A/N: This is one absolute monster of a chapter, enjoy :)
Elsa spent time thinking over everything about Rapunzel and Anna. In fact, she spent almost two weeks mulling over her happiness. It was quite a troublesome equation on its own, with multitudes of variables and growing even more complex when she tried to toss Rapunzel into the mix.
Eventually, a well-worn Elsa puffed out a breath and had to admit that she was vexed. There was no way she could solve it through pure theory. Trial an error was the only plausible solution to this mess. Pins and needles prickling her abdomen, Elsa pulled out her phone. She had to see Rapunzel again.
She had actually waited so long that Anna and Hans had gone out several more times and were now "official". Maybe that's what really put Elsa over the fence, but either way, her balance had deviated. She hovered her hand over Rapunzel's name. Butterflies didn't even begin to describe what she was feeling in that moment. She would have equated the feeling more to a hatching nest of spiders rather than a tribe of innocuous butterflies. Pinching her nerves with an exhale, Elsa hit dial.
It was ringing.
Wait, what time is it? Should I be calling her now? Her mind was trying to find a plea to hang up.
Another ring.
Soon, Elsa began to relax. Maybe Rapunzel wouldn't answer and she wouldn't have to do this now. Yes, that would be a load off her chest. Then I could call her again when I'm feeling braver. Elsa loathed to let it keep ringing.
But then, the buzzes stopped. Elsa's breath hitched in her throat. Rapunzel had answered.
"Hey, Elsa!"
The blue eyed girl's words were congested. "Hi, um, Rapunzel."
"So uh, what's up?"
Elsa felt discombobulated. Her heart rate was in flux, her stomach tightened, and her precious air turned solid within her lungs. What should I say? Do I just ask her out again or do I just talk? She was bested by the situation. "Hi." What!?
The voice that volleyed back sounded rather amused. "You already said that, Elsa."
The platinum blonde wanted to strangle herself. Why was this so difficult? It was just Rapunzel. If just asking for a second date with her was this hard, how preposterous was the idea that Elsa could ever admit her more-than-sisterly love to Anna?
"I know, I- I, um..."
"You..." Rapunzel let her voice teasingly trail off. She sounded like a cat who had finally cornered a mouse.
Elsa felt like that mouse. All in one breath with celerity, before she could properly process her utterance, she ejected "I was just calling to see if you wanted to go on another date."
There was a really uncomfortable silence. Elsa felt like she was going to vomit.
In the eleventh hour of Elsa's visceral suffering, a very Anna-esque squeak came through the speaker. "Yes, I'd love to!"
The younger woman breathed in the succulent, cool air of relief and let it sweep away the remnants of dusty anxiety within. Elated with the tickle of success, she began to feel a little more confident in the discussion. "Great!"
"You know, it's been a while, I was beginning to think that you changed your mind or something." At the end of the observation was an apprehensive excuse for a laugh trying to diffuse the meekness of Rapunzel's voice.
Elsa felt a pang of regret. "I know, I- I'm sorry, I just had to th-think."
Ever warm in the heart, Rapunzel assured "It's okay. I'm- I'm really glad you decided to call."
With a blush seeping into her cheeks like flowing lava, Elsa smiled. For her part, she was still unsure of how this would turn out. Her predicament still left her ambivalent. For this reason, she opted to push past that part of the conversation. "So, uh, how does- how does tomorrow sound?"
"Tomorrow," Rapunzel playfully mused aloud, "sounds perfect."
A bird of joy flew from Elsa's stomach into her heart. "Okay, I'll- I'll see you then." She hung up with what was probably rude timing, but it was also just about time to breathe once more. She looked around her room. She had a couple of hours before Anna got back. Classes were over, but Anna was off somewhere with Hans. I'll get started on my schoolwork then tell her that Rapunzel is coming over tomorrow.
Elsa rubbed her temple and opened up her computer. All this back and forth was giving her a headache.
When Anna did get home, Elsa wasn't exactly sure how to broach the subject. They greeted with their usual hug, and, as expected, Anna was quick to ask how her sister's day was. Elsa decided that that was as good a time as any to bring up her call with Rapunzel.
The platinum blonde hugged her arms across her stomach. It felt very weird to prepare to tell this to Anna. "My day was good, I, um, I called Rapunzel."
"Oh, you did," she teased. "Is it for the reason I'm thinking? I hope it's for the reason I'm thinking."
Ever so quietly, the elder sister rebutted. "It w-was to invite her b-back over."
"For a date?"
Elsa nodded, unable to meet the cheery teal eyes before her. It felt like, in a way, she was securing her future away from Anna. She immediately began to doubt her decision and even thought about calling Rapunzel back and recanting her offer.
A giddy squawk interrupted her thoughts. Anna bounced in place and crushed her sister in a bear hug that would quite possibly strangle an actual bear. "Oh, Elsa, that's great! I'm so excited! When is it?"
"T-tomorrow."
"Ooh, that's soon, anxious to see her, eh?"
Elsa blushed. She supposed she was. After all, she wasn't entirely sure whether or not her heart was beating currently. Then again, that was for a plethora of reasons. "Yeah, I guess."
"What if Hans came over, too? It could be a double date, it'd be so much fun!"
That was not a good idea, no, no way. Elsa did not want to meet her sister's boyfriend. In the back of her mind there was still a faint voice of denial that could survive so long as she didn't actually put a face to Hans. This would eradicate her hopes. But Anna sounds go excited by the idea... "I- I don't think-"
"Please, Elsa?" Good lord Anna's begging was too much.
Unable to breathe past the bump in her neck, Elsa stomached her own desires. "Okay."
"Yay!" Anna grabbed Elsa's hands in her own and began to flail them around like limp noodles. "This'll be so much fun! I can't wait!"
Elsa forced a smile. This was going to be an absolute nightmare. "Yeah, it'll be g-great."
That night, as Elsa lay there trying to drift into dream land, her simplest solution to her pickle lollygagged into her mind. If I tell Anna how I feel about her, she'll answer it for me. She'll either feel the same way or not, there aren't any other options. Elsa suddenly wished she hadn't eaten any dinner, as the food was threatening to make a comeback. She wanted so much to just tell her sister, but that was the most frightening thing in her life. That was worse than the outside, it made the terror of the entire world look like a little, happy bumblebee. She gulped, heart clenched in her chest. Maybe I can do it. She knew it was a stupidly unrealistic hope, but maybe she actually could do it.
Elsa was utterly restless the next day. She spent her time without Anna obsessing over how she should act, what she should wear, and how she was going to cope with having Rapunzel, Anna, and Hans in the same room.
At least trying on different dresses was fun. Well, as close to fun as she could have. She'd try something on, test out multiple different shades of make up with it, decide it wasn't right, and repeat. Sometimes, she'd get caught up re-organizing her closet, arranging her dresses once by color, then by price, then by how recently she got them, and so on and so forth. Each time her closet was newly arranged, she'd smile slightly thinking about the hopeless mess that lay within Anna's closet. Anything to keep her mind off things was good. For how slow of a day it was, it was quite a hectic day.
Feeling the onset of fatigue from her long day of decisions, Elsa tried a crimson dress on. It was simple but elegant. The entire gown was one piece of fabric, with a ribbon of the same color reaching around the waist, tied off so the dress would hug Elsa's torso and display her salacious curves. In contrast to her pallor, the article was quite intense. It flushed her face and chest with scarlet and would be very successful in disguising any impending blushes that Elsa would have throughout the night. In addition, the refracted light sparkled on her hair, gleaming with fire mirrored in the glint of her eye.
It was truly amazing what a dress could do. Elsa went from appearing scared and hesitant to bold and demanding of attention. The air of confidence leaking into her surroundings was almost palpable at first glance.
She stared herself down in the mirror. That illusion wasn't at all what she felt, though. She wasn't confident, she wasn't poised, or bold, or commanding, or anything like that. Elsa wasn't any of those things unless Anna was with her, and Anna was with someone else. Anna was with Hans, and Elsa was petrified of meeting the man.
Slumping her shoulders in defeat, the lonely woman undressed and racked her dress. She fought a lump in her throat as her heart bled the color of her denied garment. Who am I kidding? I can't make that kind of impression, not alone. Elsa was frightened at the core of her being. She couldn't even stand near an open door, let alone take the stage in front of a stranger. That would be putting the eyes of the world on her, and she wasn't prepared to face those demons. She couldn't just best her illness like that, that's not how it worked. It was one thing to dress like that in front of Anna, but this was different. She didn't know Hans, she didn't like him, and she was too cowardly to face him.
Biting back the melancholy and anxiety itching at her chest, Elsa picked up a dress of a similar style but sporting one major difference: the color was nowhere near as riveting. Instead, it was a gentle pink. Soft on the eyes, not caring for attention but still masking any sort of blush she'd obtain. She put on the dress and sniffled. I guess this one is okay, too.
She sat down and stared blankly at some power point slides on her bed to pass the time until her sister came home. I hope Anna likes the dress. That would make Elsa happy with her choice.
At long last, Anna pulled into the driveway. Elsa stood, collected herself, and went to meet her sister downstairs. Heart aloof with anticipation, she waited near the door with a grin on her face and a slightly nervous tick in her stomach. She was almost certain Anna would approve of her dress, but she was also pathetically desperate for that approval.
The door opened and Elsa stood straighter. "Hi, Anna," she said before the red head was even in view.
Anna stepped in as she cheerfully shot back "Hey, Elsa." She stopped when she saw her sister. There was a moment of silence, a pause in the air.
Elsa held her breath while teal eyes appraised her. Anna sure was taking her sweet time dragging her eyes up her sister's figure. "So," Elsa began timidly, "what do you think?"
"Oh, you look absolutely adorable! Is that what you're wearing tonight? Because I think it's great."
Blushing yet emboldened by her love's statement, Elsa smiled and gave a little twirl in the dress, the hem of the skirt reaching up and fluttering in the air. "Yeah. Do you really think it looks that good?"
"Yes! And it twirls so nicely," Anna gushed.
That was what Elsa needed. She felt magnitudes better, letting Anna's compliment sit on her skin like a comforter. "Thank you. What are you gonna wear?"
"You know, I've been trying to decide all day, but now that I know you're wearing that, I think I know." The younger girl sounded thrilled.
Elsa couldn't help herself, her lips turned sharply up. "So, what is it?"
Anna summoned a lopsided grin. "That's a surprise. I'll go put it on because I know you're dying to know." She turned to hike the stairs.
With a little giggle, Elsa said "okay."
Anna bit her lip and turned around. She winked at her sister. "No peaking." Then, she had vanished.
Elsa froze like a deer in headlights. Her heart did a back flip in her chest and ended up stunning her lungs. She felt electrified, neediness once again crowding her womanhood. Her memory of when they dressed up flashed into her mind, Anna shamelessly discarding her shirt, Elsa catching a peek at her bra. Was that what her sister had just referenced? It felt flirtatious. Elsa knew that it was most likely not in reference to that, but she couldn't help but feel like it had some sort of sexual undertone.
She sucked on her lower lip and briefly considered making a private excursion to her room. It had, after all, been a while since she pleasured herself. While the thought of doing such a thing while Anna was most likely half naked in the next room over exhilarated Elsa, she had to admit that she probably shouldn't. After all, Anna won't take very long to change. She huffed, already having to push away some rather carnal fantasies.
In no time, Anna was back. She practically jumped all the way down the stairs. She wore a white dress that was similar in style to Elsa's. Her signature pig tails stood out like a spotlight against the plain yet refined dress. Her freckles stood proud on her face, dancing on lightly dimpled cheeks as she smiled over at her sister. She spun, just like Elsa had done earlier, the dress riding up to just above her knees. "Nice, huh? We'll be so cute together!"
Elsa just stood, pupils dilated and heart grasping at straws in the wake of her sister. Butterflies sprouted from her gut. Anna managed to make anything look absolutely ravishing. "You look dazzling, Anna."
The bubbly girl zipped over to her sister, putting her arm around a thin waist. Elsa immediately melted into the contact, the fingers on her side eliciting goosebumps around her entire body as they gently brushed the fabric of her dress. Anna waved her hand in front of her as she spoke, as if to showcase an audience to Elsa. "No, we look dazzling."
Flames licking her cheeks, Elsa looked down shyly. "Mostly you," she mumbled, not entirely intending Anna to hear.
"Oh, please, Elsa. You're at least half as gorgeous as me," Anna teased.
Elsa chuckled. "I'll take that as quite a compliment."
Anna beamed, transmitting some of her healthy self confidence as she stared at her sister. "Good, it was meant as one."
Elsa blushed and just grinned. After a moment, Anna spoke again, a little more tentatively this time. "Speaking of beautiful-"
A bad feeling swirled in Elsa's gut. She didn't know where this was going, but she was almost sure that Anna would tease her about Rapunzel or something like that. She prepared herself to over heat and braced for impact.
"-you should put your hair down again."
Instantly, the platinum blonde protectively grabbed her braid. She squeezed it, needing the familiar comfort. Hans was coming over tonight, a strange man that was stealing the girl that had won over Elsa's heart. Ripping her away, making memories of the past into bittersweet nothings. She needed some familiarity, nothing was how it was before. Rapunzel was coming over for a second date, Anna was inviting her boyfriend. Elsa simply couldn't handle it all without some kind of rock to keep her grounded. Usually, that rock was Anna, but tonight, her hair would be her last anchor. "N-no, I'd- I'd rather n-not."
A reassuring hand rested on Elsa's shoulder. "Are you sure? I know Rapunzel likes it down."
Stroking her own satin hair, the elder sister mumbled "I- I need it in the braid." She weekly looked up to meet aquamarine eyes.
Anna bit her lip, clearly assessing the situation and trying to worm her way into Elsa's head. Her brows were knitted together as she focused on putting herself in Elsa's shoes to see if she should push the point more. Finally, she spoke. "I understand."
Elsa felt a tide of emotion within her chest. Of course Anna understands, she always understands.
With a little, loving smile the younger girl reached for her sister's braid. Elsa reluctantly let go and trusted Anna. Dainty fingers played with the thick, soft hair, twirling it and petting it like a kitten. "Besides," she said in an honest, low voice, "I like your braid."
Elsa just blushed and focused on the ground, letting Anna continue on with her hair. She felt so close to her sister in that moment, and all she desired was to be even closer. She let love flow freely from her heart as she tightly hugged Anna, sighing happily into the embrace. Her bright sunshine's hand began to subtly rub her back.
Soon enough, it was time to get ready. Elsa put some home made lasagna in the oven then touched up her eye shadow and lipstick. As the seconds passed by, Elsa's gut coiled farther, the spring-like tension stressing her entire body. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath in front of the mirror. You can do this, conceal, don't feel. Hans is just a person. A person who Anna is with. A person who is stealing your happiness from you. Shut eyes clammed up, forcing themselves closed even farther. Elsa stifled a noise of despair and opened her eyes once again. Conceal.
Rapunzel texted. She'd be there in about half an hour. Elsa took the lasagna out of the oven to cool. Anna told her that Hans would be there in about fifteen minutes. Elsa's heart rate picked up, nervousness shrouding her sight.
Sure enough, just over a quarter of an hour later, the doorbell rang. The platinum blonde froze in place, dumbstruck by sheer terror. He was there. She was going to meet Hans, to put a face to her hatred. She didn't want to do that.
Anna squeezed Elsa's hand and squeaked in jubilation. "He's here!" She skipped over to the door. Elsa took a step back, towards the stairwell, ready to bolt and hide in her room like the scared little puppy she was. Before she opened the door, the red head turned to her sister and smiled reassuringly. "It's okay, Elsa, I know you'll get along."
Somehow, Elsa doubted that. Nonetheless, she gulped and nodded, unable to bring herself to utter any sort of verbal phrase. As the door opened, her world started spinning and she had to focus to not fall over in a dizzy daze. She barely held back vomit from a quite restless stomach and twitched towards her escape route.
In stepped a man who was sharply dressed in a gray suit, navy blue button down shirt, and navy blue slacks. From this angle, Elsa could confirm that he had stupid sideburns. She couldn't quite make out the details of his face from here, unable to decide if his eyes were gray and lifeless, pale green, or some weird shade of brown. His face was soft and appeared kind, and when he spoke, his voice was just as gentle. "Hey, you." It was directed at Anna, who had stepped right in to him.
Jealousy pumped through Elsa's veins like a drug and she narrowed her eyes. Don't you dare touch Anna. Unfortunately, her younger sister smiled endearingly and leaned in, bringing her face dangerously close to Hans's. "Hey," she said sweetly.
Elsa didn't want to watch. She was millimeters from running away and crying in her bed. Using the weapon of his lips, Hans shot her in the heart with a blunted arrow. It made her ache all over. She gripped a railing for support as her lungs failed her and eyes sizzled with tears.
Anna and her boyfriend's lips touched and the older of the sisters just about screamed. But she didn't. She remained mute.
Hans and Anna parted. The kiss was definitely not chaste. Thank God that's over. "Hans, this is Elsa, Elsa, Hans."
The man smiled and stepped towards the platinum blonde. His eyes betrayed brief approval of her look. She tried to hide the mental stink eye she was giving him. "I've heard so much about you, it's a pleasure to finally meet you." Hans stuck out his hand.
For some reason, Elsa grimaced at how friendly his voice was, it was almost sickly sweet. She glared at the outstretched hand. The air was too thick, it wasn't letting her talk or giving her a second to catch her breath. She felt like she was suffocating, exactly like when she used her goggles. Her breaths became haphazard.
A generous hand started Elsa when it patted her reassuringly on her back. She looked over to see her sister, eyes amicable and supportive. "It's okay, Elsa."
Such a simple token markedly influenced the platinum blonde's heart. Having the insurance of Anna behind her, Elsa regained autonomy over her faculties. She shakily said "s-sorry." She took the hand. Hans had a strong grip. "N-nice to meet you, t-too." Now that was an outright lie.
"No worries."
Elsa just looked over to Anna. She didn't want to make conversation with Hans. Her sister was smiling radiantly at... Hans. Elsa sighed, finding herself desperately wishing that Rapunzel would arrive now.
But her date did not simply materialize. Elsa found herself stuck between a rock and a hard place, helpless but to watch in utter tribulation as Hans flaunted the fact that he had stolen away her precious Anna.
"So, Elsa, Anna tells me you're taking courses online?"
The platinum blonde simply nodded. Anna filled in more gaps for her. "She's super smart. She's a math major and you should see her when she's doing math, it's like she just already knows the stuff, she barely has to study for it." Her sister sounded... proud, and Elsa found herself blushing. She hoped that her dress was doing its job of hiding that.
In just a mumble she rebutted "that's not true, I study."
Hans grinned. "A math major? What do you plan on doing out in the real world with your degree?"
Elsa wasn't sure if she was picking it up correctly, but there appeared to be some snarkyness in the man's tone. She immediately felt intensely self-conscious. She didn't know if Anna had told Hans about her condition, but she assumed she did, making it all the more likely that he had taken an intentional jab at her by adding "the real world" to his possibly sardonic comment. She looked at Anna, unsure of how to respond.
Like a saving grace, the red head's voice sang like a bird. "Who knows? I bet she can do all kinds of things with a math degree! I'm sure plenty of places would jump at the opportunity to hire someone who's as smart as Elsa." She shot her older sister a simple but supportive smile. Elsa just grinned at the floor, cheeks glowing hot again.
"Yes, I suppose you're right. Far be it from me, a simple business major, to relegate such an erudite student." Hans' tenor conveyed traces of acid. Elsa supposed that he was using less common words in an attempt to uplift himself in a mildly desperate display of trying to regain attention.
She looked to Anna, reading the younger girl's expression. Anna was biting her lip, clearly considering the situation. It was apparent from her face that she knew Hans was trying to let his Alpha male out in order to keep the atmosphere focused on him. That's something she should consider about him. Unwilling to feed the conflict, Elsa tried to disengage. "I have to use the restroom." She sent Anna an apologetic look.
Anna smiled gently back, distinctly catching Elsa's drift. The red head clearly didn't know on which side of the field to stand: by her sister or by her boyfriend, so she very cautiously remained neutral.
In front of the mirror, Elsa let loose the glare she wanted so much to unleash upon Hans. She breathed rapidly, trying to catch up on all the suffocating she had been doing and did her best to pull herself together. Rapunzel will be here soon. The thought was an odd mix of delight and nausea. She took a deep breath and returned to find Anna and Hans on the couch smooching.
Elsa forced back some quite persuasive tears and sat on the other end of the couch silently. Anna pulled away when she noticed her sister, face flushed and giggling nervously, and the platinum blonde felt something die inside of herself.
After just a few minutes of what Elsa considered to be very bland, very painful conversing (or rather, on her part just nodding her head and holding her tongue mostly) who's only redeeming factors were the bright, jocular comments Anna peppered it with to smooth the mood, the doorbell rang. Not wanting to have any sort of time alone next to Hans, Elsa popped up fast as lightning. "I'll get it." She didn't even look back at her sister's expression as she shuffled away.
"Elsa-" she ignored it, though she did hear Hans say something after her sister tried to speak up.
And there it was. The door knob. Elsa's breaths became irregular and her airway tightened. She shut her eyes tight as clams and tried to rally her impotent nerves, but to no avail. Her facial muscles pulled themselves every which way, leaving her a mess of a human being as she trembled before the portal to Rapunzel. She thought about calling for Anna to help, but for some reason decided she didn't want to. Hating herself, she feebly declared "c-come in."
The door opened and Rapunzel came in. She was smiling brightly, dressed in a shamrock green dress that did a phenomenal job at bringing out her sprightly eyes. Her upper chest, lightly dusted with freckles as it was, was proudly on display. She wore subtle, pink lipstick, a kind of skewed compliment to her sharp green attire, but it worked quite well. All in all, she looked quite cute in her outfit with her delightful smile. Elsa fancied the dress's color. Green is Anna's favorite color. She couldn't help but catch the contagious grin in front of her.
"Ooh, you look pretty, Elsa!"
The younger woman blushed wildly and clutched her hands together. Rapunzel's arrival was a like a fresh Fall breeze, blowing away the sickly, stagnant air in Elsa's lungs. She looked at the ground demurely. "Thank you." She then found the courage to look back up. "You look nice in that dress."
The new arrival smiled and let her cheeks paint red, a tiny, airy hum escaping her throat. She stepped forward and gave Elsa a light hug.
Elsa readily returned the embrace, letting the cordiality placate her coveting heart.
She found herself comfortable in Rapunzel's arms, but it still didn't compare to how she swooned within Anna's.
"So, uh, is Hans here yet?"
Elsa grimaced at the name. She nodded. "They're on the couch."
"Then let's get this party started, shall we?"
Trying to look excited, the platinum blonde led her date to her sister.
"Rapunzel!" Anna jumped up, Hans slowly rising behind her. The older blonde and the youngest girl latched into a tight hug. It was obviously no more than a friendly action, but Elsa couldn't help the little pin prick in her heart.
"Ooh, you and Elsa are matching, that's adorable!"
Anna teleported to her sister and grabbed her hand. Elsa felt the familiar prickle of blood rushing to her face and Anna's touch grow a fuzzy feeling in her stomach like a blooming flower. "Why thank you," Anna curtsied playfully. "we try our best." She grinned at Elsa.
The platinum blonde's heart skipped a beat and she smiled.
With a mock-royalty accent, the long haired woman giggled. "Well you certainly do succeed."
Hans stepped forward. "It's nice to see you again, Rapunzel."
"Likewise, how are you, Hans?"
He looked happily at Anna. "I've been great."
Elsa narrowed her eyes at him. He had no right to look at her Anna like that. A dangerous snake was perched around her heart, ready to bite any second. She analyzed Rapunzel and Hans' interaction.
Beaming at the couple, Rapunzel chirped "good!"
She, unfortunately, seemed quite genuine. Elsa frowned. Am I the only one that doesn't like Hans?
They all decided that it was just about time to eat, so Elsa went and prepared the table. She placed the lasagna in the middle, allowing for each participant to take their own portions. She waited for Anna to sit and immediately sat directly across from her and next to Rapunzel, putting Hans as geographically far away as possible. Though, he was still in sight, so that wasn't good.
Anna took the largest portion, making Elsa giggle inside. Of course, she always eats so much. Rapunzel generously sprinkled parmesan on her piece and Hans took a sizable slice and left it naked. Elsa took her own food but wasn't sure she'd be able to eat. Her stomach was far too busy tying knots to hold anything at the moment. Anna and Hans were sitting right next to each other. Out of spite or a feeling of rejection, Elsa scooted a little closer to her date.
She looked at her sister. Anna took a bite that was far too large, getting some sauce on her lips and trying her darnedest to chew the massive ball of food in her mouth. She let out a satisfied "mmm," as she did so. Elsa smiled at the sound of contentment, happy that Anna liked her cuisine.
From next to her, Rapunzel grunted "Mm, mm, this is good. You never fail to impress, Elsa."
Elsa hid her blush behind her shoulders. "Thank you."
"Yes, this is marvelous." Hans sounded genuine for a moment. "Anna's told me how talented you are with cooking and you certainly live up to it. You must have a lot of practice." He was looking at her with his soft features.
The platinum blonde hadn't started eating, but now her food didn't look so good, anyway. She clenched her jaw, irrationally angry. She kept things civil for Anna's sake. "Thank you. Yes, I have plenty of practice." Elsa's shoulders sunk as she mused about it. It's one of the many results of who I am... A gentle hand perched itself on her shoulder, causing her to jump in her seat. She glanced over to see Rapunzel looking comfortingly at her, a tiny curve tugging at her lips. Elsa silently thanked her. If nothing else, the sentiment's very existence bolstered her, but the fact that it was Rapunzel helped, too.
By force of habit, she glanced at her younger sister next. Anna gave her a reassuring smile and a look that she could read like an open book. It was like magic, Elsa was being comforted from across the table. The most miraculous part was that it actually helped a whole lot. Anna always helped.
The meal went on, Elsa ate slower than a snail pulling a tortoise and sat in silent agony as she watched the apple of her eye flirting with the bane of her existence. Anna would giggle, lean into Hans, peck him on the cheek, and that wasn't even the worst of it. The nadir for Elsa thus far was when Hans forked some food, and with a sweet grin fed it to Anna. Anna had turned beet red and accepted the offering, returning the favor in kind. They both chuckled and, once they had finish chewing, shared a quick kiss on the lips.
This is Hell. Actually, it wasn't, because Elsa was sure she'd rather be burning in an eternal fire or forever thrown about in a terrible storm, suffering in the second circle of Dante's Inferno. How appropriate, she brooded, that the only circle I can recall is that of lust. Not that Elsa considered her feelings for Anna as simply lust, she knew they weren't. She was aware of just how far she had fallen for her sister, but there was a parallel. She had eyes only for her sister while trying to form this- this whatever it was with Rapunzel. That, as far as she was concerned, stuck her right in with the adulterers and lustful. Elsa looked at her date. She was beautiful and quirky, so why was this so difficult? Her heart felt like it was split in two, stuck between endemic desire and what she knew was right to do. Maybe I should let Anna and Hans be happy, I should give Rapunzel a chance.
Elsa didn't know what to do, her question still wasn't answered.
Dinner was over. Elsa quickly excused herself. "I'll put away the dishes." She circled around and collected all the plates like a waiter. When she got to Hans, he waved his hand, then collected his own plate and the tray of lasagna.
"Let me help you with that." He stood.
Elsa had to choke back fury. Her stomach sank and froze. She just wanted to get away from him. "No, th-that's okay-"
"I insist, it'd be quite rude of me to leave it all up to you."
Elsa frantically took stock of the room. Anna was beaming endearingly at her boyfriend and Rapunzel seemed to be on his side, too. With profound enmity, she relented. Even if being stuck with him away from Anna or Rapunzel was a chilling thought that made her gag, she couldn't very well refuse and cause a ruckus. That would upset Anna. "Fine."
The walk to the kitchen felt like a death march.
The platinum blonde tried to just throw the dishes in the sink and bolt, but was stopped. Not physically, just by words. "Wait, why don't we wash them a bit? I'd like the chance to speak to you. You know, just get to know my girlfriend's sister better. You're important to her."
It was quite an innocuous request. Elsa scowled openly and turned on the sink, making no effort to start conversation. It was silent for a couple minutes and she began to feel the pressure around her increase.
"So what do you like to do for fun?"
In a grumble, Elsa curtly retorted "read."
"I enjoy a good book myself on occasion."
Again, the room fell silent, save the muffled voices of Anna and Rapunzel in the other room.
"Not much of a talker are you?"
Scrubbing with considerable force in an attempt to dispel her anger, Elsa jabbed "no." She could feel eyes in the side of her head. They pierced her, they made her feel self-conscious and she wasn't even sure they were there. When there was no reply for a moment, the sensation became too intense and she glanced at Hans. He was looking at her, frowning slightly.
"Is that all you do? Read and cook? Surely there has to be something else?"
Something about the way he said that made Elsa's bones chill. She kept her attention off of it, so as to not appear so weak, and kept washing. She knew she didn't have the most eclectic life, but she liked to think it wasn't mundane.
Hans crossed his arms and leaned on the sink. "So this is Anna's sister." He said it with a more than healthy does of judgment, like he disapproved of who Elsa was. She kept the lump in her throat in check and tried to steady her breathing. Every fiber of her being was telling her to get out of that room, telling her to hide and not face this fear. But she stayed, again, for her sister.
"You're the one with- oh, what was that called again?"
Elsa stopped dead along with her heart. She lost the fork she was cleaning and it clattered loudly into the sink, but the noise didn't even register. She tried to breathe but couldn't. She felt like a scared sheep facing off a pack of wolves. She was about to yell for Anna, when Hans did first. "Everything's okay, I just dropped a dish, don't worry!" He turned back to Elsa expectantly. She met his eyes now, her vision blurry with the beginnings of tears. He knows what he's doing.
When she didn't respond, he figuratively shoved her. "I can never remember the word, Anna's told me. Can you help me?"
Elsa gulped. It was painful. "I- I-"
"Come on, Elsa, it can't be that hard to say."
Air became to run from her as the platinum blonde started hyperventilating. She was trapped with this strange, rude, prying, sadistic stranger without her sister or Rapunzel. She couldn't do this, she couldn't even run, her legs were rubber. "P-please s-s-stop."
"It's just a word," he quipped.
But it wasn't just a word, not for Elsa. It was much more than that, it was her life. Everything she'd done for the past nearly five years revolved centrally around what was now being deprecated by this glorified neanderthal. Unable to keep her spiteful anger at bay, Elsa spat "it's not just a word." Her own voice was seething at the edges, tremulous as it was. "It's my life, I have to live with it every day."
"And yet," Hans mused to her, "you still can't even say it."
Elsa was about to explode. She was going to flatten the entire house, char any life forms in the vicinity and leave the charcoal remains to sizzle away. She could feel the boiling in her brain and the scalding steam pumping through her veins. Stop, he's doing this on purpose. Don't let him win, don't let him egg you on. Stay. Calm. Closing her eyes and taking several, long, purposeful breaths, Elsa managed her rage. She opened her eyes and glared daggers into him. "You don't know me."
Alas, he was made of some sort of metal, because the sharpened look appeared not to affect him. Instead, he smiled smugly. "Sure I do. You're the one who's so afraid of a word that you can't leave the house."
Despite him being a completely new development in her life, that struck a chord within Elsa. A tempestuous sensation pitted her stomach and let sorrow and self-loathing fill the hole. Against her best efforts, a tear rolled down an alabaster cheek and Elsa began to choke on the swab in her throat. It stung so much because, deep down, she thought he might be right. The only one who didn't think so was Anna.
The thought of her sister gave Elsa a burst of bravery as Hans turned to walk away with a victorious grin. She knew that if she used it now, he'd win, that anything more from her would play into his game of- well, of whatever he was playing. He had the upper hand, she was the pawn and he was the guiding force.
She knew all that, and she still couldn't help herself. She still had to defend her pride, what little of it she had. "Ag-agora- agoraphobic," she stuttered, nearly crying because God that was her life and laying it on the line like that was hard. "I- I'm agoraphob-bic." She sniffled. Why? Why couldn't I just let him walk away?
With an entirely too grandiloquent and childish smirk, Hans uttered "yes, yes you are," and took his leave.
And as Elsa was left standing there, utterly defeated, she couldn't help but wonder just what the fuck his problem was.
Elsa took a few moments to collect the disheveled remains of herself and slowly went to meet the rest of the group in the living room. As she drew nearer, her heart pounded harder, hitting her eardrums like a punch each time. Her stomach wretched the small amount of food it had and she pushed against the shadow of her fear.
When she arrived in the living room, the TV was on and their Wii was turned on for the first time in ages. Elsa had bought it to try and find something to keep her moving a little bit, but quickly began to neglect the machine. It had just been gathering dust for quite some time. She preferred reading to playing pretend sports.
"Elsa," Anna squealed, "we're gonna play bowling."
Rapunzel nodded vigorously in agreement, and Elsa couldn't bring herself to look at Hans. Either way, both her sister and date were excited for this, so she decided that it would be a pleasant evening activity. She forced a smile and joined them, sitting between Anna and Rapunzel on the couch.
They all chose their characters and began the game. Hans was up first and everyone watched as he took the stage. He flashed a confident grin and walked forward, impersonating a bowler with a little flick of his wrist at the end of his roll. The ball looked like it was going to marry the gutter, but curved away at the last second, knocking all ten pins down.
The room was met with loud cheering coming from Anna, which over powered Rapunzel's eager "nice!"
The red head jumped up, arms out and lunged headstrong into her boyfriend, collapsing in his arms and pressing her cheek to his chest in congratulations. Elsa couldn't look. Her heart continued bleeding for Anna and she wanted the night to be over.
Next, Elsa was up. She tentatively stood, feeling the power of brown, judging eyes on her back. She closed her eyes and tried her best to ignore it. When that didn't work, she glanced back at Anna, who gave her an ear-to-ear smile and double thumbs up. "You've got this, Elsa!"
"Knock 'em all dead!" Rapunzel chimed.
With their sentiments at heart, the platinum blonde focused on the screen. She walked forward and swung her arm, releasing the virtual bowling ball down the lane. It made a beeline for the side of the pin pyramid, knocking over just a few of its targets. Her ears burned in embarrassment and she tried to hide it.
Despite her less than worthy throw, she gained applause. She took another unsuccessful roll and finally it was time to sit back down. As Anna got up for her own turn, she smiled and patted her sister on the back. "Good job, Elsa." Her eyes glinted knowingly.
The look was so familiar that Elsa could never mistake it. Anna wasn't congratulating her on the throw, she was commending her for stepping a little outside of her comfort zone and sitting through this stressful double date. "Thank you," Elsa said to the ground, and took her seat.
Rapunzel beamed at her and gently interlaced their fingers. Elsa's heart skipped a beat and she looked over. Beautiful green eyes were trained adoringly on her, yet displayed a certain degree of nervousness along with such pink cheeks.
Elsa smiled and blushed back, gripping her date's hand. The green eyed girl was clearly uplifted by the simple action, as all the apprehension swimming in her eyes ran for the hills. Her freckles were almost masked by her blush, and her slightly dimpled cheeks were pinched with such a thrilled smile that it was contagious. Elsa found herself savoring the skin on skin contact and let her heart rise in her chest.
The game carried on. When Anna and Hans were both on the couch, she'd be cozied up to him, but while he was rolling, Anna would scoot closer to Elsa and lean lightly on her shoulder. Despite not leaning into or hugging Rapunzel at all, Elsa maintained the hand-holding when she could and tried to focus on that.
Every time Hans would go, Anna would display affection towards him, foaming the jealousy in Elsa's mouth each time. When this happened, she'd subconsciously tighten her grip on her date's hand, as if she was retaliating in some way. This sometimes earned an upturned brow from the older blonde or a quick inquiry as to whether she's okay or not.
And despite how bewildering and complex the tug of war was in her heart and how stumped she was at her situation, Elsa found pleasantry in not interacting with Hans. That is, until about three quarters of the way through the game.
Hans remarked in a casual manner. "Elsa, you aren't showing very much affection to your girlfriend there."
And just like that, she couldn't think, breathe, talk, or move. Her body went into rigor and inured to stone. No one spoke for what felt like several minutes, letting the air stagnate and congeal around her. It was hot in that room, like too hot, like she was very suddenly sweating all over. Elsa swallowed around the thunder of her heart and her clotted neck.
Not even Anna knew what to say.
Thankfully, someone finally mixed the air. "We're not- we- uh, eheh-"
"Hans," Anna chided in the background, "you know she's reserved."
Elsa was still stiff as a statue, mortified. She finally found the motor skills to release Rapunzel's hands and hug herself. It brought her right back to her question from earlier. What are me and Rapunzel doing? She had hoped that the answer would come naturally, present itself like the North Star, but it didn't. She looked at Rapunzel, worried about what she'd see.
What she saw only worried her more: inquiry. Rapunzel didn't know either, and she was looking to Elsa for an answer, an answer Elsa didn't have.
The platinum blonde just wanted to sink into the couch, to hide and not be found. Maybe if she hid long enough, everyone would forget everything. Maybe things would go back to normal, Hans would be gone, Rapunzel wouldn't be her date, and Anna would find her. She'd have a grin on her face because nothing would be complicated any more.
She didn't have enough head space to pay attention to whether Hans sounded sarcastic or not. "I'm sorry, I thought you two were, you know, official."
Anna served as the hammer that would break the awkwardness. If such a thing was brittle, that is. Unfortunately, it seemed more like taffy and was there to stay. "Let's continue the game. I think I can beat you, Hans," she warned. She gave her sister a concerned look.
"Oh no no no, I've got this in the bag."
Anna's giggling was white noise. The rest of the game was intensely uncomfortable. Elsa couldn't find it in her to speak to, or even look at Rapunzel. Hans seemed unperturbed by his gaffe and Anna was very clearly trying to lighten up the atmosphere.
Finally, finally it was over. The game was ended, Hans won with his stupid smug, annoying little cocky face. Before anyone could do or say anything, Elsa ran off, completely done with this wearisome night. She was cognizant of her sister's voice saying something, but she ignored it. She just wanted to sit in her room and brood, maybe by morning she'd have a clearer head. She even made it to her bedroom door before a friendly hand captured hers. "Elsa, we need to talk."
The voice brought terror down her spine and locusts to her stomach. It was soft, caring, and intimidating. She didn't turn around as she froze in place, tears at the ready.
"Elsa, please," Rapunzel begged.
The platinum blonde nodded, still unable to face her foe. She opened the door to her room and walked in, leaving the portal wide behind her. Rapunzel sighed and followed, shutting them inside. Elsa sat on the bed. Rapunzel sat down next to her silently. Elsa scooted away, Rapunzel sighed again.
The ensuing silence actually hurt. Like, physically.
"I don't know what to say so I guess I'll just be direct, okay?"
Elsa nodded slowly. "O-okay."
"Elsa, what are we?"
That's the question, isn't it? Elsa thought about Anna. She was locked away in the cage of Hans, out of Elsa's reach. She couldn't have her. There was so much going on inside Elsa's head that she couldn't even pick out an emotion to feel. They would slip out of her grasp like soap before having any real impact on her. It was like being in a rainstorm with thunder, lightning, and wind, but never getting wet. Difficult as it was, she looked at Rapunzel. She was chewing her lip, an Anna quirk. "I- I don't know."
Rapunzel sounded like a child admitting to stealing from the cookie jar. "Do you want us to be something?"
Shrugging and tickled by a tear rolling down her face, the younger woman dejectedly stated "I d-don't kn-know." She was startled at just how broken and weak her own voice sounded.
The green eyed girl thought for a moment. "I'm confused, Elsa. You invited me back over explicitly for a date, and now you're saying you don't know if you want us. On one hand I feel like you like me, but on the other, I'm not so sure."
More hastily than she thought she could think, Elsa quipped "I like you." A simple, meaningful statement that gave her an intense case of vertigo when said.
Rapunzel's demeanor shifted drastically. She went from doubtful in her steps to inspecting a mystery as the response she received flushed her cheeks. Elsa heard a deep inhale and breath and she wished she could do the same. "So then what's the problem? I like you, Elsa, I really like you."
This made Elsa's ears burn right up into a crisp and nearly fall off. The words uplifted her spirit and tugged some air into her lungs. She smiled at the ground. But there was still the matter of what Rapunzel referred to as "the problem". The matter of Anna. "It's just," Elsa really didn't have many options here. Since her contact with people was extremely limited, if she said there's someone else, Rapunzel would literally have no one else to guess but Anna. She couldn't reveal that, could she? So, what did she tell her friend? Here was where the road forked, one way led to Rapunzel, the other offered a hope for Anna, but almost certain loneliness.
She was silent for too long, apparently, because a hand grabbed hers gently. Elsa started at the contact, but didn't fight it. "It's okay, I think I understand."
Oh no, does she know? She can't know, no way! The platinum blonde's stomach doubled over in pain at her increased blood pressure and she nearly screamed.
"It's your- your um, condition, isn't it?"
Normally, she would have felt anxious at the mention of her ailment, but Elsa was too relieved at the answer not being what she thought it might be to care. She breathed a much needed sigh. Rapunzel had given her the answer she needed, handed it over on a silver platter. All Elsa had to do was take it and lie with it. "Y-yes."
The hand on hers squeezed. "I understand this scares you, Elsa. But you're smart, you're braver than anyone else I know for just managing to survive every day-" the compliments began to tingle at the platinum blonde's cheeks, Rapunzel was bordering on fawning her. Elsa couldn't help the stupid little curve of her lips. "-and I think we are worth a shot."
Elsa gulped. She thought that she might have just figured out the answer to her problem, and it was so simple she felt like the village idiot for not uncovering it sooner. Anna wasn't hers, Anna belonged to Hans. Anna will never be mine. She couldn't have Anna, but she could have Anna-like, and that might just be enough. Barely able to speak, she said "okay."
The older woman squealed and hugged her now official girlfriend with a death grip, leaning purposefully in to her. "Oh, Elsa!" Elsa was so stunned by the sudden onset of such affection that she sat stark straight, a metal rod down her spine. Her eyes were wide.
Then, as quickly as it came, the touch left. Rapunzel sat with owl-eyes and a hanging jaw. "I'm sorry, was that too much too fast? I just- I just got excited and-"
As her girlfriend rambled apologetically, Elsa considered Anna and Hans. The way they kissed, the way they hugged all the time, and the copious amount of affection they showed each other. It made her head spin with jealousy and her eyes narrow in hatred. And maybe it there was misplaced reprisal in her actions, something deep down that wanted her sister to feel as jealous as she did, but Elsa fearlessly leaned forward, grabbing Rapunzel sternly by the shoulder and pressing their lips together.
There was a split second where there was no return, no volley of the action, but that subsided quickly as Rapunzel realized what was going on. A tender hand traced Elsa's jawline, sending a pleasant shudder and bumps all the way down her back and spiking between her legs. She reciprocated by cupping the back of Rapunzel's head in her hand. The lips on her own were soft and pleasant. Maybe more than pleasant, maybe wonderful, maybe incredible. They slid easily together, assertive but not controlling, teaching while not scolding. They tasted imprecisely of their dinner and Elsa found herself wanting more. The touch was electric and soothing, it stimulated her and made her want to collapse in a lifeless heap on the floor. She found herself wondering what Anna would feel like, what she'd taste like. If this was just a copy, what would the real thing be like?
Yes, Elsa sat there with Rapunzel, unaware of how long they kissed, uncaring of the passing time. She sat there and shared her very first kiss ever with Rapunzel, and she liked it.
A/N: Wait, hold your fire! If you kill me, you'll never see how this pans out :)
In case you're wondering, Hans isn't just an asshole to be an asshole. I mean, he is an asshole, but he's not doing it for no reason, he has a reason.
Chapter six will be out in 1 week, I hope you all come back :)