A/N: I know a lot of you don't like Elsa x Rapunzel, but just bear with me :)
As one more note before the chapter begins, I want to tell you that chapter 10 will be out in two weeks, not one. I have had more work to do than I expected, and the chapter is shaping to be longer than I anticipated as well. Thank you for your patience and continued readership, you all are awesome! :)
"Elsa," Rapunzel said, shifting in her spot. It was a Saturday evening, they were downstairs watching a movie, huddled together on the couch. Elsa was leaning in to her girlfriend, who had her arms around Elsa, hugging her from the side. It was comfortable, but Elsa would have preferred to stay in her room. Being downstairs had her on edge because of the obvious risk of seeing Anna, and because the house seemed so much more open than before. Nothing had physically changed, but Elsa's perception had, the area of the downstairs didn't sit well with her.
At that moment, though, her phobia was relatively tractable, because Anna was out with Hans, probably at dinner, and Rapunzel was there holding her. Staying out with Hans after class, Elsa had noticed, was now a daily routine for the strawberry blonde. If there was one thing Elsa could count on, it was that Anna wouldn't be home until late evening at least.
Elsa noticed that when Rapunzel said her name, she also went tense. This had the platinum blonde sitting up a little with her brows furrowed and her stomach behaving rather fastidiously. "Yes?"
Rapunzel's pupils dilated as she looked away from the television screen, the rich green irises thinning in favor of collecting adequate light. She was nibbling her lip and took a couple seconds to think about what she was about to say.
Right then, Elsa knew this wasn't going to be an enjoyable conversation.
"Well, Anna-" the platinum blonde's heart let out a superfluous amount of cries at the name, the seemingly moribund organ bringing the rest of her body down with it. "-Has been asking me about you."
Elsa was irresolute. In fact, she didn't even know what to think. The pain of days ago still felt like a freshly salted wound upon her body, and her lungs still struggled to obtain air at the mention or sight of her sister. She tried to hide her emotions, tried to be phlegmatic, but they showed through on her face and in her words. "W-what about me?"
It was clear by her expression that Rapunzel noticed. She clasped one of Elsa's hands in her own and very lightly continued. "She's been asking what's going on with you, if you're okay."
Ever since Elsa had caused her sister to leave the house with a slamming door behind her, they hadn't really been speaking. Tensions were high. Just being around Anna felt like stretching a rubber band to its limit and hoping it didn't snap and sting your hand. So, it seemed to Elsa that the younger girl didn't want anything to do with her.
But, the simple act of asking Rapunzel about Elsa meant that Anna still cared, and that was enough to run a tremor through Elsa's stomach and up to her lower lip. This subject was still too sensitive to prod, so the younger woman tried to perry. "I- I'm fine."
Rapunzel sighed. "You haven't talked to her, have you?"
Taking her hands from warm ones and using them to hug herself, the platinum blonde looked towards her maudlin heart. She was struggling to keep her breath regular. "No."
What the hand now on her shoulder lacked in force, it made up for in solicitude. "Why not," came the magnanimous voice.
After her introspection about her and Rapunzel the other night, Elsa knew why she felt the need to keep going in the conversation. Well, she could narrow it down to one of two reasons: she simply needed someone to be there for her, no matter who it was; or she thought that maybe being open with Rapunzel would magically make her fall in love. Unfortunately, Elsa didn't have the time to figure out which of those reasons were true as her facial muscles cramped and fought against each other. Her breaths were shallow, and her eyes shut so tightly that she saw dancing lights in her lids. "B-because I'm scared!"
"Elsa, there's nothing to be scared of."
"Yes, there is," Elsa insisted slightly crossly. Their placement in the house already had her on edge, and their topic of discussion certainly wasn't favorable.
Rapunzel's brows hung loosely over her eyes, her mouth in the tiniest frown. Her expression was so full of compassion, so laced in caring that just for a fleeting moment it seemed to cross the line into loving. Elsa's plate was already full, she had no room for such a thought, so she snubbed it, though it didn't work all that well. "I know you're scared Elsa, I understand, I really do. That's how I know that if you talk to Anna about this, she'll understand, too. You don't have to be scared of her."
Even if that was true, it didn't solve the lying. It didn't ensure that Elsa wouldn't be lied to again, so even though it was a good point and a thoughtful statement, it didn't really help. "I- I don't want to be lied to again."
"I know," Rapunzel said in a melancholy voice. She then pulled Elsa closer, so their bodies were once again snuggled together in a way Elsa wished hers and Anna's would be. "Just promise me that you'll talk to her when you're ready."
Elsa pressed her tearful face against the present bosom and, gritting her teeth in response to the mental agony she was sitting through, nodded her head. "I p-promise." If I'm ever ready.
The retaliation was a simple nod and "okay," gently ushered from the older woman's lips. Elsa clung to her girlfriend, digging in and burrowing like a groundhog, attempting to mollify her mind. But as she did so, her thoughts drifted, and she found herself discontented with the embrace she was receiving. It wasn't working. She missed her dear anodyne, her rock, her heart's holder. She longed to be hugging Anna, the Anna she knew.
But that Anna was gone, she had lied, and Elsa wondered if she'd ever look at her sister the same again.
All Elsa had to do was get over what was really stopping her from confronting Anna: her phobia. Then maybe it could all go back to normal.
Elsa and Rapunzel were still on the couch watching the movie when Anna got back home. Watching was a strong word for what the platinum blonde was doing, it was more like staring blankly at the screen, trying to pacify her sick stomach and tired mind. Elsa was back in her girlfriend's arms, though she didn't find them as cozy as she used to. It was like a switch was flicked in her mind after her night of realization a few days ago. She was trying, but she just couldn't find the same kind of enjoyment in Rapunzel's company anymore. Though she searched, all she found was the friendship they had shared for so many years, none of that exhilarating initial romance. Maybe, if she tried hard enough, she could turn that switch back around.
As tense as she already was, she tensed more when the doorknob sounded. The green eyed girl picked up on this and rubbed Elsa's arm. "It's okay, Elsa."
Just accepting the sentiment, the younger of the two tried not to look at the door, she didn't want to make the mistake of eye contact right then. Her efforts, however, were fruitless, because she couldn't just ignore the one she besot. So she looked.
What initially grabbed her attention was the dress. It was rich green, and wasn't one Elsa recognized, which meant Anna bought it without telling her sister, and although it wasn't the most risqué, it certainty wasn't as modest as her others. It showcased more skin than Elsa wanted. It was cut a little low, and used its design to aggrandize her cleavage. Needless to say, this peppered Elsa's being with desire, honing her hungry vision in on the area, and she could feel herself heating and dampening.
The skirt didn't help, either. It stopped about halfway down Anna's legs, leaving miles of bare skin to her ankles and teasing the imagination with endless possibilities. Elsa's mouth was drying like a desert, and she had to swallow a little as her breaths shallowed.
The next thing she noticed was makeup. More than her now sexy sister normally wore. This, of course, wasn't necessarily a bad thing, but the way it was applied irked Elsa. It was covering Anna's freckles, they were barely visible. It didn't make sense, those little spots were adorable, they were part of her sister's beauty, and it wasn't like Anna had ever shown signs of disliking her cute little sun-spots. In the past, Anna had even expressed her enjoyment of Elsa's miniscule palate of freckles.
Anna's lips glowered red, not as rich of a shade as Elsa used, but definitely more vivid and at least as demanding of assessment. It lionized Anna's naturally smooth lips, balancing her face like a modest garnish on a master chef's dish.
When blue eyes roamed to copper hair, it all made sense. It was in the pony tail once again, and Elsa recalled why that was. It was because of Hans. Anna was altering her appearance for Hans. Elsa's eyes narrowed, her internal invectives towards the brown haired man lit like a fuse towards dynamite. Hans was changing her Anna, he wasn't allowed to do that!
At last, Elsa met Anna's eyes. They were looking right at her, a little surprised, and only glanced away for a moment when Rapunzel said "Ooh, Anna, you look nice, you had a big date night, huh?"
In that moment, Anna's eyes spoke a resentful soliloquy that would have troubled Rapunzel had she been paying as much attention as Elsa. But just an instant later, it was over, and Anna was wearing what Elsa could only assume was a masterful ersatz grin. Though the expression and response were meant for the eldest, all attention was on the most scared. "Thanks, Rapunzel. Hans and I decided that it'd been a while since our last nice date, so we splurged."
Elsa didn't really hear her girlfriend's next inquiry, because she was too busy having a heart attack under the pressure of her sister's gaze, but it was something along the lines of asking where they went. It looked, for a hair of time, like Anna was going to say something to Elsa. It looked like she was worried. That was replaced with what could almost be described as hauteur, though, and her focus shifted. "I'm sorry, what was that, Rapunzel?"
The older woman was chewing her lip, assessing her options and the invisible, strained tethers connecting the siblings. She definitely saw the exchange of looks, even if she may not have completely understood what had been communicated, she knew enough to know it wasn't good. Why'd she have to be so percipient? Rapunzel had the senses of an eagle and intuition of a mother. Elsa wished she didn't. "Actually, I think I should be going now."
Elsa's eyes went wide. No no no no, Rapunzel, don't leave!
Looking pleased with herself, the strawberry blonde agreed. "Yes, I think that would be best."
Was that underhanded? Because it sounded so to Elsa. It was hidden in the delivery, quite unlike Anna, but still so meticulously prepared. But then, jealousy can make people do strange things. So can manipulative degenerates, like Hans. Elsa didn't know if she was furious or terrified, all she knew was that she was shaking, her stomach hurt, and she couldn't breathe.
She scarcely even noticed she was being hugged until a soft voice fluttered into her ears. The air expelled from Rapunzel's mouth pushed Elsa's hair in a ticklish, warm breeze. "Talk to her," she begged, cautiously but assertively, rubbing the younger of the two's arm.
Then, she was being kissed on the lips. She already only had half a mind to work with, and it didn't think to reciprocate, so Elsa just let it happen. She was sweating like a pig, but felt so cold that it made her shiver.
"Call me if you need to, okay?"
This time, Elsa was given enough time to process with her taxed brain and managed a nod. Shortly thereafter, Rapunzel was gone, her trail followed by Anna's watchful glare.
Then, she was alone with her sister. It was the perfect opportunity, a gift handed to her by unstinting, godly hands. Now was her chance, if she could just face her fears now, if she could just tell Anna what's wrong, if she could simply talk to her sister, it could all end that night.
But those were some big ifs, and if meant nothing in the real world. In reality, Elsa's vocal chords were being pinched by her bilious affliction, which was bolstered by Anna's lie. She felt like she was locked in a cage with a hungry lion, terror goading the hand around her neck, and the slightly sweet smell of Anna's perfume making its way into her mind and juxtaposing her fear. In reality, Elsa was unable to say a word in the few seconds she had before Anna spoke.
Notice of Elsa's domestic conflict was certainly taken by the strawberry blonde, but she did nothing about it. "Go to bed, Elsa." She walked away, up the stairs after her curt sounding bid of night time wishes. There was no gentle emotion inserted into the words, they were there, stark and naked, nothing more than their very definitions.
So now Elsa was alone, still unable to utter a word, but able to think. She thought about Anna's rather aboveboard eyes and what they told her minutes prior. Specifically what the surprise was about. It took more than a few minutes of consideration, because what in the world was there to be startled by? After all, it wasn't unexpected for Rapunzel to be over on a weekend, nor was it abnormal for Elsa to watch a movie. There was, however, one thing that Elsa could think of to cause the reaction: she was downstairs.
The only explanation for Anna's brief surprise was that she had noticed that Elsa was spending more time in her room lately. She knew that Elsa was hesitant to even go to the living room or the kitchen. She was aware of Elsa's recrudescence since a few days ago.
But if Elsa's location caught her off guard, didn't that mean she didn't expect Elsa to improve again? It pointed to Anna giving up, and that stung. That made the platinum blonde sob softly in her place, that made her lose confidence in herself. It made her feel like her life was a waste.
It also, however, made her happy that she hadn't said a word, because it reinforced how much Anna had been lying. If she didn't even believe in Elsa, it meant any support she had given was a fib, and that rapidly reminded Elsa of why she was angry with the red head. Her heart struggled to obey the hormones in her body, trying to stay afloat in the scalding blood.
But then again, maybe this wasn't even Anna at all. Maybe this was the Anna that Hans had created, if he was molding her. Maybe she didn't mean it, maybe she did believe in Elsa. But that was a slim chance, and Elsa knew it.
Either way, Elsa wanted to believe that, because if her sister really didn't think anything of her, how could Elsa think anything of herself? Yes, she clung to that idea, because it was all that could keep her going.
Not much really changed by that Monday in that Elsa still hid in her room for as long as possible, and she was left to sulk alone until the sun met its final hours for the day. She made breakfast for and woke her sister up for class that morning, in that order, so as to avoid Anna. They didn't speak to each other, they didn't even see each other. Funny thing, love is, making those it possesses stalwartly meet each others' needs, no matter the circumstances.
Rapunzel, of course, called Elsa throughout the day, asking several times about whether Elsa had spoken to her sister yet. The younger of the couple, of course, wanted to do everything she could to stiff the subject, so each time it was brought up, she changed their conversation. This most likely gave Rapunzel an answer, anyway.
Now, as dusk settled down upon the forbidden lands outside of Elsa's window in preparation for night to fall smoothly after, the platinum blonde lay on her bed re-running the previous night in her head.
Yes, she was anxious about it. It made her feel as well as a sea-sick landlubber fairing a stormy ocean, but that's not what she was thinking about.
She was unable to get the image of her sister's cleavage and toned legs out of her head. It was so much skin. How she tried to force the thoughts out to do something else, to not cave to her more carnal desires. She told herself she shouldn't as her hand cupped a familiar breast. She tried to throw the images out while maundering digits slithered to her womanhood, which was jump-started and just screamingto be touched.
She was supposed to be angry with Anna, not aroused! She was betrayed and left alone, and she told herself she didn't want to do anything. How could she, in such a peevish, offended, heartbroken state, find so much immediate pleasure in the mental facsimile of the one who inflicted such calamity upon her mind? She didn't want to do this, there was no way.
Oh, but by God she did. And all the frustration she felt, all the sour feelings meddling around her mind flushed through her body like a wave of power, igniting the flare between her legs in the form of pent up sexual frustration. It was amazing how well such negative emotions preformed when put to such use. Only during her high of arousal and satisfaction they elucidated her byzantine situation. Just for a few moments, they allowed her to enjoy herself, to forget everything.
So yes, Elsa was furious at Anna still, but that just made her personal endeavor all the more satisfying and heated. That helped bring the scorch to her chest, the arch in her back, the lightning down her spine. It stole away her normal breath, replacing it with quick pants and active vocal chords. After all, who's to say you can't take pleasure in someone, even if you're splenetic?
As Elsa pleasured herself, not a single thought of Rapunzel wandered into her mind.
Elsa lay there, panting, and she felt a peculiar feeling welling withing her stomach, one she hadn't felt in several days. Not really, anyway. Hunger. Her anxiety had vanquished such a sensation for the most part. She still ate, but only because she knew she had to. Now, however, she was momentarily relaxed and was able to feel the growling in her stomach as bubbles traversed her empty belly.
She thought for a moment. Anna was out with Hans, and certainly wouldn't be back for a little while, so Elsa should have plenty of time to go down and make a quick meal. She'd be back in her room before her sister got back.
At least, that's what her plan was. But life had a way of wiggling from the confining grip of planned actions and throwing a curve ball at the maker. The platinum blonde lost time as she pondered her actions and their implications on her and Rapunzel's relationship. She hadn't even thought about her girlfriend. Not a single image, nothing. Even then, the fever that came with the images of Anna she had conjured finagled its way between her knees.
And that's why Elsa decided that she'd do something special for Rapunzel. She'd give the relationship its swan song, and maybe from the melody would rise something real. Maybe, with one last, big push, Elsa could force herself to fall in love with Rapunzel. She hoped she could, because, if not, it was time to stop leading her dear friend on.
Luckily for the white-blond woman, Halloween was right around the corner, coming up at the end of that very week. I'll use that, I'll make her a nice dinner and dessert, I'll dress up extra nice, I can decorate, I can make it as much like a real date as possible. She felt tugging at her heart strings as the phrase "real date" floated on through her mind. I may be stuck in these walls, but I will make the most of it, for Rapunzel!
She just hoped that Anna would be out, otherwise, she wouldn't have the bravery to leave her own room.
While Elsa crept into the kitchen she was on high alert, and had to focus on one thing at a time, otherwise her phobia would get the best of her and she knew she'd run back up stairs. It was bigger, fiercer, and gnarlier than before, making Elsa feel so small in a world of giants. She had to be quick, so actually cooking was out.
With the tension in her throat high, she made a quick peanut butter and jelly sandwich and was just about done when the door swung open, spilling giggles and laughter into the house. Elsa stopped dead, transforming into a statue, butter knife still in hand as her breaths became as absent as a stone's.
It was Anna's laughter and a man's voice. Hans. Elsa tried to think of what to do, but her mind was plodding. She was about to vanish to her room as quietly as possible, about to run scared like a child, but she was an instant too slow.
"Elsa," came the red head's surprised voice. She was wearing a similar coat of makeup and dress as before, but this time with stockings underneath, presumably for warmth. After all, it was late October and the chill of mother nature was befalling the area. The cool, transient breeze wafted from the door into the kitchen and caressed the platinum blonde's shoulders, leaving goosebumps where it once was.
Elsa didn't really know what to do, so after several failed attempts, she murmured "h-hi."
Hans interjected in a jovial yet caustic tone, reacting to his girlfriend's shock. "Ah yes, what a surprise, Elsa's home!" He then grinned at Anna, clearly happy about his shank's placement.
Yeah, that hurt a little, but Elsa knew he was doing it on purpose, so she tried not to let it get to her. When Anna just looked at Hans, biting her lip, and definitely understanding his insinuation, however, is when Elsa really felt the acerbic kick in her chest. She had expected Anna to come to her aid. Nothing more than a light slap on the arm and a harsh look would have been necessary, just a small gesture to let Elsa know she had her back. But there was none. Even if Anna didn't exactly look happy about what her boyfriend was saying, it hurt all the same. Elsa knew she was on her own for this. Had things really gotten that bad between them?
She couldn't do this, no way. So she turned and headed for the safety of her room, no longer hungry.
"What's the matter? You don't wanna hang out with us?"
Elsa stopped when the deep voice battered her ears. It had a certain kind of masterfully laid down innocence to it, like it was friendly. But Elsa knew what she needed to know about Hans, he wasn't being nice, he had an agenda, whatever it may be, and she wasn't going to fall for his play. Without turning around, she remarked "I'm tired." After all, it was best to keep things civil, right? If the road between her and Anna was this littered with potholes, she didn't want to add any more. So she let the anger within her simmer in her skull, ready to be let out when she was in private.
"Ah, come on," Hans begged, "join us for dinner, it'll give us time to catch up. It's been a while since we last chatted."
His last few words were more pointed than the rest, and Elsa knew exactly what he was referring to. The kitchen, on the night of the double date. Elsa bristled and turned slowly. Her breath was harder to control as flames began licking her insides. The memory was piquant and it made her shake with a mixture of anger and terror, summoning what she knew where the beginnings of a shortly-incubated panic attack. Hans's eyes conveyed that he very well new what he was doing, and his smug face betrayed his confidence. He knew Elsa wouldn't say anything. It was disorienting, seeing such malicious self-assurance.
Anna, obviously clueless of the incident that the two were discussing right in front of her, was furrowing her brows at her sister, seeing the clenched fists, the gritted teeth, and hearing the deepened breaths.
"I'd rather not," Elsa practically growled.
"Aw, but we had so much fun last time!"
Okay, that was it, to Hell with civility. Elsa burst a gasket, spewing the painful steam through her mouth and making her words corrosive. "No, it wasn't fun! I hated every moment I had to spend in the same room as you, Hans!" And that God dammed smirk, it was so irritating! Elsa didn't even notice that the vein on her forehead was inflated like a balloon. She was too busy catching herself on a hand railing, huffing and puffing concrete in and out of her chest and steadying her wobbling knees.
She did, however, descry his satisfied smile and victorious cross of the arms. It was almost in slow motion that she saw and heard the next few moments play out. She came to the dreadful realization just a split second too late. Hans was purposefully egging her on, he was making her look like the asshole in front of Anna.
And it worked. The younger sister vitriolically demanded "Elsa, what's gotten in to you!?" She grabbed her significant other's arm in her own, latching to him protectively. "Hans didn't do anything to you!" Elsa's heart dropped faster than it ever had before. She'd just been played, and she felt the cement wall of emotions slam into her and leave her ears ringing. It left her heart without the energy to pump and her stomach without the will to turn. It evacuated all air from her lungs and made sure she had no drive to breathe. It hurt, it ached exactly how Elsa imagined being shot through the heart would feel.
Hans gestured for Anna to cool off with his hand, sending a wry, vile, snake-like grin to the platinum blonde as he did. "It's fine, it's fine. I forgive her."
Then, Anna looked up at him lovingly with a half smile. Lovingly, not adoringly, and Elsa had it. Her wrath once again manifested itself vocally and forced a high-pitched squeal from sealed lips. She faintly heard her sister apologizing for her actions as she stormed back up into her room and locked the door. In that moment, she wished she was a child again, just so she was able to throw a proper tantrum. After all, Hans had won again and there was nothing she could do about it! The feeling of having no power in the entire situation aggravated her very being. That coupled with the complete and utter heartache of Anna siding with Hans suddenly forced extremely loud sobs out of Elsa's mouth. She slammed her eyes shut and tried to mute her cries by biting a pillow, dampening the comforting item with her tears and saliva. But now her panic attack was in full swing, disseminating to every inch of her body like a septic disease.
Nearly twenty minutes of empty breaths and anxiety that was so powerful it crippled her heart later, Elsa was able to roll over and mope, her entire body hurting. She tried to sleep, but couldn't. Such a welcome escape wasn't within her power, so she stayed awake late into the night. Eventually, she decided that she at least had one more thing: Rapunzel. She was going to make the best dinner for Rapunzel, she was going to make herself fall in love, no matter how hard she had to throw herself at the woman.