The Megumin Path 2: Talk Chuni To Me
Just when Kazuma thought things were settling down, a letter arrived for Yunyun. When she got it, she burst into tears, grabbed Megumin, and dragged her off to their room. Kazuma was a little worried, but Yunyun tended towards hysterics so it wasn't that out of the ordinary.
Aqua got up from her place on the couch and went to check on the two archwizards, which made Kazuma feel a little better. Despite slowly being weaned off of the stickers, Aqua had become far more concerned with the feelings of others, and more aware of how her actions affected her comrades. It was behavior shaping at its finest.
After a few minutes, a weeping Aqua and Yunyun came back to the main room, along with a serious looking Megumin. Darkness and Kazuma both stood up from their game of shogi, something Kazuma had been teaching her to play over the past few months.
"Megumin, what is the matter?" Darkness asked.
Megumin took a deep breath. "It seems that the Crimson Demon Village has been destroyed by the armies of the Devil King. Yunyun and I are the last surviving members of our race."
"What!?" Kazuma gasped. "But, but that's horrible! My God, Megumin, your parents, your sister...are they?"
"They are gone," Megumin pronounced, her tone grave. "But there is still hope!"
"I c-c-could resurrect them," Aqua sniffed, scrubbing at her eyes with her fists. "W-we could hurry to the village, a-and maybe save them…"
"No. They are utterly destroyed," Megumin interrupted, which made Yunyun wail and collapse into Aqua's arms. "However, a final prophecy was given by our most talented Fortune Teller, who is never wrong. A child will be born from the last of the Crimson Demon's. Which is, obviously, me."
"What about Yunyun?" Kazuma asked, frowning and glancing at the blubbering girl.
"No, it is me. For it says that I must have a child with a charming stranger who understands the culture of the Crimson Demons, and with him, raise a child that shall go on to not only defeat the Devil King, but lead our people into a new and glorious era of prosperity!"
"B-b-but that's not-" Yunyun began, but Megumin glared at her and she hiccuped and fell silent.
"Wait, you must have a child?" Darkness asked, sounding concerned. "With whom?"
"Is it not obvious? The only man from the outside who has ever understood what it is to be a Crimson Demon." Megumin lifted a hand, and her finger seemed to pierce Kazuma right through his heart. "You must sleep with me, Kazuma, that our child may one day defeat the Devil King and bring the Crimson Demon Clan to Glory!"
"What!?" Kazuma gasped. "There's no way- a kid!? That's crazy! How could you and me-"
"You do not wish to sleep with me?" Megumin demanded. "Hmph. Very well. Perhaps I shall have to find another man, then. Or you would prefer Yunyun? The prophecy could be interpreted to mean her…"
"No! Not Yunyun!" Kazuma said, shaking his head. "She's just not my type! I just, I mean, I think I like you and stuff, and I hope you like me, but-"
"Then come! We must fulfill the prophecy!" Megumin proclaimed, and took hold of Kazuma's hands, her eyes gleaming bright crimson. "Will you do this with me? Will you bind yourself to me, forever, and through our seed, not only destroy the Devil King, but restore the Crimson Demon clan!? Do you swear to become a member of my proud race, in law if not blood?"
"I…" Kazuma swallowed. "I guess...I...I think I do like you, Megumin and...I mean...I would like to spend the rest of my life with you...and...and being a Crimson Demon sounds great…" Taking a deep breath, Kazuma straightened. "Yes! I will do this with you, Megumin! Together, our child shall defeat the Devil King! And I shall pledge to love and honor you all my days! With my last breath, I shall curse the Devil King, and defend you and our unborn child with my body!"
Megumin grinned. "Perfect." She led Kazuma back to his room, shutting the door behind them.
"I, um, er, what do we, er, do?" Kazuma asked nervously. "Is there some sort of spell or ritual we have to perform?"
"I think a kiss would be a good way to start," Megumin said seriously. Then she tilted her head up to Kazuma, closing her eyes. Kazuma swallowed, then leaned down, pressing his lips to Megumin's, wrapping her in an embrace. The kiss lasted a long time, and when the separated, both were sweaty and breathing hard.
"So it begins," Megumin said, a smug grin on her lips.
They kissed again, and the clothes began to come off. Kazuma's nervousness and hesitation vanished as he and Megumin explored one another's bodies. She was laying on his bed, all of his clothes on the floor, only her panties remaining. Gently, Kazuma reached out, and began to slide them off. Megumin let out a soft, throaty moan, and Kazuma's excitement was building to a crescendo.
And then Megumin slapped his hands away and suddenly rolled off the bed, running away to squat in a corner, her hands covering her chest. "Stop! I...I cannot!"
"What?!" Kazuma gasped. He stood, flushed and frustrated. "Why are you backing out now?! This was your idea! Don't you, you know, want to defeat the Devil King? Dammit, I love you, Megumin, and I-"
"I know!" Megumin sobbed, turning away from Kazuma. "I'm sorry!"
"What do you mean?" Kazuma sighed, and pulled on his pants. He picked up Megumin's shirt and walked over, handing it to her. "Look, I...I understand. Your family just died, and all your old friends except Yunyun are gone too. This...this has to be hard. Look, I...I can wait. Maybe we need to wait a week, or a month, or a year. Whatever it is, I'll be here, when you're ready, Megumin. And...and our kid will be great! You can teach them how to be an amazing Crimson Demon, like you, and-"
"I am a terrible Crimson Demon!" Megumin wailed, inching away from Kazuma, her shirt clutched to her chest. "I lied to the man I loved to satisfy my own selfish desires!"
Kazuma blinked. "You mean...it's Yunyun? I...look. I don't know if that prophecy is talking about me then. I mean, Yunyun is great and all, but...my heart belongs to another Crimson Demon. Some say the genius of the Clan. And, well, I can't-"
"There is no prophecy," Megumin whimpered, hiding her face in her shirt. "I made it up. The letter just says the village is under attack. No one's dead."
"What?" Kazuma felt stunned. For a moment, he just felt empty. Then all he could see was red, and he started shouting. "You LIED to me!? You lied to Yunyun and Aqua!? You made that letter up!?"
"No, the letter is real," Megumin sniffed, slowly looking up with bleary eyes. "I just...um, the prophecy...it's nonsense. It's from a book a friend of mine was writing. Yunyun just thought it wasn't fake, and um, I convinced her it was about me and you because I thought it would be cool for our first time to be part of some doomed prophecy…"
Kazuma gritted his teeth as he felt his blood rise. "And your family?"
"They're alive, I think. The Devil King really is attacking, but the 'by the time you read this we will be already dead' part is just a standard greeting. Yunyun would know that if she'd paid more attention in school."
"You made all that up...to sleep with me!? Megumin, if you'd just-" Kazuma closed his eyes, and took a deep breath. "Get out. I'm too angry to talk to you right now. Just...go."
Kazuma turned his back as Megumin got dressed and hurried out of the room. He sat down on his bed, head in his hands. Why had he kicked her out!? He wanted to sleep with Megumin. He still did, he just...it hurt. It hurt so much that Megumin had been willing to exploit his feelings like that. He felt sick, and horny. If Megumin had walked back in, apologized and made the offer, he knew he would have screwed her in a heartbeat. But she didn't, and he was too much of a coward to go talk to her.
He was still sitting there when a knock came at his door. "What!?"
"Kazuma?" Darkness' voice called. "May I come in?"
"It's open," he said, not looking up.
"Megumin told us the truth," Darkness said, sitting down on the bed next to Kazuma. Tenderly, she put a hand on his shoulder. "I'm sorry."
"I just...I wanted to do it," Kazuma said, looking up and fighting back tears. "I thought I loved her, and that she loved me and-"
"And you are both very young, and foolish," Darkness sighed. She smiled at Kazuma. "She does love you, you know."
"I find that hard to believe, Kazuma snarled. "If she did, why did she think she had to do all that!?"
"Because she is like I was, only a few short months ago. She thought only about what she wanted, and not about you." Darkness hesitated, then sighed. "She's not ready, Kazuma. You might be. But you'll have to wait. Are you willing to do that?"
That was a hard question. Kazuma thought about it, then sighed and nodded. "I guess."
"Then wait for her. Talk to her, like you did me. Establish some rules. Perhaps not now. In the morning, or when you've both calmed down. Don't rush into this, like I tried to do. Take your time. That way, when it's time, you can meet each other as equals," Darkness counseled.
Kazuma frowned at the Darkness. "When did you grow up all of a sudden?"
"When a wise man and a dear friend taught me how to put the needs of others before my own, by taking the time to come to me on my terms," Darkness said gently. She leaned over and kissed Kazuma gently on the cheek. "I know we'll never be lovers, Kazuma. But thank you. You taught me a great deal about myself, and what it would mean for me to take a husband."
"Are you and Becky...you know?" Kazuma asked, blushing.
"She abuses me as I desire, it is true, but it's not what I truly want," Darkness sighed. She hesitated, then said, "I crave a man's touch. Bethandrlina is helping me look, discreetly. My...position...makes it awkward. My family is putting a great deal of pressure on me to marry."
"Eh, you're not a Christmas Cake yet," Kazmua said with a shrug, then put a hand on her shoulder. "Thanks, Darkness. You're a good friend."
"I am glad to be off assistance. Be patient, Kazuma. Megumin will come around."
When Darkness left, Kazuma lay back on his bed, closed his eyes, and tried to sleep. It wasn't easy, as the memories of Megumin's body kept filling his mind. He nearly broke down and went to her, but Darkness had been right. They needed to wait. The sock it was.
The next day, Yunyun requested that the party come with her to return to the Crimson Demon village to help defeat the Devil King. They all agreed, even as Megumin stood off to the side, looking embarrassed and flustered. The easiest way to the Crimson Demon village was to have Yunyun teleport them a few kilometers outside of the village. They all had to hold hands to do so, but Kazuma noticed that Megumin put herself on the other side of Yunyun from him. He sighed. He'd wait. For a little while, anyway.
After a quick chant, they appeared not far from the village, and Aqua immediately took off with Yunyun, eager to explore the area. Darkness glanced at Kazuma and Megumin, who were strolling along a few feet apart. "I shall keep an eye on those two. You will be well?"
"We will be fine," Megumin snapped, glaring at Darkness. "Or do you not think me capable of defending myself?"
"That is not what I fear," Darkness sighed. She looked to Kazuma but he waved her off. Darkness jogged off the other two, easily catching up despite being in her heavy armor.
Soon, the others were out of sight, and Kazuma and Megumin walked alone along the path. Kazuma had just about decided to say something, probably something scathing he'd regret later, when he heard a low rumble.
"What's that?" he said, looking around. The hairs on the back of his neck rose as his Sense Foe triggered. "Oh crap! Monsters!"
"We will be fine," Megumin muttered. "Just stay behind me. An Explosion should-"
"A MAN! I SMELL A MAN!"
"COME ON BIG BOY! DON'T YOU WANT SOME LOVIN'?!"
Across the plains ran a horde of enormous, monstrous women, their huge breasts heaving about wildly. They were clearly not human though, with skin various shades of mottle purple and red, along with pig snouts and large fangs. A chill ran down Kazuma's spine, and he swallowed and took a half step back. "Um, Megumin, what are-"
"STAY BACK!" Megumin roared, her mouth twisted into a snarl as she raised her staff, her eyes glowing with an unearthly light. "HE IS MINE YOU FILTHY ORCS! FIREBALL! LIGHTNING! FREEZING GUST! WIND BLADE!"
"Oh-ho-ho, share with us, little Demon!"
"We don't mind! We just want a turn, we can-"
Megmin's only response was to rain down further carnage upon her foes. Kazuma drew his bow, quickly stringing it and started to fire arrows into the advancing horde, but while he picked off a few of the female orcs, Megumin devastated them. After less than a minute, the orcs gave up and fled. The ones that survived, anyway. Megumin stood at the center of the road, panting, rage written over her face.
"Um, thanks," Kazuma managed, lowering his bow. He didn't unstring it, just in case those things came back. "I er, take it that would not have been pleasant if they got me."
Megumin suddenly saged. She turned to Kazuma, tears in her eyes. "Aren't you mad at me?"
"Honestly? Yeah, I'm kinda pissed still. But...I understand. I mean, how cool would it have been for us to be some sort of prophesied lovers? I just...that was cruel, what you did to Yunyun and the others. And me. Megumin, you know that, right?"
"Yes," she admitted, hanging her head in shame. "I do. I just...you're always coming up with such amazingly cool things. I wanted...I wanted to come up with something, for once. And...and I didn't want to admit that I really did want to be with you. I wanted it to be fate, or destiny, sweeping me along. Not stupid feelings."
Kazuma took half a step forward and opened his mouth, but then paused. Wait. He should just listen.
"Can you forgive this foolish archwizard?" Megumin finally said, looking up with tears in her eyes. "And find it in your heart to still love her?"
"Yes," Kazuma agreed. "Can you forgive me for overshadowing you?"
"Ha! No one can overshadow Megumin!" Then she relaxed and smiled. "There's nothing to forgive. I just guess I'll have to learn to share the spotlight."
The others arrived a few moments later, but now that the danger was passed, Kazuma relaxed. He and Megumin walked a little closer together, and that was alright.
When they arrived at the Crimson Demon village, they performed their synchronized team poses and dance. Like Megumin had when Kazuma had first shown her the dance, the rest of the Crimson Demons acted as though they'd just received a divine revelation. Which, you know, was sort of accurate, considering Aqua's involvement.
After performing for the assembled village, Megumin pushed Kazuma to the forefront, flushed with excitement. "This man, Kazuma Sato, comes from a far away land! I shall leave him to give his own introduction, for it is he who taught me the secrets of Theme Songs, Witty One Liners, and Coordinated Team Poses!"
The Crimson Demons hushed, looking at Kazuma with baited breath. He took a nervous look at Megumin, but she only smiled and gave him a thumbs up. Right. He could do this.
"Good grief, I must reveal myself so soon?" Kazuma sighed, running a hand through his hair. The Crimson Demons seemed to cock their heads to one side, confused. Perfect.
"VERY WELL! It seems I must show you my true strength!" Kazuma cried, suddenly striking a pose like something Lelouch vi Britania would do while making speeches. "You look not upon a mere mortal man, O Crimson Demons! For I am Kazuma Sato, he who hails from across time and space from the forgotten and mysterious land of Japan, where great metal beasts run wild, striking men down at every turn! In this perilous place I honed my skills, studying long hours to master the forbidden arts! He who stands before you now is one who has mastered that darkest of magics: Chunibyo!"
"But I was called forth, summoned to this land by a dark power too great for even me to resist! She who is known as the foremost Genius of the Crimson Demon Clan, Megumin! She tamed my dark power, and now holds my very soul captive, lest my power overwhelm me and destroy all that exists! Now I come before you, hidden in the guides of a weak Adventurer, but make no mistake! I am he who will win the heart of Megumin!"
There was a sharp gasp from Yunyun behind Kazuma, and Megumin went bright red at that announcement. The Crimson Demons made a collective "oooo" sound, and Kazuma realized that he had just gotten in over his head.
"I accept!" a voice bellowed from the crowd.
Kazuma blinked, uncertain of what exactly he'd just done. The crowd parted, and a man with a straw in his mouth and a strange cap on his head with a woman with long, dark hair, who reminded Kazuma of Megumin, if she'd been about 20 years older and a lot more mellow that is.
"I accept your offer, Kazuma Sato!" the man repeated. "You are truthly a worthy man for my daughter!"
Oh shit, Kazuma thought, and realized this had to be Hyoizaburoo and Yuiyui, Megumin's parents. What had he done?!
"Kazuma," Yunyun hissed. "You just proposed a marriage offer to Megumin in front of the entire clan!"
Kazuma went pale, and turned to look at Megumin. She met his eyes, then gave him a smirk. "I am afraid I cannot do that, father!"
The life seemed to drain out of Kazuma. He'd done it. He was doomed to remain a virgin NEET forever. Megumin was going to reject him, and-
"For you see, though Kazuma and I love each other desperately, there is a prophecy!" Megumin shouted, her hand stretching up to the sky. "Before we consummate our love, we must prove ourselves worthy, or our child would be born under a dark star, and bring ruin to this world! Only after we have defeated the evil that threatens this land, may we finally be united in passion."
Kazuma nearly sagged in relief. "Er, right! That is why we have come to this village, to slay the General of the Demon King that threatens these lands, that we may be one step closer to our goal!"
"Amazing," Hyoizaburoo whispered, tears filling eyes. "Truely, my daughter has met a man worthy of her! Ha! You must marry my daughter, that you can truly join our clan! Though you lack our Crimson Eyes, truly, your soul must burn Crimson, Kazuma Sato!"
After that, there was a general celebration, and Yunyun, Megumin, and Kazuma were endlessly grilled about the new advanced techniques they had brought to the Crimson Demon Clan. It was fun, sort of like going to some otaku con and talking about cosplay or roleplaying with people who were really passionate about it. For perhaps the first time since he had left Japan, and possibly even before it, Kazuma felt like he'd found a place he could really learn to call home.
That evening, Megumin led the party to her home, looking rather embarrassed.
"I know it's not much, but, um, this is my home," Megumin told them, gesturing to a small low hut. "It's no mansion, but-"
Kazuma set a hand on her shoulder and smiled. "It looks great. Thanks for letting us stay over, Megumin."
Over the next few days, they toured the town, with all the villagers eager to show the party around and tell them about what they did there, and have Kazuma and Megumin help them compose their own theme song. Megumin firmly refused, stating that such things were only to be given once the others had proved themselves "worthy."
Still, it was fun to have Megumin reveal so much about herself, and Kazuma rather enjoyed their time together. Things got a little crazy when Sylvia, the General of the Demon King, attacked, but she made a horrific mistake: Sylvia tried to claim Kazuma as her own. What was left of her after the smoke from Megumin's Explosion cleared wasn't enough to fill a thimble.
After that, they once more departed the Crimson Demon village. Kazuma and Megumin grew ever closer, and though they didn't try to cross the final frontier together again, they spent quite a bit of time doing tongue exercises together.
In fact, it was Darkness who consummate her love before anyone else. Somehow, she found a nobleman who shared her peculiar kink, a man named Walter Alexei. Though in public he was kind and subservient, in private he harbored a need to dominate and was a bit of a sadist. Which, of course, was exactly what Darkness wanted in a man. In a shocking twist, it turned out that Darkness was actually Lalatina Ford Dustiness, the daughter of a high noble house herself. What started out as an illicit tryst organized by Becky the Succubus turned into love, or the BDSM version of it, anyway. It wasn't Kazuma's thing, but he was happy for 'Lalatina' who absolutely insisted that no one call her that upon pain of death.
They married after only six months, during which time the party managed to "defeat" the Duke of Hell Vanir, who turned out to be yet another kind-hearted General of the Devil king, and a friend of Wiz. Still, the honeymoon was to take place in Archenretia, the City of Hot Springs. As that was Aqua's Holy City, the rest of the party decided to head out for some much needed R&R themselves, though as far away from the happy couple as possible. After all, they might be into whips and chains, but Kazuma was squicked out by such nonsense.
While there, Aqua caused a huge annoying fuss, dragging the others with her in an insane quest. It turned out she had reason to fear though, as Haz the Poison Slime was attacking the city. Still, Walter proved to be no slouch with a blade, and with Megumin and Yunyun working with Aqua, Hanz was reduced to a puddle of goo in short order, and Aqua purified the waters of Archenretia, and avoided a crisis.
Which was why it was rather humiliating that the party was run out of town on a rail, because Aqua had turned the hot springs into ordinary water. She took her treatment hard, but cheered up on the ride home when the others reminded her that at least they knew how amazing she'd been.
Darkness and Walter retired to their own mansion, with Darkness promising they'd return for more adventures soon. Still, Kazuma wasn't worried. Things were going well. He and Megumin continued to grow closer, even as they continued their Adventures, defeating even more generals of the Devil King. One day in the Spring of Kazuma's third year in Belzerg, Megumin came to him, carrying a picnic basket and her staff.
"I did not get off my Explosion yet today. Would you care to accompany me on a date? I think perhaps Beldia's old castle could use a reminder why it is wise to fear the Crimson Demon clan."
"Sure, why not," Kazuma agreed.
They headed out, singing their explosion song, carrying a picnic basket and skipping along under the bright sun. They arrived, and Kazuma rolled out the blanket and set up the basket as Megumin looked off towards the castle.
"Would you say we have reduced the evil in the world?" she asked Kazuma as he started to prepare their meal.
"Eh? Yeah, we're doing pretty good. Before you know it, we'll have eliminated the Devil King himself," Kazuma chuckled.
Megumin nodded to herself. "I see. Then perhaps it is time for the prophecy to be fulfilled."
"Prophecy?" Kazuma asked, then looked up. Megumin gave him a smug grin. "Oh. That prophecy."
They embraced one another, out under the open sky. Kazuma's heart thundered, wondering if anyone would happen to come by their little spot. He doubted it: everyone knew to run the other way when they saw Kazuma and Megumin heading for the castle, as that meant an Explosion would be soon to follow.
Unlike the last time they'd nearly gone all the way, they took things slow. At last, Megumin drew Kazuma down onto her, groaning softly as they passed the point of no return. Their first time was awkward and sloppy, but it ended with a bang.
Literally, as right as Kazuma moaned out Megumin's name, she cried out his, Beldia's former haunt suddenly vanished in a brilliant ball of white. The earth bucked and trembled, and the wind howled and gusted. Giving a very literal meaning to the old phrase, "did you feel the Earth move too."
Kazuma and Megumin lay in one another's arms, sweaty and smiling. "I love you, you crazy chuni mage," Kazuma chuckled.
"And I love you, you perverse Adventurer," Megumin said, snuggling up to him. She sighed. "But now I am too weak to move. And I shall have to find a new spot for my Explosions. It seems our old one is broken."
"Oh, I don't know. It worked pretty good for me," Kazuma laughed. "Though, um, you're not going to do that every time, right?"
Megumin just gave him a satisfied smile.
Eventually, the party finally struck down the last of the Devil King's generals, then banished the Devil King himself. Kazuma and Megumin were married in the Crimson Demon village a month later, in an elaborate ritual that featured several new dynamic poses, including a special double pose by the bride and groom set to their own personal theme music, composed for just such an occasion.
Not long after, they moved out of the mansion, and settled down with the rest of the Clan. Aqua went back to the Divine Realm, though she informed them she'd learned a trick from Eris. It wasn't long before "Mizu" was showing up on the regular, baffling everyone as to why Aqua insisted on going by a new name. Yunyun became the new chief of the Crimson Demon Clan, and despite her fears, did a bang up job. Darkness and Walter would come by on occasion as well, and every once in a while the party would venture forth once more to fight monsters. Though mostly just to relive the old days and go drinking.
Megumin and Kazuma became the new teachers at the Crimson Demon Academy, instructing a new generation of chuni lunatics to venture forth and rid the world of evil, and also drive its other inhabitants up the wall with their antics. Over the years, the headmistress and teacher contributed no fewer than four star pupils, who all went on to have wacky adventures of their own.
The years passed, and life was good, if a little strange. Megumin always stayed beautiful in Kazuma's eyes, even as time worked its ravages. One day, they went out together to perform Megumin's monthly Explosion, as her stamina wasn't what it used to be. On the way back, Kazuma had to pause to rest, and lay down next to his sleeping wife on a small hillock. Neither of them ever awoke from their rest.
They found themselves once more with Aqua, who had taken it hard to see her mortal friends slowly grow old as she stayed forever young.
"I missed you guys," Aqua said, hugging both of them tightly. They were both as they had been when they first met all those decades ago. "Well, what's it gonna be?"
"Well," Megumin said, eying Kazuma. "I have heard much about this mystical land of Japan. I would very much like to see it for myself."
"There's no magic there you know," Kazuma pointed out. "No Explosions."
"I'll survive. As long as you're there too," Megumin told him, taking his hand.
"You guys sure? Round the horn again?" Aqua smiled. "Well. I'll make sure you're reincarnated as childhood friends in Japan! I'll keep an eye on you myself. I'm kinda bored of Belzerg anyway. Maybe I can get Darkness to join us. How she's still kicking, I don't know. Must be that darn HP of hers. Alright! Enjoy your next life!"
And Kazuma and Megumin stepped forward into their next Adventure.
Good Ending Attained. Route Success! Play again?
Authors Note:
Well, that's one Good Ending achieved. For now, I'm taking Eternal NEET off the table, as I have something special planned for that. I anticipate that I'll be posting "Safe and Consensual, but Sane?" next, unless the Axis Cult manages to pull off a miracle and enough of them prove their devotion to their goddess.