A/N: This chapter is filler, because I need you in Erica's head again before the drama starts. You're not supposed to like Erica for the next few chapters. You're supposed to think she's selfish and self centred. I want you to hate her a little bit. I want you to think she needs to just suck it up and deal. It'll make it all the more satisfying when she starts to pull herself together. She can't just snap out of it though, she has to fight her way out. Battle her demons.

Reviews and feedback, please! I KNOW people are reading. Let me know what you're thinking.

Chapter 7

Her pregnancy was front page fodder now, and she was fielding calls and congratulations from every direction. The press was far less critical than she thought they would be, though, they were quick to point out that she'd fallen off the wagon while pregnant.

Her twelve checkup and ultrasound had come and go, three weeks ago, a month maybe? She wasn't counting. She couldn't be bothered.

The whole family had come along. Jack, doting husband? Fiancé? He wasn't any of those to her anymore, he'd lost that right when he'd walked out on their wedding. With Lily and Reggie in toe. Bianca had been invited, but had turned them down, saying she was busy. But they all knew the truth: She didn't want to be there. Couldn't stand the sight of Erica these days.

She'd listened to them coo and oh and aww over the baby, who despite everything was growing and developing normally. They talked names and midnight feedings. Joked about dirty diapers. They were happy. Excited. Ready to be a family.

She wanted drink and this child was making it hard for her to do so. She couldn't go to bars any longer, as no one would serve a visibly pregnant woman. And had to resort to hiding alcohol around her office and at home. Which was proving more and more difficult as someone always seemed to come by to check just that.

She didn't drink every day or a lot. Only having a splash here and there when she did.

She really only drank when she couldn't bare it anymore. Only when Bianca came by, proudly pregnant with her rapist's child. Or when Kendall showed up out of nowhere to try and make nice. Or when she ran into David on her way her out of her ultrasound.

Or anytime she breathed, really.

No one needed to tell her the dangers of drinking while she was pregnant. She knew what she was doing. She knew that it was wrong and she was putting her child's life at risk. But she couldn't help herself, and if she honest, she didn't want too.

Right now she was counting down the minutes until she was all alone, until she could pull her Vodka bottle out from her filing cabinet and get lost in it.

"What a blessing to have been given, darling."

Myrtle and Opal had surprised her at work. They'd come with gifts and good wishes. Bubbly and joy filled. Prattling on about miracles and gifts from God, and how fate always had a way of rewarding those who don't give up.

She wondered if she could wipe those smiles off their faces with news that Jack might not be the father. That everything they were spouting was likely a lie and this child was likely David's.

"So this means this little peanut would have been made right around Thanksgiving," Opal ginned, "Gives you something completely different to be thankful for, doesn't it?"

"Amazing you and Jack had time to make a baby with all the chaos that went on that night," Myrtle mused.

Erica nodded and smiled. Nodded and smiled. Went along with what they said. Pretended that she was interested. Pretended that any of this was what she wanted.

It was how she lived these days. Phony smiles. Perfectly timed nods and the occasional laugh. She didn't feel. Didn't care. Didn't want any of this.

Her family had all lied to her. Kept her in the dark and plotted for months, how to keep the biggest news of her life from her.

Bianca lied to her face. Looked into her eyes. Hugged her. Said she loved her. All the while knowing that bastard's child grew inside of her.

Jackson had insisted she couldn't take care of herself. Insisted she didn't know what she was doing and in the same breath claimed to love her. Claimed to want to spend the rest of his life, while simultaneously helping Bianca deceive her.

Kendall kept up with that damn lie and played along like she was some sort of victim in all of this. Some helpless and selfless wallflower who was only protecting her sister.

And David…

"Honey…." Opal asked, waving a hand in front of Erica. "Where did you go to just now?"

Erica gritted out a smile. "I'm sorry. So much is going on."

They nodded. "We were just wondering what you're hoping for?"

"Hoping for?"

"Sure are you wanting another Kane Woman or a cute little Montgomery Man?" Opal asked, and Myrtle nodded.

Her eyes drifted down to her stomach. She laid an obligatory hand over her baby, and smiled up at them. "I just want a healthy baby." She didn't care if this was a boy or a girl. She didn't care who the father was. She didn't even really care if the pregnancy went to term. What was the point of all of this? Nothing was ever going to heal the holes in her heart. Nothing was ever going to bring back the life she had before Michael Cambias came into their lives.

"Oh a little boy that looks just like Jackson," Opal cooed, a radiant smile titling her lips.

"With Erica's eyes," Myrtle nodded.

Or David's. She almost wanted to say it. Wipe the smiles off their faces. Bring them down with her, even just a little.

Why did they insist on doing this to her? On reminding her what a horrible person she was. What a terrible mother she was. Her daughters were liars and she was ambivalent to the child inside of her. She'd failed them and was failing this child. Why did they have to pretend that everything was alright? That life and happiness were something she deserved or even wanted any more.

Why couldn't they leave her be so she could have a drink?

To be continued