THE PIXYISH PROBLEM

Natasha woke up early on the next day. She found that, all the girls were still asleep. She then went to get a bath fast and found all the girls woken up. "Good morning people!", Natasha said happily to all the girls. Many of them were in a really sleepy state, so most of them just nodded. Hermione and Lavender greeted her back as they were up just after she was. She immediately went to the common room, and she found it nearly empty. She assumed that, most of the students were tired from their journey. She just sat in one of the couches, and waited for the others to arrive. Many of her upper years came down, and greeted her.

Hermione came down after sometime and said, "Simran said that she will come fast, and she wanted to come with us as she doesn't know the hallways."

"Of course, she can join us. We have to wait for Ron too. We did not talk to him much yesterday, did we?", Natasha asked.

"Yep. Did you talk to any of the other first years? They will need our help too. I still remember how I struggled last year.", Hermione said pointing at some first years, who looked really nervous.

Natasha did not think about the other first years, and realized that they both ought to help them. "No Hermione. I totally forgot about them. But I think the prefects will help them out, if in any problem.", Natasha said.

"Well, we will have to talk to them if we find them lost anyplace.", Hermione said.

"That we will do.", Natasha said. Just then Ron came into the common room, looking really tired. Natasha assumed that, Ron was still recovering from the night's sleep. "Good morning Ron. You look like you have not slept well.", Natasha said.

"Really rough night last one was. Had a really bad nightmare. I was being chased by scabbers who was grown really big. That was a really weird but scary dream.", Ron said as he finished the sentence with a yawn.

Natasha and Hermione burst out laughing at this. "What happened Ron? Scared of your own pet?", Hermione asked giggling.

"I hate both of you. I know that it was just a dream, but I just could not sleep after that.", Ron said with a reddened face. "Let's go to breakfast now. I am already starving.", he added.

"We are waiting for Simran. She said she wants help to explore the castle.", Natasha said.

"Well, I hope that she will come fast. Else I think I will eat you both.", Ron said rubbing his stomach. Just then the girl's dormitory door opened and Simran came out.

"Good morning, Ron.", Simran said smiling. Ron gave a small yawn, and said "good morning to you too. Let's go for breakfast. I am starving.". Then the four of them went down to the hall, to have their breakfast. Natasha ate the breakfast which was toast and egg. Hermione and Ron were also eating eagerly, but Simran was looking at the food with uncertainty.

"Why are you not eating?", Ron asked with food still in his mouth.

Simran looked at Ron disgustedly at first, but then said, "Well, this is not the breakfast I am accustomed to. I have dosas or idlys at my old school."

"Well, we will not get whatever those stuffs are here. I think you better get used to this.", Hermione said taking her porridge. Simran nodded and started helping herself with the toast. Just before they finished the breakfast, Professor McGonagall came moving along the Gryffindor table, handing out course schedules. Natasha took her and saw that they had double Herbology with the Hufflepuffs first.

The four of them left the castle together, crossed the vegetable patch, and made for the greenhouses, where the magical plants were kept. The three girls were talking excitedly about the plants, they had read about in the books. Ron frowned and stayed away from the discussion. As they neared the greenhouses they saw the rest of the class standing outside, waiting for Professor Sprout. The four of them had only just joined them when she came striding into view across the lawn, accompanied by Gilderoy Lockhart. Professor Sprout's arms were full of bandages, Natasha spotted the tree which was called whoomphing willow in the distance, which was famous for famous for aggressive behaviour. The tree was a bit damaged due to something.

"What do you suppose happened to the willow?", Natasha asked.

"I heard that, it was hit by lightning on the night of 30th. Seamus told that, he heard someone telling that.", Ron said. Natasha felt a little bad for the tree.

Professor Sprout was a squat little witch who wore a patched hat over her flyaway hair; there was usually a large amount of earth on her clothes and her fingernails would have made Aunt Petunia faint. Gilderoy Lockhart, however, was immaculate in sweeping robes of turquoise, his golden hair shining under a perfectly positioned turquoise hat with gold trimming.

"Oh, hello there!" he called, beaming around at the assembled students. "Just been showing Professor Sprout the right way to doctor a Whomping Willow! But I don't want you running away with the idea that I'm better at Herbology than she is! I just happen to have met several of these exotic plants on my travels...". Natasha was really sure that, she could see the Herbology professor really irritated by her colleague's company.

"Greenhouse three today, chaps!" said Professor Sprout, who was looking distinctly disgruntled, not at all her usual cheerful self.

There was a murmur of interest. They had only ever worked in greenhouse one before - greenhouse three housed far more interesting and dangerous plants. Professor Sprout took a large key from her belt and unlocked the door. Natasha caught a whiff of damp earth and fertilizer mingling with the heavy perfume of some giant, umbrella-sized flowers dangling from the ceiling. Natasha wondered what plant was the Professor introducing today, that must be interesting or dangerous.

Professor Sprout was standing behind a trestle bench in the centre of the greenhouse. About twenty pairs of different-coloured ear muffs were lying on the bench. The four of them took seats next to each other. The Professor looked at the students and said, "We'll be repotting Mandrakes today. Now, who can tell me the properties of the Mandrake?".

Hands of Hermione, Natasha and Simran shot straight up. "Mandrake, or Mandragora, is a powerful restorative," said Hermione before the other two. "It is used to return people who have been transfigured or cursed to their original state."

"Excellent. Ten points to Gryffindor," said Professor Sprout. "The Mandrake forms an essential part of most antidotes. It is also, however, dangerous. Who can tell me why?"

This time Natasha beat Hermione into answering and said, "The cry of the Mandrake is fatal to anyone who hears it.". "Precisely. Take another ten points," said Professor Sprout. "Now, the Mandrakes we have here are still very young."

She pointed to a row of deep trays as she spoke, and everyone shuffled forward for a better look. A hundred or so tufty little plants, purplish green in colour, were growing there in rows. "Everyone take a pair of earmuffs," said Professor Sprout. Natasha put the earmuffs immediately and there was a scramble as everyone tried to seize a pair that wasn't pink and fluffy. "When I tell you to put them on, make sure your ears are completely covered," said Professor Sprout. "When it is safe to remove them, I will give you the thumbs-up. Right - earmuffs on."

They shut out sound completely. Professor Sprout put the pink, fluffy pair over her own ears, rolled up the sleeves of her robes, grasped one of the tufty plants firmly, and pulled hard. Instead of roots, a small, muddy, and extremely ugly baby popped out of the earth. The leaves were growing right out of his head. He had pale green, mottled skin, and was clearly bawling at the top of his lungs. Professor Sprout took a large plant pot from under the table and plunged the Mandrake into it, burying him in dark, damp compost until only the tufted leaves were visible. Professor Sprout dusted off her hands, gave them all the thumbs-up, and removed her own earmuffs.

"As our Mandrakes are only seedlings, their cries won't kill yet," she said calmly as though she'd just done nothing more exciting than water a begonia. "However, they will knock you out for several hours, and as I'm sure none of you want to miss your first day back, make sure your earmuffs are securely in place while you work. I will attract your attention when it is time to pack up. Four to a tray - there is a large supply of pots here - compost in the sacks over there - and be careful of the Venomous Tentacula, it's teething.". She gave a sharp slap to a spiky, dark red plant as she spoke, making it draw in the long feelers that had been inching sneakily over her shoulder.

The four of them were joined at their tray by a curly-haired Hufflepuff boy Natasha knew by sight but had never spoken to. "Justin Finch-Fletchley," he said brightly, shaking Natasha by the hand. "Know who you are, of course, the famous Natasha Potter... And you're Hermione Granger – the two toppers in everything." Natasha and Hermione blushed at this. "You are Ron Weasley.", he said to Ron. "I don't think I recognize you.", he said to Simran.

"She is a new exchange student here.", Natasha said.

"Well, nice to meet you too.", Justin said nodding at Simran. "That Lockhart's something, isn't he?" said Justin happily as they began filling their plant pots with dragon dung compost. "Awfully brave chap. Have you read his books? I'd have died of fear if I'd been cornered in a telephone booth by a werewolf, but he stayed cool and - zap - just fantastic. My name was down for Eton, you know. I can't tell you how glad I am I came here instead. Of course, Mother was slightly disappointed, but since I made her read Lockhart's books I think she's begun to see how useful it'll be to have a fully trained wizard in the family...".

After that they didn't have much chance to talk. Their earmuffs were back on and they needed to concentrate on the Mandrakes. Professor Sprout had made it look extremely easy, but it wasn't. The Mandrakes didn't like coming out of the earth, but didn't seem to want to go back into it either. They squirmed, kicked, flailed their sharp little fists, and gnashed their teeth; Natasha spent ten whole minutes trying to squash a particularly fat one into a pot. By the end of the class, Natasha, like everyone else, was sweaty, aching, and covered in earth. Everyone traipsed back to the castle for a quick wash and then the Gryffindors hurried off to Transfiguration.

Transfiguration was a really interesting subject, and Natasha was really interested in that. Simran said about the transfigurations she had done in her first year, Natasha and Hermione found it similar to theirs. Professor McGonagall's classes were always hard work, but Natasha enjoyed the class nonetheless. She was supposed to be turning a beetle into a button, the three girls managed to transfigure it after trying for 20 minutes. Draco was the only Slytherin, who had managed to transfigure his button. McGonagall awarded points to all four of them, and praised them for their efforts.

Ron was having really bad problems with his wand. He had patched up his wand with some borrowed Spellotape, but it seemed to be damaged beyond repair. It kept crackling and sparking at odd moments, and every time Ron tried to transfigure his beetle it engulfed him in thick grey smoke that smelled of rotten eggs. Unable to see what he was doing, Ron accidentally squashed his beetle with his elbow and had to ask for a new one. Professor McGonagall wasn't pleased. Natasha was relieved to hear the lunch bell, as she was really tired and hungry after the really hard lesson. Everyone filed out of the classroom except the four of them. Ron was whacking his wand furiously on the desk.

"Stupid - useless - thing-", Ron was frustrated beyond anything. "You three really should tell me, how you manage to do it right every time."

"Write home for another one,", Natasha suggested as the wand let off a volley of bangs like a firecracker.

"I really can't do that, Nat! After buying all the books of that Lockhart, family is facing a bad financial crisis.", Ron said sadly. Natasha felt really bad for Ron. She wondered if there was any way to help the really nice family.

"Wands cost really low in India. India fortunately has a good abundance of the wizarding natural resources.", Simran remarked as they ate lunch.

"Well, that is really lucky for you.", Ron said with a bit of anger in his voice.

"What've we got this afternoon?", said Natasha, hastily changing the subject fearing an argument between the two.

"Défense Against the Dark Arts," said Hermione at once.

"Why, "demanded Ron, seizing her schedule, "have you outlined all Lockhart's lessons in little hearts?". Hermione snatched the schedule back, blushing furiously. Natasha and Simran giggled at this. Natasha knew that, Hermione was having a small crush on Lockhart.

"Do you also admire the professor?", Simran asked whispering to Natasha's ear.

"Nah! I really don't understand why other have though. He is not even that handsome.", Natasha replied. They finished lunch and went outside into the overcast courtyard. Hermione sat down on a stone step and buried her nose in Voyages with Vampires. Natasha, Simran and Ron stood talking about Quidditch for several minutes. Simran was also interested in quidditch like her. After some time, Natasha became aware that she was being closely watched. Looking up, she saw the very small, mousy-haired boy she'd seen trying on the Sorting Hat last night staring at Natasha as though transfixed.

Natasha was starting to feel a bit uncomfortable as she saw a muggle camera in the boy's hands. "All right, Natasha? I'm - I'm Colin Creevey," he said breathlessly, taking a tentative step forward. "I'm in Gryffindor, too. D'you think - would it be all right if - can I have a picture?" he said, raising the camera hopefully.

"A picture?" Natasha repeated blankly.

"So, I can prove I've met you," said Colin Creevey eagerly, edging further forward. "I know all about you. Everyone's told me. About how you survived when You-Know-Who tried to kill you and how he disappeared and everything and how you've still got a lightning scar on your forehead" (his eyes raked Natasha's hairline) "and a boy in my dormitory said if I develop the film in the right potion, the pictures will move." Colin drew a great shuddering breath of excitement and said, "It's amazing here, isn't it? I never knew all the odd stuff I could do was magic till I got the letter from Hogwarts. My dad's a milkman, he couldn't believe it either. So, I'm taking loads of pictures to send home to him. And it'd be really good if I had one of you".

Natasha was looking at the boy with a small laugh in her voice. Simran was giggling a bit.

"maybe your friend could take it and I could stand next to you? And then, could you sign it?", he continued. There seemed to be no end to his blabbering.

"Signed photos? You're giving out signed photos, Potter?", said a familiar voice. Natasha recognized it as Draco's. He came near her, with a small evil smile and said to the crowd, "Everyone line up! Natasha Potter's giving out signed photos! "

"Hey! I am not!", Natasha protested angrily. Draco just kept grinning.

"You're just jealous," piped up Colin, whose entire body was about as thick as Crabbe's neck.

"Why should I be jealous, firstie? I am the heir of an ancient and noble house. I have no reason to be jealous.", Draco said.

"Eat slugs, Malfoy," said Ron angrily. Crabbe stopped laughing and started rubbing his knuckles in a menacing way.

Simran was just watching what was going on. She knew that the other boy was just kidding around, and did not mean anything bad. It was apparent from his body language. He was surely a bully, but it seemed as though Natasha was not an intentional target.

"What's all this, what's all this?" Gilderoy Lockhart was striding toward them, his turquoise robes swirling behind him. "Who's giving out signed photos?".

Natasha frowned. That was real perfect timing by the professor. Natasha started to speak but she was cut short as Lockhart flung an arm around her shoulders and thundered jovially, "Shouldn't have asked! We meet again, Natasha!". Natasha saw Draco going away from the scene with a smirk. She knew that she hated that idiot. "Come on then, Mr. Creevey," said Lockhart, beaming at Colin. "A double portrait, can't do better than that, and we'll both sign it for you."

Colin fumbled for his camera and took the picture as the bell rang behind them, signalling the start of afternoon classes.

"Off you go, move along there," Lockhart called to the crowd, and he set off back to the castle with Natasha, who was wishing she knew a good Vanishing Spell, still clasped to her side. Natasha was relieved that the conversation will not go on for long. She knew that he was most probably not evil as evil, but just an idiot professor.

"A word to the wise, Natasha," said Lockhart paternally as they entered the building through a side door. "I covered up for you back there with young Creevey - if he was photographing me, too, your schoolmates won't think you're setting yourself up so much...".

Deaf to Natasha's stammers, Lockhart swept him down a corridor lined with staring students and up a staircase. "Let me just say that handing out signed pictures at this stage of your career isn't sensible - looks a tad bigheaded, Natasha, to be frank."

Lockhart just went on blabbering about how it is to be a famous person. Natasha turned around and looked at her friends for some help. Ron and Simran shook their heads helplessly, but Hermione just smiled as if encouraging her to be with the professor.

They had reached Lockhart's classroom and he let Natasha go at last. Natasha yanked her robes straight and headed for a seat at the very back of the class, where she busied himself with piling all seven of Lockhart's books in front of him, so that she could avoid looking at the real thing. The rest of the class came clattering in, the four of them sat next to each other.

When the whole class was seated, Lockhart cleared his throat loudly and silence fell. He reached forward, picked up Neville Longbottom's copy of Travels with Trolls, and held it up to show his own, winking portrait on the front. "Me," he said, pointing at it and winking as well. "Gilderoy Lockhart, Order of Merlin, Third Class, Honorary Member of the Dark Force Défense League, and five-time winner of Witch Weekly's Most Charming Smile Award but I don't talk about that. I didn't get rid of the Bandon Banshee by smiling at her!", He waited for them to laugh; a few people smiled weakly. But Natasha saw most of the girls giving Lockhart hopeful looks.

"I see you've all bought a complete set of my books - well done. I thought we'd start today with a little quiz. Nothing to worry about - just to check how well you've read them, how much you've taken in-", he said.

"A test at the beginning of the class? Maybe he might not be bad at all.", Natasha thought. The other teacher who did something similar was Professor Snape, and he turned out to be a really good one.

When he had handed out the test papers he returned to the front of the class and said, "You have thirty minutes - start - now!"

Natasha took a look at the paper and realized that, she was very wrong. The questions were:

1. What is Gilderoy Lockhart s favourite colour?

2. What is Gilderoy Lockhart's secret ambition?

3. What, in your opinion, is Gilderoy Lockhart's greatest achievement to date?

On and on it went, over three sides of paper, right down to:

54. When is Gilderoy Lockhart's birthday, and what would his ideal gift be?

Natasha somehow knew that; this year was going to be really hard in terms of DADA classes. She knew answers to many of the questions, as Hermione was talking about the professor the whole summer. She decided that, she will just give the answers for the sake of it. Natasha saw Hermione eagerly writing the answers to the questions, and noticed Ron and Simran just sitting and scratching their heads.

Half an hour later, Lockhart collected the papers and rifled through them in front of the class. "Tut, tut - hardly any of you remembered that my favourite colour is lilac. I say so in Year with the Yeti. And a few of you need to read Wanderings with Werewolves more carefully - I clearly state in chapter twelve that my ideal birthday gift would be harmony between all magic and non-magic peoples - though I wouldn't say no to a large bottle of Odgers Old Firewhisky!". He gave them another roguish wink. Ron was now staring at Lockhart with an expression of disbelief on his face; Seamus Finnigan and Dean Thomas, who were sitting in front, were shaking with silent laughter. Simran was just shaking her head, as if saying I can't believe this.

"... but Miss Hermione Granger knew my secret ambition is to rid the world of evil and market my own range of hair-care potions - good girl! In fact," - he flipped her paper over - "full marks! Where is Miss Hermione Granger?"

Hermione raised a trembling hand.

"Excellent!" beamed Lockhart. "And Miss Natasha Potter also has got a good score too. She is second only to Hermione.", Lockhart said and gave a wink to Natasha. Hermione smiled at her, and Ron and Simran gave looks of disbelief.

"Quite excellent! Take ten points each for Gryffindor! And so - to business-". He bent down behind his desk and lifted a large, covered cage onto it. "Now - be warned! It is my job to arm you against the foulest creatures known to wizardkind! You may find yourselves facing your worst fears in this room. Know only that no harm can befall you whilst I am here. All I ask is that you remain calm.".

In spite of himself, Natasha leaned around her pile of books for a better look at the cage. She was a bit interested at what the professor said. Lockhart placed a hand on the cover. Dean and Seamus had stopped laughing now. Neville was cowering in his front row seat.

"I must ask you not to scream," said Lockhart in a low voice. "It might provoke them.". As the whole class held its breath, Lockhart whipped off the cover. "Yes," he said dramatically. "Freshly caught Cornish pixies."

Seamus Finnigan couldn't control himself. He let out a snort of laughter that even Lockhart couldn't mistake for a scream of terror.

"Yes?" He smiled at Seamus.

"Well, they're not - they're not very - dangerous, are they?" Seamus choked.

"Don't be so sure!" said Lockhart, waggling a finger annoyingly at Seamus. "Devilish tricky little blighters they can be!"

The pixies were electric blue and about eight inches high, with pointed faces and voices so shrill it was like listening to a lot of budgies arguing. The moment the cover had been removed, they had started jabbering and rocketing around, rattling the bars and making bizarre faces at the people nearest them.

"Right, then," Lockhart said loudly. "Let's see what you make of them!" And he opened the cage.

The pixies shot in every direction like rockets. Two of them seized Neville by the ears and lifted him into the air. Several shots straight through the window, showering the back row with broken glass. The rest proceeded to wreck the classroom more effectively than a rampaging rhino. They grabbed ink bottles and sprayed the class with them, shredded books and papers, tore pictures from the walls, up-ended the waste basket, grabbed bags and books and threw them out of the smashed window; within minutes, half the class was sheltering under desks and Neville was swinging from the iron chandelier in the ceiling.

"Come on now - round them up, round them up, they're only pixies," Lockhart shouted. He rolled up his sleeves, brandished his wand, and bellowed, "Pessimism Pesternomi!".

It had absolutely no effect; one of the pixies seized his wand and threw it out of the window, too. Lockhart gulped and dived under his own desk, narrowly avoiding being squashed by Neville, who fell a second later as the chandelier gave way.

The bell rang and there was a mad rush toward the exit. In the relative calm that followed, Lockhart straightened up, caught sight of Natasha, Ron, Simran and Hermione, who were almost at the door, and said, "Well, I'll ask you three to just nip the rest of them back into their cage." He swept past them and shut the door quickly behind him. Natasha was fuming angrily at this. She just could not believe that idiot of a professor just let four second years handle those foul some pests.

"Hey! If you can't stop them, how can we?", Simran shouted and asked.

"Can you believe him?" roared Ron as one of the remaining pixies bit him painfully on the ear.

Natasha then realized that freezing charm would do the trick, and started putting it on the pixies.

"He just wants to give us some hands-on experience," said Hermione, immobilizing two pixies at once with a clever Freezing Charm and stuffing them back into their cage.

"Hands on?" said Simran, who was trying to grab a pixie dancing out of reach with its tongue out. "Hermione, he didn't have a clue what he was doing-"

"Rubbish," said Hermione. "You've read his books - look at all those amazing things he's done-"

"He says he's done," Ron muttered.