus asked again, his hands snaking up from his lap to the man's waist.

"Nothing is wrong." Lucius said calmly, watching in amusement at how young Severus looked when the worry dropped from his face.

"Then what is the matter?" Lucius brought his hands to his shirt, unbuttoning it all the way until a long strip of skin showed. He brought one of Severus's hands off his waist, placing it on his lower stomach. He watched his lovers eyes go wide as they both felt a flutter of magic under his skin, Severus breathing in deeply as he brought his wide eyes to look up at him.

"Lucius, are you... are you telling me you're pregnant?" Lucius raised an eyebrow at his lover; the answer was clearly shown in his eyes. He watched the mask of coldness slip away from his lover, revealing his relaxed young features. Lucius gulped at the raw emotion in the man's dark eyes.

"Lucius..." he spoke softly and slowly. Severus's hand started to trace his stomach, a crooked smile beaming up at him, one that he hadn't seen in what seemed to be a very long time.

"You knocked me up Snape, scandalous! The potion finally worked on me." Lucius smirked, taking in the rare moment of pure joy on his lovers face…

"I have your devil child growing inside me, feels like a duel going on in there." Lucius patted his hand on the top of his seventh month pregnant stomach, earning another kick from his unborn child. He looked up to meet the gaze of his lover who was leaning against the post at the end of the bed, watching in slight amusement.

He watched Severus slither on the bed and onto his side so that his head was near Lucius stomach, an elegant potions stained hand making its way near his own hand as another kick was felt.

Severus chuckled and lifted his blonde lover's shirt so his hand came into contact with skin. He came closer, shifting upwards so his lips were close to his unborn child.

"Xeryus, I'm warning you that you're not a Qudditch player. Refer from kicking your father and me." Severus said softly as his lips met Lucius swollen belly. They both felt the baby move, another kick aimed were Severus lips were.

"Takes after you Severus. I think the name Severus junior shall fit." Lucius chuckled at his lovers startled face as those dark eyes were now locked with the tiny bump under his skin.

"How are you feeling Luc?" Severus asked, his long fingers tracing the tiny raised bump, making Lucius shiver at the touch.

"Other than hungry I am fine."

"Did the healer say anything of importance?"

"Healer Archer said everything is on track, our son is very strong and they have arranged to bring him into the world on the 31st July Sev." Lucius put his hand on top of the other on his stomach, both feeling another strong kick from their child.

Severus gritted his teeth together, closing his eyes and trying to rid of the bad thoughts forming around his precious views of his loyalty to Lord Voldemort.

Lucius sighed, instantly knowing what the dark haired man was thinking. "Severus it couldn't be helped that you missed this appointment. The Dark Lord needed your assistance," he paused as he watched Severus lay his right cheek on his swollen belly, little movements being made by their son. "The Dark Lord said something, didn't he?"

"Yes, he certainly did," Severus closed his eyes, listening to the swishing movements and small heartbeat of the one thing that was his happiness. "He wants to be close by when the child is born."

"What did you say?"

"He wasn't as pleasant as usual, I had to compromise that our son will be at a meeting when we think is best."

"I can't see why he would be interested with our child, unless the dark lord has seen something." Lucius said in deep thought, trying to think why the Dark Lord was keeping secrets about their unborn child.

"And we both know he has." Severus answered as he gently rubbed his lovers stomach, listening to his son who he would protect from a certain mad man's world.

"Mr Malfoy would you like your partner to help you bathe? There's nothing like skin-to-skin contact for strengthening attachment between parents and baby, especially with parents that have a bond." Lucius nodded to the midwife, watching his lover with pride as Severus looked lovingly down at their new born son, who had a tiny hand wrapped around Severus's index finger.

"Right my work here is finished for now. You're going to be sore for the next month and I'll visit soon to see your progress, just don't forget to keep up with the afterbirth plan, I need to make sure you'll heal properly." The midwife said, packing away her bag and leaving a long list of potions for Severus to brew for Lucius.

"We will, I'll be making the healing potion every day for Lucius to keep his stomach from re-opening and infection." Severus hushed quietly, not taking his eyes off his son.

"Very well then, my job is done for now. Congratulations to the both of you, you have both brought a strong little boy into the world. No doubt about it that he'll be a heartbreaker when he's older."

"Thank you," Lucius gave a small tired smile, watching her leave through the door to check up on his wife's own progress with Draco.

Severus slowly got up from the rocking chair and walked to the bed, sitting down on the edge with his new born son in his arms. He didn't care that his face was tear streaked and that he was half naked, all that mattered was this precious moment that he would cherish forever.

"He has my mother's mismatched eyes, hers were green and grey." Lucius gave a sad smile to Severus as he brought a hand to stroke his sons head.

"I seem to remember, a distracting precious feature. Heartbreaker he will be indeed."

"Especially with my looks," Lucius chuckled, raising his hands up to take hold of their son, gently taking hold of him from Severus, bringing him close to his chest. Lucius kissed the mop of striking blonde hair.

Severus sat down besides Lucius, taking in the moment that his son was finally here. He couldn't believe that he was given a son and that he was going down a new lightened path of being a father. Severus was going to try his best; he was not going to anything like his own father. His child was going to grow up loved. He placed an arm around Lucius, smiling at their precious moment.

They both watched him in interest, Xeryus's eyes closing softly against pale skin. "He's beautiful our son, don't you think Sev?"

"Breathtakingly beautiful," Severus whispered, kissing Lucius's neck.

"You, my dear son have been wanted for a very long time and even though you are of course my second son, there will always be a difference. When I look at you now, here in my arms I will always see both your daddy and me within you and the love you were made from. I'll always be thankful that you have come into our life, even if it is the darkest time our world is facing. You are our light in the midst of darkness." Lucius said softly, stroking his son's face gently.

Severus shivered as the cold air hit his naked chest as he got out of bed and shoved his dressing gown on. Lucius snored lightly and moved over, and he rolled his eyes at the sleeping man. He groggily made his way out of the bedroom and into the next one, his eyes landing on the crib in the room where his son was sat up and wide awake.

"Dada!" The baby screeched, throwing his little chubby hands in the air for his attention to pick him up. Severus reached the crib and looked down at his son, his dark eyes meeting the mismatched ones of his very Slytherin son.

"So Xeryus, you pretend to cry to wake me up very well knowing that I would come to your aid?" Severus raised an eyebrow at the blonde haired boy, a smirk forming at his lips.

"Dada dada dada dada!" Severus chuckled as his sons actions as he picked him up, bringing him onto his chest. His index finger came to his son's temple, pictures of red eyes and masked figures passing his eyes.

"You are Slytherin through and through son," Severus quietly said as he kissed the mop of blonde hair on his child's head, watching Xeryus snuggle into his neck. He smiled at his son who looked at him like he was the best person in the world.

He felt hands snake around his waist and was lightly pulled into the warm body of his very Slytherin lover, who placed his chin on his shoulder and looked down lovingly at their child.

"Paaaaaaa!" Both parents smirked as Xeryus's eyes lit up at the sight of Lucius.

"I think you will be always be a night time type of person won't you Xeryus, hmm?" He raised an eyebrow at his son, bringing his true family closer in his arms as Xeryus started to clap and giggle at him.

"He woke from the sight I'd red eyes Lucius, but you weren't frightened were you son? You just replayed last week's meeting with the Dark Lord." Severus lightly traced his fingers around his sons left temple, replaying the dream.

"Draco is the opposite, he's been having nightmares."

"Is Narcissa on talking terms yet?

"No, but the present that she will wake up to might just change her mind."

"I doubt it Lucius, she is after all a very stubborn woman," Severus paused, watching Xeryus snake a little hand under his robe. "It's bothering me that the Dark Lord knows something still about our son, but he deems it necessary not to let us know until the time is right." Severus admitted, gritting his teeth at the thought of the Dark Lord knowing something about his son and he won't give up until something lets slip.

Severus sighed, holding his son tighter, wanting to protect him from a world of darkness that was going to come.

(Present Time)

Suffering.

Pain.

Darkness.

Light.

Hope.

Happiness.

Betrayal.

Those seven words Severus knew very well, the suffocation of them surrounded all his memories that surfaced the pensive in front of him as he watched them over. Some were of Lucius's memories, ones that hurt to remember like his, infused into one pensive.

They both had nothing to hide from one another.

Severus knew he shouldn't have brought it here, not with Potter in the same building but his night terrors were getting worse. He was never an easy sleeper when it came down to nodding off and dreaming.

It irritated him that he could feel stress and worry concerning Harry Potter and that the boy had locked himself in his bedroom all night after getting thrown out by the boy's magic. Severus had been up nearly all night listening for the boy to leave his room with no luck of him leaving. He had watched the memory of what he had seen over and over again, trying to gather a certain feeling of seeing abuse again.

"Have you heard anything?" Lucius asked as he came out of the bathroom, tying his hair back to the nape of his neck. Severus tapped his pensive with his wand, vanishing the memory from view

"Nothing, after all Potter isn't the lightest on his feet, but I would of heard him by now coming out of his room."

"Ahh but Severus, we really don't know that? After all if Potter was using his duplicate around you, I can very see that the boy is opposite from his own duplication. There might be some traits the same, but everything else is a character that we have all truly known." Lucius admitted as he sat on the bed.

"What are you going to do about the scars you saw on the boys back?"

"I do not know. I believe Lupin probably knows and Albus has over looked it. After all I remember being told that Potter asked to stay at Hogwarts in his second year and the Headmaster passed it off."

"I'm surprised this matter hasn't been looked into. I find it suspicious that Dumbledore never kept tabs on the boy's home life. If Potter truly wanted to he can take the man to court as the headmaster was his marginal guardian."

"I better go see if Potter has stopped the bleeding on his back. Looks like his house elf had everything under control…"

"It's okay you know, I'm not going to judge you for helping the boy even though he is the boy we very don't like. Potter is a child Sev, an abused one at that." Lucius admitted. Severus nodded, walking out of their guest room and shutting the door closed.

Severus slowly walked to the boy's room, growling at the creaky floor boards. He reached the end door in not many strides from his temporary room, the door slightly open like the night before. He put his palm against the door, slowly pushing it fully open.

His eyes searched the room, the blood on the floor gone without a trace the incident ever happened. Severus took a step into the room, his dark eyes tracing the room for anything that stood significantly out of place.

The room was spotless.

Severus over the years knew 16 year olds were messy creatures, his 5th and 6th year Slytherin's proved the point beyond messy. Their dorms proved worthy of pig sties, mixed with the added bonus of danger zones. He didn't even want to know what lingered under their...

He stopped the thought that was pictured his mind, after all that was the experimental stage in teenage hood.

This room though was anything but a pig sty, which surprised Severus. He had noticed how smartly dressed Potter was yesterday, and it was very different from the oversized clothes the boy normally wore.

Severus moved over to the dresser near the window, taking in the things that were on top. His fingers moved to trace the framed picture, his throat tightening with emotion. The picture showed Lily, spinning in the autumn leaves around her, her face alight with pure happiness. Severus let his fingers fall, skimming over the slightly open draw.

His eyes fell to the glimmer of light that escaped the draw. With slight curiosity Severus pulled the draw open, his eyebrows rising and eyes glinting. The light slightly hovered out of the draw, revealing a shallow stone basin, which was indeed a pensive and an expensive at that with the engraved runes and symbols.

Severus brought back the memories in the front of his mind of the boys Occlumency lessons. Potter didn't have a single bone in his body for the art of the mental arts.

"What of all things are you doing with a pensive Potter?" Severus muttered to himself, bringing his hand to swirl the contents of the pensive. He watched as a fat man rose from the silvery contents, his face flushed with anger as he punched Potter into a dark small room, the boy falling to the floor holding his bloody nose.

"You are a freak Potter! You belong besides your dead parent's boy. Make one more noise and Dudley's cane will see to your back you little shit!" Severus watched as the man walk out, slamming the door shut behind him. We watched as Potter brought his shirt to his bloodied nose, the boy hissing in pain.

Severus swirled the pensive again, feelings rising for Potter that he hadn't felt for the boy.

Ever.

The next memory rose, the headmaster's office coming to view, a younger Potter walking into the office. Severus guessed it was the end of the boys second year.

"Harry my boy, take a seat." Dumbledore beamed to Potter, who took a seat in front of the old man's desk. "Something on your mind Harry?"

"That's why I am here Professor," Potter paused, the boys forehead creased. "I know there is a special fund to let a couple students stay in the school over the summer holidays. Can I put myself forward?" Severus's eyes slightly widened, he was now going to witness what the headmaster said to the boy, and Severus was going to know the truth.

"Harry my boy; I know how much you want to stay here. But unfortunately you don't fit any of the criteria. You have a home with a family, they look after you very well from what I can see."

"They don't sir. I swear..."

"Now now Harry, you simply need to stay put I'm afraid." Severus watched the boy's face crumble with lost hope and the headmaster just looked away. The old fool must surely knew back then, looking at Albus closely he noticed the lack of twinkle in those eyes.

Of course he bloody knew.

"You agreed with Professor Dippet to let Tom Riddle stay years ago, and in a way his circumstances sir are the same as mine." The boy said quietly, twisting his hands in his lap and looking down at them.

"Enough Harry, you will always safe at your aunt and uncle's home. Now, isn't it time you go to your next class?" Severus watched as the boy nodded, getting up and walking out of the room.

Severus swirled the silver liquid again this time facing a very skinny, grey and bleeding Potter. The boy was standing, leaning against one of the hospital wings walls as Madame Pomfrey attended to his slashed back. Blood was everywhere on the boy, ribs popped out in an unhealthy way. Potters normally plump face hollow, his bone structure sticking out. This must of been not that long ago.

"Harry, I'm truly sorry my boy. I have failed you." Dumbledore said quietly, staring at the boys back in a painful look.

"You know what old man? Fuck you, fuck everyone!" The boy snapped his head round, the boy's eyes dull and emotionless. Severus smirked as Madame Pomfrey gasped, tutting at Potter's language, but Dumbledore but a hand up to her.

"You want to know something Dumbledore? I wished I had died, I wish Remus came to me later and found me dead. I'm fed up of your dangerous game. I know you've known of my treatment at the Dursley's for longer than you have put on. You've wanted to break your precious saviour, well here he is... Starved to death, bleeding for you." Potter laughed darkly, turning his head from the man. Bottles smashed around the room as a red vibe came off Potter, the boy's fists tightening to control his magic.

Severus took every single word of what the boy said, knowing what it was like to know this side of Dumbledore.

"I had never dreamed of this Harry. I knew Petunia put you in second hand clothes, but I never dreamed this was happening."

"Bull shit! You knew, you've always known. Some guardian you were Dumbledore.

"You know that I am your Guardian?" Dumbledore looked dumbfound, sitting himself on the hospital bed.

"Yes, I know everything. I know I could of stayed with you every summer. You've had control over my family's estates and assets and my parents will as they selected you to be my guardian. I also know that the blood wards were never really there, where they? My stupid low life aunt rejected them as she never really acknowledged me as family." Potter hissed the last words as his wounds on his back started to seal up as Madame Pomfrey muttered spells under breath, pointing her wand at his back.

"I... The blood wards were there Harry it was the fact..."

"The fact of what? You think playing God with other people's lives will help your cause. Well guess what old man, I quit. That's right I, Harry Potter QUIT. I'm neither light or dark. You're going to face this damn war soon and I'm not going to be there guiding the light. Now get out of my sight. The papers are ready to be signed on your desk and then I will be finally fucking free of you."

Severus watched the memory fade back into the pensive, a cough from the door way making him spin around on the spot to see Potter leaning against the door emotionless.

"Potter, I..."

"Snooping again Snape," Harry said, as he pushed himself off the door, coming to stand in front of the man. "Found what you were looking for were you? Going to humiliate me, the precious saviour abused. What a mad world this is. Surely this isn't true; Harry Potter has had a pampered life after all."

"Potter, if you were in my house I would have known. I would have done something." Severus said in a low tone, watching the boy's emotionless face closely.

"Really? I don't think so, not with who you work for and all the minion wannabes around the school." Potter sighed and moved away, sitting down on the double bed centre of the room, putting his head in his hands. "Just get out Professor, were equal now. You've seen some of my memories, like I have with yours. Just don't come in here again, not without my permission Snape."

Severus started to walk to the door, but stopped in the door way looking back at the boy. "Potter... Listen; don't lose yourself in the hate and bitterness of the past. You don't want to... End up like me." Severus walked to the door, stopping to look back at the boy. "I came to check if you needed anything for your wounds, but if you need help just ask. I will oblige."

Harry sighed, looking at the man blankly. "Thank you Professor, but I will be fine."

Severus nodded, quickly getting out of the room after his words, not even leaving enough time for the boy to look at him in wonder.

Thank you all again, I hope you enjoyed this update.

See you all again soon.

Puzzle Me This.