Chapter 1

Pain and Panic had enjoyed watching their god swirl through the whirlpool of endless death. Hades' complaints and pleas had long ago faded. There was nothing else to watch now but the souls of the dead floating lazily in the green fluid of Styx.

They still giggled to themselves, but the spectacle was over. It was time to figure out… Well, whatever they were going to do now!

The two hench-monsters turned about to march up the stone steps to Hades' penthouse. Visions swirled in their heads about how they would redecorate that gloomy room with all the tokens and maps marking Hades' many defeats at the hands of Hercules. Upon further reflection, the two imps should have foreseen that Hades was setting up his own demise. That was the core concept of a basic tragedy.

He should have gone to the theater more often…

But right as they turned to leave Hades behind, they stopped dead in their tracks. A man stood right before them. He had sneaked up them quietly.

They just looked at his thick, black boots and the frayed, stained hem of his swirling cloak. Their eyes moved upwards in unison as they took in his pants with many bulging, oddly-placed pockets. They took in his sheathed sword and knife, the first adorned with a reared, hissing snake head, and the other with a roaring dragon. There was leather breastplate over his shirt with some colorful pattern obscured. And finally, his face was covered with a hood pulled over his eyes and covering even his nose. A large, toothy smile was splashed across his face.

"Pain… Panic..." he hissed.

The flinched as their names were said.

"Back away."

They both whimpered and scampered away.

"Who let the loon in here," Pain whispered under his breath.

"Well, Hercules did leave a pretty big hole in the entrance when he came in on Cerberus, Panic said back quickly. "We were all so taken in with Hercules, no one was watching out for others!"

"And who would even come down here, anyway?"

"Someone who wants to make a deal with the god of the underworld," the stranger said in response to Panic's question.

He lifted his hand up and red lightning formed around his fingers. His digits appeared to lengthen and the lightning burst from his hand. It rose to the high ceiling and writhed. A hand formed in the shape of a claw.

The stranger plunged his hand down towards the gloomy pit. The claw fell like a bolt from Zeus himself, crashing down at blinding speed. The dead howled as the red lightning flowed through them.

"I need something that he can give, which few others from the realms of death are willing to do," the man continued. "Hades is known for his deals, and though he often acts selfishly, he always keeps his end of the bargain. That is how Hercules regained his godlike strength when he should have been powerless against the Titans. I should reclaim them too, when I am done. I loved them as a kid."

Pain and Panic shared very confused looks with one another.

Over the course of the ten five minutes the lightning flashed and changed the color of the River Styx to blood red. The entire chamber was a thunderous horror show. The cloaked man did not say another word until Hades, a dripping wet mess, was reeled right out of the whirlpool. The lightning claw gently placed the god on his feet.

With a wave of his hand, the man restored Hades to his usual not-so-cheery self and said, "Hades, Lord of the Dead, I'm the Tscheapwhetzar and I have some matters I would like to discuss with you."

He did not let the god compose himself before he put a hand on his shoulder and steered him up the stairs. Again, Pain and Panic were unsure of how to proceed, so after a moment, they scampered up the stone steps after Hades and the the man with the strange name.

Once they were up in the penthouse and Hades had been pushed right onto his throne, the cloaked man removed two scrolls from one of his many pockets.

"Wait, wait, wait, hold on here. What is the name of Bejezzus just happened back there," Hades asked.

"I saved you," was the simple response. "And now, we're enjoying a drink."

"We are?"

"We all are."

Once more, with a slight gesture, drinks appeared in everyone's hands. Hades had a strong drink in a fine glass. Pain, Panic, and the stranger were slurping Hercules sodas. The god of death's hair flared red when he saw the drinks.

"Oh, get over it already. You were just beaten fair and square," the man said. "But I come with a way to mull all of that messiness away."

He began juggling his two scrolls…

Hades narrowed his eyes as he took a sip of his drink, before saying, "What was your name again, friend?"

"I'm the Tscheapwhetzar, but if you find that title too long for your liking, call me Ghash."

"Those are both terrible names," Hades said dully. "You made a big entrance, but tripped on the red carpet with that terrible intro."

The Tscheapwetzar burst into flames. His body elongated, becoming simultaneously serpentine and demonic. His cloak became black flames, licking at the ground. His hands were flaming claws, still juggling the scrolls, but they did not burst into flames. His head became like a dragon's, crowned with jagged and twisting horns. He stopped transforming as his body became flames and coals, his eyes burning white.

Then, in a flash, he returned to the his human form.

"Ghash," he said with a knowing smile, as if he was keeping a big joke to himself.

"Well, Ghash, I dread asking this," Hades replied, as if he was unfazed by the sudden display power and transformation. "But you obviously did not perform your little, unnecessary act of charity just for kicks and giggles."

This prompted a quick snort from Panic, which earned him a seething glare from his god.

Hades returned his gaze to the Tscheapwhetzar and continued, "So, Ghash, why did you decide to pluck me from my little swim?"

Ghash tossed one of the scrolls one-handed to Hades. The god caught it and inspected it. He ran his fingers over it and double read the words painted on the woven reeds. There was a small tremble that ran through his blue-gray body.

"Papyrus?"

"It makes a better piece of paper than a font," Gnash replied.

Hades ignored that comment and continued, "You want me to grant you the right to pull one person back from the dead. And one person you choose, no questions asked. Right?"

"That is correct."

"But I do have a question: Why?"

Ghash's answer was to toss the second scroll to the Lord of the Dead. Hades caught it lazily. This one was of thick parchment and was sealed with an intricate wax seal. It was a symbol he did fully understand, and there was a power to this scroll. One that sent a jolt through his very being. He did not want to open it.

"There's your answer. What? You thought I would demand this of you because I saved you," Ghash laughed. "Nah. A novice would rely on that reasoning to get what they wanted. No, the situation is much more grave."

Almost compelled to do so by the power in his hand, Hades set aside the first scroll and broke the seal of the second. He began to read.

Pain and Panic watched their god's face change. It began as incredulous and contemptuous. Then it became curious.

Then enthralled.

Shocked.

Fearful.

"What have you handed me," he whispered to the Tscheapwhetzar.

"You read it just fine," Ghash said, relaxed. "There is a war underway. A massive war. One that we have never seen in our lifetimes. One that only the ancient parts of the Realms remember. You can feel their Truth, can't you."

Hades dropped the scroll and spat, "And you think this will sway me?"

"Yes, just as surely as after you were beaten there was a rousing musical number from a Gospel choir. And I know you will not only grant my request, but you will pass that message along to your siblings upstairs."

The four of them just stood there for a long, quiet, awkward moment. Pain finally took another slurp from his drink.

"Fine! You can have your stupid request,' Hades bellowed.

There was flash of blue flames on the papyrus scroll. Ghash happily snatched it from Hades' hand and inspected the singed signature. He gave the god a nod of approval.

"I'll be expecting you all soon. There's a lot to be done," he said.

Ghash snapped his fingers, and a hole was opened in the air beside him. He stepped through it and vanished from sight. Pain and Panic dropped their drinks, spilling their content on the floor. The sudden disappearance caught them off guard. They then looked over to Hades, who smoldered on his throne.

After a long moment, he looked up at them and said, "Prepare my chariot. I have a very uncomfortable date with my brother…"

The two monsters scampered off quickly, leaving Hades alone.

What a terrible day it had been… But…

This news, this would slap whatever smirk was on Zeus' face. The scroll that sat at his feet would make everything from the underworld to Mount Olympus to shake.

And that brought a smile to Hades' lips as darkness deepened around him.