After finally admitting they were friends, Kazuma had thought that Megumin and Yunyun would stop it with the dumb contests. To his surprise, if anything, the dumb contests redoubled. There was a fishing contest, which Megumin claimed to win, though she vaporized half the lake. Then there was a "standing on one leg" contest, a jump rope contest, foot races, a singing contest (which Aqua won), and several cook offs. It was almost a daily occurrence, and most of the time, Kazuma got roped in one day or another.
He also found himself growing fonder and fonder of Yunyun, and having a harder and harder time figuring out which sort of dreams to ask Becky for.
"Well, since you're such a good customer…I suppose I could give you dreams of both," the succubus told him when he was hesitating over his form one day. She winked at Kazuma. "On the house."
"I, um, I accept," Kazuma said, and filled out the form. He felt a little guilty, but if he was going to be judging these stupid chuuni contests all the time, he deserved some sort of compensation, dammit.
It wasn't surprising that far too early one morning, Megumin greeted Yunyun's arrival at the mansion with a shout of: "TODAY I CHALLENGE YOU TO A CLEANING CONTEST!"
"Fine! But, um, Kazuma has to be the judge!" Yunyun shouted back, leaping across the threshold.
"Me? Aqua's the Goddess of Toilets. Let her judge you," Kazuma said, glaring at both of them from the batch of rice he was cooking.
"I am not the Goddess of Toilets!" Aqua complained, sticking her head in from the bathroom where she was cleaning toilets.
"Hmph. Megumin's just trying to get Yunyun to do her chores for her," Kazuma opined.
"What?! No I'm not!" Megumin protested, though she did look slightly guilty.
"O-of course she isn't!" Yunyun said, making a fist and nodding. "C-cleaning is an important part of a woman's s-skill set! That's um, how they show they're a um, you know…suitable…"
"A SUITABLE MATE! HA! I SHALL SNARE A LOVER BEFORE YOU EVER DO!" Megumin declared, posing. Then she frowned at looked at herself, in her usual robes. "I don't want to clean in this though. We should get suitable cleaning outfits first."
"Oh, I can help with that!" Aqua said eagerly, coming out of the bathroom. She was dressed in her old worker's outfit, which was what she wore whenever she had to do actual labor. She put her hands all over Megumin, rubbing her arms, her torso, and even her legs.
"W-what are you doing?!" Megumin gasped, shrinking back.
"Relax, I'm getting your measurements! I'll have cute maid outfits made for you in no time!" Aqua explained.
Kazuma dropped his rice paddle on his toe, but he didn't even yip. "Did you say…maid outfits?"
"Ooo, is that your fetish, Perzuma?" Aqua teased. She made a face. "Ugh, I guess I can make something else."
"N-No, um, I think…I'd like a maid outfit…" Yunyun said hesitantly, looking down at the floor. "A-A Crimson Demon is always dressed for the occasion."
Megumin shot a look at Yunyun, but then very deliberately looked away, also avoiding Kazuma's gaze. "Yes! We shall both wear the garb of a domestic for this battle! Aqua! Commence with the sewing!"
In just over an hour, Aqua had two french maid outfits ready for both girls. To Kazuma's disgust, they were actually functional maid outfits and not just cosplay, with appropriately long skirts and reasonable bodicies. Even Yunyun's didn't show any cleavage. Still, they had on cute white aprons and the lacy little caps as well.
"Hmm. What do you think, Kazuma?" Megumin asked, looking at him out of the corner of her eye as she lifted her skirts up to her knees and examined the little black heels Aqua had somehow cobbled together.
"It's, um, alright," Kazuma said, not bothering to disguise his ogling. "But, I mean, a real maid would call me 'Master' and offer to scrub my back in the bath."
"Pervert," Megumin snorted, but she looked pleased with herself.
"W-well, I-I have one more thing to wear," Yunyun said. She reached into her apron, and pulled out the pair of tiger stripped cat ears.
"What are you doing with that junk?" Megumin asked, shaking her head. "Don't tell me you brought a pair all the way here. Or did you get it off some sucker who got bliked?"
Instead of answering, Yunyun put the cat ears on. Then, she struck a pose and recited, "Nya nya nyaaan~!"
The cat tail sprouted, and Kazuma hastily put a rag to his nose to stop the bleeding.
"You are such a hikiNEET," Aqua said, rolling her eyes.
Megumin, however, was examining Yunyun, her lips pursed. Then she looked at Kazuma, and, very deliberately, pulled out her own box. Setting the cat ears on her head, she picked up Chomusuke, setting her on her own head, then posed with her hands in paws and said the magic words herself.
When the black cat tail sprouted from her back, Kazuma let out a "Herrrk!" and had to bend over double, pinching his nose.
Smugly, Megumin turned to Yunyun. "I win."
"I-it's not over yet. W-we haven't even started," Yunyun said, and tossed her head. She picked up a broom, and started sweeping up, even as Megumin grabbed a feather duster and began furiously brushing.
"Y-you know," Yunyun said, sidling over to Kazuma and smiling at him. "If you, um, help me win…I'll really…nyappreciate it."
Kazuma turned to Aqua. "I need a butler outfit."
"Got you covered!" Aqua said happily. "I made one for me and Darkness too! It's fun to cosplay!"
"What, butler outfits?" Kazuma asked, incredulous.
"No, you big dummy! I made us maid outfits! Do you think I'm dumb or something?!"
Kazuma raised a finger, but Aqua threw a suit and slacks in his face before he could answer.
"Just get to work!" Aqua barked.
Kazuma quickly hopped into the bathroom and changed, pausing to admiring himself in the mirror.
"Oh yeah. You are one sexy beast," he growled to himself, waggling his eyebrows and flexing in the mirror. Then he opened the door, and froze.
"Hmm, I don't know about a sexy beast," Megumin giggled, covering her mouth with one hand.
"M-More like a cute little kitten," Yunyun tittered.
Both of them were right outside the door, and had obviously been eavesdropping. For a moment longer, Kazuma's mind was blank, and his body was frozen.
Then he bowed, miming having a towel over one arm. "M'lady. How can I serve?"
"You can work for me instead of her," Megumin said, glancing at Yunyun and frowning as the other girl blushed.
"A tempting offer," Kazuma teased. "But what's in it for me?"
"Um, um…I-I have these," Yunyun said, and held up some cat ears, grinning shyly at Kazuma.
Kazuma hesitated only an instant, then, bowed his head towards Yunyun. She slipped the cat ears on him, and he struck a pose. "Nya nya nyaaa~"
He actually felt the tail sprout out of his back, and he couldn't help but try and get a view of his rear end, where a calico cat tail was lashing.
"I win this time," Yunyun said quietly behind him.
By the time Kazuma had turned around, Megumin had thrown a dirty feather duster in Yunyun's face, and her hand was already streaking towards his face. He went down from the unexpected slap.
Megumin tossed the pair of cat ears on top of Kazuma, then stalked off down the hall.
"DARKNESS!" Megumin bellowed, making the walls shudder despite her slender frame.
"Um, yes?" Darkness asked, peeking in. She too was dressed in a maid outfit, though hers was far more lewd, with a shorter skirt, fishnet stockings, and a low neckline that showed cleavage.
"Let's go see Becky," Megumin grumbled, ripping off her apron and tossing it to the side.
"Wait, really? Um, now? I-"
"YES NOW!" Megumin snapped.
"M-Megumin! W-wait! I, it was just a game!" Yunyun babbled, hurrying forward, her tail lashing around in irritation.
"No it wasn't," Megumin hissed, sticking a finger in Yunyun's face. "And you know it. We might have pretended to be rivals before, but we really are now! Enjoy your victorious battle, but I shall win the war!"
"Hey, hold on! You can't just haul off and slap a guy like that!" Kazuma said, rubbing his jaw and staggering ot his feet. "I believe in True Gender Equality! I told you-"
"You told me that if you were in a lewd situation, you would take advantage of it," Megumin said, turning back around. "Well. Now I'll just have to consult an expert. Come, Darkness."
Darkness looked worried, but also excited. "Um…yes. I'll just…we'll go see Becky."
"B-but, w-we can still be friends!" Yunyun said desperately, but Megumin ignored her, and she and Darkness left.
Tears in her eyes, Yunyun turned to Kazuma. "I…I just…I wanted all of us to be f-friends…I…I wasn't…I mean, I sort of…but…"
Kazuma wasn't sure what to say. He liked Megumin, maybe even more than that. But Yunyun…well, she wasn't likely to haul off and slap him. Things were a lot less intense with her. More relaxed. They were just friends right now, but, clearly Megumin didn't see things that way. What was he supposed to do?
"Hey you two! I went to all the trouble of making all these costumes! I'm not going to be stuck cleaning this huge place! You'd better get to cleaning right now, or so help me, I'll never make you another cosplay again!" Aqua ranted, glaring at them both from the top of the stairs.
"I…" Kazuma glanced at Yunyun, and she straightened, smiling up at Aqua.
"O-of course. That's what f-friends do. We'll help you, Aqua."
They got to cleaning, working together to make the mansion spick and span. The only real problem with living in such a huge place in Kazuma's estimation was that it really did take a lot of work to keep the place from starting to decay. It was swanky, sure, but if you let the dust creep in for even a few days, it started to look pretty dilapidated.
"Kazuma," Yunyun said quietly after they'd been working for about an hour. "H-how…how do you feel about Megumin?"
Swallowing, Kazuma kept his eyes on the carpet they were hauling outside to hang and beat. It was a thick, heavy thing, and while Darkness or Aqua might have been able to haul it around on their own, he certainly couldn't.
"I…I like her. Um, maybe a lot. I told you, I wanted to get closer to her, but, um…well…out of all my party members…she's the one I…well, that I have the most interest in."
"You're really good friends with Aqua though," Yunyun said, helping Kazuma heave the carpet down the steps and onto the lawn. "D-Darkness too. M-maybe better friends with Aqua than anyone…"
"Yeah, but…Aqua…I don't really see her as a girl, you know? And she doesn't see me as a guy. We're just…friends. Maybe best friends, but she's not…well, she's not human, you know?"
Tears filled Yunyun's eyes, and she nodded silently as they tossed the carpet over a line. There were already a dozen other rugs and mats out, so they took up rods to beat them with.
"Oh, crap. Look, I don't mean, like, 'Crimson Demon' not human. Because unless there's something I don't know, you're perfectly human, aside from the red eyes, and even those aren't THAT weird. Aqua's like, straight up not human."
Yunyun glanced around, blushing slightly. "Um, well, it's not just the eyes. There's…one…one other thing…"
Kazuma paused, the rod raised over his head before he could start beating the rug. "Yeah? Megumin mentioned…something."
Yunyun took a deep breath, then suddenly hiked up her skirts. Kazuma caught a flash of white, and he felt all the blood drain out of his head.
"Um, can you see it?" Yunyun asked, sounding nervous and a bit giddy.
"I can see them," Kazuma said, crouching down to get a good look at Yunyun's undergarments. They were rather practical looking, with a little pink bow on the front. Perfection. Not as sensuous or lewd as the black, but a picture of innocence. He was tempted, oh so tempted…
Then he saw the strange pattern on Yunyun's left thigh. He reached a hand out to touch it, and she gasped. Kazuma jerked his hand back, blushing furiously.
"Um, no…it's…ok. I…I want you to touch it. It's…it's my birth mark…all Crimson Demon's have one…"
Kazuma did so, feeling a thrill run up his spine. Yunyun trembled a little and let out a gasp, but it didn't sound offended at all. Then, she dropped her skirt, and Kazuma pulled his hand back.
He blinked a few times, then looked up. "Wait. Are you trying to seduce me?"
Yunyun looked away. "Um, well…at first…at first I just wanted to pair myself, um, with things you liked. L-like you told me to. And, um, well, everyone says you're a pervert…"
Coughing, Kazuma looked away, trying to look innocent.
Yunyun smiled at him. "Um, as long as it's me…or, um…Megumin…I don't mind. Too much."
"You, er, like it when I perv on Megumin?"
The question made Yunyun shift nervously. "W-well, um, she likes it…she likes you…a-and she turned you into a competition…I-I sort of, well, told myself I was just playing along…b-but you're the only boy…who looks at me."
Kazuma glanced at Yunyun, then reached out and gave her breasts a squeeze. "Even covered up like this, I don't see how other boys don't look."
"Um, that's not what I meant…" Yunyun said, gently taking Kazuma's hands. She lifted them up to her face. "You…you see…me. Y-you don't make fun of my stutter…y-you don't get scared, when, um, my eyes glow…o-or make fun of me for knowing Intermediate Magic…a-and, well…and you like to spend time with me. A-and I like to spend time with you."
As Kazuma looked into Yunyun's eyes, he forgot about everything else. Even Megumin. He took her head in his hands, drew her too him, and kissed her. She molded herself to him, pressing tightly, and kissed him back.
It was a bit awkward, as neither of them really knew what they were doing, but when they broke apart, they were both breathing hard.
"I…I like you too, Yunyun," Kazuma admitted. "Maybe…well…with Megumin, everything's a fight. A struggle. But with you…I can just relax."
Yunyun smiled again, tears coming to her eyes. "Thank you, Kazuma. B-but…" Sighing, Yunyun gently pushed Kazuma away. "Megumin…she is my best f-friend. Really. I-I do…I love her too…"
"Wait you mean like…you know…lovers?" Kazuma asked, feeling a bit excited.
Yunyun looked away. "You'll t-think I'm a pervert…"
"Well yeah," Kazuma agreed, and Yunyun cringed, pulling away from him.
Kazuma held up one hand, and shouted, "STEAL!"
Yunyun gasped, and her hands went to her nether regions. She looked up, shocked to see her panties in Kazuma's hand.
"Honestly, I'm a pervert. And you being a bit perverted? That's hot."
Yunyun suddenly grinned a bit wickedly, then looked around. "Um…how long do you think Megumin w-will be gone? W-with Becky…"
"Honestly? Probably until we hear an Explosion. I think she gets off on them," Kazuma said with a shrug.
"Um…yeah. I think…I think you're probably right," Yunyun sighed. Then she lifted up the massive rug, which trailed on the ground, making a short of tent. "Um, I want my panties back. A-and I want you to give them to me…"
Then she stepped into the dark opening. Kazuma blinked, then looked at the panties in his hand.
Then he went into the carpet. It was close, and a bit stuffy, and Kazuma was pressed up against Yunyun rather tightly.
"I-I think I know how to win," Yunyun breathed in Kazuma's ear. "B-but…um, n-not…not all the way. OK?"
"Er, OK," Kazuma said, his heart pounding.
"G-good. Now, I'm going to take your underwear. A-and we'll trade."
True to her word, Yunyun did remove Kazuma's underwear, and the rest of his clothes. Her eyes glowed brightly enough to light the interior of the thick carpet, and she looked up at him, grinning mischievously as she pulled her dress down, then unhooked her bra and let it fall. "N-now…I'm going to pair myself w-with positive reinforcement…"
The next minute was very positively reinforcing. Unfortunately, Kazuma didn't last long in Yunyun's…embrace… even inexperienced as she obviously was. He leaned on her shoulders, gasping for breath as she used a rag to clean her chest.
"That..that was…"
"Now it's your turn," Yunyun said quietly, and stood up, gently pushing Kazuma down.
"My turn?" Kazuma asked, his head still swimming slightly.
"D-do what you did earlier. But, um, a bit higher. I-I'll tell you how fast, just…um…be gentle…I never…ooo!"
Kazuma didn't have the assets to use as Yunyun had on him, but they figured it out. It took her a bit longer, and there was still a mess at the end, but Kazuma used Create Water, Kindle, and Gust to clean them and their clothes when they were done.
"I…I think you do win," Kazuma said as they stepped out from the carpet. He froze as he did so, spying two figures returning. Megumin was walking, and so was Darkness. The sun was setting behind Yunyun and him both, framing them so that Megumin couldn't miss.
She looked horrified at first, then turned her back on them both. Darkness looked hurt too, but she sighed and nodded, then put an arm around Megumin.
"Oh shit," Kazuma groaned.
"It's OK," Yunyun said quietly. "I've talked to Bethandrilina. I'll go talk to Megumin."
"Wait, YOU know Becky!?" Kazuma gasped, feeling the blood drain from his face.
Yunyun gave him an incredulous look. "Lolisa and I-I have partied up w-with Dust, sometimes. I-I know a lot of the s-succubi. H-how do you think I knew how to do, um…what we just did? B-but wait here."
Kazuma strained his ears to hear what was said, but Megumin turned away from Yunyun at first, obviously crying a little.
"Kazuma, come away," Darkness said, coming over and putting a hand on his arm. "I think…they need privacy."
"But I should be a man! I, er, well, I have to tell Megumin…I chose Yunyun…" Kazuma said, looking pained.
Darkness sighed. "That hurts me too, you know. But give Megumin some space. Come. Walk with me."
Kazuma did, glancing over his shoulder. Megumin was stalking away from Yunyun now, but Yunyun hurried up, talking quietly. Megumin stiffied, then grudgingly nodded. They walked away towards the distant hills.
"So, um…you were carrying a torch for me too?" Kazuma asked awkwardly.
Darkness nodded, but didn't say anything, looking serious.
"I, er, well…I do still think of you as a friend, but…"
"But we shall remain friends. It is…well, it hurts, Kazuma. But…after talking with Becky…I think my needs, and your needs…we are not as compatible as I wished. In another life, another time…perhaps I would have been bold enough to do what Yunyun just did," Darkness said, sounding mournful.
"We, um, we didn't go all the way, we just, um…"
"Kazuma, I am a maiden, not a fool. The way you two were holding hands, standing together…you are lovers now. I understand. Yunyun is a sweet girl. I am…happy for both of my friends," Darkness said, smiling. Then her expression fell. "But, well…Megumin…"
"She, um, she isn't going to take this well," Kazuma agreed, kicking at a rock. "I'm not looking forward to that conversation."
"No. I could tell the two of you were becoming, um…close. And well, with what Megumin was saying, I had hoped…well. I'm happy for you and Yunyun," Darkness sighed. Then she picked up a poll, and started beating a rug. She grunted in satisfaction. "Yes. This will make me feel much better."
Silently, Kazuma got his rod, and started working from the opposite side. After a couple of hours when they were nearly finished bringing in the rugs, the ground shook, and there was a bright flash a few miles distant.
"Huh. Guess she just needed an Explosion," Kazuma mused. Then he dropped his rod. "OH SHIT! YUNYUN!"
"Kazuma, wait!" Darkness called, but Kazuma turned around, throwing out his hands.
"BIND!" the wires Kazuma always kept up his sleeve shot out, wrapping about Darkness, and sending her crashing to the ground.
"Oh! Oh you horrible man, to leave me bound, and unable to move, to constrict me-"
"Yeah yeah, but I have to save my new girlfriend!" Kazuma shouted, and took off sprinting. He turned on Tracking, easily finding Yunyun and Megumin's footprints and took off as fast as he could. He burned through most of his MP activating Expeditious Retreat a few times to get that extra burst of speed, and covered the three miles in mere minutes.
The footprints led to a small grove just off the road, beyond which a crater was still smoking. Gasping for breath, Kazuma plunged into the brush, thorns tearing at him as branches whipped at him. Tears streaked his face, and he couldn't decide what he wanted to find. Whatever it was, a dead Megumin or Yunyun was definitely not a part of it. What if they'd killed each other? He'd-
Kazuma came to the clearing at the center of the grove, and immediately halted. In the darkness, he couldn't quite make out too many details, but…
"Darkvision," Kazuma muttered, something he probably should have done several minutes ago, but when his vision did clear, he let out a rather loud gasp of surprise.
Yunyun jerked up from where she'd been crouching at the same moment that Megumin's head snapped up and her eyes opened. She saw Kazuma in the darkness instantly, and let out a cry of alarm, grabbing her hat and trying to cover herself.
"O-oh. Um, that wash fasht," Yunyun slurred, wiping her mouth as she turned, still kneeling on the ground.
"Did you just?!" Kazuma demanded, but it was rather obvious from the fact that both girls were dressed in only their birthday suits just what actually had happened.
"Kazuma! You can't *hic* be here," Megumin babbled, trying in vain to hide herself. Even her hat wasn't that big. "You're not shuposhed…shuposhed…"
"Kazuma, um, w-we're not done yet. Um…can you go…wait on the road?" Yunyun asked, not even bothering to try to cover herself. "Um…we'll find you."
"I uh…sure?" Kazuma turned himself around and went back to the road, where he sat down on the way side and just…existed, for a few minutes.
Yunyun is two-timing me with Megumin…what does that even mean?
He wasn't really sure how long he sat there in the dark, but he heard giggling and stumbling before to long, and he hastily stood. He found Yunyun carrying Megumin on her back, but…
"Er, Yunyun…are you supposed to be wearing Megumin's robes?" Kazuma asked, blushing furiously. They were not exactly the best fit for her, considering their rather different figures.
"I-I'm wearing my girlfriendsh *hic* clothesh," Yunyun tittered. "And she'sh…she'sh…"
"I shtole hersh," Megumin tittered.
Then Yunyun tripped, and Kazuma had to catch them both before they ended up on the ground.
"Are you both…drunk?" Kazuma asked, uncertain.
"I…swhipped…Aquash…bubbly," Yunyun giggled. She leaned close to Kazuma's ear, and said in a very loud whisper that nearly deafened in, "I've been planning thish!"
"K-kazuma, I'm shorry…I *hic* thought I wash in love with you," Megumin said, patting Kazuma on the head as she held on to him. "But…but…"
"Shhh, that'sh shetp two," Yunyun giggled. She helped put Megumin onto Kazuma's back. "Oof, you're h-heavy, you know?"
"You, um, don't look so steady yourself," Kazuma said, still very uncertain of just what was going on.
"I, um, I'm not," Yunyun admitted, and leaned on Kazuma as they began the walk back to the mansion. Both girls smelled of alcohol, and Megumin fell asleep on Kazuma's back after they'd only been walking for a little while.
Kazuma glanced at Yunyun, who was giggling to herself still, while leaning on him. "So…you planned this?"
"Not at firsht," she tittered. "But…but I wash becoming shuch good friendsh with you…a-and with M-Megumin…and she really…liked you…and I liked you…sho I used some *hic* shocial engineering. A-and some magical too."
"This involves Becky somehow, doesn't it?" Kazuma asked suspiciously.
Yunyun giggled and nodded. "She's b-been giving you dreams of M-Megumin and me. I-I ashked her to, a-and she shaid, um…yesh."
Kazuma missed half a step and nearly ended up on the ground. Only Yunyun managed to catch him and keep him on his feet. "You're not as drunk as you act, are you?"
"Um…m-maybe?" Yunyun giggled.
"And Megumin?" Kazuma prompted.
Yunyun blushed. "Um…well. We'll figure it out in the morning."
That night, Kazuma was kicked out of Megumin's room by Yunyun, but she certainly spent the night in there. Kazuma was tempted to simulate a succubus dream on his own, but decided against it. He ended up falling asleep despite himself, with visions of being a true Harem Protagonist dancing in his head.
He awoke early the next morning and went quietly downstairs to cook breakfast. He put in extra effort, making the fluffiest French Toast his Cooking Skill knew how to, with fresh cream and honey to go on it.
When he heard footsteps on the stairs, he turned around excitedly, but it was just Aqua.
"Good morning! Ooo, breakfast!" Aqua said happily, and dug into one of the plates Kazuma had prepared.
Grumbling, he made some more, and was just finishing up when Megumin and Yunyun came down, this time wearing their own clothes.
"Um, good morning. I made breakfast," Kazuma said, setting plates on the table.
"Thank you!" Yunyun said brightly.
Megumin just glanced at Kazuma, looking both guilty and embarrassed, then set about quietly eating in a somewhat mechanical fashion.
"Hey, er, Aqua…want to run to the guild and see if they have any good quests?" Kazuma said when Aqua looked up from her demolished breakfast, obviously interested in more.
"Huh? Why would I-"
"I'll make it worth two stickers and special bubbly if you can find a really good one. Take your time; maybe wait a little while. I hear Luna doesn't post the really good quests until later in the day. Here, take a few eris and get yourself a snack and some drinks while you wait."
"Wow, really? Awesome! I'll find the best quest ever!" Aqua promised, then skipped out the front door, humming happily to herself.
Kazuma took a plate of his own and sat down by the two girls, but didn't speak at first. He took a few bites, but wasn't really all that hungry.
"So, um…I guess…I guess you know I'm gay now," Megumin said, looking up with a terribly guilty expression on her face. "I…I really thought I liked you, but, um…"
"Megumin, don't be silly," Yunyun said with a shake of her head. "I k-know you like Kazuma too. W-we've been competing over him, h-haven't we?"
Megumin shot bolt upright, and gaped at Yunyun, who quietly took a sip of tea before taking another bite of toast. "What?! How can you say that!? I remember last night, mostly! I remember what we did, and how it felt, and then there was this morning and-"
Megumin's jaw clicked shut, and she looked down at her plate, though she did steal a glance or two at Kazuma.
"W-we're just good friends," Yunyun said, putting a hand over Megumin's. "B-best friends. And, um…lovers."
"That doesn't make sense," Megumin said, her eyes narrowing. Then her gaze shifted to Kazuma, then back to Yunyun. "So, wait. What WERE the two of you doing. Was it what it looked like!?"
"No!" Kazuma said at the same time as Yunyun said, "Yes."
"Well which is it?" Megumin said, her eyes glowing red as coals, a death grip on her knife.
"We didn't go all the way!" Kazuma said, edging away from Megumin.
Her nostrils flared, and she whirled on Yunyun. "We, um…did what you and I did…basically…"
"WELL THAT SOUNDS LIKE YOU WERE CHEATING ON ME!" Megumin raged, standing up, and the sparkles of an Explosion began to form in the air around them.
"I love both of you," Yunyun said simply. "A-and you love each other. D-don't you?"
There was an audible pop, and the pressure of the mounting Explosion suddenly faded, the glow going out of Megumin's eyes. She looked stunned, and her mouth worked silently for a moment before words came out.
"I, er, well…I mean…" Megumin coughed. "After, um, what we did…I thought…you'd chosen me. And, um, I'd chosen you."
"I did, and you did," Yunyun agreed. Then she reached out, took Megumin's hand, and put it in Kazuma's. "B-but I choose Kazuma too. A-and I don't want…I don't want my b-best friends to not like each other."
"This is the sort of thing I expected from him, not you," Megumin said, her tone acid. She took a deep breath and stood. "This is tying me in knots. I'm not-"
"Knots!" Kazuma gasped, jumping up. "OH CRAP OH CRAP OH CRAP!"
He dashed outside, Megumin and Yunyun hot on his heels. He found Darkness right where he'd left her, her maid outfit now soaked from the morning dew, her bonds now so tight they had left serious bruising and even drawn some blood.
"W-what a horrible, horrible man! What a hideous night! To be left, outside, alone, nearly frozen, with no covering! It was the most miserable experience of my life!" Darkness sighed as Kazuma, Yunyun, and even Megumin frantically tried to rub her arms and legs to bring some feeling and circulation back into them.
"You loved every moment of it, didn't you?" Kazuma muttered.
Darkness shuddered. "Can…can you do it again?"
"Absoultely not!" Megumin and Yunyun said at the same time.
"Why should you care?!" Megumin demanded, pointing an accusatory finger at Yunyun. "You're the one who's acting…like…like a pervert!"
"I-I said I loved both of you, n-not, um…s-sorry, Darkness, but um…w-we're friends, but, ah, not…" Yunyun blushed.
Darkness blinked, and looked back and forth between the three of them. "Wait. I don't understand. What is happening?"
"Nothing!" Megumin snapped, and jerked at Darkness's hand. "Stand up!"
"Alright…" Darkness said slowly, and got to her feet.
"Come on! I need an Explosion! And then, Becky!" Megumin growled, and started heading away.
"W-wait, Megumin!" Yunyun said, trying to grab her friend's hand. "W-what about-"
"I'm FURIOUS with you!" Megumin snarled, whirling on Yunyun. Then she pointed at Kazuma. "Him too! I don't…I don't…ARGHHH! COME ON DARKNESS!"
Megumin stomped off, but Darkness hesitated, glancing at Kazuma and Yunyun. Kazuma didn't know what to do, and Yunyun looked poleaxed.
"Just…keep an eye on her, OK?" Kazuma said, taking the trembling Yunyun into his arms. "Don't let her blow up anything too important."
"I…yes. I will be her shield. But Kazuma? Yunyun? I expect some honest answers as to what is happening later. Megumin is my friend as well. And I don't want to see her hurt any more than I do either of you."
As Darkness left, Yunyun turned her face to Kazuma's chest and started to cry, sniffling and weeping. Not knowing what to say, Kazuma just held her for a bit, feeling awkward and exposed.
"I…I didn't want to lose either of you!" Yunyun blubbered. "B-but she's so angry! I-it just made sense! W-we all love each other…w-why can't we share!?"
Kazuma swallowed, rubbing Yunyun's back. "I…I sort of…understand. Why she's angry."
Yunyun tried to jerk back from Kazuma, but he held on. She looked up into his eyes, tears streaming down her cheeks. "B-but…you said…I-I thought…"
"Yunyun…I think I am in love with you. And…the thought of you with someone else…even Megumin…it hurts a little," Kazuma admitted. Yunyun looked crushed at that, and he quickly added, "Not that you two being together wasn't hot! And, um, as long as it's just Megumin…I think I'm OK with it. If, er, I get to be with her too…more than OK, actually."
"That…that was what I-I wanted," Yunyun admitted, turning her head so that her ear rested on Kazuma's chest. "A-all three of us. T-together. I thought…M-Megumin…she would want it to…"
"So…you got her drunk and, um, took advantage of her?" Kazuma asked. "And, well, bribed Becky? That's…a little creepy and weird, Yunyun."
"It's social engineering," Yunyun muttered. "L-like you explained…B-Behavior Modification…"
"Yeah, I er…um, well, it worked on me, but…" On a whim, Kazuma kissed Yunyun on the forehead, then lifted her up to kiss her on the lips. It was longer this time, tender and passionate both.
"Even if it's just us," Kazuma said quietly. "I'll love you. No matter what. I'd kinda like that, actually. Will you…will you be my girlfriend, Yunyun?"
"W-we're already lovers," she laughed, sounding half hysterical. "B-but…choosing between you a-and Megumin…" Gently, Yunyun pushed Kazuma away. "I-I need some time to think."
"You sure? We could use my room this time. No need for a rug," Kazuma suggested, trying not to sound as hopeful and desperate as he was.
For a moment, Yunyun looked like she would say yes. Then, she shook her head. "No. I-I'm sorry. First…first we need…we need to be honest with M-Megumin. And…and decide…S-sorry. I…I need to walk myself home alone…I need to think."
And so, Kazuma was left standing alone, not certain if he'd lost both of the girls he had come to love.
Author's Note:
Yes, this means there is a part three. Please put your pitchforks down.