Getting back to her life was difficult. Somehow, nothing seemed quite the same. The library stopped being her favourite place in the entire castle, since it no longer allowed her to forget about all of the problems. It had become her only source of possible knowledge about the Horcruxes and the Dark Arts in general. She tried to be secretive about her research, but she knew that someone was bound to notice sooner rather than later that she was spending an awful amount of time in the Library, even for such a bookworm like herself.

Her roommates looked at her with caution, whenever she managed to get back to their dorm before the curfew, which didn't happen all that often those days. The Marauders' Map proved itself quite useful and the Headmaster gave her permission to stay in the Library past its opening hours. Of course, it had made Madam Pince quite unhappy, but she didn't ask any questions. Dumbledore was, after all, the Headmaster of Hogwarts and Hermione proved herself to be an exceptional student.

She knew though that it was only a matter of time, before someone tries to 'talk to her' and find out what was wrong. And coming up with an explanation that would be convincing to all of her friends and would allow her secrets to actually stay secrets. Well, it was hard. Bloody hard.

So when the Marauders, Lily, Amy, Grace and Leslie surrounded her on her way back to the Great Hall for dinner, it was hard not to be nervous. Despite her anxiousness, she managed to pull off a surprised face, while she stared at their firm stances.

"Love... Fancy seeing you here", Sirius said with a lazy smile, that posed a harsh contradiction to his tensed muscles.

"Um... Likewise?", she responded, flicking her eyes over every person in that small group of support. "Is something wrong?"

"You tell me!", growled Leslie and clenched her fists.

"Les is right! We're worried, Hermione! You're barely sleeping, you're avoiding us and you keep studying all day, which is uncommon even for you", Amy stated much calmer than the short-haired girl, making Hermione frown.

"It's not exactly my fault that I have so much to do"

James snorted loudly and earned himself an angry glance from Lily.

"Potter, this is serious!", she scolded him and this time, it was Sirius' turn to speak.

"No. I am Sirius"

Grace giggled uncontrollably, making Sirius very pleased with himself. Amy pulled an annoyed expression and smacked the girl standing next to her on the arm.

"What the hell is wrong with you? We're supposed to be talking to Hermione, not making stupid jokes!"

Hermione would probably be very amused by this entire situation if it wasn't for the determination shining in Lily's, Amy's and Remus' eyes, making it really hard to forget about the reason why she was avoiding them in the first place. They had gotten so close to her, that it started to be pretty impossible to keep things away from them. She'd never been much of a secretive person, especially when it came to her friends. Miss Granger didn't make friends easily, but when she did, she treasured them more than anything else in life. And those people standing in front of her didn't deserve to be lied to. It was simply cruel and unjust.

"All right, sorry, princess", Sirius rolled his eyes and sighed. "We're worried, love. I understand your need to avoid me, since I'm pretty irresistible, but..."

"Black! Stop with those stupid comments!", Lily snapped again and rubbed her forehead with anger. "How can you be surprised that she doesn't want you, if you act like a complete moose!"

Sirius snorted at her statement and James cleared his throat with a charming smile.

"I think you've mistaken me for someone", Padfoot replied with a serious expression, making Peter giggle like a girl.

"This was a terrible idea", Remus muttered and sighed, rubbing his temples.

Hermione had to agree with the Prefect. That intervention of sorts wasn't going very well. Although it certainly was amusing.

"The point is... We know that something must be going on with you. You're pale, you've lost weight and those bags under your eyes. You look like you're twenty something"

Hermione had to stop herself from chuckling. Well, she definitely wasn't sixteen.

"Guys, I meant it. Nothing's wrong, I just have tons of work"

At this point Sirius sneezed very theatrically, making everyone look at him at once.

"Oh, sorry I'm allergic to bollocks!", he yelled and shot her an angry glance. "Remus and Evans are taking the same classes and they're not wasting their days and nightsin the library. If you hate sleeping so much, I can provide you with much better ways to avoid it, you know?", he asked, but this time his voice was filled with irony and anger, so no one dared to scold him again.

"Hermione... Talk to us. We're your friends! We don't deserve to be pushed away", Grace looked at her with her big eyes and Hermione's lip trembled slightly.

"No, you don't. But you also don't deserve to get hurt, because of me. You're not supposed to spend your days trying to figure out", she stopped herself and sighed, averting her gaze.

She knew that explaining her behaviour wouldn't be easy. But now it just seemed impossible, as her mind went completely blank. Everyone was watching her intently and all she could offer them was silence.

"There are many things that I should tell you. But I simply can't. It's dangerous, not only for you, but also for me. Telling you would be so irresponsible and stupid, that you would scold me for doing so. If only you knew..."

She shook her head and bit her bottom lip, trying to stop herself from crying. Why did everything have to be so complicated?!

"I don't get what could be so important, that you'd rather lie to us than simply tell the truth. Don't you trust us?", James asked and ruffled his hair.

A moment later, a book struck his head, causing him to groan out in pain.

"Why the hell would you do that?!", he gasped, looking at Lily with exasperation.

"Because you're an idiot! Haven't you seen her arm?! It's not like she'd been on a picnic before she came here! Don't you think it might not be a good idea to prod her about those things?!", she exclaimed, earning herself a grateful look from Hermione.

When it came to understanding and simple logic, Lily had always been the one to excel. It didn't matter if it was the Arithmancy or friendship. She simply knew what to say and how to act. Always loyal, always full of apprehension. She was so much like Harry.

"It was your idea in the first place to talk to her!", James defended himself, waving his arms comically and not noticing the teary gaze that Hermione sent towards the redheaded girl.

"It was my idea to make sure she was alright! To make sure that she knew she could talk to us! I certainly didn't want to barge into her life and ask her to do something she clearly cannot do!"

"Guys, I'm still here", Hermione reminded them in a small voice, gaining everybody's attention. "Lily's right, actually. I cannot tell you, because it's not my decision to make. I just... I thought that if I had stayed away, I wouldn't have to lie to you, to keep things from you. I know that it was pretty stupid, especially coming from someone who's supposedly brilliant", she rolled her eyes and smiled weakly, before looking at them once again. "But no matter how many times I had pictured this conversation, it had always ended up terribly wrong"

"You don't have to apologize, we understand", Lily assured her and sent a murderous glance towards James, who snorted once again. "WE DO. It's just that none of us knows how to act. We don't want you to push us away, but we have so many questions. All I'm asking is to just let us help you, be there for you!"

"Besides, what the fuck, Herms?! You're our lector! Bookish Fridays suck without you", Grace stated with a sad smile.

Hermione's gaze flicked to Sirius, who stared at her with his brows furrowed. Oh, she was so screwed. There was no way he would forgive her for ditching him every Friday, so she could read books. And she would be even more screwed if he'd found out about what kind of books she had been reading. He would never stop teasing her.

"I'm sorry, I really am. It's just impossibly hard to be... To be normal", she admitted, pushing away her inappropriate thoughts.

At this moment, Peter stepped forward, looking at her with an insecure smile. His sudden initiative was surprising enough, but his words that followed. They were simply staggering.

"It doesn't matter who you are, Hermione. Not for us. I used to think that I'll never find someone who'll like me. I wanted to have just this one person to talk to, so I wouldn't be alone all the time. But now I have brothers and I belong with them. And so do you"

Hearing him say that was like being smacked in the face with an anvil. Peter Pettigrew standing before her was nothing more than just a boy, who had dreams and plans just like the rest of them. He didn't plan on betraying his friends, he didn't plan on hurting anyone. Even if he kept hiding in James' and Sirius' shadow, he felt good doing that. It didn't matter if they were stars. Not if they kept giving him the gleam he had always wanted. The gleam of brotherly love.

Before she could stop herself, her arms wrapped themselves around Peter's body, hugging him closely.

"Thank you, Peter", she whispered so quietly, that only he could hear it.

He was someone worth saving, after all. Even if she had to save him from himself.

"Granger..."

Cold voice snapped her out of her thoughts and she looked around, stopping her gaze at the silhouette of Severus Snape, who looked at her with... Well, with nothing. It was very surprising, considering the fact that his eyes usually held so much contempt for everything, that Hermione began to wonder if he had even been capable of a different expression.

It seemed that somehow, she has managed to gain his respect, because there was no way he would decide to talk to her out of his own volition.

"Severus, fancy seeing you here", she chirped and looked around once again.

His presence here was very awkward, as the weather didn't exactly encourage anyone to spending time outside, which was precisely why she decided to do it. Hiding from Sirius was terribly difficult and it required special measures. Even if those measures meant freezing her ass off next to the Great Lake. At least the view was tremendous.

"Do you realise it's bloody cold? Are you really that stupid to sit here instead of locking yourself in the Library, like you always do?", the Slytherin asked with irony, but she knew better than to take offense at his snarky comment.

"It's very sweet of you to worry about me, but I really like it here. It's very quiet", she stressed the last word, hoping that maybe he would take the hint.

Of course, no such thing happened, as he sat down on the ground right next to her. A sigh escaped her mouth and she looked down to her book once again. Hermione didn't mind his company, not really . That boy possessed such a brilliant mind, that having conversations with him was like talking to herself in the mirror. Well, it had also required being able to look past all of his mean remarks and the ever-present contempt for the world in general, but she was used to a much, much worse version of him.

"Why are you here?", he asked, his brows furrowed, as he tried to spot the title of the book she was currently reading.

"Sirius decided that the Library is not scary anymore, so I can't hide from him there. He's been watching me like a hawk lately and it drives me crazy", she opted for telling the truth, since Snape had proved himself to be rather observant and would probably guess anyway.

"Black is acting even more brainless than Potter", Severus answered with a scowl. "And I thought it simply wasn't possible"

"He's just worried"

Hermione knew that Sirius' reasons were much more complicated than that, because he seemed to be the only one to still pester her about her secrets. As much as annoying it was, she couldn't really bring herself to be angry with him. He made sure of that. Whenever he walked by her, their shoulders brushed against each other, while he looked at her with a passionate gaze that made her knees go weak. Whenever he smiled at her, she wanted to kiss him and forget about everything.

Wanting him felt so good and so bad at the same time, that it seemed almost impossible. What made her situation even worse, was the fact that she had known the man much longer than anyone thought, himself included. And Sirius Black was a great man. Rough around the edges, sure, but his heart... His heart was so great that it was really hard not to adore him. Hermione always believed him to be reckless and irresponsible, posing a threat not only to Harry, but also to himself. But now that she got to see his younger version, his behaviour became so obvious and justified that her opinion took a rapid turn.

Life has locked him in a cage. A cage that was tiny and incredibly uncomfortable, leaving him miserable and depressed. Azkaban was one thing, but everything that happened later... It had only made things worse. Being trapped in the same place that he had managed to escape at the age of fifteen must have been a living nightmare and she felt for him so badly, that it almost broke her heart.

She knew that her infatuation with him was something much, much deeper and it scared the hell out of her. Her mission was to save him, to give him a chance at a normal, happy life, but the only thing Hermione would be able to offer him was even more suffering. Because that's what it would mean to succumb to his pleas, as it would leave her no choice but to lie to him over and over again and lies happened to be the same thing that had destroyed his life previously.

"I can't believe you fell for that dunderhead", Snape snorted, forcing her back to reality.

Hermione sighed and rubbed her temples, trying to ease the ache that was starting to form inside her head. Too much thinking, too many problems. If she didn't find a way to stop obsessing over the same things again and again, she would get locked up in the psychiatric ward very soon.

"I didn't fall for him", she protested weakly, but her voice didn't sound convincing even to herself. "And even if I did, I wouldn't do anything about it"

Why was she even talking to Snape about that? His friends would undoubtedly use this information to hurt her even more.

"He's not good for you", Severus murmured and averted his gaze with anger.

"Yes, well... I actually think that I'm not good for him"

"Stop being pathetic", he snapped at her, making Hermione's eyes widen. "I know you're not completely relieved from the ability to use your brain, so it would be very wise to benefit from that particular asset, rather than talking bollocks"

Miss Granger blinked a couple of times and then giggled. Oh boy, young Snape was so much more entertaining than his older self. His smooth voice was capable of making an offence sound like a compliment and his choice of words made it really hard for everyone to understand him sometimes. He was brilliant, but also incredibly funny, if you could see past his cold demeanor.

"I don't have to agree with you on everything, you know? The fact that I had somehow managed to make you talk to me out of your own, free will is making me utterly happy, but not obedient", she stated with her eyebrows raised.

"Don't flatter yourself"

"Oh, so you're saying you're not talking to me out of your volition?", she asked sarcastically and watched as shadow of nervousness passed through his face. "Since I'm not completely relieved from the ability to use my brain, I am very aware of the fact that you must have an agenda. So maybe we should both just cut the crap, yeah?"

And then, Snape looked at her and the corner of his mouth twitched in something that could only be a seed of a smile.

"Insufferable Know-It-All", he spat, making her heart skip a bit at the familiar term.

"Greasy git", she retorted with a smile.

Silence fell between them, but it definitely wasn't uncomfortable. Never in a million years would she think it was possible to be talking to Snape like that. Never in a million years would she think that he was actually likeable.

But here they were, sitting next to each other without a shadow of uneasiness on their faces.

"I hated you"

After what seemed like eternity, Severus has finally spoken, breaking the silence. Hermione looked at him intently, waiting for his next words with curiosity.

"You don't anymore?", she asked, when it became clear that he had no intentions of continuing his speech.

"I've never met someone who would be able to hold a conversation with me for more than five seconds. Except for Lily", he said quietly, his voice seemingly impassive, although Hermione had no troubles with spotting his lie. "But you seem to be capable of doing so and I value that very greatly. It makes it insanely difficult to ignore your presence or carry out my assignment without any doubts"

Oh, how badly she wanted to just smile in victory. Being right was one of her favourite feelings in the entire world, and being right when Severus Snape was concerned... It had been even better. She had misjudged that man once and that was more than enough.

"Your assignment had been stupid from the start", she muttered and shook her head. "My eyes and ears are fully intact, so it's not like I could have ever failed to notice your previous resentment towards me. And when you'd started talking to me... It became pretty obvious that something wasn't right"

Her explanation left an amused expression on Severus' face, making Hermione furrow her brows.

"What?"

"My friends are strongly convinced that your parentage makes you stupid. They have every proof of your brilliance right in front of their eyes and yet they fail to see it. That makes them very foolish and will undeniably cost them a lot. And I'm going to be there to see it happen", he explained with a pleased expression and then looked at her.

His dark eyes seemed completely void of emotions, but Hermione knew that his expression was a way to say that he had no intentions of betraying her. And somehow, she believed him.