Aha! It is only fitting that a superior goddess like me be the final and true good ending!
Wait, I have to do WHAT?! K-kazumaaaaaa!
Aqua Route: Do Girlfriends Get Stickers Too?
Lying on his bed, Kazuma couldn't help but feel just a little bit depressed. He'd finally done it. After weeks of increasingly awkward moments between him and Darkness, he'd worked up the courage to sit down and admit to her that the whole BDSM thing had been a ploy to make her a better tank, and he just wasn't into it. That had been hard, for both of them. She had started to really develop feelings for him, and he'd be lying if he said he hadn't taken an interest in her. But he just couldn't keep the act up.
After a long, painful conversation, they'd come to an agreement. They could be friends, and were definitely Adventuring companions, but love was off the table. Neither of them could really fulfill the others needs. Kazuma just wanted someone to have fun with (and not like that!) and Darkness had wanted someone to live her fetishes with. Still, she'd been very mature about it, and there were no bad feelings. They'd gone to the succubi, and they'd set Darkness up with a "Personal Trainer" and told them to keep an eye out for any suitable men who might be willing to be the dom Darkness really wanted in her life.
Still, it wasn't easy. It was the right thing to do, but it left Kazuma feeling unhappy. He held up his sock, and frowned. That really wouldn't help right now.
There was a knock at his door, and Aqua called. "Kazuma? Are you OK? Normally even you're up by now...and we haven't gone on a quest in a couple of days…"
Sighing, Kazuma got up. Right. His life wasn't over, no need to mope about it. He opened the door and found Aqua there, looking pensive. He gave her a smile. "Hey, yeah, it's OK. I was just feeling a bit down. Sorry. I know you were looking forward to more stickers, you were what, one away from your next bottle of bubbly? Here, tell you what, you can have a bottle on me."
Aqua watched as Kazuma retrieved the bottle and handed it over. She took it, but didn't leave. "Are you OK, Kazuma? You seem really sad."
"Yeah, like I said, I'm fine. Just feeling a bit down. Maybe we can go on a quest tomorrow. Why don't you practice posing with Megumin? You both like that."
"Um, yeah. Ok," Aqua said, looking remarkably thoughtful for her. She was probably just wondering if she could steal the rest of the bottles later.
Aqua took the liquor and hurried away, and Kazuma closed his door and went back to contemplating his sock. Maybe it would make him feel a little better.
He was just about to give it up as a bad job and go to sleep when there was another knock at the door. That killed the mood completely, and Kazuma hiked up his pants and went to the door. Megumin probably wanted her daily Explosion. Maybe it would be nice to get out.
Instead of Megumin, he found Aqua standing there again. "What is it? You can't have drunk that whole bottle already."
"Huh? Oh, no. Um, I made this. For you." Aqua held up a stack of papers that had been bound together with ribbon, an awkward smile on her face. "You know, because you always help the rest of us feel better when we're sad. And, um, well, I don't want you to be sad, Kazuma. You're a good friend."
Carefully, Kazuma took the book. On the cover was the title of KAZUMA: THE HERO! With a surprisingly good drawing in a style like that of Akira Toriyama, Kazuma's favorite mangaka. It showed Kazuma with his sword, smiling and posing along with Aqua, Megumin, and Darkness before the guildhall in Axel.
"Wow, Aqua, this is really good," Kazuma said, flipping through the book. It was scenes from their recent Adventures, featuring Kazuma and the girls.
It didn't focus on combat, instead showing the quieter moments of their lives. A scene in a dungeon where Kazuma and Aqua had discovered a hidden passage that had led to an underground lake and they'd caught some strange fishes that had been rather tasty. The time where Darkness and Kazuma had worked together to move aside some huge boulders to get to a previously blocked tunnel. There had even been some treasure there, the light of which could just be seen in the cracks around the boulder. Kazuma cheering Megumin up when someone had made fun of her greeting pose by performing a silly pantomime. The four of them drinking together after a long day, smiles on all their faces.
"You like it?" Aqua asked, sounding rather solicitous. "Does it make you feel better? I got you a sticker, too." Aqua held out the sticker of a chibi Kazuma, his chest proudly thrust out with the caption 'World's Best Friend.'
"Yeah, it does. Thanks, Aqua," Kazuma said, a smile touching his lips. He took the sticker and carefully pasted it into the book.
"And, um, maybe we could share that bottle of bubbly with Darkness and Megumin? We don't have to go on a quest if you don't want to, Kazuma. But we should still all be friends!"
"Sure. That sounds good," Kazuma agreed. "Just let me get dressed." He carefully tucked the book into a special place in his trunk, wrapping it in a cloth to keep it safe, then headed out. Aqua was waiting for him, and somehow, her smile and joy just as seeing his mood improved made him feel a lot better.
Over the next few weeks, Kazuma and Aqua set out on several new Adventures. It wasn't anything fancy, in fact, they rarely faced monsters as neither of them were well suited to it alone. Sometimes they brought along Darkness or Megumin, but usually neither of them were interested in the kinds of places that Aqua wanted to go to, and Kazuma felt like humoring her.
What Aqua wanted to do was to experience the world, to go to places she'd never been, see things she'd never seen before, and try new things. They ventured to other nearby towns and villages to try the local cuisine and attend open air markets. Aqua would often do impromptu performances on the street corner, impressing the local farmers and craftsmen. She never asked for money, simply doing it for the joy of making others happy, and Kazuma would occasionally help her, though mostly he just watched.
Other times, they'd simply wander the countryside, until Aqua found a place she liked. Perhaps there was a particular plant she'd never seen, a strange rock outcropping, or even just a novel cloud formation. Then they'd set up an easel, and Aqua would paint while Kazuma scrounged up some food using his Gather Skill. He'd cook them a meal, and they'd dine on whatever concoction he came up with. Some of it ended up being rather foul tasting, but Aqua didn't mind, laughing and saying she enjoyed trying new things.
It was a relaxing diversion from Kazuma's hectic life, a time to relax and enjoy the outdoors. In his last life, Kazuma had rarely ventured outside, but with Aqua there, it was nice. It was more fun when Megumin or Darkness came along, but both of them were always looking for a fight, either to get beat up a little, or to earn more XP or just a good target for an Explosion. That sort of ruined the relaxing atmosphere, so Kazuma didn't mind that they rarely came along.
That winter, Aqua finally filled out her first sticker book. Kazuma held an award ceremony, inviting over Wiz, Chris, Yunyun, and Dust. He presented the medal to a beaming Aqua while the others clapped politely. She gave a long, rambling speech, had a good cry, then performed a few party tricks for everyone's entertainment. After, Kazuma had a feast for everyone with Aqua's favorite brand of liquor and dishes, made to perfection with his new Cooking skill. Everyone had a great time, laughing and singing together.
The next day, Kazuma went to Aqua. "You've been doing great, champ. You're knocking it out of the park as a goddess, a healer, and a friend! Don't think I haven't noticed you're taking the time to help Megumin think up new theme songs, for that you haven't been doing extra chores around the house instead of lounging around. The place has never looked better!"
"Um, thanks," Aqua said, taking the book. She studied it, flipping through it. "Huh. A lot of new stickers, here. That's cool."
"What's wrong, Aqua?" Kazuma asked, frowning. She didn't sound very excited about her new book, instead, she seemed almost embarrassed. "Do you not like it?"
Hugging the book to herself, Aqua looked away, grimacing slightly. "No, I do, it's just...you did this for me, didn't you? You didn't have to. You could have just yelled at me like the other gods and goddesses did whenever I did something dumb. Why?"
"Well, I'd be lying if I said it wasn't at least partially selfish," Kazuma admitted. "I really need you to help me out so we can defeat the Devil King, and you were a liability half the time. Sure, I could have just kept harassing you, but that wasn't really working. So I thought, what does Aqua actually like? I knew you liked art and stuff, and you enjoyed praise and attention. So, I got you some. That way, we both got what we wanted. I got a super useful healer for the party, and you got rewards and stuff."
"Uh-huh," Aqua agreed. She frowned, looking at Kazuma, studying his face as if she were searching for something. "Are we friends, Kazuma? Or am I just your cheat item to you?"
"Aqua, you're not just a lame cheat item like Mitsurugi's sword or something," Kazuma chuckled, giving Aqua a thumbs up. "You're my best friend! Think about all the time we spend together just having fun. I wouldn't do that for someone I didn't think of as a real friend."
That seemed to reassure Aqua slightly, but she still looked worried. "So...you just want me around because I'm useful to you? Like my followers? Is that what being a friend means?"
"Well, do you only like to be around me because I give you stickers?" Kazuma asked. He wasn't sure why those words left a pang in his heart as he spoke them. Really, did he think Aqua thought of him as more than an annoyance who occasionally dispensed goodies?
"No, I like you because you're fun," Aqua said, giving Kazuma a smile. "Even back when you were just a stupid NEET and we were working as day laborers, you made me laugh, showed me new things. It was fun! Even if I do miss home, being with you hasn't been that bad."
"See? I feel the same way!" Kazuma laughed, feeling both relief and strangely sorrowful. Of course. One day, he'd lose his best friend. She'd be gone, back to the Divine Realm. That day was far off, but… "Plus, we're in this together. After all, you can't go home until we defeat the Devil King, right? So what do you say, partner? Ready to earn some more stickers?"
That made Aqua smile. "Yes! Partners! And friends." Instead of the thumbs up Kazuma offered, Aqua went in for a hug. "Thank you. This is even better than prayers and offerings."
Then she skipped away, humming happily to herself and holding her new sticker book out before her. She left behind a rather flustered Kazuma in her wake. Normally, Aqua was just his best bud, someone to hang out with, like Darkness was. She was fun, but...he'd never quite felt this way about her before. No, stop it. She was a goddess. She'd just leave and go back to the Divine Realm when this was all over anyway.
That summer, they traveled to Archenretia for Darkness' honeymoon. Through the succubi, they'd learned that Walter Alexei paid regular visits for a very specific sort of sort of dream, one where he tied up women and dominated them through physical abuse. It was rather shocking, as in public, Walter came off as straight laced and kind, and was the son of a prominent noble house to boot. They'd been just about to try to think of a discrete way to contact Walter when they had a stroke of luck: Darkness' and Alexei's fathers arranged a marriage between them.
At first, Darkness had been flustered and reluctant, but with some coaching and a copy of the Beginners Guide to BDSM in hand, Darkness had gone to Walter. He'd been first baffled and embarrassed, then delighted to hear that she shared his kink, as it was something he'd thought he'd have to give up for the sake of his family and appearances. They'd been married a short time later. Darkness wasn't giving up her Adventuring career just yet, but it seemed like life was looking up for her.
"Well, we've certainly made progress lately," Kazuma said as he, Megumin, and Aqua rode in the carriage out of Axel. "We've beaten Beldia, Sylvia, and Wiz and Vanir are basically neutralized. Pretty good, eh ladies?"
"Yes, and thanks to you, I have become the most famous of Crimson Demons!" Megumin cackled. "Already they beg for our return to show off more team poses and theme songs! I have received a dozen marriage offers so far!"
"Yeah? Good for you," Kazuma said, leaning back and closing his eyes. "I'm happy for you, Megumin."
"You are?" she asked, sounding uncertain.
Kazuma cracked open an eye. "Yeah. You've worked hard. You deserve a break. Plus, soon you'll be most chuni of the chuni mages. You thinking about leaving us, settling down like Darkness?"
"No, you are my friends. A true Crimson Demon will not abandon her allies!" Megumin declared. "And thank you, Kazuma for sticking with me."
"We're buds. That's what we do," Kazuma said, holding out a fist to Megumin. She tapped it, only for Kazuma to quickly perform an elaborate handshake.
"What was that?!" Megumin gasped.
"Oh, you know, I just thought we needed a secret handshake now," Kazuma chuckled.
Megumin narrowed her eyes. "Tell me more of this 'secret handshake.'"
"A secret!? What is it?! Can you tell me!? I love secrets!" Aqua said excitedly, turning away from the window she'd been peering out of. Megumin looked irritated, but Kazuma quickly diffused the situation.
"Of course! It's a secret for the whole party. It's how we'll be able to recognize one another, if we ever think there's a mysterious infiltrator or something," Kazuma told them. That seemed to satisfy Megumin. She quickly learned the handshake, then watched as Kazuma had to repeat it a few more times for Aqua.
"Hmph. You two really seem to be getting along," Megumin said, folding her arms over her chest.
"Of course! Kazuma says we're friends!" Aqua said with a big smile. Then she frowned slightly. "Um, Megumin, we're friends too, right? You like having me around?"
That seemed to startle Megumin, who shrugged. "Well, I suppose you're not just a rival. You're starting to sound like Yunyun, you know."
"She's nice, I like her," Aqua said. "We should have invited her along! She's your friend too, right Megumin?"
"Yes. I guess so," Megumin admitted. Then she looked to Kazuma, then back to Aqua. Megumin sighed. "You're both my friends. I'm happy to be with both of you. At first we were mere companions, but now I think we have become as close as sisters, Aqua. And I want my sister to be happy."
"But you're just a mortal," Aqua said, sounding worried. "I'm a goddess. We don't have sisters or brothers. We just, you know. Show up. I didn't grow up, I've always been like this."
"Really?" Kazuma asked, rather surprised. "You didn't start off as a mortal or something?"
"No, Eris did, I recruited her to be a goddess when she defeated the old Devil King, but Senior Goddesses like me just happen. I'm not really sure how, I had a hard time paying attention when the Chief Goddess explained things to me. But I'm super good at my job so it doesn't matter," Aqua said with a shrug.
"So you do not wish to be sisters? That would make us rivals," Megumin said, her eyes suddenly glowing Crimson.
Aqua looked worried, wrinkling her forehead and frowning. "No, I do, it's just...you know I can't stay, right? I have to go back when the Devil King is defeated. And...and you'll get old, someday."
"And you will not?" Megumin huffed. "Perhaps then I will catch up to you, and be able to land a man myself once I am fully developed."
"Oh no, you'll always be flat, like your mom," Aqua said unthinkingly. Before Megumin could get mad, Aqua smiled and gave her a hug. "But I am glad you think of me as a sister. I hope we can be friends for a really long time, Megumin. I'll make sure you live a long life. Just join my cult! They're great! And the baths are really nice! You too Kazuma, you-"
Aqua suddenly cut herself off, her mouth falling open.
"What, you want me to join your crazy religion too?" Kazuma asked. When Aqua started to cry, he felt like a heel. "Sorry! I was just teasing. Look, I'll join the Axis Church, I'm sure it's great. Megumin will too, right?"
"Sure," Megumin said with a roll of her eyes. "If she still insists she's literally the goddess Aqua."
"N-no, it's just...Kazuma, you're going to get old too," Aqua hiccuped.
"Well...yeah. I've already gotten older since we got here. Haven't you noticed?" Kazuma asked, feeling slightly baffled. "I've grown a couple of centimeters at least."
"No, you can't," Aqua whimpered. "You have to be my friend forever."
"I will, don't worry. Well, until you have to go home, right?" Kazuma asked, forcing a smile on his face.
"Oh. Yes." Aqua turned to look out the window again, seeming far more pensive than she usually did.
Kazuma twiddled his thumbs for a bit, until the caravan was inevitably attacked by monsters. They spent the trip having to fight off all sorts of things, most of them attracted by the party, either to Darkness and Walter's armor, Aqua's divine aura, or even Megumin's potent mana reserves. Kazuma seemed to be the only one who wasn't some sort of monster bait.
He was about to go to sleep when he heard the familiar sound of sniveling. Sighing, he got up and found Aqua sitting at the edge of the camp, a bottle in her hand, staggering drunkenly as she made to wander out into the badlands.
"Woah, hey, Aqua, where are you going?" Kazuma called, hurrying up to her.
"I'm leaving!" Aqua wailed. Her cheeks were flushed, and her breath stank of alcohol. How many bottles had she had already? "I just figured it out! All those times we get attacked by the undead? It's my fault! No wonder everyone hates me! So I'm going away, where I won't bother anyone ever again!"
"What?! No! You can't!" Kazuma cried, taking Aqua by the shoulders. "You do that, you'll end up getting yourself killed!"
"No I won't! I'm a goddess! I can fight off whatever is out there!" Aqua snapped. "If I stick around, my friends are just going to get hurt! I couldn't...If something happened to all of you.."
Aqua dropped her bottle, which shattered on the ground with a clang and flung herself into Kazuma's arms, sobbing.
"Shhh, hey, it's OK," Kazuma said, awkwardly patting the distraught deity on the back. "Hey, we're adventurers. A few undead is just part of the bargain. And besides, with you around, even if we die, you can just bring us back, right?"
"But I hate doing that," Aqua blubbered. "Every time you die, it hurts. It's you who's dead, but it hurts me! Why? I shouldn't be hurt, I'm a goddess! We're not supposed to feel pain!"
"It's because you care, silly," Kazuma chuckled. "Hey, you do a pretty good job of keeping us alive, right? When was the last time any of us died?"
"Sylivia killed you," Aqua mumbled. "I felt really bad about that…"
"Hey, I walked into that one," Kazuma admitted. "I er...well, when I thought Sylvia was a she...I sort of didn't mind her getting kidnapped. I mean, a guy gets lonely."
"What?! Aren't we friends, Kazuma?" Aqua demanded, her eyes suddenly taking on a manic glint.
"Yeah, we are, I just...it was my turn to be stupid, OK? Don't hate me," Kazuma said, flinching.
"You...you were stupid?" Aqua asked, the wrath fading as quickly as it had come. She really was like water, raging one moment, placid the next. "Oh. Um, it's OK. I know what it's like to have everyone hate you because you did something dumb...normally I don't really care, but with you...I'd feel really bad if you hated me Kazuma. So I won't hate you because you did something weird. Do you need a sticker?"
That made Kazuma laugh. "Maybe you should give me something every time I do something good, to keep me from being a useless NEET! Then you'd be the smart one in the party!"
"No, that's your job. I'm just the healer. Don't worry, I like it. Thanks, Kazuma," Aqua gave him a tight squeeze, then went back to lay down and go to sleep, her earlier worries forgotten.
That made Kazuma feel a bit better, but when he lay down, he felt a rather powerful urge to use a sock. Sadly, there were just too many people around. He sighed. Living with a bunch of girls did have its downsides.
Check Point Reached! Game saved. Continue?
Author's Note:
So, last of the main girl's routes. We're nearly there. In other news, I've published a new Konosuba story, Kazuma Sato: HERO OF BELZERG. So for all of you asking for more Chris/Eris, Yunyun, or Iris, this might be what you're looking for. Well, as long as you were looking for a decidedly AU story where Kazuma finds himself in a party with those three. Even though what he really wanted was to stay home and take a nap.