She had almost forgot what it was like to have nightmares. A few month ago, they had been a part of her life, plaguing her every night and making her life a living hell. She had gotten used to them so much, that when they finally disappeared she almost didn't notice it. But when they came back… She felt as though she'd rather have them every night, because maybe then tonight's dream wouldn't hurt as much.

It felt so real and so, so painful that she wanted to scream. Maybe she even did? When she had woken up, her sheets clang to her body tightly, as they were drenched with her sweat, tears and… blood. For a mere second after she had opened her eyes, she thought she had just escaped the Final Battle with her body cut and bruised. It seemed fitting, since her dream had led her back to that feral night, that had brought her here.

Hermione needed only a couple of seconds to realise that even though she had found herself back in the Hospital Wing, everything else had just been a dream. Everything apart from her body being cut and bruised... Every single move hurt and judging by the blood staining the sheets, her nightmare had made her toss and turn so much that her wounds reopened.

"Madame Pomfrey," she called out as loud as she could, but her voice came in nothing more but a whisper.

She must have been here for a quite some time now, if even her vocal cords had decided to malfunction. Fortunately, the nurse managed to hear her pathetic attempt on screaming and rushed into the room with a worried look gracing her face.

"Miss Granger, you're awake!" she exclaimed and took out her wand immediately.

It didn't take long for her to notice the blood on the sheets, as she started to examine Hermione's wounds right away.

"I think I must have reopened them in my sleep," Hermione whispered and closed her eyes, not wanting to see her body.

It was enough that she had to feel it. Before she could stop herself, a sob escaped her mouth as tears began streaming down her face. Her memories from that feral night started to come back to her, forcing her to relive all the pain and suffering the Slytherins had inflicted upon her. Her wounds hurt, but nothing could compare to the mere knowledge that one of the people she had sworn to save had turned his back on her. She knew that he didn't curse her with all he had, but a couple of spells that reached her had most definitely come from Severus Snape.

"It hurts," she muttered and the nurse nodded sympathetically, clearly thinking about Hermione's wounds.

The girl knew that physical suffering wasn't her main concern; it was the ache puncturing her heart with every single breath. Her eyelids started to droop lower and lower, covering her brown eyes, but Hermione knew she wouldn't be able to go back to sleep anytime soon. Not without the nightmares sneaking into her head once more.

"How long was I out?" she asked instead, opening her eyes once again, and Madame Pomfrey shot her a cautious look.

"Two days."

Hermione nodded lightly and searched the room for anyone else, but it seemed like she was the only one lying in the hospital bed that night.

"Your friends were here all day. And the day before. Mr Black refused to leave your side and I had to forcefully throw him out," the older woman said and Hermione smiled through her tears.

Oh, how she wished he could have been here right now… Maybe then she would be able to sleep and feel completely safe?

"Madame Pomfrey… I know it's a lot to ask, but could you send for him?" she said and the woman gave her another cautious look.

"Miss Granger, don't you think it's highly inappropriate?"

"I'm having nightmares. He helps," she replied and the nurse scoffed.

"Not possible, I gave you the Sleeping Draught."

"And yet, I have nightmares. Please… I…"

Her voice broke unexpectedly and she started to wonder if that fight she had gotten into had not only turned her into a beaten pulp, but also into someone who was too afraid to sleep.

"Fine. But I'm making an exception and I'm going to keep listening in, to make sure you're not doing anything inappropriate."

Hermione didn't even have the strength to remind the woman that with all of her wounds, she was in no state for acting like a hormone-crazed teenager. She just wanted Sirius to hold her hand and whisper sweet nothings into her ear. He had always managed to turn even the worst situation into something much less scary.

She spent half an hour staring at the ceiling, trying to remember everything that had happened two days ago. After Peter left, she had thrown herself into the fight, doing her best to hold the Slytherins off long enough to ensure her friend's safety. After that, things started to go really wrong. She had broken one of Moody's crucial rules; she allowed them to surround her. Even being as fast and agile as she was, dodging spells coming from behind her back turned out to be completely impossible and soon enough, she had found herself on her knees, taking hit after hit, unable to fight back.

Hermione didn't even know how long it took for her to pass out, or even why was she still alive. After seeing so much hatred in Mulciber's eyes, figuring out that he had wanted to kill her wasn't all that difficult. What happened? She really hoped Sirius would have some answers for her. Answers and a lot of comfort.

Suddenly, the door to the Hospital Wing flew open, making her snap out of her daze instantly, as she spotted Padfoot's silhouette in the darkness. He practically ran towards her bed and she couldn't help but smile, even though even that simple gesture seemed to hurt her broken body.

"I was so scared… You have no idea, love," Sirius murmured as soon as he had wrapped his arms around her tenderly.

Even though she wanted to wince at the contact, she stayed calm and inhaled sharply, finding comfort in his familiar scent. Tears started to roll down her cheeks once more, as she realised that she simply couldn't be strong anymore. She had tried so hard to make everything perfect and she still failed. Why?

"Is Peter okay?" she asked, pushing away her miserable thoughts and Sirius tensed considerably.

"He is. Even though he doesn't deserve to be."

His angry tone made her look up in surprise.

"Of course he does," she protested and scowled when that sudden movement made her body protest.

Sirius let go of her almost immediately, looking her over and trying to find the source of her pain. Hermione smiled weakly, not wanting him to treat her like she was made of eggshells, but her boyfriend sat down by her bed and simply entwined their fingers together, not wanting to hurt her more.

She found herself missing his warmth almost instantly, so she pulled up the covers with her free hand and met his worried gaze.

"He left you, love," he whispered in an agonised tone and shut his eyes tightly. "You almost died because of it."

"I told him to go, Sirius. With or without him, we didn't have a chance of winning," she answered and bit her bottom lip for a second. "He wouldn't have helped me."

He was too afraid, she added to herself and smiled bitterly. She should have simply run away with him. She shouldn't have stayed to fight them. Not only was it reckless, but also incredibly stupid.

"Why do you always insist on being a bloody hero, Hermione?" he asked, as if he was reading her thoughts. "You clearly knew that you weren't going to win that fight. They outnumbered you and they happen to be pretty good at duelling. You probably could have taken on one of them, two at most, but four? You nearly got yourself killed. And for what?"

His voice sounded so broke, that she wanted to cover her ears so she wouldn't have to hear it any longer. She deserved to hear it, though. Sirius was completely right and there was no denying that fact.

"I'm sorry," she muttered, knowing that it wouldn't be enough to make him forgive her, but she really meant it. "I…"

Her next words got stuck in her throat and refused to leave it, so she simply looked at Sirius with shame filling her eyes and he sighed, raising their entwined hands and kissing her knuckles.

"Promise me not to do this again. I don't want to hear any more of this 'I can't talk about it, because it's dangerous' crap. We're your friends and we are a part of this fight, whether you like it or not. From now on, you're going to let us help you, even if it takes hours to explain some things to our stupid, immature brains, alright?"

She almost chuckled at his statement, but stopped herself just in time, as her wounds would have, without a doubt, made her regret laughing so soon.

"These past few months got me thinking that I was in control of this entire situation. I thought that I couldn't go wrong, not if I spent hours planning everything. It is so easy to forget that I can't achieve anything if I'm all alone," she whispered and averted her gaze for a second, looking down to their joined hands. "Peter was right when he called me a martyr. I've been doing it for so long that I didn't even want to consider easier solutions, merely because they involved you."

"Peter wanted to betray us, Hermione," Sirius sharp tone made her flinch and she met his gaze with hesitation. "Even if he claims to be reformed now, how can you be sure that he won't have another change of heart?"

"He's your friend," she reminded him and earned herself a scoff.

"Friend? He left my girlfriend for death, Hermione! He ran back to the Common Room and found us, but when we arrived at the corridor, the Slytherins had already gone back to their lair. It's a miracle you're alive, Hermione. And we cannot prove anything to them, because it's your word against theirs and we can't exactly use Veritaserum on them. Not according to the law."

His words were spoken in a mere whisper, but somehow they held so much force that Hermione felt shivers running up her spine.

"What about Prior Incantato? Haven't you tried that?" she asked with hope, but Sirius shook his head dejectedly.

"By the time McGonagall and Dumbledore reached the dungeons, they had already managed to cast a few spells to cover their tracks."

"So there's nothing we can do," she stated and Sirius nodded grimly.

"If only Peter had stayed with you…"

"… he would've gotten hurt as well," she interrupted his words and shook her head. "You can't blame him for what happened to me."

"Of course I bloody can, Hermione! He wanted to join the Death Eaters, just like my stupid brother and just like your precious friend Snivellus! When they started to threaten him, he ran to you for help, knowing full well that you were going to do everything you could to save his parents. He knew all of this and he still chose to do it! None of this would have happened if it wasn't for his stupidity!"

"It's still not a reason to hate him!" she countered and scowled when her ribs protested against her exertion. "He got lost, but he at least tried to get back on the right path. Right now, he is even bound by oath to stay on it. The weight of his mistake is going to be with him forever, Sirius. He already has his punishment."

Padfoot looked at her angrily, but with each passing second his eyes became softer and softer, until his whitened knuckles covering her own palm remained the only sign of his fury.

"I can't just forgive him, love. Maybe others can, but I… He knew everything about my family, he knew how much they hurt me. And he still thought joining them would be a good idea. What kind of friend would do that?" he asked, sounding completely broken and Hermione furrowed her brows in compassion. "I know he regrets it, I know that he's going to carry that burden all the time, but… It simply hurts too much. All of it."

Hermione knew that there was literally nothing she could have said to ease his pain or to convince him to change his mind. Even though she hoped that after some time had passed, things would get back to even remotely normal, she wasn't going to force anything on him. Not after everything she had put him through.

"I'm sorry, Sirius," she said again and squeezed his hand. "I really am. But I also feel grateful for that night, because… I woke up knowing that I've been lying to myself these past few months. I agreed to give us a chance, because I thought it would be enough to start living again. But it isn't enough. Not if I constantly shut you out, instead of pulling you with me. I've got it all wrong and I'm sorry."

Sirius looked at her for a moment and then simply leaned forward, capturing her lips with his own. It was a tender kiss, full of love and relief and she appreciated every second of it. Once he finally pulled back, his eyes told her everything she needed to know.

None of her friends were truly grown-up… But that didn't mean they couldn't fight alongside her.

"You have always been a fighter," she whispered, remembering Lily's words.

A smile graced his face, and this time, it felt completely genuine.

"That's because I'm good at finding things worth fighting for. We all are."