Part III: Redemption
Chapter Twenty
Tony knows they're about to unSnap. He doesn't expect anything particular to happen that he could sense from the med room, though he did tell Nat to instruct FRIDAY to institute the Barn Door protocol, just in case. So when the shields go up over the windows, Tony is pleased.
Then, the building shakes.
He has a bad feeling about it. Clutching Leigh's hair box to his chest, he sits up, looking for his pants. He'll be damned if he almost died to save his wife's life, only to lose her and die himself, without wearing any fucking pants. Any number of things could have gone wrong with the gauntlet, but shaking the building shouldn't have been one of them.
The shields on the windows start to lift. The plates blocking the doors slide back up. To him, this signals that they've done it. Whoever it was, probably Banner, has brought everyone back. Tony has somehow managed, thanks to the IV he's gotten about half of, to get some of his strength back, and he's juuuuust grabbing his pants-
When all hell breaks loose.
The building collapses around him, and as he's falling, Tony double taps his ARC reactor, feeling the comforting suit sliding up around him. He already has Leigh's box, so he swiftly tucks it into the side of his underwear before the particles sweep through.
This leaves him unprepared for landing, though, and he hits hard without the repulsors going. Tony's dizzy, disoriented, and somehow he's in a hole under his goddamned building, with a wave of water headed straight for him. The IV hadn't really prepared him for this.
Without hitting so hard, though, Tony wouldn't have had to take a few seconds to get his bearings, and he wouldn't have seen that the impact of whatever it was had broken open the equipment lockers, including the case that holds the two prosthetics he'd made in preparation for a worst-case-scenario with the Infinity Stones.
It sure seems like this is that.
Tony swears under his breath. He hopes that he hasn't made a terrible mistake by not pushing himself to be there when they chose a person to use the gauntlet. Bruce was the obvious choice, and neither of these prosthetics would fit him. The hybrid metal he'd made them from was specifically designed to protect the user by giving paths for the energy emitted from the stones to travel. Bruce had asked Tony not to make one for 'just in case' right after he'd finished integrating himself with Hulk, mostly because of the expense.
'It's Gamma radiation, Tony. If we ever get a chance to fix this, which I doubt it will, I will probably be fine. Save the materials for something worthwhile.'
'Don't give me that. You're worth the money. And the people we've lost are sure as hell worth it.'
Tony likes to be right- but not like this.
Given the collapse of the complex, it's possible that Bruce had been overcome by the sheer energy of the gauntlet and may have caused the damage as he thrashed around, trying to master it.
He might not have even had the chance to unSnap yet.
Tony grabs the case, and it's fucking heavy for a man in his condition. Tony is alone; there's no one in his particular pit to judge him. He drops the case and lays down on top, instructing his suit to create a carapace around it so he can carry the damned thing without needing to use his weakened arm muscles to do so. Then, with his dignity in tatters around him, Tony activates all four repulsors, using them to fly about six inches above the ground.
He makes progress as best he can, calling out for anyone else who might be hurt and finding no one. Finally, when he's started to worry that he's too far underground to ever find a way out, he reaches a place where he can see the waning sunlight. Flying up and out feels triumphant, right up until he sees the ship hovering overhead.
8888888888
When he lands up top, the first person Tony sees is Thor.
"Thanos," Thor says.
"Fuck," Tony says. It's heartfelt.
"We promised to bring those stones back," Steve says from behind them. "We've got to keep that promise."
"So Bruce didn't do all this with the gauntlet? Things are looking up," Tony says sarcastically, looking around at the complete devastation. He wonders if his insurance will cover Acts of Titan. "Did he-"
"I saw Clint answer a phone call with a look on his face that defies all human vocabulary. I believe it was from his wife," Thor says.
Tony's so happy to hear this that he forgets he's using his repulsors to hold himself up, and as soon as he releases them, he starts falling over backwards.
Steve catches him. "What's in the box, Tony?"
A tiny part of Tony wants to rebel and tell Steve he doesn't get to meddle with any of Tony's boxes, not after opening Leigh's without permission. It's unreasonable and childish, and he pushes it away.
"Is Bruce all right?" Tony asks first, before he answers Rogers.
"He's somewhere under this, along with the gauntlet," Steve says dourly.
"Well, we find the gauntlet, maybe we don't have to make Bruce use it again when we snap that motherfucker right out of existence," Tony says with real venom. He orders the suit to release the box, and falls forward, when its weight no longer relies on him. Thor catches him this time. "Prosthetics. Built to hold the stones and protect the user. Only reason I didn't bring them up already is because Bruce wouldn't let me make one in his size."
Steve smiles, crushes a happy hand onto Tony's shoulder. "Why two?"
Tony's tired, but the happiness from the knowledge that they might have actually brought everyone back is giving him a second wind. He knows what he's about to say might be an olive branch to Steve, and he wants to see the other man's face when he says it, so Tony turns, stumbling a little bit, reaching out to grab Steve's arm to steady himself.
"Because one of them is for Barnes."
Tony can see the words hit Steve. He's still Steve, though, so he'll do what's necessary.
"You know I have to bench you, you can barely stand up," Steve says very gently. "Thanos would kill you, and you gotta think of Ember."
This is a low blow, Tony thinks, because Em's a consideration whether or not Tony's in bad shape. Knowing Steve, though, it's a manipulation intended to make Tony feel just comfortable enough with sitting down and resting for a while.
"Guard that container. The magic in the stones appeared to lock the gauntlet into a shape fit for Banner's hand- which means it will also fit his." Thor points at a lone figure, seated far away, standing next to a tall object embedded in the soft earth. "When we find the gauntlet, you must use your suit to transfer the stones, and quickly."
And then use it to eradicate Thanos, and whoever he's brought with him, Thor doesn't say. He doesn't have to. Tony understands.
"No matter what, you stay up here, you got it? It's probably the most important thing left to do, besides return the things," Steve says.
"How swiftly does your armor unfold? Are you willing to remain unshielded by it, and thus less visible?" Thor asks.
"I'll just leave the comms up and cover the glow," Tony promises them. "-and the pants. I was, uh, in a hospital bed, when this all started, remember."
He doesn't roll his eyes at the two of them, though it's a near thing, because this solicitousness is uncharted territory. Some part of him wants to think it's because of the prosthetics, or worse, losing Leigh. Whatever it is, the cynic in him wants to tell them to fuck off, despite the nature of their concern. Instead, Tony waves his hand. "Okay now you're both freaking me out. Go kill."
Thor shrugs his shoulders, his eyes turning bright with lightning. He reaches out his hands, and Mjolnir and Stormbreaker slot into them seconds later. Steve smiles grimly, walking down the debris toward the seated figure.
Steve pauses, looks back. "We'll make sure it was worth it," he tells Tony. Tony nods, knowing that this statement is meant to be heartfelt and empowering.
When they're far enough away, though, he shakes his head. "Not possible."
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It's hard to watch Steve and Thor fighting Thanos. Their every advance on the Titan seems to be followed by massive setbacks. Steve is beaten down so badly he has to rest in a heap. All of their hopes rest on Thor- who ends up struggling against his own weapon in the hands of their enemy.
Tony taps his suit on, lifting up to give himself a better vantage point to see where he can best land his first strike.
Before he can fly down to help, though, Thanos is thrown off of Thor, and, as Tony hovers in disbelief, Thor's hammer flies back from where it had struck Thanos, landing firmly in Steve's hand.
Thor's triumphant, 'I knew it!' is audible even from where Tony's watching.
Then, Tony drops back down. Despite an initial amazing attack, Steve's shield is being hacked into, breaking into pieces. Steve rolls over on his back and Tony steps back in stunned shock, falls over the prosthetic box. Steve looks just like the image he saw when Wanda was fucking with his mind. It's the worst possible scenario, made worse by what all Tony's lost in the interim.
"It was never personal," Thanos says to Steve- but it feels like he's saying it to Tony. "What I'm about to do to your stubborn, annoying little planet- I'm going to enjoy it."
Thanos is speaking to Tony. He can tell. Stephen Strange thwarted Thanos's attempt to kill him, and now everyone on Earth is going to suffer unless they can stop him. 'They,' meaning a Captain America with half a shield, a drunken, depressed norse god, and Tony Stark, with an invisible but gaping hole where his heart ought to be.
He doesn't want to say it's hopeless, but it's hopeless.
The comm he forgot he's even connected to anymore crackles to life, and he hears the voice of Sam Wilson. "On your left."
IT REALLY WORKED.
The surge of complete joy is so strong it pulls Tony off of his knees, and what he sees is beautiful.
Everywhere he can look, he sees the golden spin of the Kamar Taj portals, and bursting forth from them are countless thousands of reinforcements. Tony fires up his repulsors again. If he's going to fight, he'll fight like this. If it means he's going to die, he'll die the same day as Leigh.
Just as he's about to fly down, a familiar, swooping movement catches his eye. It's Peter. Elated, Tony starts down. A qualm of conscience pricks him- the box is still important, and just the effort of holding himself higher in the air is starting to tax him.
"Fuck," Tony realizes. He can't actually do this. He's worn too much of his strength away. The ground shakes, and he sees Scott in his suit, impossibly large, stretching out a hand to reveal Rhodey, Rocket, and Bruce. It's the signal Tony needed to settle back onto the box until he's needed, because at least with Iron Patriot, there will be one of his suits on the field.
He closes his eyes and groans. It's not in his nature to sit while others fight, no matter what Steve had accused him of on their first meeting. Knowing that this is the battle to end all battles just makes it worse.
"Tony?"
It's Pepper's voice.
He drops the hand he'd covered his face with and looks up. Pepper's wearing the suit he'd made for her shortly after their impromptu engagement press conference. She looks fierce and beautiful.
"Hey, Pep," Tony says, eyes full of tears. He's too tired for a facade, right now, but he is very glad that the suit is covering most of him, because he knows he looks sick, after a week of nearly starving.
"Oh my God, Tony," she says, throwing herself at him. She lifts him up and hugs him, her suit awkward and bulky, because he hadn't had a chance to make one out of the nanoparticles. His heart is aching, because while he loves her, he's not in love with her- but she is in love with him.
In all their time on Vormir, Leigh had never once mentioned Pepper, but she had alluded to Tony being taken care of when she was gone. The thought makes him sick, especially as a justification for her sacrifice being more acceptable to him, but also because of how unfair that is for Pepper.
"I gotta guard this. You go, kick some Titan ass," he tells her, gesturing weakly. "On second thought, no. Stay away from that guy. Kick some ass really far away from Thanos."
"You don't sound well, Tony, are you okay?" she asks, touching his forehead, his face. Her hands are cool to the touch, too.
"No. Not at all. Probably never will be again. Go on, Robocop. Feelings later," he says, wincing.
"...okay," she says, obviously hurt. Nodding, she flips down her helmet and flies off to join the fray.
The battle is already raging, and Tony activates his shield just in case anything ricochets. Beyond the fight, his goals sound simple, but they're likely far from it. First, they need to find the gauntlet. Next, he needs to transfer the stones onto one of the prosthetics, and someone, hopefully not himself, needs to use it to snap Thanos and his band of merry men out of fucking existence. Selfish? Sure, but Ember Stark deserves more than to be told her parents both died today.
"Cap!" Clint says on the comm. "Where do you want me to put this thing?"
"Here, bring it to me. Up above where the Wakandans are fighting!" Tony says, excited.
"Tony, we need to get that thing as far away as possible!" Steve protests. "That's the only way we can protect them until we can return them."
"No way the Quantum Tunnel survived that attack, Cap." Rhodey says.
"That's not our only time machine, guys!" Scott says excitedly. "Anyone see a big brown van?"
"Yes, but you're not going to like where it's parked!" comes a woman's voice. "I'll guide you to it, if you can fly."
"Tony, can you take the box down to that van?" Steve asks.
He was afraid of that. "Yeah, Steve, I'm on my way," Tony says, tiredly.
"Tony, if you can't do it, just say that, you don't have to-"
"Not sarcasm, Cap, just exhaustion, okay? Can you keep the aliens off my ass while I do this?"
"Yeah, I've got you," Steve says, contrite.
Tony turns the container over so it'll open from the part his back won't be up against, lies on top of it, and secures it to his suit. Then, his repulsors flaring, he takes stock of the battle in front of him. Almost everyone is in motion, with a notable exception of a woman in ancient-looking armor, seated on a pegasus. She's circling, clearly searching for someone, but every so often she deflects wayward projectiles.
"Van lady, you the one on a horse?"
"That's me," she says. She sounds sarcastic, which lifts his spirits.
On his way toward her, Tony's struck on the shoulder by something and hits the ground. He fights off some strange, alien animal thing and turns to look for what had attacked him, only to find it being dispatched by Doctor Strange.
"Hey," Tony calls out to him. "You said one in fourteen million we win, yeah? Tell me this is it." He puts a wealth of condemnation and hope into his expression. If this is it, Strange knew about Leigh.
The sorcerer seems to understand the undercurrent in Tony's question, because his answer is cryptic but damning. "If I tell you what happens, it won't happen."
"Yeah, I bet," Tony spits out. "We're not done," he tells Strange, lifting back off.
"That, I knew."
Below him, Tony can see that there's a concerted effort to get the gauntlet to the same place he's going, but Tony's not in any physical condition to keep himself alive under the onslaught he's observing. For a while, it's Peter with the thing, taken over from T'Challa, but Wanda's red-glowed attack on Thanos causes the Titan to call out for his own personal nuclear option, and Tony loses track of everything except not dying.
He hears Pepper's voice on the comm. The selfish part of him that still feels owed for what he's given up for this cause begs the universe not to take her too.
It's probably not the reason why that's the same moment that Carol Danvers shows up, but he's not complaining.
Everyone rallies, on both sides, and Tony's basically a used-up shell of himself when he finally lands near the front of the van. He finds James Buchanan Barnes standing on the top of it, firing his gun and laughing like a complete maniac.
"Hey, you wanna do me a favor?" Tony says, flipping back his helmet.
"Holy fuck, Stark, you look like shit."
"Yeah, thanks. So uh, I made this for you."
He doesn't mean to fall over and basically present the box on his back like he does, but holding himself up by his hands and knees is about all that Tony's capable of doing right now.
"It's set up for the stones," Barnes says, in awe.
"Yeah," Tony groans, releasing the box. The other prosthetic tumbles out, but Tony's beyond the ability to care. If this doesn't work, his whole life and everything in it will have been wasted for nothing, anyway. "As soon as that gauntlet gets here, put it next to that arm, and the nanoparticles will transfer the stones to it. Designed to keep you as safe as humanly possible, I-" he coughs, the dust kicked up from falling on his face finally affecting him. "I promise."
Tony tries to struggle to his feet, and a hand reaches down to help.
It's the prosthetic.
"Even if it wasn't safe, that's not really what matters right now, is it?" Barnes says.
Tony leans against the van, panting. "Didn't pick you on purpose. There's two, the other clamps overtop of an arm."
"I saw that. I ain't mad, Stark. I'm honored." He looks up, and his face darkens. "You got a shield, you might wanna use it."
Tony activates it and holds it up, but something knocks him sideways, and he hits his head on the van.
When he comes to, it's because he's been kicked in the gut.
"Get up, Stark."
It's Thanos.
Tony rolls over, knowing he'll need both his arms and his legs to push himself to his feet, but also that no force on the planet will stop him from doing it. Beside him, practically underneath him, is the body of Barnes.
"Fuck," Tony whispers. "For what it's worth, soldier, that was not the plan."
"Don't count me out yet," Barnes whispers, his mouth barely moving. Underneath Tony, Barnes lifts his flesh arm to help him up, letting it flop back down once Tony's standing, as if it had simply gotten caught on his armor.
"So here we are," Thanos says. He's got the gauntlet on his arm, fingers poised to Snap, and everyone around him is frozen in fear. "I know you regret what happened the last time you fought me. In the interests of balance, I offer you one more chance, without armor."
Tony almost laughs. He'd seen Wanda strip the Titan of most of his. At the same time, he remembers what Nebula had said over and over again as they had discussed the teams, and whether to wait out Rocket's illness. Delay gives the enemy the opportunity to win.
Tony is Thanos's enemy.
Thanos waves the gauntlet in the air, creating a purple shield around the gauntlet but for the place his arm blocks. He removes it, walks over to Tony, and sets it on the ground at his feet with a smirk. The purple shield covers the whole thing, creating a line of purple energy where it touches the ground.
If Thanos wants to fight? Tony will fight. He'll die, if he has to, because the alternative is that Thanos snaps his fingers and everyone and everything Tony's ever loved dies. Fucking hell, Tony thinks to himself. Thanos has made him grateful that Leigh died in a way of her own choosing, instead of part of a massive genocide by a complete madman. It's the last. Fucking. Straw.
"Okay, bring it, Grimace," Tony says, tapping off his armor. His legs are bare, he's a third the size of the guy, but he's ready.
Thanos pauses, looks him up and down, and his eyes are drawn to one thing in particular. "What does it say?" he asks, pointing to Tony's soulmark.
Tony knows it by heart. "Maybe it was too much to expect that you could save the world, but you didn't stop there, no, you had to take away all my hopes and dreams too," he recites.
"Brutal," Thanos laughs.
"Is it?" Tony says, feeling loose, combative. He doesn't have a weapon, but he does have his mouth. "From where I'm standing, it's all been invalidated. She dreamed of a home, a family, and she had that with me. Her hope was to be with a person who really loved her, and I proved that by waking up with the Soul stone after she sacrificed herself to get it for me. And we're just about to finish up with the whole 'saving the world' thing."
"It's good that she's already dead, Stark. She wouldn't like to see you fail."
"When you love someone, that doesn't matter, you toxic purple marshmallow," Tony says with the power of a universe's derision. "You know what? I have never met someone with more need of a worldview overhaul than you, buddy, and that's coming from me."
"I grow tired of this," Thanos says, stretching out his hand as if limbering up to punch him.
"Yeah, get in line," Tony tells him. "I could do this all night."
"You won't have to," Barnes grunts from behind him. He's shaking, braced on the side of the van. "You wanna punch him first, or should I just-" He holds up his Infinity Stone-studded prosthetic. It looks as if he's holding six different colored jellyfish, with the tentacles arcing and flapping around the metal. Every so often one sparks in his face, but Barnes doesn't flinch. It's completely badass.
"No, go ahead," Tony grins, hugely relieved. "He's not worth any more of my breath."
"Gladly."
Barnes snaps his fingers.
Thanos is frozen in an expression of shock for a few seconds, but then he looks behind him at the multitude of his troops. They'd been holding steady, waiting for his orders, but now they're dissolving into a rippling cloud of dust.
"Defeated by a half naked human who didn't even have to throw a punch," Tony says with the last of his energy. Thanos laughs, right before he is pulled apart into dust by the force of the stones.
Tony watches until the very last of him has collapsed, and then he spits on the ground. Barnes has passed out, the arm still glowing with the arcing, still restless power of the stones. He crawls over and hits the quick release, noting that the super soldier has some burns on his shoulder and the side of his face.
Steve walks up, nods at him while helping Tony up. "We've got to take the stones back, no delays."
Tony knows what he's really saying. "If I tried to revive her with them, it would invalidate all of this, roll it back. I want to- but we can't."
"I'm really sorry, Tony."
"Me too," Tony whispers.
He sits on a rock beside the van and watches Steve, Bruce, Nat, Clint, Rhodey, Thor, and the others coordinate who is taking which stone, until they get to the Soul stone.
Nat walks over. "Hey."
"Hey," he says. "'Not it,' by the way."
"I totally get that. Thing is, we need an exact time."
"Yeah, well, I need pants."
"You know you're… bulging, one one side?" she asks delicately.
"It's Leigh's box. I didn't want to leave it behind in the rubble. If I didn't already have it in my hands when I started falling, I'd probably still be back there looking for it, and we'd all be dust right about now." Tony rubs a hand over his face. He knows he's selfish enough for that.
"I think you're wrong," Natasha says.
He can't stall anymore, so he taps on the time travel suit and looks at the logs. "Here, I'll just give you this. I can't pronounce it," he says, taking the activation bracelet off and handing it to Nat. "This is important, though: the last known location isn't where to take it back. Take it back exactly a day later."
Nat looks at him, utterly confused. "How is that possible?"
Tony smiles at her. "Leigh gave me her Pym Particles before she jumped. Slipped them into my suit while I was sleeping."
"You went back for her, didn't you?"
He doesn't react.
"That's how you know you can't use the stones to bring her back."
He is a stone statue with a bleeding heart.
"I'm so sorry, Tony," she whispers.
"Yeah, everyone is," he says, getting up. "I need to find some clothes."
He makes it three steps before he hears a familiar voice, reporting to Steve.
"-sent back most of the casualties with Shuri, to Wakanda. The deaths-" Pepper breaks off.
"As much as I want to assign someone to that, we're going to have to let local authorities in here to…" Steve sighs. "Investigate. I don't suppose you're interested in a liaison position?"
"Would I even have enough knowledge to do that, after being dead for the past five years?" Pepper asks wryly.
"Yeah, probably not."
Tony's pretty tired, and he almost starts walking again, but then he hears her hushed voice ask a question.
"What happened to Tony, Steve? He looks… what happened to him?"
"There's a lot more to the answer of that question than simply the reason he looks ill, Pepper, and I need to delegate my time. It's a rude, cruel answer, but it's the only one I've got, right now," Steve tells her.
Tony hears the regret in his voice, but imagines it's not all genuine. He doesn't want to explain to Pepper about what's happened since the Snap. Anyone else has probably got more trepidation and more impetus to avoid her completely.
"If you want to help Tony," Steve's saying now, "You might want to get him some clothes."
Tony sighs. That's probably the worst thing Steve could have possibly said. Tony's clothes are mostly at the lake house. There are a few left in the closet in the tower, where Pepper would know to look- but they're sharing a closet with Leigh's clothes. Everywhere in the tower, there is evidence of his wife, of their daughter.
"Fuck. Steve, stop. Pepper- no, don't- just-" Tony stumbles in his haste.
"What is it?"
"Oh, God, Tony, you're right. I wasn't thinking," Steve says, his eyes wide.
"It's ok, this is a new thing we all get to experience for a few forevers. Pepper, don't worry about it. I can find something myself."
"I wouldn't even have to fly back, Tony, I could just get Strange to portal me right to the closet in the tower."
"At the risk of stating the obvious: the tower's a little different now."
He really, really doesn't want to do this now. At the very least, he'd like to be wearing actual pants for this conversation.
"So different that you don't have clothes there anymore?" she asks in a small voice.
"Not very many, no. I have a house on a lake in West Virginia. That's where most of my clothes are." Suddenly, he remembers the silence around him during his verbal confrontation with Thanos. "Hang on, where were you, just a half hour ago? Right before Thanos turned into Swiffer fodder?"
To his consternation, Pepper starts crying, and for a horrible moment he wonders if she'd been putting up a front, and this is the thing he's been dreading. A glimpse of Pepper Potts' unfairly, unfixable broken heart. The ironic thing is that he can completely, utterly sympathize.
"I was with a new recruit to Kamar Taj," she says, instead, tears streaming down her face. "She wasn't all that great with the spells yet, missed a shield, and- Tony, it was awful. She shouldn't have even still been alive. I stayed with her."
"I'm sorry, Pepper," he says.
She sniffles. "Me too. I just wanted to do something nice for you, give me something to focus on."
"I don't think finding out everything that's happened with me in the last five years is going to be particularly comforting for you, at the risk of a severe understatement," Tony says.
"Whatever it is, I couldn't possibly blame you, unless you turned into some kind of mass murderer, or something," she says, her expression painted with loving sincerity.
"Do me a favor?" Tony says, stepping closer and lowering his voice. "Don't say anything like that around Clint, okay?"
Pepper laughs and wipes her eyes. "You haven't changed, Tony."
He has to grit his teeth, close his fists tightly, and breathe in and out several times to stop himself from losing it, emotionally. "Yeah, actually? I have. Most of it's good, though. Talk later?"
Pepper walks over, still awkward in the silver suit. Now that Tony can really look at her properly, he sees that it's splattered with blood. She must have been in a really terrible situation, but Tony's selfishly grateful that she didn't find out about Leigh and Ember from Tony's taunt-fest with Thanos.
"Later is okay. Not too much later, though? Apparently there's already a massive housing shortage, what with half of the population suddenly displaced and needing somewhere to stay."
"I tell you what. I still have all your stuff. I saved it in one of the nicer apartments in the tower. It's yours, as long as you need it," Tony says, feeling generous.
"Not-" she steps back, obviously stunned, and Tony's confused until he suddenly, horribly isn't. "Not with you?"
"Yeah this? This was one of the 'later' conversations."
"I'm starting to see that," Pepper says. She draws herself up, and Tony can almost see her mentally dressing herself in a power suit, killer heels, and a slicked-back ponytail. "I'll look forward to it happening on the 'sooner' spectrum of later."
"I'll do my best," he promises, and turns away so he doesn't have to keep seeing the hurt look in her eyes anymore.