I think I'm going to make a habit out of those A/N. Mainly because I want you all to know how much I appreciate your reviews and follows and favourites and EVEYRTHING 3 I am so, so excited each time I get a notification, even if it wakes me up at night :D

Also, I really hope you're going to enjoy that second part of this chapter, as I really struggled while writing it. I kept writing and then erasing everything I've written. Let me tell ya, Sirius is much more complicated than I thought he would be! :D Please, let me know what you think, what could be better! I'm dying to hear from you!

And now, enjoy!

„What do you know about the Fidelius Charm?", Hermione asked quietly, watching Sirius' face intensely.

The boy frowned in response, clearly trying to recall ever hearing that phrase, but eventually his expression turned into an irritated one, when his memory came up empty.

"Never heard of it", he muttered and scratched his head.

She almost smiled at his annoyance, but knew it wasn't the right time to make fun of him. Instead, she nodded and said:

"I'm not surprised. Like I said, it's an ancient spell and definitely not something anyone your age should know of"

"My age?", he asked with irony and she nodded once again, ignoring the tone of his voice.

"Yes. The Fidelius Charm is something that allows to conceal one's secret, that resides deep within the individual's soul", she said, trying to simplify the theory behind it as much as possible.

There was no point in drowning him in an ocean of unnecessary facts and suspicions concerning the spell itself. She needed him to understand everything, without making him feel completely baffled from the beginning.

"Why hadn't I heard of it?", he asked with a frown, that made the corners of her mouth twitch slightly.

"It's a powerful spell. Dangerous almost, if it is used for evil. Basically, it allows to conceal said secret, by hiding it inside one, chosen person –a Secret Keeper. That person, apart from the Secret Owner, is the only person able to share those hidden information, but only if she or he chooses to do so. Otherwise, no one can get to it, as it becomes unfindable, intangible even"

Sirius looked at her with great focus and then nodded slowly.

"So, what you're saying is that your secrets are safe, as long as your Secret Keeper has no intention of betraying your trust, yeah?"

Hermione nodded and smiled at him gently.

"Can you have only one Secret Keeper?"

"Not necessarily, although it's definitely the safest way. You see, the Secret Keeper can share those information with other people, but they are unable to repeat it to anyone. It cannot be accessed through their minds or any other way. The only person able to share it further, apart from the Secret Owner, is the Secret Keeper", Hermione said and watched as Sirius' eyes started to glint excitedly.

"Then make me your Secret Keeper! I will never betray you!"

She almost rolled her eyes at his statement. It really didn't surprise her to hear something like that coming out of his mouth, she almost expected it.

"No, Sirius. I already have a Secret Keeper. The spell had already been casted"

Padfoot looked at her with surprise, which quickly turned into hurt. He seemed genuinely bothered by her lack of trust, as it must have looked from his perspective.

"And who do you think will protect you better than I would?", he asked with fury, forcing a sigh out of her mouth.

"Dumbledore", she answered immediately and met his, once again, surprised gaze. "Dumbledore will protect me better. It may pain you, but there is no one better suited for this job"

"Why?", his angry tone made her rub her forehead with exasperation.

"Because he's a powerful wizard, Sirius. Powerful and loyal to the greater good, even if that makes him do bad things sometimes", she explained quietly. "He will never betray my secret, no matter what. He'd rather die than do something like this"

"But so would I!"

"Stop it!", Hermione scolded him and shook her head angrily. "This isn't about me not trusting you, you git. It's about doing what's safest. Considering the fact that everyone knows how close we are, choosing you for the Secret Keeper would be obvious. No one would be able to pry this information out of your head, that's true. But it doesn't mean that you wouldn't budge after experiencing days of torture. I don't want that for you"

"They will still come after me. You've said it yourself, I'm the obvious choice", Sirius answered, clearly not wanting to drop the subject.

"But at least you won't be able to crack! I have no intentions of letting them capture you. I'm not almighty, though and I can't promise you anything. If something happens to you, I can't spend any time thinking about the safety of my secret", she said quietly and squeezed her eyes shut. "I know that it sounds terrible. But Voldemort cannot know. Not ever"

Sirius fell silent, looking at her with an intense gaze, that made her want to shift uncomfortably. She made sure not to let that show, as she met his stare with a sad smile gracing her face.

"Was it possible for you to make yourself your Secret Keeper?", he asked suddenly, but his voice lacked his previous anger.

"Yes"

"Then why didn't you do it? Wouldn't it be the safest choice?"

His question was undoubtedly valid, but it made Hermione let out a shaky breath full of relief. Sirius decided to be mature, for once, and dropped his childish jealousy giving her hope for a relatively normal conversation.

"I thought about it. We thought about it", she corrected herself, when the Headmaster's face popped into her head.

"But you decided against it", he said slowly and she nodded.

"Yes. You see, when the Secret Keeper dies, everyone who had gotten to know the secret ultimately becomes new Keeper. Considering the amount of friends I have, that would leave a great number of people able to betray my secret. My chances of dying in the war are much higher than Dumbledore's. He's a powerful wizard, after all", Hermione scowled and sighed tiredly, ignoring Sirius' outrage visible on his face. "Don't argue. I may have some tricks up my sleeve, but I'm no match for him"

"Fine. But it doesn't mean that he's invincible"

"No, he's not. But I had to take a risk. If I die, my secret still stays safe and that's the most important thing"

"What happens if you get captured and someone tortures you, huh? What makes you so sure that you won't crack under the pressure? I mean, as the Secret Owner you're still clearly allowed to tell people. It's basically as though you have two Secret Keepers, isn't it?", Sirius asked with scepticism and she had to admit that once again, his question sounded incredibly justified.

"Technically, you're right. But like I said, if I die, my secret stays safe. Besides, no one would expect Dumbledore to become my Secret Keeper. If they come to a conclusion that you're not protecting my secret, they will switch their attention to me. They can torture me all they want, but I will never tell them anything. I know what it would mean to the entire wizarding world. And even if they kill me in the end, that won't bring them any closer to learning anything", she explained and stood up, wanting to come closer to him.

She put her hand on his shoulder and watched as he lifted his head with a dejected look in his eyes.

"There was no good way out of it, Sirius", she whispered and he nodded, albeit reluctantly. "I don't want any of you to get hurt over me. Which is why I'm giving you a choice. You can either walk away and be safe, or you can stay and live with this burden. It's not easy to wake up every day, wondering how much time you have left and I really don't want that for you. But I can't make that decision for you"

"It's not a choice, Hermione. Not for me", he answered and reached up to caress her face. "This war… I was born to take part in it. My parents made sure of that, even if they wanted to see me on the other side of the barricade. I simply cannot let them win", he smiled bitterly and looked down, letting his hand fall to his side once again. "I love you, Herms. I probably don't deserve you, but if making that choice is going to make me even a bit more worthy of you, I'm going to make it gladly"

His words made her eyes fill with tears and she had no fight in her to fight them. One salty drop strolled down her cheek and fell down to his forearm, making him look up with a surprised expression.

"Why are you crying, woman?", he asked and she couldn't help but chuckle through her tears at his panicked tone.

"Because I love you too. Because I am scared that you're going to leave when you know it all. But mostly because I'm proud of you"

Sirius sighed and stood up, pulling her into his arms and shielding her from the world. He kissed her hair, as his hands rubbed her back soothingly, making her feel safe and warm.

"Yeah, well… I'm kind of proud of myself too. I didn't expect to grow up anytime soon", he said and then snorted lightly. "Never, to be exact"

She laughed a bit at his statement and removed herself from his embrace, meeting his gaze. Sirius' grey eyes looked at her with tenderness, that made her feel certain that his feelings weren't going to disappear as soon as she told him the truth. No matter how stressed she was, no matter how tough it seemed, Hermione knew there was no going back.

"I made it kind of impossible, huh?", she asked in a strained voice, as he shrugged dismissively.

"Plans change, kitten. Mine was never good to being with. It didn't have you in it", he flashed her his best smile and she blushed, even if his line had been incredibly cheesy.

In a way, she knew he meant it and it made her heart flutter. That feeling lasted only a second, though, as his face became serious once again and his eyes bore into hers.

"Is there something else I need to know before you tell me?", he asked quietly and she shook her head, biting her lip with nervousness.

She stepped back and slowly sat down on the nearest chair, feeling a bit lightheaded. She had rehearsed that exact moment so many times and yet, no words felt right to her now. There was no good way to do it, Hermione presumed and decided that stalling would do nothing to change things for the better.

"Remember that day in the Hospital Wing? That day when you had seen me for the first time?", she asked weakly and he nodded, sitting down once again and staring at her intently. "Couple of days before that, I was on the verge of dying. There was this battle… Battle of Hogwarts", she whispered and looked up to face his confused expression.

"Um… I think I'd know about it", Sirius said completely dumbfounded and she smiled bitterly.

"You wouldn't. You wouldn't, because it happened in a completely different time. The Battle of Hogwarts took place in 1998"

Her words flew out of her mouth before she could change her mind. As soon as they sounded in the air, she felt her heart drop painfully, only to begin its race a second later, making her face flushed and hot. Sirius looked at her with an unreadable expression and she couldn't tell if he understood the true meaning of her words. She didn't even know if she was supposed to say something else, or maybe wait, giving him time to digest her previous statement.

"Explain", he finally said, after what seemed like an eternity of heavy silence.

"I was born on September 19th, 1979 and I came here from the future"

Sirius looked at her with pure shock in his eyes, but then he started to laugh, clutching his head.

"Is this a joke, Hermione? Because it kind of sucks"

She bit her lip so hard, that it almost bled. Yes, it kind of sucked, he was right about that one. Unfortunately, Hermione had been far from joking. Her serious expression must have given it away, as Padfoot stopped laughing and just stared at her with disbelief.

"You're not joking, are you?"

A shake of her head, made him inhale sharply, as he leaned back onto his chair.

"If you were born in 1979… That means you're not even born yet", he murmured and squeezed his eyes shut. "Fuck me… This cannot be happening"

He fell silent and she found herself wishing for anything else but this. Hermione preferred him to scream, throw tantrums, anything. Maybe then she would be able to tell what was hiding underneath his stone expression and those eyes covered by lids. But he stayed quiet and she had to do something, if she didn't want to go mad.

"I didn't want to come here. Actually, it happened without my knowledge, as I was sure I was dead. I woke in the Hospital Wing, twenty years earlier. I…", her voice broke as she recalled the Final Battle. "Voldemort had won and there had been nothing I could have done to change it. I found myself wishing to go back in time and fix things. Next thing I know, I'm here", she said and sighed with pain. "I disrupted the entire future by appearing out of nowhere in front of the Great Hall. I can't go back to where I came from, because that future is no longer there. Not that it would be possible, even if I wanted to"

"So this entire story about your parents, about France, about… everything. Those had been lies, hadn't they?", Sirius finally asked, his voice completely hollow.

"Not entirely. My parents are Muggles and they certainly weren't dead the last time I'd seen them", she said and scowled. "I had Obliviated them, so that they wouldn't remember they had a daughter. The Death Eaters wanted them dead, so I had to save them. They weren't dead, but I was. To them"

"What about everything else?"

"I had never lived in France. I know French merely because my parents used to take me there during summer. Everything else had been kind of true, though. My friends really are dead, or… well, technically they're not even born yet. I had been tortured by the Death Eaters and that's where I got my scars"

Her explanation felt insufficient, but she couldn't offer him more. Not until she knew he could be okay with knowing everything. Those things… Those things were too important to simply blurt them all out.

Sirius looked at her so intensely, that she suddenly felt the urge to hide. Not that his gaze was hostile or full of anger even. Hermione knew him well enough to be able to tell, that his mind was spinning at a rapid pace, making him aware of more and more things hidden between the lines of her words. A whole constellation of different emotions surged through his face, letting her in on that inner battle taking place in his mind. Anger, sadness, doubt, hurt… She could name all of them.

"How did it happen? How did you manage to travel back in time?", Sirius asked so quietly, as never before.

"A spell. Dumbledore charmed the Time-Turner to take me back, to change the future", she explained, not diving into details.

"Why? Isn't that dangerous? You've said it yourself, the entire future is now disrupted because of you"

"In theory, it was the stupidest thing he could have come up with", she smiled bitterly and sighed. "But the future… The future was bad, Sirius. I can't tell you any details, because you still need to make your own choices, not influenced by anything I know. Trust me, though, when I say that the world was about to become a truly terrible, dark and hollow place. This is precisely why Voldemort cannot know about any of this. I can't watch that same scenario again"

It was Sirius' time to sigh, as he rubbed his forehead tiredly. His usual, cheerful demeanour was nowhere to be seen and Hermione struggled not to cry. All of the emotions, bottled up in her heart up to this point, threatened to come out, breaking her completely and she couldn't let that happen as well.

"What about your friends? What about your entire life? What about…", he stopped abruptly and clenched his jaw. "None of them are born yet, aren't they? You don't even know if they will be born"

"That's true. I will make everything to ensure that those aspects of the future won't change, but they won't remember me. I'm okay with that, as long as they will be entitled to live a normal, peaceful life, like they should have been from the beginning. Like all of us should…"

"And you? What if Hermione Granger appears in Hogwarts like she was supposed to?", he asked with irony, that made her heart clench pitifully.

"She's not going to. I made sure of that as well. Obliviating your parents for the second time doesn't feel all that good", she said, smiling weakly as a memory of her parents forced its way to the surface of her mind. "They are safe and sound, across the world from here. The chances of anyone ever knowing two Hermione Grangers are very, very low"

"How could you… How could you do that? How could you even live with everything?"

His voice was full of wonder, of compassion and of something entirely surprising –anger. Sirius Black sat before her, being angry at the entire world for making her suffer like that. Without her friends, without anyone to share her pain with. He felt for her.

"You wanted me to, Sirius, didn't you? You told me that I couldn't shield myself from everyone, that I couldn't push you away", she said with a small smile, but the boy snorted, shaking his head.

"I had no idea about any of this, Hermione"

"But what if you had… Would you felt differently about me? Would you tell me something else?", she asked, before she could have changed her mind after her sudden surge of bravery left.

Sirius fell quiet and simply looked at her, tracing her entire face with his silvery eyes filled with a bundle of emotions.

"No. Nothing can ever change the way I feel about you, even everything you had just told me. I'll admit, it's a lot to deal with and I'm going to need some time to figure it all out, but… Something tells me you didn't come up with an entirely different personality just to fool us. I fell in love with you not because of your past, but because you're amazing. And the fact that you were able to live through everything and still not give up… I would never reject you for that"

Suddenly, she was able to breathe again. Her lungs filled with air, as her entire body stopped feeling rigid. Sirius wasn't going to leave her, even with everything she had told him. All of her fears and doubts left her heart in a matter of seconds, as she slid down her chair, letting her tears glide down the smooth surface of her cheeks.

"I should probably be offended that you had thought, even for a second, that I would turn my back on you", Sirius said and smiled, even though it must have been hard for him to find his humour in such situation.

"I knew you wouldn't. Deep down I knew, but… You can't blame for being afraid. It's a lot to take in. Hell, I still cannot believe it sometimes. No one could have come up with a more messed up story than this one. But it's my reality now and I had to learn how to live in it. New life, new people… The new me", she whispered the last couple of words and looked down to her shaking hands.

"I can't imagine what it must feel like", he said quietly and shifted in his chair.

"Nor should you, Sirius. No one should, actually. I'm trying to do everything I can to make it possible"

The boy fell silent for a moment, closing his eyes tiredly. His hand started to curl a strand of his hair absentmindedly, as he sank into his thoughts. Hermione watched him with fluttering heart and smiled to herself. It was true that her life resembled a huge, completely impossible mess, but to say that it consisted of nothing but pain would be a lie. She had lost so much, that it broke her more times that she could count. Her heart shattered only to be mended again and she waited for that moment when it simply wouldn't be possible anymore.

But then he came. A person she thought she had known, a person that she would never even consider a lover material. Not with the age difference, not with the fact that he had been her friends godfather. It was insane to think about having a relationship with him, but she simply didn't care about it anymore.

He gave her hope. Hope, that maybe her life wasn't entirely lost, that maybe she still had a chance for a future, a good one at that, even if not the one she had planned for. He became the reason she not only wanted to fight, but needed to.

"Sirius…", she muttered in a strained voice, capturing his attention. "I just want you to know that what I feel for you is real. Even with all those lies and secrets, I couldn't have faked it. I tried to do everything not to fall for you, but I simply couldn't"

Padfoot blinked with surprise and then gave her a brilliant grin, that made her tears flow even faster. It was her grin, the one he offered when he tried to flirt with her or evoke her blush. He used to flash it at numerous girls, but now it was reserved only for her and somehow, that knowledge made her want to sob uncontrollably.

"Even if technically I'm twenty years older than you are?", he chuckled and she couldn't help but to laugh through her tears. "Tell me, were we a thing back in your times?"

She shook her head rapidly and bit her lip.

"Um, no. I honestly think that our relationship would cause everyone to suffer a heart attack"

"James would probably have a blast, though!", Sirius giggled and Hermione's smile faltered a bit. "He always said that I'm going to end up chasing girls half my age. Little did he know that one of them was going to capture my undying love"

She rolled her eyes at him, making him laugh again.

"How did we even meet?", he asked after a minute and Hermione sighed.

"I cannot tell you. It's too risky"

"Fine. At least tell me if I was good looking", he tried again and this time, she snorted with amusement.

Even with all of the dark thoughts she had about that conversation, somehow she knew he was going to ask something like that.

"You were ugly, old and wrinkled. Also, you developed a particularly nasty mole on your nose"

Sirius frowned, trying to figure out if she was telling the truth, but when she started to giggle, his expression turned into a very relieved one.

"You can't say things like that!", he pointed his finger at her and shook his head. "You scared me shitless, love!"

"Serves you right for being vain", Hermione answered and smiled. "Truth to be told, I never looked at you like that. It just didn't feel right"

"So I guess, my younger version must have completely swept you of your feet if you changed your mind"

"It did", she said and met his gaze shyly. "I thought I had known you, Sirius. But seeing you on King's Cross was kind of like being struck in the head. James I had recognized, Remus too, but you…", she stopped, realising that speaking of it wasn't particularly wise.

Hermione smiled apologetically and looked down to her hands.

"I can't tell you anything about your future, or anyone else's for a fact. But what I need you to know is that meeting you had been that one thing that kept me sane. You didn't know me, but it made me feel so much better to know that you're here"

Sirius smiled gently and stood up, opening his arms for her.

"Come here, kitten", he pleaded and she got up immediately, sinking into his warm embrace.

They fell silent, drinking in each other's warmth. Hermione knew that their conversation was far from over, but right now, she needed to feel that safety and love he offered. She simply needed him and it felt as natural as breathing. Her mind wondered briefly, what would Harry and Ron have said if they had seen her like that. Would they accept her feelings, as long as she was happy? She had no doubts that they would. After everything they've been through, after everything they've done to save each other… Nothing mattered more than their happiness.

Hermione felt Sirius become still for a moment and she stepped back, trying to see his face. A groan escaped his throat as he looked at her with despair.

"I just realised…"

"What?"

"That the guy that took your virginity isn't even born yet and I cannot hunt him down and kill him"

Hermione blinked a couple of times and then burst into laughter. Laughter that was genuine and completely carefree –for the first time in forever.