Barney walked outside and looked around. A few feet away, he saw Lee sitting on a bench, his head prompted on his open hands.
Barney joined him and sat down at first saying nothing.
It was the first time he saw Lee in such a tormented state of mind. It would also be the first time that he felt he needed to break the ice.
"She's strong you know. If she's made it this far, then I'm sure she'll be able to overcome anything that comes next".
Lee nodded but still said nothing.
"You should be there when she wakes up Lee".
"I'm not sure that's a good idea, Barney".
"Why not"?
"I've got nothing to offer her Barney".
Barney shook his head in protest.
"That's not true and you know it".
"If Victor thought she would have a terrible life with me when I was in the army, imagine now. I'm a mercenary. There are more chances of me dying doing what it is I do now then when I was a soldier".
Before Barney could say anything, Lee continued.
"We leave on a second's notice on a mission, we are gone sometimes for weeks. I can't give her stability Barney".
"You know, you're one hell of a piece of work".
Lee turned and looked at him with a mean look.
"Well it's true. Ever since you've known the truth about how your separation with Caitlin came to be, your feelings for her have come back up to the surface and I get that's it rattling. And right now, you're being selfish".
"Selfish?! I'm on the contrary being anything but selfish! I'm thinking about her and her future".
"Bullshit, you're scared of what it could bring if it works out. And you are being selfish. You are taking decisions for her without even asking her what it is that she wants from life. She thought you were dead Lee, she's been grieving you all these years. A woman who hasn't let go of the love she has for you all these years, you don't get a second chance like that. Screw Victor, if you still have feelings for her, show her, tell her, be with her. I know you and even if you're trying to play tough guy here, I know you're going to regret it if you walk away"!
Lee looked out at the horizon. Most of what Barney had said was right. But there was one factor that Barney hadn't considered, and that was fear.
"I'm scared shitless Barney"!
"Being scared is good, if you weren't scared, I'd have doubts about what it is you are feeling about her".
"What if things are different between us"?
Barney shrugged. "Maybe they should be. You've both changed, you've both lived things these past years that have made you stronger and realized that life is precious and shouldn't be taken for granted. Maybe change is good".
Barney paused for a second. "Now, if you're talking romantically... well, I guess you won't know until you try"!
Lee looked at himself. He was still dressed in his mercenary gear. He stood and looked at Barney.
"I'm going to see if I can get into some street clothes before she wakes up".
Barney stood in turn and placed a hand on Lee's shoulder and nodded.
"You know, I'm a firm believer that things happen for a reason Lee. If she's back into your life, there's a good reason, you just have to have faith that it'll be worth it".
Caitlin slowly moved from an unconscious state to semi-conscious state. She was sore and in pain. Things were fuzzy in her head. The last parts were a blur and she couldn't tell which part had been real or not. Lee!? She remembered Lee, but it seemed so unrealistic and distant. Had the final blow to the head, altered her perception of things, had she been dreaming?
Little by little, she became more and more aware of her surroundings even if her eyes were still closed. She felt the soft linen sheets over her body. She heard the beeping of monitors and slowly became more aware of her actual body. If the hints she was getting were right, she was alive and most probably in the hospital, which meant that she was safe.
Maybe in the end, someone had come to her rescue. She flickered her eyes for a few minutes and tried to open them and found it extremely hard to. She kept trying and forced herself. Finally, she could slowly feel the light seeping in. What she saw was blurry and it took a couple of seconds for one of her eyes to focus, whereas the other remained slightly closed. Aside from the beeping sound of the monitor, the room was quiet. She instinctively brought her right hand to her swollen eye and touched it lightly realizing how bad out of shape it was. She winced as her touch woke up the pain that had seemed non-existent.
Lee watched her, quietly, from the chair that was at the far left of the bed, slightly in retreat. He wanted to give her time to assess and come to terms with her condition. He'd been sitting there for the past hour turning around in his head, what he was going to tell her.
When he had worked up the courage to finally wing it, finding everything he had prepared to say completely stupid, he saw that she was turning her head in his direction. He swallowed and held his breath.
She blinked a couple of times and then he saw her chin tremble. Her eyes weld up and a few tears ran down the side of her eye, to her cheek then fell on the linen sheet. He stood and took one decisive step towards the hospital bed. He sat down at her side and took her left hand in his as she kept looking at him, unable to remove her eyes away from him.
She rose her right hand and placed it gently on Lee's face, almost as if she needed to do that to make sure he was real and what she had somewhat remembered from what had happened, had been real.
Then in the softest yet heartbroken voice he heard the words he had longed to hear for years.
"God, how I've missed you"!
Instinctively, Lee pulled her in closer slowly until his arms were around her and she had placed her head in the nook of his neck. The feeling of having her against him brought him back to how good it had always been to have her in his arms.
They remained like that for a while, even though Kate was in pain, she didn't care. She had wished and dreamed of this moment ever since she had known he had died, she was not about to let him go. Inevitably, the pain became too much, even with the morphine, and she slowly removed herself from his embrace.
He helped her lay back down gently.
"How"? she asked as she looked at him confused.
"That's not important right now. I'm here that's all that matters".
"Why now? Why not before"? she asked trembling, searching his eyes and he knew she was looking for the truth.
He took his finger and caressed her cheek. "There are a lot of things you don't know Kate. I promise you, I'll tell you when the time is right, but right now, I want to focus on this moment".
Kate said nothing, realizing that he was being sincere, and she knew that Lee was a man of his words. If he promised to tell her the truth, he would.
"How are you feeling"? dared to ask Lee.
"Physically or emotionally"?
"Both. I need to know as well as what is going through your mind".
"Physically, I feel like I've been in 20 boxing rounds with Rocky Balboa and my heart is pounding in my chest and it has nothing to do with what happened when I was held captive".
Lee realized that he had been holding his breath and gave a silent sigh of relief. She still had feelings for him, it was more than obvious, she had never stopped loving him, just as Victor had said.
"Emotionally, my feelings are all over the place Lee". She paused for a moment and he could tell she was lost in a distant memory. "I grieved you. Up until a couple of days ago, I was still grieving you".
"I know", said Lee realizing the ordeal she had gone through.
She bit her lip. "Happy Birthday".
He thought about it. He had stopped celebrating his birthday, not when he got to a certain age, but after Kate had left him. The birthdays they had celebrated together had been epic and the most romantic, he knew they could never be equaled, nor did he even want it to be.
"Best birthday in a long time", he said smiling.
He took her hand in his.
"You did the right thing in remembering about Barney Ross. If you hadn't, we would never have found you".
"What exactly are you"?
"Let's just say that we are a group of tactical talented guys who help people and fight crime".
The door opened, and the doctor walked in. At first, he looked at the monitors then at Kate.
"How are you feeling? Can you tell me on a scale of 1 to 10 where your level of pain is"?
She thought for a moment, wanting to lie. If there was anyone in this room that was a symbol of strength, it was Lee and she had learned her strength from him. She had been strong all these years, even when he hadn't been around, but what she had been through, what she was still going through was harder than anything she had lived so far. Nobody would expect her to be fine.
"I would say an 8. My eye is very painful, and it hurts when I breathe".
The doctor nodded. "Is it alright if I examine you"?
"Naturally", responded Kate as she watched Lee stand, wanting to give the doctor and Kate some privacy. He headed for the door.
"You're not going to disappear again are you"? asked Kate.
His heart sank.
"Not a chance", he said as he grabbed the handle and smiled at her, before letting himself out of the room.