I'm starting to like her, like really like her and that's a mistake but I just can't help it. She's so gorgeous. I want to be like her. I want to be with her, but of course there is no chance this is ever going to happen.

Agreeing to let Kristoff's cousin live with me has probably been a mistake from the beginning but liking herthat wayis a mistake beyond any mistakes. It's awkward and most of all it is too risky. If she finds out what I am, she's most likely going to freak and I don't know if I can handle that drama once again. I'm so tired of it.

The problem is that Elsa is so incredibly nice to me despite me snapping at her. It's her being nice to me, that holds something I'm not used to but enjoy way more than it is good for me. With her everything seems so normal somehow and I've craved for a bit of plain, dull everyday life for so very long now.

I don't want to lose this but losing it is irrevocably going to happen once she discovers the truth about me. Maybe it would have been better if Kristoff had told Elsa everything about me before she came here.

"Have I done anything wrong? You seem mad at me somehow." she asks me suddenly, looking up from the cup of green tea between her hands.

I cringe and choke on the piece of dry bagel in my mouth before I manage to calm myself enough to answer her.

"No, I'm not mad at you. What makes you think that?"

It's probably the fact that you have been acting like an embittered bitch towards her during the entire last week. Damn it, Anna.

"You seem tensed all the time, like you don't really like having me here, but you're not saying anything about it. Kristoff has talked you into letting me stay with you hasn't he?"

"Yes, he did but it's ok. It's just for a few more weeks."

"Hmm,"

She stands up from her chair and starts putting the dirty plates into the dishwasher. When I hand her my cup our fingertips touch against each other for a split second. Heat spreads through me and I try to ignore the feeling as much as I can.

"How close are you and Kristoff?"

"Well, he's my best friend. Why are you asking?"

Her cheeks blush into an adorable crimson color and when she speaks up again she stammers nervously.

"I assumed he would have told you about me. But maybe he was worried that you wouldn't want to let me live with you if you knew."

"If I knew what?" I ask her, letting my eyes move down her delicate body. The material of her tank top is so thin that I can see the outlines of her small breasts through it. The disgusting thing between my thighs reacts almost instantly to that visual and twitches. Shouldn't the testosterone blockers help with that sort of problem? Maybe I should ask the doctors for a higher doses. I definitely need every kind of help fighting my physical attraction for the dainty woman in front of me. It is pointless and will lead to nothing but me getting hurt all over again, most likely even worse than before.

She grabs the hem of her shirt between her fingers, lifting it up a bit so that I can see the tiny crystal of her belly button piercing. I want to run my tongue around it.

Sicko - Stop starring at her right now, you sick piece of shit.

"Well, I like girls— a lot."

And I would like being a girl a lot, I think bitterly while I watch fascinated how her upper lip gets attacked by her pearly-white front teeth.

"I don't usually tell people I'm gay when I don't know them very well but as you are acting so tensed around me, I just wanted to make sure that you don't have a problem with it."

"No," I whisper. "No problem. You can be with whoever you want to be. It's your life."

"I didn't want to be with someone in a long time although I have to admit that I miss the sex a lot."

When she says that her eyes sparkle and I can't manage to look longer at the clear blue of their iris as for a second. The heat is back again, overwhelming me so much that I have to lean my head against the cold metal of the fridge. Then I feel the familiar throbbing of a beginning erection between my legs and press my hand against my crotch so harshly it is painful. God, damn it—

"Are you okay?" she asks me worriedly, placing her hand on my bare forearm.

"It was just a cramp. I'm going to take a shower now." I mumble, trying to keep my breathing calm.

Locked inside the security of my small bathroom I cover the mirror with a towel before stepping out of my clothes. As usually I avoid looking down at myself at any cost. I don't need to seeit. It's bad enough that I can feel and right now I feel more than I can handle. My semi hard erection turns into a full one when the warm water of the shower starts pouring down on me. I should just turn the water above me to ice cold and end this unwanted reaction of my body but somehow I can't. My trembling fingers close around the hard shaft and while I move them up and down, I can't stop imagining my hand being hers.

Biting my fist in order to suppress a deep-throated groan I release against the glass wall of the shower as my climax makes my entire body shudder with pleasure.