A/N:The worst thing Erica's "family" and friends ever did to her, IMO is try to tell her that because Bianca was okay with Miranda she needed to be. So I played with that!

(This was tough to write, so I imagine it's going to be tough to read)

Chapter 14

God she hated him. Hated the way he played God. The way he lied without batting one of his gorgeous eyelashes. The way he could look at her with so much love it made her breath catch, and stab her in the heart at the same time.

She hated the way he made her feel. Raw. Open. Vulnerable. Hated the way his lips breathed air into her lungs. The way hands trembled and burned against her skin.She hated the way he made her heart skip a beat.

How even now, when there was nothing left of her heart, he still threatened to make her feel again. Threatened to tip her over the edge and back into the light.

They were in public. In a waiting room. A hallway to behind them and a window to the nursey just in front of them. Anyone could walk in. Anyone could see them.

But that didn't stop this. Didn't quell the desire. Didn't temper the fever of lips or the wandering of hands.

This was crazy. It was insanity at its finest. It was the last thing that either of them needed.

"Miranda should be up here by now…" Voices were saying from the corridor.

They moved as quickly as they could, untangling limbs and prying swollen lips apart. She took a step back, and smoothed her hair. Patted at her dress. Pretending they were doing anything other than what they had been.

Jackson turned into the waiting room first, Kendall Lena, Maggie, and Myrtle following closely behind. They could hear Ryan and Greenlee coming behind.

"Sweetheart," Jack smiled, "there you are."

This was Miranda's welcoming committee and they'd come to ensure she was settled happily in the nursery.

God forbid should anything happen to Bianca's precious daughter.

"Have you seen her yet?" Jack asked motioning to the nursery window.

Erica shook her head. He really believed she would choose to walk to that window. Knowingly look at that child. Condone the pain Bianca forced into their lives.

"She's gorgeous, Erica," Maggie nodded, moving toward the window.

"She really is, darling," Myrtle offered softly, having gotten close enough to Erica to squeeze her hand. "Come and have a look?"

David watched the scene before him. Lena, Kendall and Ryan with Greenlee, were all watching through the glass. Pointing and cooing at Miranda. Jack was still near them waiting for Erica.

He didn't like the look in her eyes. This wasn't the usual dark; emptiness he'd come to know in the last few months. This was fear. Shame. Guilt. And anger, so much anger. This was all her pain reflecting back at him.

Erica shook her head, more forcefully this time. But neither Jack nor Myrtle seemed to notice, or care.

"She's right here," Jack started, reaching for Erica's arm so he could lead her the few steps to the nursery window.

Her eyes slammed shut, and she shook her head. Her body tensed and locked. Her chest was tight and her breaths were coming out faster and harder. She wanted to yell at them to leave her be. Run away. Out the door. Down the hall. All the way down to her car.

She wanted to go home. Crack open one of her hidden bottles and drown in it. Why were they making her do this?

"She looks so much like Bianca," He was saying, as they stopped in front of the window. "Take a look honey, she's amazing."

She shook her head, and squeezed her eyes shut tighter. She wouldn't look. She couldn't bare it.

"It's alright," Jack soothed, "She is perfect." His hands were on her shoulders and he was offering her a sympathetic squeeze.

She thought she might vomit. Might faint. Might fall to the floor in heap. What part of she didn't want to see this god damn child didn't they understand?

David was at her left now, eyes darting between Miranda and Erica.

She was a gorgeous child. She did look just like Bianca. There was no trace of Michael on her sweet face.

At least they couldn't see it. That didn't mean Erica wasn't looking at someone else.

Jack whispered something in her ear, and kissed her cheek and pointed again to Miranda. "Just look at her, Erica. It's alright."

Her eyes shot open at that. "It is not alright and I don't want to see her. Ever."

"You have to," Jack nodded, "It will make it real. You'll see her for who she really is. Bianca's child. Your granddaughter."

Her own child was wild inside of her. Hands and feet flaying against her, he or she was agreeing with her to run as fast as she could manage. "No," She forced out, but Jack shook his head.

"Jackson maybe…" Myrtle tried to offer, to no avail.

"This has to stop, now," He told Erica. "We have to start moving forward. You lived in fear that she was going to be a monster, what she'd look like. What she would be like. She's here and none of that is true. She's perfect. It's time to let go and move on. Can you do that, sweetheart? Can you look at her and start to let it all go?"

She blew out a hard breath and looked him dead in the eyes. "You want me to look…" She hissed, taking the last step between herself and the glass of the nursery. "You want me to see, fine," She yelled. "Fine."

And so she did. Looked at that child. The tiny cherub cheeked, dark haired, little girl before her.

David and Maggie watched Erica, noting instantly the way her body had tensed at the sight of Miranda.

"She's not, okay," Maggie whispered to David.

"Erica," Jack started, "isn't she beautiful?"

Her eyes slammed shut and she took a step back.

What was beautiful about any of this?

"Erica?" Maggie asked having taken a step toward her, "are you alright?"

Kendall shook her head and muttered something from behind them. While Myrtle took a step toward Erica.

Erica blew out a few hard, shaky breaths, as she tried to steady herself. Her chest was tight and her heart actually ached. She squeezed her eyes tightly, trying to will the memories away.

Trying to will away the feel of Michael Cambias' hands on her as he tried to pin her to the couch in Enchantment. Trying to will away the feel of his breath hot against her as she struggled to break free.

"No," She forced out on a hard breath, "keep him away from me!" She shook her head now, memories drifting. She was pinned to the floor this time; her pink party dress being torn as Richard Fields forced her back against the cold tiles.

"Erica," Myrtle asked, worry filling her words. "it's alright, darling."

"No!" She screamed into the room. Thunder clapped in her head and lightening sparked behind her eyes. She couldn't be sure if she was running from Michael or trying fight against Richard Fields, but she couldn't breathe.

"Erica," David started, he wanted to reach out to cheek her pulse, but wasn't sure she could handle being touched at the moment. "You're okay," He soothed, "take a few deep breaths, and open your eyes."

"Honey," Jack said, at her left. "What's wrong? Are you alright?"

She shook her head and stepped back again. "NO!"

"David," Myrtle asked, eyes still on Erica. "She needs a doctor."

"I don't think it's a good idea to touch her," Maggie interjected.

"Cut the drama, Erica," Kendall hissed moving toward them. "This isn't about you."

"Erica open your eyes," Jack asked of her, moving in front of her now. "Open your eyes, sweetheart."

She shook her head again and struggled to force out breaths. Why was this happening to her? Why had Bianca done this?

David reached out slowly, telling her what he was doing as he did it. His hand met her wrist and she jumped. "Jesus, Erica…" He whispered, her pulse thudding wildly against his hand.

There was tears on her cheeks and she shook under his touch. She could hear them around her. Hear David trying to calm her down. Hearing Jack's panicked tone at the sight of her. Kendall and her venomous tongue were hissing in the back of her ears.

Maggie and Myrtle were on their way out the door, down to the emergency room to warn Joe what was happening. Ryan and Greenlee were trying to take Kendall out of the room. And Lena was watching quietly from the corner.

The room spun and the voices drifted in and out. She couldn't run any more. Fight any harder. She was so tired and they were so strong.

"We need to get her out of here," David commanded to Jack.

She swayed on her feet. Maybe if she fainted this would be over sooner? Maybe if she wasn't awake, she wouldn't remember. She could just pretend it never happened.

"Erica…" Jack cried watching helplessly as she tipped backward.

David was there instantly, having anticipated this exact moment. He scooped up her quickly into his arms, instructing Jack to go ahead of him and open the elevator. Her pulse rate was off the charts and he could feel her heart racing against his chest. Her breathing was labored and if he didn't know better, he would say she was trying to give up. Trying to let go. Trying to make it all stop.

He would be damned if he let that happen, and nodded to Jack as he held the elevator door.

She could give up if she wanted to.

They wouldn't give up on her.

To be continued