*5*

Sometimes when you start lying to someone it gets easier with every new lie you tell. At least most of the time it was like that for me, it had been like that for me. But of course with Elsa everything was different.

"That must have been hard for you losing your twin brother." she mumbles, stirring the little Marshmallow's in her hot chocolate around before taking a first hesitant sip on the hot drink.

"I prefer not talking about him, if that's okay." I whisper, starring out of the kitchen window. The sky outside is pitch-black and the strong wind that is blowing through the trees is already hinting to the nearing of a thunderstorm. I loved those when I was a little kid.

She nods her head and lifts her cup to her full mouth again. The brownish mark the drink leaves on her lower lip makes me want to run the tip of my tongue over it. I bet from that source the chocolate would taste twice as sweet.

Damn it, Anna. Stop thinking about her like that. It's so hopeless. There is no way she could ever accept someone like you, especially not at your current status. She's a lesbian. That most likely means she is repulsed by anything male-related. So, how could you ever be with her while you still have this thing down there?

"Anna, would you like to go out with me some time?"

Her cheeks turn into that beautiful crimson again when she stumbles out the question. For a moment I'm too shocked to react and she instantly seems to take that as a no.

"Forget it. It was a stupid idea. I'm probably not your type."

You are my type way more than you should be my type, I think sadly in my head.

"You're a very pretty girl." I whisper, leaning back against the kitchen counter. "But I'm not right for you."

"Why?" she asks me, standing up from her chair.

When she walks towards me, I feel the thrumming of my heart in my chest increasing to an almost painfully speed.

"I don't know. Well, I'm not like you. I'm different…sort of."

"Oh I get it. You are straight."

I'm probably the complete opposite of straight but anyway. If her thinking me straight ends this tension between us, I'll go with it.

"Yes," I tell her, trying to keep my voice hard. "I'm straight."

"Too bad." she whispers. "I actually thought you had a thing for me. Usually I'm good with reading the signs but anyway. You can't help it if you like dicks."

Liking dicks? I don't even like my own and can't wait to get rid of it. But the thought of touching a man's genitalia is simply repulsing to me. I like women, their warmth and softness. I wished I could bring up the courage to just lean forward and kiss the tiny Blonde-haired beauty in front of me.

I don't dare too. It's too risky.

"We could still go out, as friends, can't we? See a movie or something."

"Sure, if you liked that. It will be fun."

Yeah, sitting next to her in a dark movie theatre with her thigh touching accidentally against my knee that sounds like a hell lot of fun and torture combined all in one.

"Great. You can choose the movie, if you want to. Probably you want to see something with a hot guy in it. I wonder what your type is, someone like Kristoff perhaps? That would suck because he's taken now."

"Kristoff is like my brother. The thought of me and him together, that's just weird."

She places her delicate hand on my forearm and runs her fingertips down my pale skin until she reaches my fingertips.

"You don't prick your fingers."

"What?"

"Your fingertips, you don't prick them. I always thought diabetic patients would need to do that in order to check their blood sugar."

"Mind your own business." I hiss at her, turning around to rush out of the kitchen. In the living room, I kneel down on the couch and bury my face on my knees.

Stupid, stupid, Anna, congratulations on your incredible stupidity.

"Hey, why are you so mad at me now? You're acting like you are ashamed of being sick."

"You are so very observant. I can't handle that. It makes me feel like being watched 24/7."

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to offend you. I have a tendency to just say everything that comes up in my mind before considering if it's ok. My ex hated that on me."

"How long have the two of you been together?" I ask her in an attempt to lead our conversation from me and my so-called medical problems to her.

"About two years."

"That's a long time."

"It was too long actually. I should have broken up with her earlier but I was too chicken to be alone. Pretty pathetic isn't it?"

"No, it's not. A lot of people have problems with being alone. Do you miss her?"

"She was a bitch to me most of the time but still I miss being taken care of. I don't miss being commanded around all the time. Oh and of course, I miss the sex. I thought about buying some toys for me but I'm too shy to go to a shop."

"You could probably order them online." I whisper, trying to ignore the beginning stirring of my dick in my sweatpants.

"Are you alright, your face looks a bit flushed."

"I'm just warm." I state, placing a pillow on my crotch in an attempt to hide my erection.

Hearing her talk about sex while she is sitting close to me isn't something my traitorous body is able to handle very well. I want her so very badly but I know I can never have her.