The day was quite beautiful, if someone liked snow and ever-present cold. The sun shone bright, giving off the illusion of a more enticing aura, than winter usually possessed. Hermione guessed that even such a bookworm as herself could have enjoyed a stroll along the Black Lake in a weather like this, especially if Sirius walked right beside her. Unfortunately, said male specimen forced the both of them to change their plans for this Friday evening by earning them a detention.
Hermione sighed heavily, closed the book and put it on the table, hoisting herself up to her feet. The Common Room was surprisingly full, considering the lovely aura outside. The classes had ended quite a while ago and since today happened to be the last school day this week, she didn't expect the students to stay inside. Apparently, Ravenclaws liked spending time with their friends in their Common Room, more than they enjoyed getting all wet in yet another snowball fight.
The clock hanging on the wall pointed that she still had couple of hours before she needed to set off for McGonagall's office. Usually, she would have used that time to study or finish her essays for next week's classes, but today she didn't feel like it. Actually, all Hermione wanted to do was to lie on her bed with a great book in her hand, forgetting about the entire world. Sirius was kind of mad at her for changing his hair colour to such an outrageous one, but well... He deserved that for getting her a detention. She had to admit, making him walk around looking like that for the entire two days qualified as cruel and unnecessary, but his reputation wasn't nearly as damaged as her own, was it?
All in all, he refused to talk to her and that left her feeling really down. It only took a month for her to realise that functioning without Sirius on daily basis was much harder than she could have thought. It reminded her of the time when Ron had separated from them, back when they were searching for the Horcruxes. She had felt terrible during that period, but she'd known better than to let those feelings stop her from doing their job. Right now, things were much harder, even if that seemed weird and quite impossible.
Hermione wasn't happy about her current situation with Sirius, but she couldn't deny the fact that it gave her an excellent opportunity to sort out at least some of her problems at hand. With that conviction, she walked out of the Common Room and threaded towards Headmaster's office.
She stopped seeing sense in asking herself the same questions over and over. No matter how hard she tried to figure something out on her own, she knew that no decision could have been made alone, especially not the one concerning such important things as revealing the truth about her past to a group of people. Another thing was the Fidelius Charm; she needed to know more about it and Dumbledore was the only person who could have had all the answers or at least, the means to get them for her.
The corridors were empty, allowing Hermione to get lost in her own thoughts and predictions about the way her conversation with the Headmaster could turn out. She didn't even notice Sirius leaning against one of the stone walls, with his hands stuck in the pockets and guilt painted all over his face. Guilt that soon turned into irritation when she passed him without as much as sparing him a glance.
"Oi! That's not very nice, you know?!", his voice forced Hermione to stop immediately, as she spun around and looked his way with surprise on her face.
"Sirius? Since when are you talking to me?", she asked completely baffled and watched as he came closer.
The frown visible on his forehead showed his irritation very clearly and Hermione realised that she must have ignored him, seemingly on purpose. She wanted to smirk with irony at this entire situation. Apparently, Sirius didn't like being ignored and yet, he had no problem doing that to her the last couple of days.
"Since when are you walking past me like I didn't exist?"
Hermione sighed and looked at him apologetically.
"I didn't see you, Sirius. I got lost in my own thoughts. It happens, especially to me. You should know that by now", she explained, watching his expression soften. "Why are you even here?"
"I was waiting for you"
Oh, so he still tracked her steps on the map, then? She truly wished they could just talk about that invention of theirs, so she could properly scold him for following her. Not that she minded his attention, but she knew that it didn't take much for Sirius to get a bad idea. What if she disappeared from the map and he got all flustered over it? Last thing she needed was yet another fight with him.
"I won't even ask how did you know I was going to be here", she muttered and narrowed her eyes, giving him a scrutinising look. "I will, however, ask you to stop following me"
Sirius gave her a small smile, that clearly meant to say that no such thing was going to happen, no matter if they were fighting or not.
"I'm sorry, love", his soft voice made her irritation dissipate in a mere second, as her heart skipped a beat. "Not for following you, obviously, but for..."
"...acting like a huge, childish dunderhead?", she finished the sentence for him and raised her eyebrows in amusement.
Sirius glared at her for a second, but then rolled his eyes and sighed, clearly admitting defeat.
"Yes, exactly for that. I guess I'm just not used to someone pranking me the way I prank everyone. It kind of sucks"
She giggled at his statement, realising it really must have been hard for Sirius to acknowledge the fact that their pranks were funny mostly to them and the people unaffected. It took him long enough, she decided and smiled brightly.
"For all it's worth, even pink hair couldn't have made you look terrible"
A grin appeared on his face, as he pulled her close to his body and kissed her forehead affectionately. Hermione couldn't help but smile contently, feeling his warmth surrounding her like a blanket. Her previous wishes about spending the evening in her bed with a book suddenly seemed much less enticing, as being embraced by Sirius felt so much better. She still could have used a good book in her hand, though.
"You made my pride suffer, kitten", he muttered and rubbed her back with affection. "I thought that punishing you was good idea, but then I decided that you're probably doing much better than me, anyway"
She wanted to laugh at his miserable voice, but decided to stay quiet. She could have told him that he was only partially right; after all, her misery was quite noticeable. But then, he should have known better than to act like a childish prat around her.
"Smart choice", she whispered against his chest and earned herself another kiss.
A second later, he let go off her and she found herself missing his warmth immediately. No protest had left her mouth, though, as she simply smiled at him.
"Where were you going?", he asked with curiosity lacing his voice, making Hermione avert her gaze.
"Dumbledore's office", her quiet response was enough to make his eyes widen in realisation, as he nodded his head.
"I shouldn't be stopping you, then"
His strained voice proved that it really was hard for him to simply let her go, without asking thousands of questions. Usually, she hated being wrong, but this time, she couldn't be happier that Lily was right in her assessment of Sirius' maturity. Well, maybe not hundred percent right, but still... In that case Hermione didn't need a hundred.
"It's not like we won't see each other for a very long time", she said with a smirk, making Sirius laugh.
"Ah, yes! Your first detention", he said tenderly with pride coating his tone. "Now, I can stop being ashamed of being your boyfriend"
She hit his arm playfully, knowing that his words were only a joke. His actions towards her proved his true feelings more than any words could have had and she knew better than to throw tantrums for no reason.
"Hate to break it you, sweetie, but it's your fault that I'm your girlfriend in the first place", she informed him with an amused smile and made him laugh out loud.
"Yeah, I'm not very smart"
This time, she hit him harder and earned herself a scowl, as he rubbed his arm gently.
"You have to stop hitting me all the time, woman. I don't want it to become a habit. My bones aren't going to stay so strong forever, you know? Fifty years from now you might seriously hurt me if you do that"
Hermione's eyes widened as she realised the true meaning behind his words. Sirius Black just admitted that he had pictured his future with her in it. That knowledge made her heart flutter like crazy, although her mind couldn't help but worry. Would she even be alive in fifty years? What made him think that they would still be together? Hell, she didn't even know if she stood a chance of living through this entire year...
Sirius noticed her sudden change of mood and scratched his head in abashment. Hermione didn't think he fully realised the importance of his words, until it was too late. He seemed equally baffled by his statement and somehow, it helped her to gain her composure back.
"Then stop making me want to hit you", she said as if nothing happened and stood on her toes to kiss his cheek. "I'll see you later, yeah?"
Sirius nodded and smiled gently, but before she could have walked away, he grabbed her arm and asked:
"Is everything alright between us? I mean..."
Hermione knew he meant more than just their 'fight'. His words, spoken without a second thought, could have brought uneasiness into their relationship, but she didn't want that to happen. Her doubts were connected to the many uncertainties in her life, not to her feelings towards him. Those, she was sure of.
She stopped feeling guilty for falling for Harry's godfather a long time ago. Sure, if someone told her that this was how the things would work out, she'd probably laugh and brush it off as nonsense. And yet, here she was, fully aware of the weirdness around their relationship and not caring for any of it at all. She highly doubted that Harry would ever hold it against her. He would have wanted her to be happy and even if he had always pictured her with Ron, things rarely turned out the way everyone thought they should. He would have never wanted her to be miserable and neither would Ron, now that she thought of it. He could have been a prat, but he was her friend more than he was her boyfriend. They never got the chance to make things different, after all.
"Of course it is. Why wouldn't it?", she asked gently, not wanting Sirius to get the wrong idea about her thoughtful expression.
"No reason", he grinned at her, relief clear on his face.
She smiled once again and this time, walked away without interruptions. It took only a couple of steps for her smile to falter, though. All the things that happened to her made her forget, that her life would continue even after the war had finally ended, granted she would manage to live through it. She used to have so many dreams and plans for the future. Now, making plans seemed pointless and weirdly inappropriate and she didn't like that feeling at all.
Thinking about the future she might have with Sirius was dangerous. Dangerous and enticing at the same time. There was nothing she wanted more, than to just dream about all those things ahead of them, without worrying about a psychopath trying to take everything away. But she couldn't. Not only had she much more important things on her mind, but also knew that dreaming about such elusive things could have brought her more pain than merit. And pain happened to be something that she tried to avoid, at all costs.
The fact that Sirius said those words only proved, that he was still carefree and reckless, just as someone his age should be. That thought made Hermione irritated and jealous, but also full of determination. Life had treated her quite unfairly, but there were still people who might benefit from her misery. Sirius was one of them, even if the fight in his case was unavoidable. He could still be spared from seeing so much evil and losing so many people he loved. And it was her job to make sure that happened. Maybe then she would be able to look into the future and smile genuinely.
Hermione reached Dumbledore's office and pushed her thoughts aside. Surely, the reason for visiting the Headmaster was connected to Sirius and to everyone else, but she needed her mind to be clear, if she wanted to pick up on every single detail of their conversation.
"Miss Granger!", the man greeted her with surprise visible on his face and Hermione smiled timidly. "To what do I owe this pleasure?"
"I'm sorry to bother you, Headmaster. I have been thinking about certain issues and I believe it would be best if you could help me with them", she explained and Dumbledore smiled friendly.
"Ah, of course, of course. Please, have a sit"
The man gestured towards the chair and Hermione took a few steps forward, following his invitation. As soon as she sat down, a shaky breath escaped her lips, betraying the nervousness that had awakened in her body.
"I've spoken to Ewan", she started the conversation from relatively neutral topic.
The Headmaster shifted in his chair and tilted his head, inquiring her to continue her speech.
"He's fully aware of your plans regarding his parents, but he's willing to join the Order anyways. Those were his intentions all along, even if he had wanted to finish school first", she stated and watched as a satisfied smile appeared on Dumbledore's face. "His decision is rather final, but I've told him to contact his parents before making things official. They deserve to know about everything"
"I hope they won't manage to change his mind"
Hermione fought off the urge to roll her eyes, seeing Dumbledore's doubts. It didn't come as a surprise that he wasn't particularly happy about this change of plans she forced upon him, but stupidity had never been her domain. She knew exactly what she was doing and the Headmaster had to simply trust her on that.
"I highly doubt it, professor. I know Ewan well enough"
"Well, I have no other choice than to take your word on that. I'll start worrying if I don't receive a Howler from Mr Hughes' parents in the next couple of days", the Headmaster said with an amused smile and Hermione reciprocated his gesture immediately.
There was no doubt that Ewan's parents won't be happy with their son's endeavours to save the world, while still at Hogwarts.
"Now... What really brings you here?"
Hermione's smiled faltered, as she realised that she couldn't stall this conversation any longer. She had to be out with it, before her bravery went away.
"Professor, I've been thinking lately... As you're probably well aware of, soon most of my friends in Hogwarts will be of age. I know that the Order has the policy of not recruiting students, but I don't think I can keep them in the dark about my past until they've finished school. It's not fair, not mentioning the fact that it is also incredibly hard", she said quietly and met Dumbledore's intent gaze.
To her surprise, the man didn't seem surprised or even concerned. His expression was as calm as ever, making Hermione even more anxious. The lack of surprise on his face could have meant that he had already thought everything through and had made a decision regarding this subject quite some time ago.
"I want to tell them everything", she blurted out and took a deep breath. "Well, I want to tell them about where I come from, without betraying any important facts, I mean"
Dumbledore nodded and joined his fingers in front of his face, staring at her cautiously without the intention of interrupting her speech.
"I know that no matter how hard I want to trust them fully, we're talking about a very serious situation and I can't tell them anything without any security measures. I've been thinking about making them take The Unbreakable Vow, but that's incredibly risky. I don't want them to die, if something goes wrong and they are forced to reveal my secret. Besides, it's not the best option when it comes to protecting certain knowledge"
"Brilliant observation, Miss Granger. What do you propose then?"
"I've been thinking about The Fidelius Charm", she breathed out and frowned slightly. "It would be perfect, if only I'd find someone suitable for being the Secret's Keeper. The only thing that bothers me, is that I don't know much about how this spell works. Mr Flamel mentioned that it's the same ancient magic that had enclosed the part of my soul in the Time-Turner, but it's still as mysterious as it was before"
Dumbledore nodded once again and sighed quietly.
"The Fidelius would be perfect, indeed. Nicholas must have told you, that its effects are based on the strength of the bonds between everyone encompassed by its boundaries, which makes it a perfect choice for a group of close friends. I admit, it does have some risks, though"
Hermione looked at him intently, as worry flooded her body once again. Clearly, she had been right to assume that this Charm would be much more complicated and complex than her initial knowledge about the spell would indicate.
"What risks?", she asked, although the answer seemed to be quite obvious.
"The biggest comes with the Secret Keeper, clearly. Whoever you choose to become yours, he or she will have to stay faithful to you forever. I don't mean in a sense, that you'll have to stay close for the entirety of your lives, although it certainly wouldn't hurt. But the most important thing is for that person to become fully invested in protecting your secret. You see, there had been many cases of people who hated each other and yet, they had shared a bond strong enough to perform a successful Fidelius Charm", he explained with a smile, looking at her from above his half-glasses.
Hermione furrowed her brows and started to think about his words. Was it really possible? After all, hatred often led to betrayal, rather than anything else.
"There are things, Miss Granger, that can connect even the worst enemies. This charm doesn't require positive feelings. It requires a common goal, especially between The Secret Keeper and the Secret Owner. Strong convictions that something is right, can often be more powerful than feelings, which fade over time", he smiled, but Hermione wasn't convinced.
"And convictions don't? People change, don't they?"
"Yes. But it is much harder to make someone forgo their morality, than switch love interests"
Well, he certainly made a point. Her own feelings changed so much during those past few months, but her beliefs that she needed to prevent certain things from happening didn't waver even in the slightest.
"So, in other words, the Fidelius Charm is going to work as long as the conviction is there?"
"Yes, Miss Granger. I believe that is a correct assumption"
Hermione's brows furrowed as she thought what that meant for her and her friends. None of them were bad people, she didn't need further proofs of that. Still, choosing the Secret Keeper couldn't have been easy. If someone learned about the Fidelius, their attention would undoubtedly switch to Sirius, since he was the closest one to her. Unfortunately, her boyfriend was also the youngest and making him the Secret Keeper before his birthday was... Well, not very fair, since only a couple weeks ago she claimed that his age of majority was a big issue for her. The fact that she hadn't exactly thought of the best ways to protect all of her secrets, didn't exactly justify the sudden change of heart.
"This is so complicated...", she muttered and rubbed her forehead, forgetting that professor Dumbledore sat across the desk, watching her intently.
His chuckle brought her back to reality and caused her to blush slightly.
"Yes, magic tends to be that way", the man agreed with a smile on his face and shifted in his chair. "It's a very delicate matter, Miss Granger. It needs to be handled with the uttermost care and attention. I can help you with that, but I need to know your thoughts to do so"
Hermione sighed, deciding that he was right, once again. Wasn't that the sole purpose of her visit? To tell him about her doubts?
"I've told Sirius on multiple occasions, that I find his age to be quite problematic. I wanted him to be legally an adult, when I told him about everything. It didn't seem right to blurt out the truth and leave him with that huge weight on his shoulders, when he hadn't even been of age. Besides, I was thinking about the Unbreakable Vow back then, not about the Fidelius..."
"I'm sorry to interrupt, but can I ask why?", Dumbledore said, tilting his head slightly.
Despite the fact that his question couldn't be described as precise, she knew very well what the man had meant.
"I was scared of using the Fidelius, Professor. People often tend to be scared of things they don't understand, but it's more than that in my case", she said carefully and averted her gaze.
Talking to Dumbledore about what had happened to Potters wasn't a good idea. Maybe he had already known or at least suspected some of the facts, but she couldn't just outright tell him everything.
"I see. You must have realised that despite its many uncertainties, it's still the most reliable source of protection we can grant you"
"Yes. I've tried to find another way, but it seems that there isn't one", she sighed dejectedly and looked at her entwined fingers, resting in her lap.
"There isn't. I must say, though, I am surprised by your reluctance to let your friends in on your secret. Truth to be told, I expected to have that conversation with you much, much sooner. Despite your determination to keep things to yourself, it is virtually impossible for someone so fair as you to lie all the time", Dumbledore said and chuckled lightly, seeing her flabbergasted expression.
"Well, I can't say I enjoy it", she stated hollowly and the Headmaster shot her an understanding smile.
"Which is why I find it very peculiar that you've kept doing it for so long. Especially considering your relationship with Mr Black", he looked at her from above his half-glasses, making her sigh once again.
"I want to tell him. But like I've said, he's not..."
"...of age?", Dumbledore interrupted her, but it didn't sound rude. "Forgive me for asking, but how old were you when you realised that our world's safety depended on you and your friends?"
Hermione blushed slightly, realising that she had been doing dangerous things from the moment she had decided to become friends with Harry and Ron. She was only fourteen when she realised that the world would change and that there would be a war. It happened as soon as Cedric Diggory's dead body appeared on the ground.
"Too young", she answered softly and met Dumbledore's gentle gaze.
"I don't think that this couple of months will change anything regarding Mr Black's maturity. His demeanour had always been very childish and much too careless for his own good, but I consider myself to be an excellent judge of characters and I believe that he will be an excellent asset to the Order, when he had finished the school. Maybe even earlier, if the circumstances force me to stray away from our rules yet again. Telling him now won't be any different from telling him in June"
She bit her bottom lip, as her heart raced against her chest. Professor Dumbledore was right and Hermione couldn't stop the feeling of guilt and shame spreading throughout her body. She was usually smarter than that. All of her choices were conscious and deliberate. Up to this point, Hermione had been certain that waiting for Sirius to come of age had been the right thing to do, but now... Now it seemed only as an excuse, masking true reason behind her stalling.
Fear. There was no denying the existence of this overwhelming feeling that took over her body every time she thought of being rejected by Sirius. She wanted him to know, she wanted him to care for her with everything she had to offer, including her past. But the possibility of scaring him away couldn't be ignored and that scared her to no end. Had it been the true reason behind her actions? Did she somehow manage to convince even herself that she had been protecting him by keeping him in the dark so long?
"He doesn't deserve to be lied to", she muttered quietly and Dumbledore nodded in agreement.
"The longer you wait, the harder it will get, that I can promise you. I cannot force you to make a decision, though. You have to be sure of it"
"I am. I'm just scared", she admitted and smiled bitterly.
"As you should be. Your knowledge is dangerous, Miss Granger. We're both fully aware of that fact. Soon, your friends will be too. It is only natural to fear their reactions, as none of them suspect you of being a Time-Traveller. You should give them credit, though. The Fidelius Charm will keep you safe, I'll make sure of it"
"How? It's not like you can force someone to keep their beliefs forever", she pointed out grimly and Dumbledore chuckled lightly, making her frown with suspicion.
"Oh, I believe there's a way to do so", he informed her with a cheerful smile, as her hear skipped a beat.
She knew that tone all too well.
"How come?"
"I will become your Secret Keeper, Miss Granger. I believe that's the least I could"
If she didn't know any better, she would definitely think it was all a dream. Apparently, her life just took another huge turn, but this time, she couldn't be happier to simply embrace it.