*9*

Elsa is in her room when I make it home, her eyes focused on the sunflower painting in front of her. There is a tiny droplet of yellow paint on her left cheek and I lean forward to rub it away with a cloth that's laying on her nightstand. The small room is terribly crowded. Maybe she needs more space to work?

"The painting is so pretty. You're talented." I tell her, admiring her work.

"Thanks. But the truth is that it's really bad. I'll never be good enough. Lauren was right about that. I'm wasting my time with this instead of focusing on College."

I sit down on the edge of the twin bed and sigh deeply. My throat feels too tight to speak at all but somehow I manage it.

"Is this Lauren your ex?"

"Yes, she is. Maybe I should have stayed with her. At least I wouldn't be alone than."

"But you told me that she treated you badly. I don't understand why you would want her back."

Elsa sits down next to me, placing her dainty hand on my thigh. The touch of her fingers is sending a wave of pleasant warmth through my body. God, damn it, Anna, try to focus. You are here to tell her the truth. You have to tell her the truth.

"Why don't you want to be with me? Is it because I'm a girl or am I unattractive somehow?"

"What? No, of course not. You are the prettiest girl I ever met. Like I told you before, the problem is me, not you."

"I think that's a lame excuse. If you like me, why don't you want to be with me?"

"Elsa, please, this is so complicated. I don't know how to start."

"Starting is easy," Elsa whispers hoarsely before she cups my face carefully in both of her small hands. I hold my breath when her lips touch mine tenderly. Her kiss is so soft and in that very moment I feel more feminine than ever before in my life.

The tip of her tongue circles over my upper lip, teasing it playfully until I finally part my mouth with a moan. The feeling of my tongue against hers is heavenly. Before I can consider the possible consequences of my actions I pull her on my lap, wrapping my arms around her waist while our lips and tongues move with each other. Then she starts sucking gently on my tongue and the sensations this caress sends through my body are so overwhelming that my eyes roll back in my head.

I can feel the pulsing in my dick as it hardens underneath Elsa's backside and quickly I try to shove her down again but it's already too late. She has noticedit.

"Oh my God, what's that? What are you? Is this some kind of weird joke?"

She practically jumps from my lap, her entire body trembling so much that she collapses to the ground in a corner of the room.

"I'm so sorry." I whisper through the tears that start pouring down my face like fresh rain. All the tension of the last weeks breaks free and I can't manage to calm myself down again.

Elsa cries too, silently, rocking herself back and forth while dry sobs leave her quivering lips. I wonder if she's going to go into some shocked mode now. Damn it, I didn't mean for her to find out like this.

"What are you? I don't understand this. You feel soft, like a woman. I felt your breasts against mine through your shirt. How can you have a…cock?" the last word dies in her throat and it breaks my heart that I managed to scare her so very much. I want to be dead, just dead so that I don't have to deal with this horrible situation now.

"Elsa," I start eventually, kneeling down in front of her. I wipe my running nose at the back of my hand and take several deep breaths before speaking up.

"I'm sorry you had to find out like this. I wanted to tell you. I just didn't know how. I was scared."

"I'm the one who's scared now." Elsa mumbles, searching the pockets of her jeans for a tissue. When she eventually finds one, she blows her nose loudly. Her hands are still trembling. Crap, did I actually frighten her so much?

"Please let me explain." I whisper, reaching out my hand to place it on hers.

"Don't touch me!"

"I'm sorry. Oh Elsa, I'm so very sorry. I didn't mean to scare you. Please, don't be afraid. I won't harm you. You don't have to be afraid."

"Promise?"

"I swear. I could never hurt you. It's impossible. You mean so much to me."

"Anna; is that even your real name?"

"Yes it is. But it's not the name my parents chose for me when I was born. Do you remember the Polaroid of my twin that you found?" I ask her, my voice shaking more with every word that comes out of my mouth.

"Brian, wasn't it? Who died in the same car accident as your parents."

"There has never been a car accident. My mother and my father are still living in Georgia. They are the neighbors of your uncle Carter and your aunt Emma. I haven't spoken one single word to my parents in years. I'm the one who's dead to them."

"And what about Brian? Aren't you talking to him as well?"

"Well, he wasn't my brother. He was…god, this is so difficult. I was him and you can't even imagine how much I hated being him. I wanted to kill myself so many times when I still had to be him. It was like being trapped inside my own body."

"Are you trying to tell me you were a guy?"

"No, I wasn't, not even when I was a little boy. I always knew I was a girl, always