It was 3 in the morning when i woke up. Screaming, crying, panicking. Damon had only just left mere seconds ago to get a drink from the kitchen when he heard me. I cried and screamed. I couldn't breathe through the tears that streamed down my face.

Damon burst through the door and pinned me down on the bed, in a feeble attempt to calm me down. He sat on my hips and held my hands above my head to stop me from attacking him. Visions of a large, muscular figure on top of me littered my blurred view, making me scream louder and cry harder. I squirmed visciously trying to escape his bruising grasp from my wrists. My legs kicked forcefully while my arms thrashed erratically causing them both to slip loose from the mans death hold. I scrambled away from the strong figure and headed towards to door, but before I could grasp onto the handle, an unexpected, heavy mass landed on top of me, knocking the air from my lungs and preventing me from reaching my target. Strong hands flipped me onto my back where I tightly shut my eyes. It was only at this point where I heard faint whispers calling my name;

"Elena baby its okay. Breathe Elena, im here baby. Thats it, thats it. Calm down now. Thats good."

I stopped fighting as soon as I recognised his voice. My heart rate dropped dramatically and I calmed quickly knowing Damon was with me. He was quick to pick me up and hold me to his bare chest. Slowly, he made his way to the bed with me curled up into his arms and sat with his legs over the side of the bed while i had my knees on either side of his. My arms reached around his neck and I held onto his hair while I snuggled my head into the crook of his warm neck. He held me close, shushing me every time i whimpered. I wasnt screaming anymore but tears still streamed down my red puffy face. My whole body was shaking and I felt sick. He stroked my long chestnut hair and moved it out of my face while i burrowed into his warm neck.

"Baby im so sorry."

I began to apologise for my outburst.

"Elena, you dont have to apologise for... whatever that was. I just want to make sure you're okay. Lets take a look at you"

I pulled away hesitantly. I sat as still as I could in hope that he would miss the fact that I was still shaking.

"You're shaking a lot. Are you cold?"

Shit.

"No"

The word barely left my lips before i started bawling again.

"Hey, hey. No come on dont cry baby. You're perfectly safe here with me."

I took a few deep breaths soaking in Damon's last sentence. He held me to his chest while calming me down and giving me a chance to steady my breathing before calling my name.

"Elena?"

I looked at him with questioning eyes.

I know exactly what you're going to ask but please, please, please let me be wrong.

"Mmh?"

I mumbled, making sure he knew that I was listening.

"What are you so afraid of?"

Tears prickled my waterline as I begged them not to fall over and let him see. My eyes closed but to my misery, I felt one of the tears sliding down my still-wet cheek.

"Elena Gilbert, you know that you can tell my absolutely anything without being judged."

"I know."

I thought long and hard as to how I was going to respond to that haunting question. I finally settled on an appropriate answer.

"Honestly Damon, there's nothing wrong. I just got scared about having to face those feelings that I've kept locked away for months and I guess it got too much for me to handle.

"Okay. If you say that you're fine, then I believe you."

I could tell he didn't believe me but for some reason decided to end the conversation with a flirty smile.

Before he had the chance to ask anymore tear-jerking questions, I got up and quickly headed to the bathroom for a shower.

"Um, I think I'm gonna have a shower."

He nodded his head in allowance even though I had gotten used to making myself at home here. It came natural to me as i was at the boarding house almost as much as I was at my own flat.

Before he could say anything else to me, I had already shut the bathroom door.

Holy shit that was way too close for comfort. How the actual fuck am I suppose to tell a ruthless, bloodsucking vampire about... that night? God, just thinking about it makes my skin crawl and my stomach convulse.

I closed my eyes and shook the thought out of my head.

"Right. Enough of that, I need a shower." I stated out loud.

I slowly removed my black panties and shirt and hopped into the boiling shower. I closed my eyes and tried to clear my conscience.

I was in the shower no more than 10 minutes when i swore i heard the bathroom door open and close swiftly but i was extremely tired as it was half past three in the morning so I dismissed it as my imagination.

About 30 seconds later, a cold breeze hit the back of my legs. All the while i never opened my eyes. I felt a small kiss on the back of my neck and soft hands hug me from behind. I immediately twisted my body around and see Damon, naked, stood confidently in front of me. My breath got caught in my throat as I felt the crippling effects of PTSD wash over me.

"What are you doing in here"

I turned around and closed my eyes again to find comfort in the nothingness i saw.

"Just came to see how my precious baby is doing."

He wrapped his arms around my thin waist and dug his pelvis into mine. His bulge pressing into the dip at the bottom of my spine from the height difference. It's takes every ounce of willpower to keep myself standing.

"Damon..."

but before I could finish he began to speak again

"I know you have been through absolute hell lately and I want to take some of the pressure off."

He rested his chin on my shoulder and planted delicate kisses just below my jawline. My body froze and my heart rate skyrocketed. Butterflies fluttered violently, as if they wanted to escape. Jagged breaths came out in uneven pants, desperately trying to calm myself. Despite unsuccessful attempts, a soft whimper escaped my trembling lips.

You must've noticed my silent cry for help?

I thoughtbecause he released his grasp on me and shut off the water. He carefully stepped out the shower and held my hand to indicate he wanted me to follow him.

"Why don't we continue this is the bedroom."

In a dreadful instant, my stomach twisted in a tight knot and my mouth returned to the dry state it was in.

Lust filled his baby blue eyes as he picked me up and sped to his bed, leaving our clothes sprawled out on the bathroom floor.

He thew me down on my back and crawled on top, quickly connecting our lips vigorously. He had both his strong, muscular arms holding himself up next to my head while he kissed me passionately. In a moment of weakness, my hands impulsively reached up into his wet, tangled hair. It was utter perfection. This is fine, I thought, as long as he doesn't do anything other than this it will be okay, just stay like this. Please. The repositioned himself so he could balance on his left arm while the other slowly crept in between our hot bodies to reach my breast. He gently massaged it with his hand, making my nipple go hard. I instantly moaned at the contact. The ecstatic feeling was short lived, however, when something clicked and I was immediately taken back to reality to face my current situation but he was enjoying himself so much, I couldn't take it away from him.

Each movement of his hand made me wince and brought me closer to the brink of tears. I tried to hide it but I mustn't have been doing well enough because Damon pulled his arm out from between us and next to my head again where his eyes held me in a deep gaze "Hey hey hey, baby don't cry. If you're not comfortable just tell me"

His tone made it obvious that he knew the answer.

"No, no it's not that, it's.. I just.." i was scrambling over my words and trying to form a sentence seemed impossible. I quickly gave up with a deep sigh and broke away from his gaze as I felt my cheeks heat up and tears drop from my eyes.

"Elena, baby I don't ever want you to feel pressured into doing anything with me that you don't think you are ready for. Including this." Although I wasn't looking at him I could feel his eyes burning into mine.

"Im not ready." I stated bluntly. Even though I felt an instant shot of guilt from those three words, they were true.

"And that's okay. I just wish you would've told me."

I closed my eyes and nodded subtly.

Damon effortlessly lifted himself off of me after kissing me on the forehead and went to get us both some clothes. He sat on the end of the bed and dressed himself before moving down to face me. I grabbed a loose blanket and tried to cover myself with it before Damon grabbed it from my hands and moved it away.

"I know you said you aren't ready yet, but maybe we could work on your confidence of being indecent around me? If you aren't up for it just say alright?"

I knew he was desperate to have sex with me and I felt awful that I couldn't give him what he wanted so I decided to give it a go.

"I think that that's a good place to start." I meant what I said and stood by my word. I offered for us to watch a movie to dissipate some of the building tension that seemed to loom around us. I ended up with my head on his shirtless, perfectly chiseled torso while I lay in only Damon's oversized sleep shirt, wrapped in a blanket and his warm, safe embrace. As eager as I was to sleep with him, I much preferred cuddling to sex.