Chapter 14:

It was 7:34pm the last time I checked the time. Damon had spent all day paying close attention to my every move and waiting for me to try something. I spent the day flicking through the TV channels, hoping for something not Christmas related to watch, the closest thing being a continuous Harry Potter marathon and the news- I opted for the news. I was in and out of sleep the whole day so I wasn't too bothered about what was on the tv. I was not in the Christmas spirit, to put it lightly so you can imagine my reaction when Damon offered to take me out in search of the perfect Christmas tree. It was a sweet gesture intended to cheer me up a little, with everything going downhill lately. We had been wandering around a tree farm for about an hour, skimming through the rows and rows of trees in search for the perfect one.

"What about this one?"

Damon stood next to a broad Christmas tree, hope filling his eyes.

I strolled over to him and examined it. This was our first Christmas as an engaged couple and I wanted it be magical. Besides, I doubt it could be worse anyway.

"Hmmm, why don't we have another look around?"

He shook his head and smiled simultaneously.

"Fine. But it better be an extravagant tree that you come across, Ms Gilbert."

I walked around the farm, a darkness setting in just above the trees when a cold breeze blew through the thick branches and I erupted in shivers. Damon was quick to remove his coat and place it on my shoulders, my jaw chattering.

"Thanks."

I stood up on my toes and kissed his cheek before looking behind him and seeing the most exquisite tree. I grinned and whispered in his ear.

"I've found our tree."

He turned his head into the same direction as I turned mine and he wrapped his arms gently around my waist when he saw it.

"It's a little small... but it's perfect."

I stood on my tiptoes so I could reach my arms around his neck and I kissed him deeply.

I pulled away and planted a quick peck on his nose before pulling him towards the tree.

We bought the tree, loaded it up in the car and was on our way back to the boarding house when the song came on. Damon didn't notice it at first but I was quick to name it.

Ed Sheerans 'small bump' was playing on the radio. Damon never let me change the station or the volume whenever something came on so I had no idea how to turn it off. I didn't know what to do so I just sat there and tried to cover up my sobs.

I sat in silence for a while trying to block out the song before the radio was switched off abruptly, indicating that he had finally heard it. We sat in silence, Damon trying to get my attention without talking but I couldn't look at him without crying again.

"Elena-"

"Don't, Damon. I'm fine."

I sniffled and tried to dry my eyes and calm myself down. A heavy sob slipped out of my quivering lips, I felt the car slow down and stop on the side of the road. Refusing to look, I closed my eyes, counting to ten.

"Damon, I need to be able to get myself through this without you hovering over me all the time. I appreciate everything you do for me on such a deep level but I think that sometimes I need to work things out for myself. If I start relying on you for everything, I'll become this damsel in distress that can't do anything for herself. I'm not a helpless person but I'm just worried that, if there ever comes a time, that for whatever reason you aren't here to help me, I can get myself through it without being so self destructive and critical of everything I do."

He unbuckled his seat belt and took my face in his hands leaving me no choice but to look at him.

"I have seen how self destructive and critical you become of yourself when you dont have anyone to talk to and I refuse you watch you destroy yourself for something that you couldn't have prevented. It kills me to see you suffer and I hated being on the sidelines, unable to do anything, which is why I have devoted myself to being there for you 24/7. It is my choice, and I want nothing more than to see you get through this and if that means staying with you for the rest of your life then I am all in. I wouldn't have proposed to you if I didn't mean it Elena. I love you and I want nothing more than to spend forever with you."

I could see his eyes glaze over by the presence of tears, waiting for the right moment to fall over the edge. I listened to his words and knew he meant every single one of them. We sat there, speechless for a good two minutes just admiring each other.

"What did I ever do to deserve you, Salvatore?"

He opened his mouth to speak but shut it abruptly and crashed his lips onto mine. He moaned under his breath and tangled his hands in my chocolate brown locks, pulling me closer. His raven black hair so soft and shiny in my hands and I pulled him in to close the gap between us. I felt one of his hands leave my hair and trail down my waist before disappearing. Before I knew what was happening, the seat fell back and I was met with the shimmering baby blue orbs that he possessed. Damon hovered over me, his strong arms on either side of my head. I shivered, either from the seductive stare from Damon or the bitter winter breeze that whisked about just outside the window - I couldn't distinguish between the two. He broke the kiss and stroked my cheeks intimately.

"Why don't we go back to the boarding house and decorate the tree, huh?"

I smiled up at him and kissed his temple. A simple nod was all it took to have him back in his seat. He held out his hand and as he was pulling me up, he let the seat come back up too. He started up the engine and pulled out of the lay-by, cranking up the heat full blast.

The tree was stood up in the corner of the living room, the decorations in a box waiting patiently to fulfil their annual destiny.

After much debate, Damon had placed the tree where I thought it looked best and I rushed to the kitchen for a mug of hot chocolate. I was surprised he didn't come with me, continuing on with his decision to keep me on room arrest but I accepted it nonetheless and continued with my task. I turned the kettle on and opened the cupboard to the mugs before shouting to him in the living room.

"Do you want a cup of hot chocolate or are you good with your bourbon?"

A moment of silence passed before he reverted to one of his cocky responses.

"Can't I have both?!"

I reached up on my tiptoes and grabbed two mugs, carefully placing them down and closing the door. Then I knelt down in front of the cupboard where all the pots and pans were kept. Right at the back was where Damon had his secret stash of bourbon and only I knew the location of it.

"I have to tell you something."

"What is it?"

He looked around the kitchen like he was about to tell me a secret.

"What is it Damon?"

I tried to hide the giggle but it's escape was inevitable.

"This is serious!"

He tried his best to act and sound all serious and proper but I could see straight through his act.

"Okay. If you look behind all these pots and pans, you will find my secret hidden bourbon stash."

I waited for him to add on from this but to no avail, I got nothing.

"Is that it?"

Hurt flashed over his eyes and his mouth dropped open, like I'd just murdered a puppy.

"What do you mean 'is that it'? I have just told you my biggest secret in the whole wide world and that's how you react? Hurt. I am genuinely hurt."

Even the Great Damon Salvatore couldn't contain himself and he exploded in a fit of laughter. I started laughing at him laughing and we just stood in the kitchen laughing at each other.

I chuckled to myself and shook my head reminiscing at the distant memory. By then, the kettle had boiled and I poured the hot water into both mugs of cocoa powder. I topped one of them with a dash of bourbon and smiled. Satisfied with my work, I took the mugs into the living room and placed the bourbon-spiked drink in front of Damon, who was laid back on the sofa with his legs crossed and his arms sprawled out on the back of it.

"Thank you, my darling."

I sat on my legs next to him and just sat there, watching him intently.

"You're doing it again, Gilbert."

His velvety voice snapped me out of my dream-like trance and I turned away to drink my cocoa. I could see him eyeing me out of the corner of my eye and I quickly turned to see a worried look on his face as he was looking at me, my arms more specifically. Deep scars decorated every inch of skin on my arms up to my elbow. Usually I would hide them or put some makeup on them so they didn't appear so bad but with a lack of essentials, it was a little harder. I was also distracted, Damon had been so good at taking the attention away from my scars lately that I almost forgot about them. I guess I kind of did forget something- just how deep they really were. I put down my mug and tried to manoeuvre myself so they were less visible but Damon grabbed my wrists before I could get away. I gasped in surprise at how hard he was holding on to me.

"Damon, you're hurting me."

He let me go and rubbed his neck anxiously. He spoke quietly- unusually quiet.

"I'm sorry. But surely those cuts must've hurt more than my grasp"

I bowed my head in shame at my sad but all too real response. I whispered so he could barely hear.

"It doesn't hurt when I do it."

He pulled me onto him so I was straddling his waist and he rubbed my back soothingly, letting me drench his shoulder with my tears.

"You don't have to hide them. I don't have any issues with seeing them, I just wish you didn't feel the need to harm yourself in the first place. I can't imagine the things that go through your head when you do it."

I sat back, drying my eyes and looking down at my scarred wrists. Damon held them softly and ran his thumbs over the groves the blades had left.

"If you knew what went through my head during those horrific hours, you'd cry."

A look of horror appeared on his tired face but it was quickly replaced with sympathy.

"I know baby, I know…"

I spent the last 3 hours curled up in his side, never wanting to leave. I whimpered all too often at the thought of everything that had happened over the past two months. Tyler's abuse, the self harm, Damon rescuing me and now the abortion. Whenever I felt myself welling up with tears, Damon would hug me tighter and rock me back and forth gently.

The last time I looked at the clock it read 8:52pm. I figured that I must've fell asleep as it now read 10:12pm. The first thing I noticed was Damon's absence. The fire had burned out too. Something felt off but I couldn't quite place it. He must've been gone for a while as he definitely wouldn't have let the fire die. I grabbed my phone and started flicking through the names to find his. It rung a few times before going through to voice mail.

"Sorry I can't answer right now but leave a message and I'll get back to you soon."

Damon was never one to not answer when I called. In fact, that was the first time I had even heard his voice mail message.

It's fine Elena just calm the fuck down. He's probably just out getting food or something and got caught up in traffic. Even though it's quarter past ten on Christmas Eve and everything is closed. His phones probably died too, he never ignores my calls anyway so there must be a reason why he didn't pick up. Yeah, it's dead, his phones dead. But what if he's dead? What if Tyler has come back and killed him because I didn't listen to him? What if he's coming to get me next? What if he's already here and just waiting for me to find Damon's dead body? What if he heard me talking about wanting his head and that's what he's done to Damon? Oh my god oh my god oh my god. I have to do something. I have to find Damon and make sure he's okay. If he's alive at least.

"911, what's your emergency?"

"Someone's trying to kill me. They've already killed my boyfriend-fiancé sorry- and now he's coming to kill me."

"Ma'am, just take some deep breathes and try to stay calm. Can you tell me your name please?"

"Um, Elena Gilbert."

"Okay Elena are you still with you're fiancé now? What is his name?"

"Damon Salvatore. No, he isn't here but somebody has taken him and killed him."

"Have you seen your husband being taken or killed?"

"No, but he isn't picking up his phone and the fire has burned out which means he's been gone for a while. He has never left me for longer than 5 minutes without telling me why and where he's going."

"Okay ma'am, because you can't provide us with proper evidence of this, there is nothing I can do to help you. For your fiancé to be classed as a missing person he would've had to be missing for at least 24 hours. When is the last time you saw him Ms Gilbert?"

"Um, about two hours ago."

"Okay, unfortunately ma'am, I can't call this in as a missing persons case-"

"What? My fiancé is missing, potentially in danger and you have to help me. His killer is more than likely out to get me and you're doing nothing, nothing at all to protect me."

Just then the front door opened and my heart stopped in my chest. I ran to the kitchen, shut the lights off, grabbed a knife and hid behind the counter. I hadn't hung up to the police yet and she was getting suspicious of the silence.

"Ma'am, are you still with us?"

I whispered as quietly as I could, trying not to give away my position.

"Someone is in my home and I know it isn't my fiancé."

My voice got caught in my throat and I tried to hold my sobs. After hiding for five minutes, the kitchen suddenly erupted in red and blue lights and sirens sounded throughout the house. I heard the sound of someone- a vampire or werewolf- taking off through the kitchen and out the door.

"THIS IS VIRGINIA PD SURRENDER YOURSELF NOW."

I dropped the knife to the floor and raised my hands so they were visible over the counter. An armed police officer shone a bright light in my eyes and I couldn't help the tears from falling over the edge. I was picked up and led over to the kitchen table, my body shook uncontrollably and I was sobbing like a child. Every officer had a go and getting details but I was too shook up to comply with any of them. Question after question was fired at me and I just had one on a loop in my head.

Where the fuck was Damon?

"Ms Gilbert, can you tell me the name of your fiancé."

"Your front door was open and somebody ran out. Did you report a robbery or missing person?"

"Ma'am, I'm going to need details of the intruder."

Every question pushed me further and further to the edge until I just slammed my hands down on the table and shouted.

"Enough!"

I calmly recollected myself and spoke in a nonchalant tone.

"I just need to wait for my fiancé."

I put on my best fake smile and looked at all the officers that surrounded me and the kitchen table.

"Now. Would anyone like a drink?"

I got a lot of confused looks before nearly half a dozen replied yes to my offer.

As I was filling the mugs with the proper requests, a young female officer came up beside me and tried to make light conversation.

"I see that you're distracting yourself by using your hands."

Without breaking contact with the mugs on the counter, I replied with a sentence as familiar to me as the back of my hand.

"What can I say? The more I distract myself from this shit-show, the better."

About half an hour later, I was sat in the living room, patiently waiting for my fiancé to come home and see me surrounded by 9 police officers. Just as I lifted the mug to my lips I heard his voice from outside the open front door.

"Elena! ELENA! Let me past, I fucking live here. LET ME FUCKING SEE HER."

I calmly placed my mug down on the small table that filled the open space in the middle of the living room and walked over to the front door to see him being held back by two policemen. He pushed them off of him and held his arms up with his hands facing upwards. He gave me a questioning look.

"What the fuck is this?"

All I managed to do was shake my head and smirk at him. Turning my back, I announce to the police officers that my fiancé has returned home and I apologise for the wait and for wasting their time. They make sure the officers holding Damon back are the last ones to leave and he rushes up to me. He grasped my face and inspects every inch of my body that he could see. Rage flared up in him and his eyes turned a shade of blue so dark they looked black. I suddenly realised that this was the first time I feared him. He must've seen the petrified look in my face because his eyes softened instantly.

"Elena, what the fuck were you thinking?"

He still had my face cupped in his hands and I reached up to grab them. I squeezed them tightly and cried freely.

"Elena. Elena, darling wake up for me."

I suddenly jolted awake and darted my head around the room, not knowing where I was. A large brown blanket was draped over me and I must've had my head laid on his lap because he was looking at me, a pillow still in his lap. I jumped up and started to shout at him.

"I DON'T KNOW. YOU JUST UP AND LEFT AND I DIDN'T KNOW WHERE. I HAD NO IDEA WHAT TO DO, I CALLED YOUR PHONE BUT YOU DIDN'T ANSWER. YOU COULD'VE BEEN DEAD FOR ALL I KNEW."

He waited for me to calm down and I whispered to him.

"Damon, why did you leave me?"

He stood up and wrapped the blanket around me again, pulling me in for a tight hug and kissing the top of my head before pulling me to his chest.

"I was right there baby. I didn't move at all but I watched what you were having nightmares about."

He sat us back down on the sofa and we cuddled up again.

"You were whimpering, not too badly but it was clear you were having a nightmare. Instead of waking you up, I kind of 'watched' it while you were sleeping. It got worse when you were hiding in the kitchen but then you calmed down a bit after that and I left you to sleep. I detached myself from your thoughts seconds before you woke up because I knew you were going to and here we are now."

I hugged his sides even tighter and closed my eyes.

"So none of that was real? You didn't toy with any of it?"

I felt his hand move up to my hair and stroke me before kissing my head softly.

"Of course not but I needed to see what it was about this time. Uh, there is actually something I should tell you about-"

Without even batting an eye I finished his sentence.

"Tyler. He got out of the safe and he's back out to get us both, hellbent on killing us."

I felt his chest contract and he blew out a heavy breath.

"How did you know."

"When I was in the kitchen, I could just feel a cold dead presence hovering over me. I knew it was him from the moment he came through the door. It's like he was somehow controlling my dreams.

I couldn't even think clearly anymore. All I knew was that Damon was safe, he was back- and so was Tyler.