Hey everyone!

So sorry that this took so long to update. I will be on a more regular schedule soon, hopefully. These are short chapters right now but I hope to make them longer with time. I suppose you could say this is something of a semi-drabble fic.

Anyways, no lesson today, just a little more plot set-up. I hope you all enjoy!

Bastard-sensei

Sakura spent the time in which she had been exiled from her classroom to study for the biology test Asuma-sensei would be giving them next period. She did her best not to think about the disastrous class that had been Madara-sensei's and focused wholly on preparing for her test.

When the door opened and Madara strode outside after class, Sakura couldn't help but flinch. Was he going to yell at her? Say some scathing remark to shame her a little bit more—the icing on the cake of humiliation?

He paused and Sakura looked up at him warily, but all he did was smirk as they made eye contact and then went on his merry way to the next class he was to terrorize.

After that little encounter, Sakura's day continued on with agonizing slowness, the fact that she had the wonderful joy of seeing Bastard-sensei, as she had dubbed him, after class. Did he even have an office? He was only a substitute teacher, after all.

Sakura felt she did as well as could be expected on her biology test—which meant, of course, that she got an A-plus—and then plodded through the rest of the day. When the bell rang that signified the end of the school day, Sakura stood up with all the grace of a samurai about to commit seppuku and gathered her things.

Sasuke was watching her silently with a pitying look in his eyes. Naruto, however, seemed somehow invigorated about her plight.

"You really showed him, Sakura-chan!" he said loudly, raising a fist in the air as if to rally his comrades-in-misery around him.

"And now he's really going to show me," Sakura replied dully, stuffing her enormous calculus textbook into her backpack and wedging it in next to her equally enormous English, Japanese, biology, health, and physics textbooks.

Sasuke stood, having finished stowing away the massive assortment of educational literature. Sighing, he placed his hand on Sakura's shoulders and looked at her solemnly.

"Good luck. If you don't come to class tomorrow, rest assured that I know the most likely places Madara might hide your body and you'll at least get a proper burial."

Sakura glared at him. "Yes. I'm very reassured," she said dryly.

Naruto didn't seem convinced, though. "Oh, come on, teme, don't make promises you can't keep. For all we know he'll dismember her first. You sure you know all the places he could hide the various limbs and-?"

"THANKS GUYS," Sakura interjected loudly, pointedly lugging her backpack over her shoulder. Unfortunately, she underestimated the weight of her bag and stumbled backwards a little as it settled on her back.

"Oh, come on, we're just joking," Naruto told her with a cheesy smile, which was probably meant to be comforting but only reminded Sakura that her blond friend was an eternal optimist and she probably was going to be dismembered.

"I'm not," Sasuke muttered as he followed Sakura's lead out the door of the classroom.

Sasuke and Naruto left for the room where detention was held while Sakura was left to her fate of tracking down Bastard-sensei's office dubiously. After asking Inuzuka Hana, who was a TA for class 1-D, she was sent up three flights of stairs to the top floor and then continued to wander aimlessly before she finally found a door that had the last name "Uchiha" in bold letters off to the side.

Hesitantly, she knocked on the door.

She was slightly surprised that Bastard-sensei actually did have an office. When she heard a muffled voice call for her to enter, Sakura flinched and opened the door tentatively, peeking her head in.

Okay, maybe office was too strong of a word.

It was more like a dungeon. The lighting was unsurprisingly dim and there were no windows. Madara sat at his desk with his fingers forming a steeple under his chin, his dark eyes roving over what appeared to be a thick packet of school policies.

Upon hearing the door open, he glanced up at her and then a sadistic smirk quirked his lips. "Ah, Haruno-san. Come in."

Swallowing hard, Sakura inched her way into the room and then flinched as the door swung shut ominously behind her.

She stood in the doorway, paralyzed, until Madara motioned for her to sit in the chair across from his desk. She did so, and as her book bag dropped to the ground, the loud thwack of the 30 lbs. monstrosity landing made her nearly jump back out of her seat and high tail it out of the room.

After a few minutes of a terrifying, one-sided staring contest where Sakura focused on Bastard-sensei's tight button-down shirt—hot damn those were some abs, why did he have to be such an asshole?—and he inspected her as if looking for something specific, Madara cleared his throat and picked up the school policy packet with his thumb and his index finger. He dangled it in front of her and Sakura eyes averted from his chest to the page that was open for her to see.

Shit. He had been reading the disciplinary actions page. Sweet Jesus, what had she done to deserve this?

"Since you were so late," Bastard-sensei said calmly, "I took the time to review your school's policies. It seems there are many ways to properly discipline a student, and some of them are quite…open to interpretation, unfortunately for you."

Sakura gulped.

"For example," he turned the packet to face him and read, "'23.4 – If a student disobeys a direct order from his or her teacher, disciplinary action may be taken appropriate to the situation.' Rather vague, wouldn't you say?"

Sakura wasn't sure if this was an actual question or merely rhetorical, so she nodded weakly in compromise.

"However, I am a fair man." Sakura almost barked out a laugh, but fear of brutal dismemberment and death kept her quiet. "So, a question: if you were in my position, what measures would you take to ensure respect from your students?"

Not be a dick, was Sakura's immediate answer, but she rather thought that such a statement wouldn't go over well. Instead, she replied, "I would show my students the respect that I wanted them to show me." There. That was fairly diplomatic, in her opinion.

Bastard-sensei wasn't satisfied, however. "And if they failed to show the respect that you so generously showed them?"

"I…I suppose I would give them d-detention, or…" please don't dismember me "make them do extra credit work?" It came out as more of a question than a statement.

"Hm. Extra credit work, you say?"

Sakura nodded fervently.

He seemed to think this over for a moment before his eyes hardened and glinted in a way that made Sakura pretty damn sure this wasn't going to go over well.

"Very well. Instead of detention, you will spend the remainder of my time here assisting me with menial tasks before and after school and during lunch."

He was eliminating her detention? How fantastic! She sighed in relief before the rest of his statement caught up to her.

"Wait, what?"

Madara rolled his eyes in irritation. "Essentially, you will become my TA without any of the benefits and you will not be teaching in class. This will continue until I am relieved of duty here."

Sakura's mouth hung open quite unattractively. This was-this was-

"This is slavery!" she blurted out angrily.

He didn't deign that with a response, but his satisfaction with her reaction was clear. "Perhaps with your next teacher you will be more respectful, hm?"

She could only sit there, stunned, as the horror of her situation sank in.

Madara was done, it seemed. "That will be all. I expect to see you here tomorrow at 6am sharp."

Numbly, Sakura nodded, stood, and hefted her backpack over her shoulder. She began to make her way out the door.

"Don't be late," he reminded her as the door swung shut behind her. Sakura ignored him, although she knew she wouldn't be late.

Bastard-sensei, indeed.

So, I'm still taking requests for things you want all Fanfiction writers to be reminded of. So far we only have the Oxford comma requested, so please people, more requests! And, as always, please review!

Ja ne!