I rushed my hair into a quick bun and shoved on my Academy gear. It was time for extra training. I'd lost my touch over the past few weeks- probably from all the worrying. But the old Lilly was back. And nothing was going to stop me from reaching the top of my year. It had been four days since the encounter with Cato. I knew this because I now had four bouquets of flowers lying in my room with some soppy apology note attached them. For the tough guy he portrayed himself as, he really was awful when it came to things like this.
As I jogged to the Academy my mind couldn't help but wander back to four nights ago. There had been venom in Cato's eyes that I had never seen before. Even when we had had arguments before he'd never gotten that angry. He'd never hurt me. This was a side I'd never seen. A side I would be happy never seeing again. Just like his idiotic face. I mean who did he think he was?
I reached the Academy angry enough to have killed all 23 tributes myself within ten seconds. This was going to be one hell of a training session. I picked up the knives. The dummies at least 30feet away. One by one my pretend Cato's were stabbed in the chest, the face and the neck.
"That'll show you!" I murmured to myself
"I hope that's not my face you're imaging" came a voice from behind me
I spun round knife still in hand, ready for whatever attack was about to come. That is when I realised who it was. My grip tightened round the knife.
"Can we talk? You know, without the pointy weapons" he asked, raising his hands as if to surrender.
"I don't know. I kind of like my neck without handprint marks around it" I spat, my voice full of hate
"That's not fair. I've apologised. I admitted things got out of hand. I was just…. Stressed" he said looking down at the ground.
He looked so different. Like a little boy apologising to his mum for stealing a sweet before dinner. He looked weak.
"And I don't recall accepting the apology. Now if you don't mind" I said placing the knife down and heading towards the changing room. He grabbed my wrist and turned me to face him. A slight expression of fear came over me. To the unknowing eye it would have appeared like nothing. But he knew me too well. He could spot a change in my face no matter how short a period the expression had been there for.
"No. No Lilly. Oh Lilly. Please don't be scared of me. Please Lilly. You know me. I'd never hurt you. Oh, what have I done" he whimpered, his face resembling that of a wounded animal. Or tribute.
"That's normally what happens when you nearly kill someone, Cato. They become scared of you. And I don't recall you having a problem with hurting me the other night. However you're right. I'd like to think I knew. You have a minute to tell me why I shouldn't drive a knife through your sorry ass…. Shoot" I snarled.
Part of me was screaming at me to get out. This boy was a cold hearted killer, he'd took joy in killing in the hunger games. He'd to joy in hurting me the other night. The other half of me saw something that I'd never saw in the boy that I claimed to know so well. Something that looked a lot like pain and suffering.
"I won't lay a finger on you again, Lilly. I don't know what came over me. It's like my body is out of the game. But my mind, my minds still in it. I get angry and I forget that I can't just kill off someone who annoys me or pisses me off at that moment. I've forgotten that out here, in reality, I'm not fighting for survival. I forget that you're not my enemy. That you're the one who helped me train. Who stood by me, even when you disagreed with what I was doing. You're the one that watched me kill person after person and still came to stand by me after it." Cato strained, not breaking eye contact.
I looked at this broken man. A man who at one point I believed nothing could break. I could feel the lump growing in my throat. This was the Cato that Panem had to see. They had to see the consequences of Capitols games. That even the toughest end up broken or damaged. I longed to just hug him. To just hold him close. For some reason I couldn't move towards him. I don't know how but he must have been reading my mind: next thing I knew I was engulfed in his arms. And that's when I knew he'd broke. The first whimper that escaped him was quite and stifled, but after that he just allowed them to flow out. Each one growing louder and louder.
"Shh. Shh. Sweetie, it's ok. I'm here. I'm here for you" I soothed, stroking his head. All the anger, all the hurt I had felt towards him vanished from my body. I just wanted him to feel safe. I wanted him to know that he wasn't alone: that I would protect him.