Hermione couldn't stop her heart from racing, no matter how hard she tried. She felt utterly stupid, standing in front of the entrance to the Ravenclaw Tower, fidgeting nervously, as she awaited Sirius' arrival.

It wasn't that he was late. Hermione made sure to arrive at their predestined meeting spot a lot earlier. She couldn't find a place for herself anyway – her nerves made it completely impossible. Even though Sirius had a couple more minutes to get here on time, she was really anxious. Not only was she about to risk getting a detention, but also she wasn't entirely sure if she was ready to talk to him. Besides, he could always not show up, which bothered her the most.

Hermione knew she was being ridiculous, but how could she not? Relationships were difficult, or at least she presumed so. Her relations with Ron had never been that simple, but things were different then. They were both younger and stupider, living in times that forced her to worry about many things other than love and relationships. Sure, there were... Episodes of restlessness, but they were not enough to make her feel a bit more confident and calm.

What did she want to tell him anyway? Establishing some grand rules felt stupid even for someone so proper as herself. After all, it wasn't a competition or sports discipline – they simply wanted to be together. But still, their situation definitely called for a talk. A talk, that, as Hermione feared, would completely spoil the magic of being in love.

"Stop worrying. I can almost see the steam coming out of your ears", a whisper sounded right next to her ear, as she jumped up in fright.

"I can't believe you snuck up on me. Again", she muttered, as Sirius' face showed up floating in the air, after he took off the Invisibility Cloak.

"You should probably learn to watch your environment more closely. I wasn't exactly sneaking", he said with a smile and then urged her to go underneath the Cloak.

Hermione complied with a quiet sigh and soon found herself so close to Sirius, that a blush appeared on her face almost immediately after that realisation dawned on her. She tried to calm her nerves and took a deep breath, before asking:

"Where are we off to?"

"Room of Requirement will probably be best", he answered and pressed his palm into the small of her back, urging her to go forward.

Once again, she didn't protest, as they started to walk towards the seventh floor. Silence fell between them, making Hermione even more wary of his hand touching her body and of his scent lingering in the air. She knew it wasn't intentional on his part to distract her like that, but nonetheless, she found that her mind went completely blank, not being able to think clearly.

Sirius on the other hand seemed completely relaxed. Hermione had no way of telling if it was only an act, or if he actually felt that way, but it somehow managed to comfort her. He was calm and confident, making her believe that all those problems concerning their conversation were existing only inside her head, as she had managed to overanalyse the situation once again. Sometimes, her brain was truly a curse rather than blessing. It made her too prone to worrying more than necessary...

Finally, they've stopped in front of the bare wall, opposite the tapestry depicting the attempt of Barnabas the Barmy to teach trolls ballet. Sirius smiled at her gently and stepped outside the cloak, walking past the wall three times. Hermione's heart skipped a beat when the solid stone started to turn into wooden frame of quite commonly looking doors. The boy pressed the handle and then gestured her to go inside.

"After you", he stated cheerfully and Hermione walked into the room without hesitation.

She found herself in a space that looked exactly like Gryffindor Common Room. The familiar sofas and armchairs stood in front of the fireplace, making her heart ache, as the longing filled her body. She hadn't been here for such a long time... This was the only place in the castle that still hadn't felt quite right for her, as it held too much memories that brought her pain. Pain and yearning, towards the things she could never have again.

"Where are we?", she asked, trying to keep her voice as normal as possible, even if all she wanted to do was to drop to her knees and simply cry, remembering everything that has ever happened to her in that place.

"Gryffindor Common Room. I thought that maybe you'd like it", he explained and she looked at him with a small smile.

"I do", she admitted quietly. "It's cosier than Ravenclaw's"

"I know, I've been there a couple of times"

"Yes, I've figured", she said, before she could have stopped herself.

"You have?", Sirius asked with curiosity in his voice, which made her curse inside her head.

What was she thinking? Today was hardly the best day to talk to him about Remus and their animal forms. But now there was no chance that Sirius will drop the subject, he was way too interested.

"Yes. There's hardly a place in this castle that haven't seen your face", she responded evasively, hoping that he would just stop with the questions, but his laugh made it obvious that it was impossible.

"So you really did figure it out, huh?", he asked, taking a few steps towards her, with a smile on his face.

"What exactly?"

"The black dog?"

Hermione sighed and faced him, quirking her eyebrow.

"It wasn't exactly difficult, Sirius. The dog had your eyes and I've spent enough time staring into them to recognize you everywhere", she admitted softly, making said eyes of his twinkle with tenderness. "Besides, your nickname pretty much gives it away"

"So you know about everything?", Sirius asked with surprise and she sighed once again.

"Of course I know. It's not exactly rocket science"

"What?"

Hermione looked at Sirius and shook her head, seeing his dumbfounded expression. Even taking Muggle studies couldn't teach him everything.

"Never mind. The point is, I've figured it out a long time ago. I just didn't want to confront Remus about it until he felt comfortable around me to raise this subject on his own", she explained and shrugged.

To her surprise, Sirius came closer and wrapped his arms around her, closing her in a tight embrace. She felt his lips pressing down on her hair, as one of his hands entangled itself in her curls.

"You have no idea how happy we are to have you as our friend", he murmured, making her heart clench.

Being in the Gryffindor Common Room brought out so many painful memories, that it hurt almost physically. The fact that she was standing here, being embraced but no one else as her best friend's Godfather, felt completely surreal and weirdly out of place. This room was the exact place where she had realised she had been in love with Ron. She had spent hours watching him with Lavender, wishing it had been her. And now? Now she was about to bury Ron completely in her past, accepting the fact that her love for him will never have the chance to truly flourish, even if she realised that the chances of that happening were long gone.

She did everything in her power to keep him in her memories, though, but she knew that nothing good could come out of desperately clinging to that feeling she held for him. He saved her life and that was something unforgettable, but the only things she could have done to repay him, was to live and fix everything, so that he wouldn't have to make that sacrifice. Her love for him had to motivate her actions, but couldn't stop her from trying to make her life more hers.

Hermione stepped away from Sirius and shot him a sad smile.

"I'm happy too. Sure, I wish some things were different, but I couldn't be more glad that I've met you. You made me want to live again and to fight for myself and everyone else. I actually believe that it might work this time", she said and Sirius furrowed his brows.

"This time?"

Blood drained out of her face when she realised her mistake. She looked down, biting her lip painfully. It would be so much easier to just tell him everything, to just... Let it all out. But today was not the day she could do that. She had to be patient and careful.

"Yes. This time. I can't tell you what it means, which, I believe, is one of the reasons we needed to talk in the first place", she stated and he sighed tiredly. "What about that speech of yours?"

"I was bluffing. There is no speech", he smiled sweetly, making her roll her eyes. "But I can tell you that whatever it is you need me to do – I'll do it. You've finally agreed to giving me a chance, I have no intentions of messing it up"

Hermione couldn't help but relax at his words. His expression seemed completely sincere, without any traces of amusement. Sirius clearly meant what he said and that made her nervousness go away completely.

"Good. So here's something you need to know", she took a deep breath and met his gaze. "There are times when I need to be somewhere... Or do something"

"You mean like going to Dumbledore's office and then disappearing out of the castle for a couple of hours?", Sirius asked with an innocent smile, while Hermione gaped at him.

Did he honestly tracked her every step on that freaking map of theirs?!

"How the hell do you know that?!"

"You're not the only one with the secrets", he informed her with a cheeky grin and then sighed, seeing her furious expression. "Look, it's not like I was doing anything about it, yeah? I didn't try to search for you, I didn't follow you... I was being really courteous"

"If you weren't following me, how on Earth did you know?", she asked again, deciding that dropping out of the fight would only seem suspicious.

After all, she really was an insufferable Know-It-All. Everyone knew that.

"I'll show you, just not today, okay?"

Hermione glared at him, but kept quiet. Finally, she nodded and said:

"Fine. Just promise me that you won't start worrying and throwing tantrums because of it"

"I can't start worrying, because that has happened a long time ago. But, I trust you and I honestly don't think I could protect you better than you protect yourself. No matter how much it pains me to admit that. I will also deny ever saying that if you tell James or anyone else", he threatened, but a smile was playing at his lips.

"I do have some skills", Hermione nodded and grinned. "Maybe I'll teach you one day"

Sirius quirked his eyebrows and looked at her with a suggestive smile.

"I believe I've told you something about you teaching me"

How was it possible that Sirius Black managed to turn even the most serious conversation into a flirt? She had no answer to that question, but her fluttering heart seemed to like it.

"You'll have to learn how to manage, Sirius. The perks of being my boyfriend – I'm not going to let you ditch all the schoolwork. I'm making you study!", she exclaimed firmly and he rolled his eyes in response.

"That's not a perk, love. That is a huge downside", the boy sighed, but smiled only a second later. "Although being called your boyfriend definitely makes up for that"

Before she could say something, he kissed her, but this time it wasn't a brief peck on the lips, which he had given her back in the Great Hall. No... This one managed to numb her mind in a blink of an eye. Her eyelids shut down, as her hands found themselves at the nape of his neck, pulling him even closer. Merlin, it felt so good...

Her love for Ron was undeniably beautiful, but she had no doubts that it was just as first love was supposed to be – shy, immature, childish even. They didn't know what they wanted, they didn't know how it was supposed to work. Yes, it was beautiful... But at the same time, it never felt as perfect as this.

Hermione had no idea how it happened, but she found herself pressed against the wall, with Sirius' hands caressing her hips and waist with agonizingly slow movements. Her heart was pounding against her chest, as one of his thumbs slid underneath her shirt, drawing small circles on her bare skin.

"Sirius...", she breathed out, parting their lips, but he didn't seem to notice.

He began trailing kisses down her neck, causing her to inhale sharply, as a shiver run through her entire body. His hot breath against her skin felt like fire, consuming all of her strength to resist him. All she wanted to do was to give in completely, forget about everything and everyone and let him capture all her senses.

"Sirius...", this time her voice sounded more like a moan and evoked a small laugh from him.

"Yes, love?"

Oh, Merlin... How could she gather her thoughts when he sounded like that? His voice was smooth and velvety on daily basis, but now? Now it sounded like a promise. Promise of something exciting and sinful – something she found she truly wanted, even if it wasn't right to do so.

"We... We can't", she said, forcing herself to push away those thoughts.

Temptation to stop being proper was almost unbearable, but she knew better than to just give in. It wasn't like her to listen to her stupid hormones, forgetting about a sense of decency and, above all, about using her brain.

She put her hands on his chest and pushed him away. To her surprise, Sirius was smiling at her, as his eyes were glinting with amusement.

"Always the proper one", he whispered, kissed her forehead and stepped away.

Hermione took a deep breath, as a wave of cold hit her body, making her miss Sirius' heat instantly. She tried to steady herself on her legs, which turned out to be much more difficult than she had initially thought it would be.

"Sorry. It's just..."

"Don't be. It's hard to keep my hands away from you, but I would never pressure you into something you weren't ready for", he shrugged, making Hermione sigh.

"It's not that I'm not ready. I just don't want to be reckless... There are more important things right now and if things between us are going to work just fine, I think we'll have plenty of time for... Well, for that", she blushed, averting her gaze. "It might sound stupid, but first, I want to make sure that we really stand a chance"

Sirius chuckled and shook his head with amusement.

"You're such a pessimist, Hermione. You'd rather just assume that something might turn out wrong, than actually believe that nothing bad is going to happen", he said and sent a lopsided grin towards her. "But I guess, I understand it. I mean, you girls care about that crap"

"What crap?", Hermione asked instantly and Sirius shrugged once again.

"About that 'first time' thing"

The girl blinked a couple of times and then blushed furiously, realising that Sirius couldn't have been aware of her relationship with Ron. He didn't even know about his existence, after all. It wasn't weird that he had just assumed that she had never been with anyone.

"Oh...", she said stupidly and averted her gaze. "Well, my first time was probably the least romantic thing ever. It was also incredibly reckless..."

Sirius' expression could have been described only as shocked. He stared at her with wide eyes and his mouth slightly opened, making Hermione want to laugh. The urge to do so passed quite quickly, as she realised that this conversation would probably be even more nerve-racking than waiting for him outside the Common Room had been.

"Wait... Are you saying... That you... You know...", he stammered, clearly confused and she bit her lip, nodding lightly. "How the hell did that happen? I didn't even know you had a boyfriend before!"

Hermione sighed and looked down at her feet. She had two choices – she could either tell him the truth and leave him with several unanswered questions, or she could lie. Neither of those options seemed good at that moment, but she was forced to choose.

"I had. But it's not exactly a happy story, Sirius", she said with a smile full of sorrow. "He's dead"

Sirius needed only a second to process that information, as he grabbed his head, looking at her with guilt painted all over his face.

"Fuck... Hermione, I'm..."

"You didn't know. It's not like I talk about my past a lot", she murmured and closed her eyes, gathering her strength to continue talking. "I loved him. For a very long time, actually. It took us years to realise that we wanted to be more than friends. But when we've finally figured it out, it was already too late. Our relationship wasn't easy, I'm not even sure it can be called a relationship. We were both worried that we might die and that each day may be our last. Like I said, we were reckless and it wasn't perfect. But I never regretted it. I loved him", she repeated and let one tear slide down her cheek.

Talking about Ron made her feel guilty. Guilty about moving on, but at the same time, guilty that she hadn't even bothered to tell Sirius about him, because it was simply too much to take. Despite her grief being long gone, she never stopped thinking about what things may have looked like, if the Order succeeded. And that made her feel even worse... "I'm sorry for not telling you. I..."

"Do you still love him?", Sirius interrupted her, before she could explain herself further.

Hermione smiled bitterly, after the realisation hit her.

"I'll always love him. He was my first and I've spent a lot of time hoping that he could also be the last one. I wanted to spend my life with him", she whispered with pain. "But he's gone. That won't change, no matter how much I want it to. I had to move on at some point and you've made it so easy for me... I wasn't lying when I said that I believe that we're not a mistake. I want us to work. But if you're asking me if I love my dead boyfriend, the answer's yes. Not in the way I love you, but he'll always be in my heart and I simply can't help it"

Hermione forced herself to meet his gaze and felt relief washing over her body, when Sirius' gaze held no anger. His eyes were full of compassion and feelings that made a wave of pleasant warmth spread throughout her entire body.

"I can't imagine what it must feel like. But even if I can't fully understand it, I trust you. You've made it pretty clear that you don't like the idea of lying to me and I believed you. I see no reason to stop doing it now", he stated with a small smile and then grabbed her hand, pulling her close to his chest.

Hermione let out a shaky breath and then broke down completely, after he kissed the top of her head, murmuring that he loved her. Sirius Black was truly amazing. Despite all of his flaws, she desperately wanted their relationship to work. Because if there was someone who could mend that gushing wound in her heart that appeared after losing her love, it was him. And it seemed like he had already started doing so.