A/N:Gotta get worse before it gets better. Also, you knew I'd go there with them at some point.

Chapter 13

Miranda Mona Montgomery was a beautiful child; who's birth had already brought the people of Pine Valley more peace than they were used to.

Mother and daughter had come through the delivery perfectly and were happily greeting family and friends until visiting hours were over.

"Bianca is just fine," David smiled, offering Erica a cup of tea he'd gone to get her from the hospital cafeteria. "And so is Miranda."

He watched her shake her head and close her eyes at that.

"7 pounds 6 ounces and 21 inches," He continued, sliding into a chair next to her.

They were one floor above Labor and Delivery, in the waiting room attached to the newborn nursery. He'd let her choose where they waited, and was only mildly surprised that this was where they ended up.

He'd checked her heart and pulse, questioned if she was in any pain or having any contractions, before leading her away. Jackson hadn't been happy, but had been unwilling to leave Bianca, choosing to return to Labor and Delivery to wait for news. He didn't blame the guy, he himself had wanted to be with Bianca, rather than having to get news from nurses.

But this was just as important. He didn't know if they could talk her off a roof a second time.

"The nurse said she has full head of dark hair. Her eyes are blue now, but they are likely to turn brown. Like you and Bianca," He added, testing her reaction. She hadn't spoken anything other than affirmations that the was fine and didn't need a full exam since he'd helped her off the roof.

She nodded at that, but kept her eyes closed. Her hands shook and her chest felt tight. That child was born. She was alive. And she would soon be laying in an obsolete just in front of them.

What had Bianca done?

"Erica?" He questioned, "Do you want to go see Bianca?" He knew the answer, but asked anyway. Needing any kind of reaction out of her.

"No," She bit out, eyes popping open and landing firmly on him. "I do not want to see Bianca."

"Alright," He confirmed, "If we stay here much longer, they are going to be brining Miranda up here."

Why had she chosen to come here in the first place? She thought she wanted to feel close to life. To all the good that was still trying exist around her. Try to feel something for her own child, who was happily kicking away inside of her. She hadn't thought about Bianca's child joining the other babies. "I don't want to see the child, either."

David nodded. "Where do you want me to take you?"

Why was he asking so much of her? Couldn't he just let her go? Home. To a bar, anywhere. Anywhere that wasn't here. That wasn't this hospital. Anywhere that was reminding her that Bianca had ruined all of their lives.

"I can take you home," He offered, softly, watching her closely. She was trying. Wanting to process this. Wanting to make herself feel. Anything.

"I want a drink!" She told him through a shaky breath. "I want a Vodka on the rocks."

He forced out a hard breath and nodded at her. "I never pegged you for a Vodka fan. I always thought you would drink something more sophisticated. Bourbon. Brandy. Scotch."

"Vodka burns as it goes down. Hurts and pierces the throat," She told him, her voice calm and distant. Her eyes were much the same.

"And you like the pain?"

"Pain is the only thing I can feel," She told him dryly.

"And what about your baby?" He raised an eyebrow at her. On the roof she said that hadn't had a drink in over a week. She was trying, and clearly not for herself. "What do you feel for your baby?"

She was silent for a few seconds, eyes drifting down to her stomach. She was a few weeks past half way into this pregnancy, and no matter what she did or how hard she tried, this child was determined to come into the world. "I don't want to hurt it," She offered softly, "I am trying not to drink for him or for her."

"That's all?" He wondered, watching her eyes return to meet his. There were tears there, ones she was biting back and willing not to spill.

She shrugged. "What do you want me to feel? Love? What does that even mean? All of you claim to love me and could lie to my face without so much as batting an eye. Do you want me to feel joy? Joy that I'm carrying a child who is going to share his or her childhood with Michael Cambias spawn? Do you want me to be happy that I don't know who the father is? Or how the hell I needed up here?" She eased up from her chair, steadying herself once she was on her feet. "You want this child to be my lifeline, but really I just want it here so I can have a drink."

He stood up at that, and took a step toward her. Close enough that he could reach out and touch her. "You're a wonderful mother, Erica and you will be to this child too."

She shook her head and stepped back. She didn't want him that close. Couldn't have him that close. She didn't trust her heart not to push her into his arms. "Why don't you ask, David? Why hasn't your lawyer already sent me papers? Why am I here and not in some rehab center being forced to dry out so you can protect what might be your child?"

"Because I trust you," He told her, closing the distance between them once again. "Because I know that you would never hurt a child and that you're the best mother I could ask for, for a child."

She shook heard. "I almost believe you."

He nodded and stepped in again. His hands went to her cheeks. He tipped her head up and made sure her eyes couldn't leave his. "Do you think this is easy? Keeping this secret too? Do you think I don't want to shout from the roof tops that Erica Kane is probably having my baby? Do you think I want to let Jackson be daddy in the all the ways that count? Do you think I want to miss feeling her kick and move? Do you think I like any of this?"

She shook her head against his hands, and blinked back tears. "She?" She pushed out on a sob. "You think it's a girl?"

He nodded slowly, eyes locked with hers. He leaned in slowly, and let his lips touch hers.

This was the last thing either of them should be doing. It was probably the worst thing they should be doing. And yet, they were content to do it.

Her head titled back and she leaned into him, lips parting against his as she silently gave him permission to kiss her with all he had.

To their left, a nurse wheeled a baby into the nursery, settling her in the first row, just left of center.

To be continued