Chapter Six
"Now Ace, I want to be certain that you're completely, one hundred percent sure about this," Kochanski said as the pair of them walked down the corridor toward the docking bay. Kryten and the Cat followed a few steps behind, Kryten loaded down with bags and parcels and the Cat daintily carrying a red silk scarf. "I wouldn't want to put you out of your way..."
"As I told you last night," Ace said, taking her hand and giving it a reassuring pat. "It's no imposition at all. A hop here, a skip there, and I'll DJ you safe and snug to your home dimension before your dear ol' Dave has a chance to burn the breakfast crumpets."
"Oh, thank you," Kochanski said. "It's just...Lister, you know? He makes me so furious. I mean, here he has me actually feeling guilty about leaving this testosterone swamp, when all I want in this life is to hold my own sweet Dave again. Do you understand, Ace?"
"I've seen you with your Dave," Ace said. "I do understand how miserable you've been here. I'm sure ol' Skipper will understand too, given time. How's the Wildfire, Kryters old top?" the hero called over his shoulder. "Up to specs?"
Kryten leaned his head from side to side, trying to see around the bags.
"Last systems check showed her to be in tip-top shape, Mr. Ace, sir," the mechanoid said helpfully.
"Knew I could count on you, old man," Ace said proudly.
Kryten simpered happily.
The foursome turned a corner and strode into the cavernous docking bay. Kryten scampered around the gleaming Wildfire to stow Kochanski's bags in the hold while Ace climbed into the cockpit.
"Cat," Kochanski said. "My scarf, if you please?"
Cat clutched the red silk protectively.
"What scarf? This scarf?" He draped it around his neck. "Sorry, Officer BB. It's finders keepers, and I found it."
"Yes, in my closet," Kochanski snapped.
"I can't help where I found it," Cat retorted. "Point is, I found it, and that makes it mine. Just like these boots are mine. In fact all this," he gestured to his glitter-sprayed ensemble, "is mine!"
Kochanski rolled her eyes.
"Fine, keep it. What do I care? It's more than worth a lousy scarf to get out of this rusted-out frat house and back to my own ship and my own friends, where I belong."
"So, that's it then," Lister's voice sounded from the doorway. "You're really leavin' us."
Kochanski's expression tightened.
"Lister..."
"Nah, no need to explain," he said. "You saw a chance to get back to your perfect Dave, an' you took it. I can't blame you for that."
"Well," Kochanski said. "I'm pleased to find you so understanding."
"You're surprised's more like it," Lister said, and smiled a very small smile. Kochanski wasn't quite sure what that smile meant, but she returned it as best she could.
"No hard feelings, then?"
"I wouldn't go that far," Lister quipped, and Kochanski turned away in disgust.
"Why do I even try," she said, and called up to the cockpit. "Everything all right, Ace?"
"Ship-shape and Bristol fashion," Ace called back. "Not a trace left of that killer virus. Nice work, Kryters!"
Kryten shuffled out from under the hold.
"I'm afraid I can't take all the credit, Sir," he said. "The Wildfire computer is quite a determined AI."
"She is indeed," Ace said fondly, running his fingers over the controls. "Still, time's a tickin'. It's been a blast, fellas, but Kris and I should be getting on our way."
Kochanski glanced at Lister, who gave her an encouraging nod.
"Go on," he said, and winked.
"Right," she said, and climbed up into the narrow cockpit. Ace scooted over to make room for her, but it was still a cramped fit. Kochanski wrapped an arm around his shoulders and draped her legs across his lap, and that made it a little more comfortable.
"Take good care of her, you hear?" Lister called out.
"As if she were my own dear sister," Ace assured him. "Skipper, I—"
"Look," Lister said. "If it helps any, I'm sorry for what I said last night. I was angry an'...an' there was no call for it. 'S far as I'm concerned, you're the real Ace Rimmer."
Ace blinked rapidly.
"Now, get outta here," Lister said. "There's a multiverse out there that needs savin'."
"Good-bye, Dave," Ace said, and lowered the cockpit roof. "Smoke me a kipper, lads! I'll be back for breakfast!"
"Bye, Ace/Bye, Bud/Good-bye, Mr. Ace, sir!" the Dwarfers chorused, and dashed behind the safety field as the room depressurized and the docking bay doors slid open.
The Wildfire rose, turned, and shot out into the blackness of space, a streak of red lightening against the distant stars.
"Right," Lister said, slapping his hands together. "Race you to the cockpit!"
"Mr. Lister?" Kryten queried.
"Hurry up, Kryten," Lister shouted, already jogging up the corridor. "We've got to get in position before Ace activates the Dimension Jump!"
"What are you up to, bud?" Cat said, keeping an easy pace beside the gasping Lister. "You seemed awfully cool about Officer Bud Babe flyin' off with Ace. If you're plannin' to blow them up—"
"No, no, it's nothin' like that," Lister rasped, pressing a hand to his chest as he clambered through the cluttered cockpit and collapsed into the pilot seat. "Smeg! Either Starbug's gettin' longer or me legs are gettin' shorter."
"More like your gut's gettin' wider, bud," Cat sneered, slipping gracefully behind the navigation console. "All that beer, cigarettes, an' curry are catchin' up with you."
"Nah, it's definitely Starbug, man," Lister said, clearing his lungs with a few chesty hacks. "She hasn't been right since Rimmer blew up our future selves. Remember that? It was jus' before we went back in time an' talked Kennedy into shootin' himself."
"Not really," Cat said. "What did you drag us all up here for, anyway?"
Lister talked while he worked, bringing the Wildfire up on the ship's main viewer and synching up their course and speed.
"It's the Wildfire, man," he said. "She's got this mad plan to help Rimmer."
"Help Rimmer?" Cat wrinkled his nose. "What for? He looked fine to me."
"Yeah, on the outside," Lister said. "On the inside he's still the same cringin', craven loser he always was. The Wildfire says it's up to us to help him, before Rimmer's twisted-up rubber band of a brain snaps completely."
Kryten wrung his plastic fingers.
"Sir, would this plan entail linking Starbug's main computer to the Wildfire's AI unit, then following Ace and Miss Kochanski through the multi-dimensional vortex – not to Miss Kochanski's home dimension, but rather to Mr. Ace's own past, with the intention of forcing Mr. Ace to confront his abusive family and, thereby, recognize and defeat the psychological demons that have been stalking him his entire adult life?"
"How did you know?" Lister asked accusingly.
"Call it a random guess, sir."
"Wait," Cat said. "Are you tellin' me we've got to follow Ace through that giant swirly thing?"
The Dwarfers looked ahead just in time to see the Wildfire disappear into a wavering, inter-dimensional rip. Half a second later, Starbug too was caught in the anomaly's blinding orange light. The small, green transport ship rocked and shuddered, rattling the terrified Dwarfers around like gems in a rock-polisher.
"Too late to turn back now," Lister juddered, his brains feeling like they were being pureed against his skull. "Hold on to your hats, everyone. We're goin' in!"
To Be Continued...
Sorry for the long wait, everyone. More will be coming soon! :)