Harley giggled hysterically and started singing Hakuna Matata as the orderlies, in tandem with two armed guards, brought her into Arkham Asylum in a straitjackets.
"Come on, sing with me! Hakuna Matata!" She called out, much to the orderlies' and the guards', annoyance.
"Shut your mouth Quinn. You sound like a wounded hippo," one of the guards snapped. Quinn made a mock shocked gasp, and turned her head toward the guard in question.
"How rude! Didn'tcha motha eva teach ya manners?! Hippos are great singers!" Harley replied, followed by a giggle. The came to an empty sell and practically threw Harley into it. She grunted as she hit the floor and quickly jumped up toward the door as they slammed it shut. She looked out of the barred window and giggled again.
"Hey! I want my phone call!" She called. "I've got rights! I got the right to remain silent! But then all you saps wouldn't get ta here my angelic vocals!" she called again.
"Shut up!" one of the guards shouted back at her. Harley pouted and slumped onto the floor in the middle of her cell.
"No respect I tell ya!" Harley hummed a tune to herself while she wriggled around in her straitjacket until…"Tada!" she said in a low tone so as not to be heard, tossing the straitjacket across the cell. Harley skipped toward the window at the back of her cell and looked out, past the bars, waiting…then, as if on cue, a Batdrone, camouflaged by the night, silently made its way toward the window of her cell, carrying a weapon. It hovered by her window and cut a hole in the glass with a laser. Harley grabbed the circular piece of glass to prevent it from falling and making noise, then reached out and grabbed the gun.
"Oooh, this must be that Cold Gun that Arsenal was complainin' about! One Mr. Freeze Cosplay, comin' right up!" she called, firing it at the door. It shot what looked like a snowball at the door, which snap-freeze the locks. She grinned and kicked the door down, shattering the locks and sending the door crashing against the wall opposite her cell.
"Wow, this thing is fun!" Harley giggled as the Orderlies and the guards rushed into to stop her. She turned her attention to the guards and Orderlies, and in a display of acrobatics and martial prowess, she danced around them and easily took them out without firing a round from the cold gun.
"That'll teach ya to be so rude about my singin'!" She said with a frown. A frown which quickly faded and turned into a grin as she started humming to herself. She then started snap freezing the locks on all of the cells and letting out all of the patients. This was not part of the plan, of course, but why the hell not? Harley skipped down the hallway as the Asylum staff rushed to contain the situation. She stopped in front of the Joker's cell and looked in through the bars.
"Yoooo Hoooo! Oh Harley! Sweetie, Pumpki Pie! Do be a good girl and let Mister Jay out, hmm?" came the Joker's voice. The Joker approached the door, wearing a grin, and a straitjacket. Harley smiled brightly.
"Hmmm….okay!" she chortled, picking the lock on his door. He pushed it open, and there stood the Joker with a grin on his face.
"Ah, Harley! You-" The Joker began, interrupted when Harley head butted him in the face.
"The only reason I opened ya cell was so I could do that, ya asshole!" The Joker giggled from his place on the floor as the blood dripped from his nose.
"Oooh, little Harley's all grown up and into her big girl pants now!" The Joker taunted, giving another hysterical giggle as he got to his feet.
"Yeah. An' I'm done with you, ya chucklin' sack of shit," Harley snapped. The Joker grinned wickedly and attempted to follow Harley out, only to get the door literally slammed in his face.
"You witless little twit! I made you! Let me out, and I promise I'll make it quick!"
"I ain'tcha toy anymore! Now do yerself a favor, an' go bleed in a corner!" Harley called back.
"Harley! Harley! You get your ass back here and let me out now!"
Harley went back to humming a melody to herself as she skipped down the hallway and into the control room. The guard there attempted to apprehend her, but she knocked him out with an elbow to the face. She sat at the controls and started messing with the radio and the intercom.
"Attention everyone! Enjoy some jams while you go about riotin'!" Harley called over the intercom, as the song "I Want You Back" by The Jackson 5 started to play over the intercom.
Harley skipped through the halls of Arkham Asylum, singing along with the song, throwing the odd punch, or shoving the occasional inmate or staffer here or there as the riots grew increasingly violent. And loud. She made her way into the storage area and collected her mallet and her dual snub-nosed revolvers.
From there, she popped a piece of gum into her mouth and made her way out of the storage area. On her way to an old, abandoned wing of Arkham, she crossed paths with Poison Ivy. Or rather, her vines; a set of vines stretched across the asylum and pinned some guards to the wall. Harley's face lit up and she giggled as she skipped into the room.
"Ivy!" she chortled, skipping toward the woman. Ivy turned and smiled at the sight of Harley. "Fancy meetin' you here!"
"Well, well, well. Harley, it's been a while," Ivy said with a smirk. Harley giggled and and pounced on Ivy, wrapping her arms around her and giving her a kiss.
"Yup! Doin' a favor for Bats. Wanna help?" Harley asked. Ivy arched an eyebrow.
"A favor for Batman?"
"Mhm. We'll get to ride in the Batmobile! C'mon, it'll be fun!" Ivy heaved a sigh and pinched the bridge of her nose.
"I'll do it for you. Why are you so hard to say 'no' to?" she asked with a chuckle of amusement.
"Because I'm me!" Harley replied with a wink. She sauntered off toward the abandoned wing of the asylum with Poison Ivy right behind her. As they made their way there, Harley explained the situation, and the deal with Batman.
"He can't meet you in person, so I'm the Go-Between to deliver a message from him," said Gordon, shifting uncomfortable in front of Harley. The two of them were meeting in Downtown Gotham. He wasn't sure how Batman had arranged for him to meet Harley here, and after years of working with him, he learned to stop asking such questions.
"That so? And why's that?" Harley asked, arching an eyebrow. What was more amazing was that they were meeting without violence first.
"He says there are powerful people watching his every move. You were his only option, because you're the last person anyone would expect him to work with," Gordon replied. Harley let out a laugh and waved her hand dismissively.
"Well, he ain't wrong! Me, workin' with Bats?! That's crazy!" Harley said.
"Really?" Gordon asked. He had a device in his ear to communicate with Batman, to make a deal on his behalf. "Fine. He's willing to make a deal with you."
"A deal, huh? Well, he did save Ivy from that jackass, Luthor that one time. I guess I kinda owe him one! Okay, a deal then!" Harley chortled, bouncing a little on her feet. "I wanna joy ride in that Batmobile, just once!"
There was a long pause, with Gordon staring at Harley, and Harley grinning like a child.
"It's a deal."
"What? Really?! Awesome! Alright, whadda we waitin' for? What's the plan?" Gordon pulled out a pair of handcuffs and slapped them on Harley. It was his turn to grin. "Hey, what's the big idea?!"
"You're going into Arkham to do some digging. Batman has agreed to help you 'escape', and in return, he needs you to find someone," Gordon explained. Harley cocked her head and arched an eyebrow. Find someone?
"So we're looking for Bruce Wayne's butler?" Ivy asked in a hushed tone, arching an eyebrow as they crept through the decrepit halls of Arkham Asylum. Harley gave a shrug of her shoulders and nodded.
"Pretty much, yeah. Says these baddies kidnapped him and are holdin' him for ransom. Bruce Wayne paid, but they haven't given him back yet. That's where we come in!"
"These guys must be pretty good, if they're able to track Batman," Ivy replied. Harley gave a shrug of her shoulders.
"Yeah, but we can take 'em! We're us!"
"And how do you know they're here?"
"Well, Bats thinks they're somewhere on Arkham Island. And there's caves underneath the whole island! Plus this whole abandoned wing of Arkham that nobody has come to for decades! It's a good hidin' spot!" She turned to Ivy and flashed a grin. "Plus, It's what I'd do!"
"Of course," Ivy replied, flashing a smirk. The duo made their way down into the basement of the abandoned wing of Arkham which led down, deeper, through a tunnel into the cave system of the island.
"Joker used to use these tunnels to escape or hide stuff. It's a good place to hide; easy ta get lost if ya don't know where ya goin'."
"And you do?" Ivy asked.
"Eh, mostly," Harley replied with a smile, shrugging her shoulders.
"Harley."
"Relax, Red. I got this!"
The two continued to wander through the cave system until, at last-
"Hey, I don't remember this wall bein' here before," Harley said with a frown. She waltzed up to the wall and knocked on it. "Oooh, ya hear that? I think there's somethin' on the other side!" Harley said cheerily. She reached for her mallet and took a step back, then a step forward and swung it with all her might,. The wall shattered to reveal a small squad of mercenaries waiting on the other side.
"Well, well, well! A welcomin' party! How sweet!" Harley chortled, stepping aside to let Poison Ivy in.
"Hmm, I'd say we're in the right place. Now, obey me," Ivy said, raising her arms up and spreading some pheromones. And yet, none of the men so much as flinched.
"We're immune to your 'charms', Ivy. Men, open fire!" one of the soldiers called out.
"Hey Red, catch!" Harley called, tossing one of her revolvers to Ivy. Ivy caught the revolver and fired it at one of the guards while summoning the roots of the planets on the surface down to strike their attackers. As the mercenaries fired their guns, Ivy shielded Harley, briefly just because she'd launch an attack with her mallet. The two worked in tandem, covering each other as they disposed of the mercenaries one, by one.
"Well, that wasn't so hard!" Harley declared, resting her mallet on her shoulder. Aside from a few bruises from melee combat, the two of them got out of that little scrape in one piece.
"You're injured!" Ivy pointed out, pointing to a graze on her shoulder. Harley looked down at her shoulder where a bullet had grazed her and shrugged.
"Huh. Would ya look at that! Well, let's get goin'! We gotta favor to finish!" Harley replied, breaking down the door with a combination of cold gun, and mallet.
"Not a lot of security."
"Guess they didn't think anyone would find this place. Whoopsie!" Harley replied with a laugh. They explored the small compound, taking down the few guards and mercenaries that were inside. They didn't seem as if they had been expecting anyone to get in here, because they were completely unprepared for any kind of attack. Eventually, through a combination of searching and (violent) interrogation, they found Bruce Wayne's wayward butler; they came across the old man, tied to a chair, gagged, and injured.
"Well looky here! We found him!"
"Good. I need to get back to the surface," Ivy said a little tiredly.
"Oh right, ya need some light! Well, no worries Red! Let's grab 'im and go!"
"Alfred! Thank god!" Bruce exclaimed as he ran up to the butler and hugged him tightly. "I thought I'd never see you again!" He turned his attention onto Batman, Poison Ivy, and Harley Quinn. "I suppose you'll be wanting to be paid?" Bruce asked. Harley gave a shrug of her shoulders.
"Nah! It felt kinda nice doin' somethin' good! And besides, Batsy here now owes me a ride in that Batmobile! Right Batsy?" Harley asked with a childish grin, playfully poking Batman in the side with her elbow.
"Hmm…A deal is a deal. But Ivy needs to go back to Arkham."
"What?! You-" Ivy began, but Harley interrupted, getting between them.
"Wait just a minute! Ivy helped! You should let her go, this once!" Harley looked back and forth between a very unimpressed Batman, and a very annoyed Poison Ivy.
"How's about anotha' deal! You let her go, and Red and I will leave Gotham! How's about that?"
"Harley-"
"C'mon Red! Just you 'n' me, out on the road, beatin' the crap outta people what deserve it!" Everyone was silent, save for Bruce and Alfred who made their way inside the manor.
"Well…alright," Ivy replied, stealing a kiss from Harley.
"Whooo! Ivy and Quinn! Look out world!" Harley turned to Batman and grinned.
"So, about that Batmobile ride-"
"You take it to the next town over, and it'll return to me. Understood?" Batman replied.
"Sure thing Batsy! C'mon Red, let's go for a ride!" Harley said cheerily, jumping into the Batmobile with Ivy beside her.
"I have to admit, I've always been a little…curious."
"That's the spirit! Sayonara Batsy!" Harley called, peeling away from the manor. Once she was out of sight, Dick pulled the cowl off and made his way inside the manor.
"Well, that went better than expected. Granted, we're going to be cleaning up that mess in Arkham for a while," Dick said smoothly, stopping to hug Alfred.
"But it paid off," Bruce put in. He turned to Alfred and hugged the man again. "It's good to have you back, Alfred."
"I'm glad to see things worked out. While you were busy cracking Arkham, I managed to track down our next lead," The Question called, coming up from the Batcave.
"Where are we headed next?" Dick asked.
"Vatican City. The Catacombs beneath. It was there that the Illuminati once had a base of operations, and there where I believe we'll find the Broker. Or, if not, at least a trace."
"Vatican City it is."