Comrades, our day has come! WE SERVE THE SOVIET YUNYUN!
Yunyun Route, Part 1: How to Make Friends and Influence Rivals
"-and that's another sticker for you, Aqua. I got one that says 'Greatest Goddess,' just for you."
Eagerly, Aqua took the sticker from Kazuma, and immediately began to paste it in her book. As she did, both Darkness and Megumin stepped forward, looking excited themselves.
"And for you, Darkness: 10 points. Excellent tanking today," Kazuma said seriously, and marked off ten points on Darkness's card.
"T-thank you! Oh, I'll go spend these with Becky right away!" Darkness said happily.
"You are always going to see this 'Becky' and spend your points. Perhaps I should investigate this further," Megumin said, sounding suspicious. Then she glanced at Kazuma, as if disinterested, but he could see she was still excited.
"Well, I did some searching, and I found important gear for chuunis everywhere," Kazuma said seriously.
Megumin raised an eyebrow, feigning disinterest. "Did you import it from a foreign land?"
"I'm told it's an exotic export from a far away land. My supplier had to work hard to get it," Kazuma said, taking out a lacquered box from his pouch, and hiding behind his back.
"Well, what is it?!" Megumin demanded eagerly, trying to steal a look.
"Patience, patience. Know that this object is supposed to grant enormous power. If I give it to you, you shall have to learn to use it responsibly," Kazuma said sternly.
Megumin was practically vibrating with anticipation now, and she started forward, trying to reach behind Kazuma. "Well, give it to me! I know how to use power! No one does better! I have mastered Explosion Magic!"
"Hmm, well, this is a magic far more potent," Kazuma chuckled, and brought the box out from behind his back, smiling as he gave it to Megumin.
However, upon seeing the box, her expression fell. That puzzled Kazuma: it was fine, lacquered wood, with a magical inscription on it that made the engraved cats on the cover seem to move about, like one of those hologram images.
Megumin snapped it open, glanced inside, and sighed. She dropped the box into her own pouch without even taking out the contents. "It seems you don't know anything after all. Hmph. Come, Darkness. Let's go find out about this 'Becky.'"
"I, um, I don't know that…she's just…um…my seamstress! Yes, I'm going to see my seamstress and-"
"It would have been more believable if you said armorer. You don't wear dresses," Megumin said with a shrug. "Come on, maybe she has something more interesting than Kazutrash."
Megumin dragged Darkness out of the door of the mansion, while Aqua skipped off to drink some bubbly and admire her sticker book.
The reaction of Megumin had very much not been what Kazuma had expected. He'd thought she'd be shocked to get such a gift, and had thought maybe they could go on a little date or something afterwards. He really HAD imported the box at great personal expense, and had gone out of his way to find something he'd thought Megumin would like.
Taking out a matching box from his pouch, he turned around and threw it with all his might in irritation, straight out of the open window and onto the grounds.
There was a yip, then a squeak, and then a scream followed by a crash, and Kazuma blinked, then walked over to the window and leaned out to peer outside.
"Hey, Yunyun. You OK?"
Below Kazuma, a dazed Yunyun was crumpled on the ground, a large welt rising on her forehead where Kazuma's box had beaned her. He could see quite a bit of leg and cleavage, with Yunyun's tie caught in her mouth, and her short skirt rather rumbled. He didn't feel even the slightest bit guilty about it either: Megumin was cute, but Yunyun was no girl to kick out of bed in the morning either.
"I-I'm…OK," Yunyun groaned, sitting up and massaging her forehead.
Sighing, Kazuma jumped out the window, taking out a rag from his pocket and squatting beside Yunyun. "Create Water. Freeze. Here, put that on it."
Gingerly, Yunyun took the now frozen solid rag, and pressed it to the lump. "Um…thanks. You're…you're not m-mad at me?"
Kazuma rolled his eyes. "Yunyun, the only reason I would be mad is that you didn't, you know, just knock on the door like a normal person and say you wanted to hang out with Megumin."
"W-why would I do that?!" Yunyun gasped, scooting back slightly and going bright red, her eyes shifting to the side. "M-Megumin is m-my rival, a-and I, um, I was spying on her! Yes! I-I was spying to, um, learn her weaknesses, so I-I can beat her!"
"Seriously? Yunyun, it's so obvious to everyone," Kazuma sighed.
Hiding her face in her hands, Yunyun let out a muffled wail, then said, "I-I like boys! S-so does M-Megumin! W-we're not, um, dating! W-we're rivals!"
The idea of Megumin and Yunyun having an…intimate…relationship, was a rather exciting and interesting one, but Kazuma forced his mind back on track after only a short detour down Yuri Lane.
"That's not what I meant. I mean, it's painfully obvious that you think of Megumin as your best friend," Kazuma said, shuffling slightly to disguise certain parts of his anatomy.
"W-what?! No! O-of course not! Crimson Demons, um, we don't have friends…j-just rivals! A-and so, um, I'm Megumin's greatest rival, w-who will-" Yunyun trailed off as Kazuma gave her a flat look. Slowly, she lowered her hands into her lap, and began twiddling her thumbs.
"Uh-huh. You wanna make that lie any more obvious, or is that hole you've dug yourself deep enough yet?" Kazuma demanded.
"I…I do want to be Megumin's friend," Yunyun said very quietly. "I just…I just…"
Suddenly, Yunyun launched herself forward, startling Kazuma, who let out a yip and crashed back on his rear end. Then next thing he knew, Yunyun's glowing red eyes were right in his face, and she had grabbed his tunic tightly. "How did you become Megumin's friend!? I have to know! I-I've tried for years, d-done everything I could think of! B-but she won't be my friend! A-and now you're friends with Aqua, a-and Darkness, a-and W-Wiz, a-and even L-Luna at the guild likes you now! You have to tell me! How! HOW!?"
By the end of it, Yunyun was violently shaking Kazuma back and forth, rattling his brain thoroughly. For a girl and a mage, she was scarily strong. Though Kazuma supposed she had to be at least level 25 or so to know Advanced and Intermediate Magic, so that made at least a little sense…
"S-sorry!" Yunyun wailed, suddenly dropping Kazuma and jumping to her feet. "I'm sorry! N-now you'll hate me! I-I didn't mean to, I just, I just…"
"It's called…positive reinforcement…" Kazuma muttered as Yunyun turned to run away, tears in her eyes.
Yunyun paused, then slowly turned around. She squatted down by Kazuma's side, hugging her knees, just waiting. Her eyes still glowed softly and she shook with stifled sobs and hiccups, but she was listening intently to Kazuma.
It was both a little creepy, and kind of nice. Even his party members usually tried to talk over him when they were excited, no matter what he had to say.
Groaning, Kazuma sat up and rubbed his head. "It's just simple behavior modification training. Basic textbook psychology. Something any student in my home country would know."
Yunyun nodded, her brow furrowing. "Is…is it a skill an Arch Wizard can learn? I-I have some skill points saved up…"
"It's not a skill," Kazuma said, and Yunyun instantly deflated. "I mean, not like, a Skill, that you learn with points. It's just…look, it's something anyone can do."
"Can…can you teach me?" Yunyun asked, leaning forward, her eyes burning with intense passion.
Kazuma considered it a bit, then stuck out a hand. "Sure, if you can teach me about Megumin. I think I want to ask her out, but I'm not sure how to…"
"That's great!" Yunyun gasped. "Megumin always…oh…"
For a moment, Yunyun looked like she was going to cry, and Kazuma was perplexed as to what he'd done. Then, Yunyun made her hands into fists, and nodded, standing up. "Yes! I-I will teach you how to properly woo a-a lady of the Crimson Demon Clan! A-and you will teach me…how…um, how to make friends…"
"Great. Now, let's start with this." Kazuma bent over, retrieving the box, which now had a crack in the lacquer from Yunyun's head. Just how thick was her skull? Shrugging, he opened the box, revealing a pair of tiger striped cat ears within.
"So, I got her these, but…what's so funny!?"
Yunyun had doubled up, and was laughing hysterically. Tears started rolling down her cheeks, and she was clutching herself as she giggled uncontrollably. She even snorted a few times, covering her mouth in embarrassment, but unable to stop.
"What!? WHAT?! Why are you laughing?!" Kazuma demanded, feeling more than a little foolish and outraged.
"Those…those are from…the Village!" Yunyun laughed, wiping at her eyes. "They're a cheap tourist trap item! M-Megumin probably thought you were trying to prank her!"
"Oh." Kazuma looked down at the cat ears in his hand, suddenly feeling incredibly embarrassed. He'd pretended to be a cat boy, back when he was in middle school, and it had been fashionable for the really chuuni girls to wear the ears all the time and talk in Nyaan-speak.
Looking back, it had been incredibly cringe, and Kazuma was more than a little embarrassed now that he thought about it. But, he'd thought the overly dramatic Megumin would have appreciated it…
Yunyun reached down and pulled Kazuma up, smiling at him. "B-but, w-when we were kids…M-Megumin and I…we used to play with them. S-she's probably embarrassed by it."
Kazuma considered that for a moment, then put the ears on his head. He struck a pose, winking and kicking one leg up slightly, while holding his hands up like two cat paws. "Nyaan~"
"Sneerrrrrk," Yunyun covered her mouth, letting out a few more giggles and snorts.
That further embarrassed and irritated Kazuma, and he snatched the ears off his head, too ashamed to speak.
To his shock, Yunyun reached out, taking the ears from him, and setting them on her own head. Then she struck a pose herself, putting one hand up, fingers curled slightly like she was batting the air, the other held forward, one leg back a little. "Nya nya nyaaaan~!"
To Kazuma's shock, a striped tiger tail sprouted from Yunyun's tailbone, snaking out from above her skirt and swaying slightly.
"S-so cute," Kazuma gasped, putting a hand to his nose as a bit of blood leaked out.
Yunyun immediately snatched the ears off her head, making the tail vanish. She looked mortified, and Kazuma couldn't really figure out why.
"That uh, that was, um…yeah that's why I bought the cat ears. I didn't know about the tail," Kazuma admitted, discreetly wiping his nose with another rag from his pocket.
"It's um, it's a charm, o-on the ears. You activate by, um…s-saying those magic words," Yunyun admitted. She held out the cat ears to Kazuma, blushing deeply and looking away.
"Huh. You keep them. They look better on you anyway," Kazuma said with a shrug.
That made Yunyun blush, and turn away. She tucked the ears into her belt pouch, slapped her own face a few times, then turned back. "Um, I, um, I think…I-I should go…"
"I didn't even teach you how to be a friend yet," Kazuma said, folding his arms over his chest. "You're just going to run away without even figuring out how to get Megumin to hang out with you?"
That got Yunyun's attention, and she nodded. "W-well, um, yes…but…"
"But nothing. Come on. It's not that hard," Kazuma turned around, heading around the hedge that Yunyun had been hiding in, and going over to open the front door.
"Now, the first thing that's important in behavior reinforcement, is that you pair yourself with positive experiences," Kazuma began, then paused. Yunyun was peeking out from behind the hedge, looking nervous. "What?"
"Um, is it…is it OK for me to…to c-come inside?" Yunyun asked, her voice so quiet Kazuma could barely hear her.
"Are you going to dribble slime on the floor?" Kazuma asked.
"No…"
"Are you going to tear up the furniture and carpets?"
"No?"
"Are you going to drink all of our booze?"
"No!"
"Are you going to pee on the rug?"
"K-Kazuma!"
"Hey, you never know. I had Dust over one time…" Kazuma sighed heavily and shook his head. There might have been copious amounts of alcohol involved in that one. And, well, maybe Dust hadn't been the only one…
But no one ever needed to know that since it had been Dust that had been caught. Kazuma had still gotten more pee in the vase. Putting it on the rug to aim at hadn't been the best idea though.
"Oh…um, w-well…that's still gross," Yunyun said, wrinkling her nose. She looked around, then scurried over. She stuck her head inside, peering around. "M-Megumin i-is gone, um, right?"
"Yeah, but I expect you to come over and come inside at least a few times," Kazuma said. He gave Yunyun a little shove, and she squeaked and stumbled over the threshold.
Gasping, Yunyun windmilled her arms, then looked around nervously. "Um…is this OK?"
"HEY AQUA!" Kazuma bellowed, causing Yunyun to squeak and cover her ears.
"WHAT!?" Aqua shouted back from her room.
"YUNYUN WANTS TO COME OVER AND HANG OUT."
"OH! OK, I'LL BE RIGHT THERE!"
"Um, um, um…I-I should-" Yunyun tried to make it to the door, only for Aqua to slide down the banister and tackle her in a hug.
"Hi, Yunyun!" Aqua said brightly. She had changed out of her goddess attire, and was dressed in her PJs even though it was only late afternoon.
Yunyun had frozen, and gone bright red in the face, looking totally baffled.
"Megumin's not here, but Kazuma's totally boring by himself. Why don't you hang out with us? We can play slapjack!" Aqua said brightly.
"B-but…um, I don't want to impose…" Yunyun said, shifting from foot to foot.
"Ah, we're buddies! Kazuma, get a bottle of the good stuff I know you have and chill it! We have a guest!" Aqua said brightly. "I'll make us some snacks! You like Tuna-Mayo-Rice, right Yunyun? Of course you do!"
"You're just trying to get me to give you extra booze," Kazuma said, but he went and got a bottle of it anyway.
Yunyun was nervously sitting on the couch, fidgeting as Aqua whipped up a batch of her favorite junk food, chattering away about anything and everything.
As Yunyun sat, Chomusuke came over, then hopped up on the couch. She looked at Yunyun for a moment, then stepped up onto Yunyun's lap. The little cat turned around twice, then lay down and began snoring softly.
"Lazy beast," Kazuma said, and rubbed Chomusuke's head affectionately. He poured Yunyun a glass, along with one for himself and Aqua.
Looking a bit dazed, Yunyun accepted the drink, sipping at it, and staring at the sleeping little cat.
"Alright! Here, try some, it's my favorite!" Aqua said, coming over and passing Yunyun a bowl of tuna mayo rice, and setting one in front of Kazuma.
He took a bite, and grunted in satisfaction. Say what you would about this useless goddess, but she did know how to cook. Well, as long as it wasn't something she could accidentally purify.
"Ever played slapjack before?" Aqua asked, rolling up her sleeves.
Mutely, Yunyun shook her head, taking a hesitant bite of the tuna-mayo-rice. She blinked, then looked at the spoon, and quickly took another, larger bite.
"Nothing up my sleeve!" Aqua said, gesturing like a stage magician. "Nor this one. But…TA-DA!" With a flourish, Aqua produced a full deck of playing cards, fanning them out and grinning.
"Oh!" Yunyun gasped and quickly set her spoon down, clapping carefully so she didn't disturb Chomusuke.
"Heh, an easy trick for a goddess like me! Now, you have to watch Kazuma. He cheats."
"Do not," Kazuma said, trying to sound offended.
He totally cheated. Aqua never could catch him.
However, this time, when Kazuma palmed a card, he glanced over at Yunyun. The hurt look she gave him made him blush, but he tried to keep a straight face.
Yunyun sniffled, then looked at Aqua. "F-friends play fair, r-right?"
"Of course! Only meanies cheat," Aqua agreed.
Muttering under his breath, Kazuma slipped the card. Back. He could have sworn that he did it when Yunyun wasn't looking, Aqua certainly didn't notice, but Yunyun beamed happily at him.
It was past dinner time, after several rounds of not just Slapjack, but Rummy, and a few games Kazuma was pretty sure Aqua made up on the spot, that Megumin and Darkness stumbled back in. Or rather, Darkness stumbled in, with Megumin on her back.
"How was Becky?" Kazuma asked, giving Darkness a smug smile.
The Crusader blushed, but her expression was tame compared to Megumin's look of horror and embarrassment at the sudden realization that Kazuma knew just exactly where they had been.
"Um, h-hi, M-Megumin," Yunyun said, waving timidly from half behind Aqua. "D-did, you um, make a friend?"
"No!" Megumin snapped, dropping off of Darkness's back, and leaning on her staff as her knees wobbled. "I didn't do anything! Good night!"
"B-but-" Yunyun wilted as Megumin hobbled off, putting herself to bed and slamming the door behind her.
"You'd think she'd be well rested after that," Kazuma said, scratching his chin. Then he glanced at Darkness. "Unless, of course, Becky is coming here, tonight…"
"She, um, maintains that ah, it's the cafe's policy to, er…not deliver to this residence…" Darkness stammered.
"Aw, that's too bad! You must really like the food there. You'll have to take me some time," Aqua said absently as she shuffled up the deck of cards.
"Er, I don't think…you'd like it?" Darkness said, fidgeting nervously. Then she blinked, and smiled at Yunyun. "Oh! It's good to see you, Yunyun. Sorry, um, Megumin is a bit er…drained…but I'm happy to see you!"
"Y-you don't have to pretend," Yunyun said quietly, turning towards the door. "I-I'll just leave…"
"Oh, but it looks like Aqua's dealing out the cards for Spades, and we need a fourth," Darkness said, shrugging out of her armor. "You simply have to stay, at least for a few hands."
Yunyun glanced at Kazuma, who sighed. "Yunyun, Darkness is probably the second loneliest person I know, after you."
"I-I am not!" Darkness protested. "I-I have lots of friends!"
"Yeah? Name two that aren't in your party," Kazuma challenged.
"Um, there's Chris?" Darkness began, then paused. She looked like a deer in the headlights, until her gaze fell on Yunyun. "And Yunyun! See? I do have lots of friends!"
"W-we're friends?!" Yunyun gasped.
"Of course! Any friend of Megumin's is a friend of mine," Darkness agreed, taking the seat across from Aqua and picking up her cards.
"Oh," Yunyun said, looking dejected.
Kazuma reached across the table and flicked her nose, making Yunyun gasp in shock, covering her face like she'd been dealt a serious blow.
"You are Megumin's friend, Yunyun. And ours. Now, pick up your cards. Ladies. The usual stakes?"
"Chores for the week!" Aqua agreed happily. She glanced at her hand, sticking her tongue out, and muttering to herself. At last, she nodded. "Ah ha! This is a fantastic hand! I'll shoot for the moon!"
"Um, w-what does that mean?" Yunyun asked nervously, studying her cards. "I-I've never played 'Spades.'"
"We're bidding on how many tricks we'll take. That's sets of cards," Kazuma said absently, studying his hand. "Aces high, spades trump, lead with low club on the first trick. You can't play off suit unless you're out of cards in that suit. Shoot for the moon means you won't take a single trick."
"And you get the most points!" Aqua said excitedly. "You get 100! I know I'll win this week! No toilet cleaning for me!"
"Um, Aqua, m-maybe we should, um, discuss this?" Darkness said, looking nervously at her own cards.
"W-what's the point of bidding?" Yunyun asked, studying her own hand.
"You get ten poins for each trick you take that you bid. But, only one point per trick after that. So if you bid five and take six, you get 51 points," Kazuma explained. "I'll bid six this time. I've got a solid hand, and I know how to play it."
Nodding intently, Yunyun pursed her lips. "A-anything else? S-six seems like a lot, um, there can only be 13 tricks…"
"Well, if you fail to take what you bid, what you bid is now negative points," Darkness answered. "You may also get double set, where you take twice what you bid. Then you get that many negative. Oh….I shall bid…four."
"Mmm." Yunyun looked up from her cards, bit her lip, then looked around the table. Darkness seemed nervous, while Aqua was cocky and confident. Kazuma did his best not to show any emotion. He had an OK hand, but getting six would be tough. If Aqua was shooting for the moon, and remembered she was, it should be easy though.
"I bid…two," Yunyun said, and laid down the two of clubs. "T-that's right, isn't it?"
"Yep. My trick, I think," Kazuma said, laying down the nine of clubs. For once, Aqua didn't get caught on the opening hand, despite having the five of clubs as her low. Typical. Well, he might have gambled on that himself.
The rest of the game played out smoothly. Yunyun appeared to have been right on the money, as she seemed to have a relatively poor hand with few high cards. She took her two, exactly as she had predicted, while Darkness also took her four.
"Last hand," Kazuma said, tossing down a low heart.
"Ha, I shoot the moon!" Aqua said happily, and played her last card.
As soon as it was on the table, Kazuma burst out laughing, while Darkness put her head in her hands and let out a soft groan.
"What?" Aqua demanded, scowling. "I didn't take a single one all game!"
"Um," Yunyun carefully reached down, and held up Aqua's card. "S-spades trump, right?"
"Yeah," Aqua agreed. "But it's the high card that wins. Darkness played the eight of spades."
Kazuma fell out of his chair, still laughing. Darkness muttered that "this wasn't the sort of humiliation she enjoyed."
"But…Aces are high," Yunyun said.
"Yeah, but that's a one," Aqua said, still not understanding.
Silently, Yunyun held up the card, pointing to the small "A."
Aqua blinked. Then, went beet red. "KAZUMA, YOU BIG JERK! STOP LAUGHING AT ME!"
"You…you tried to shoot the moon….WITH THE ACE OF SPADES?!" Kazuma cackled. "You are the most useless goddess I have ever met!"
"SHUT UP, SHUT UP!" Aqua roared, and began to attempt to stomp on Kazuma as he rolled about on the floor.
In response, Kazuma grabbed her foot and jerked it to the side, causing Aqua to wail and topple over. Desperately, Yunyun managed to intercept Aqua, cushioning her fall as the irate deity landed on top of her.
"Get him!" Aqua raged. "He's engaging in blasphemy!"
"F-friends don't fight!" Yunyun said desperately.
Aqua paused, as did Kazuma.
"Huh? Oh, no, we fight all the time," Aqua explained.
"It's how she knows I care," Kazuma agreed.
"BUT HE'S STILL A BIG JERK!" Aqua roared, and tried to jump on Kazuma, who evaded, getting to his feet and whooping as he ran around the room, Aqua grabbing a pillow and smacking him repeatedly with it, as she was quite a bit faster than he was thanks to her inflated godly stats.
"Don't worry," Darkness assured Yunyun, who looked rather concerned. "It's just like with you and Megumin and your little contests. They really are the best of friends."
"I'M GOING TO KILL YOU, RAISE YOU, AND MAKE YOU CLEAN THE TOILETS!" Aqua shrieked.
"Um, if you say so," Yunyun said, shaking her head. She glanced at the cards, then smiled. "T-that was fun…"
"We play weekly, for chores usually." Darkness sighed. "I usually partner with Aqua, because, well, Megumin is very competitive, and, er…"
"Aqua's not very good at cards," Yunyun giggled.
"No, um, not really," Darkness admitted. "And, well, I don't mind doing extra chores…"
"W-well, um…maybe…I could help with some?" Yunyun offered.
Darkness waved her hand. "Well, you won this time, don't worry about it."
"Um, it's getting late, I um…I should go," Yunyun said, standing.
Aqua and Kazuma paused, Kazuma holdin the toilet brush as Aqua tried to avoid blows with it.
"Oh? Well, we'll see you later. Come over again, I'm sure Megumin would like to hang out with you," Kazuma offered.
"Us too!" Aqua agreed. "Next time, you can be my partner. Darkness is horrible at cards."
"A-aqua!" Darkness gasped, and blushed.
"Oh, and you're some sort of card shark yourself?" Kazuma said, his tone dripping with sarcasm. He did walk Yunyun to the door though. "Hey, don't worry, we'll have time to help you out with Megumin later, OK? Maybe you four have a girls night or something. Or we can play other games. I bet I could get Aqua to make almost anything; she's scary with milk cartons and paint."
"I…you mean it? You…like spending time with me? You want to be…f-friends?" Yunyun asked.
Sighing, Kazuma grabbed two cloaks, and stepped outside with Yunyun, and put one over her shoulders. "Look, I'll walk you home. Let me explain how to be a real friend. It's simple."
Yunyun blushed, but pulled the cloak tight about her in the cool night air. Kazuma realized it was one of his, but shrugged it off. It was big on Yunyun, but whatever.
"So, you see, the first thing about being a friend is to make yourself reinforcing. Or, to make the other person think they need you, because you can solve a problem or something. Sometimes, you have to create the problem first. But behavior modification isn't that hard…"
Yunyun led the way through the darkened streets of Axel, listening as Kazuma talked. She led him to a boarding house for female adventurers not far from the guild, and the matronly woman who kept the place gave Kazuma a glare as they approached from her door step.
"There you are, Yunyun. You know my policy: No men! I don't care if you're party members, or betrothed!"
"Oh relax, granny, we're just friends," Kazuma said, rolling his eyes.
"Hmph. Well, you can't come in. Yunyun is a sweet young thing, and I recognize you! You're that scoundrel, Scumzuma! Did he steal your panties?!"
"N-no!" Yunyun gasped. "H-he gave me his cloak."
"Hmph," the woman glanced at the cloak, then at Kazuma. He gave her an awkward smile: he'd given Yunyun his older, rattier cloak.
"A-and we had some drinks, and p-played cards…"
"Gambling and alcohol?! You're corrupting this precious flower!" the landlady raged, picking a broom and taking a menacing stride forward.
"Oh relax, I'm going! Come over any time, Yunyun! Megumin isn't the only one who'd be happy to see you!" Kazuma told her. He strode off into the night, avoiding a beating he was certain.
The next morning, Kazuma awoke to find Megumin waiting at the table, eating some leftover bread and sausage. She glanced up at him, and her eyes narrowed.
"I heard you walked Yunyun home last night."
"Yeah, so?" Kazuma asked, sitting in a chair and grabbing an apple. He rapped it on the table hard before it could bite his fingers, knocking it out, then took a big bite.
"Did you attempt anything perverted with her, LoliNEET?" Megumin demanded, her tone dangerous.
Kazuma's eyes flicked behind Megumin, then he took another bite, shrugging as he spoke around the fruit. "What's it to you?"
"Yunyun is my oldest and dearest friend," Megumin said, raising a fist in threat. "If you tried anything untoward with her-"
Before Megumin could expand on her dire threat, there was a gasp, and a thump. Megumin spun to see Yunyun standing with a basket of freshly baked pastries, her hands covering her mouth.
"Um, er, I mean, ah…Yunyun is, um, my rival, and I-" Megumin began, trying to act as if she didn't care.
But Yunyun burst into tears, running forward to throw her arms around Megumin. "I-I think y-you're my best friend too, M-Megumin!" Yunyun sobbed. "I-I've always t-thought we were f-friends!"
"Crimson Demons don't have friends," Megumin said, her tone choked, as she was obviously close to tears herself.
"Well, these two do," Kazuma said, standing and putting his arms around both girls. "Now, hug and make up."
Despite herself, Megumin started crying, and hugged Yunyun back.
"There, there," Kazuma said, giving them both a squeeze. "Now we're all friends. And Yunyun brought breakfast!"
"You jerk!" Megumin said, wiping tears from her eyes. "You just want the food she brought!"
"Eh, I'm a growing boy. Man's gotta eat," Kazuma said, taking the basket and holding it up to his nose. "Mmm, is that…a mochi donut?"
"Um, yes. D-do you like them?" Yunyun asked, wiping tears from her own eyes.
In answer, Kazuma took two, and shoved them in his mouth, then smiled, his cheeks puffed out by the squishy dough.
"You pig!" Megumin giggled, but she took a tart in one hand, and a sweet bun in the other, and began to eat like she was starving.
Yunyun just smiled and sat down with them, nibbling at a buttery roll. Before long, Darkness came in from her morning workout, and Aqua stumbled down from her room.
"See, it's nice to have breakfast with friends, isn't it?" Kazuma said, winking at Yunyun.
She blushed at him, then looked away. "Um, yes. F-friends…I…I always wanted friends…"
"Hmph. Don't think this means that we aren't rivals still," Megumin said, her eyes boring into Kazuma while she did so. "And I think I've decided on our latest contest."
Yunyun gasped and looked back at Megumin, her expression shocked and horrified. "I-I, I didn't, I'm not-"
"WHOEVER CAN EAT THE MOST WINS!" Megumin roared, and began to scarf down food as fast as she could.
"B-but you have a head start!" Yunyun protested, then tore into the food herself.
Despite her earlier behavior, the girl could eat.
Still, Kazuma had to wonder. He sure hadn't thought Megumin meant an eating contest, not at first. And he didn't think Yunyun did either.
He leaned back, and smiled to himself. He was beginning his Popular Phase.
But the smile didn't last long. If this was his Popular Phase, when he looked at Yunyun and Megumin, why did his heart sink?
Author's Note:
Once more, brought to you by the good folks on my discord server, who were begging for a Yunyun route. It will conclude...shortly. Probably.
Join the discord at /Qj7cGXqwA5