Chapter Twenty-Four: Part III
Fallen camera droids still littered the lawn outside the Rimmer mansion. Reporters milled around them in anxious huddles while the Rimmers' guests continued to chat, gossip and pick over the buffet.
"You know, I've heard these Outer Rim Gennies can be reserved, but the apathy I'm seeing here is straight-up next-level!" Alynna Corbin of Channel 27's EarthNEWS complained to her producer, Keith. "The anniversary cake exploded, for smeg's sake. A man in a crappy gorilla suit threatened to kill us. The whole dome lost power for a while there, and what do these people do? They shrug it off, claim it's all fake or staged and carry on with the party like there's nothing happening, nothing boiling up beneath this Stepford-esque façade of schmoozing and snacks…!"
Alynna bared her teeth and kicked at the perfectly manicured grass.
"I know I'm outing myself as a total Earther here, but do you know what it's like?" she said. "It's like watching cows during a meteor shower. You ever watch cows during a meteor shower, Keith? Space rocks can be burning in the sky, falling in the fields around them, and they'll stand there, still as bricks, chewing their cud."
"Hm? Yeah, cud, right," Keith mumbled, his attention focused on their camera droid.
"Something's going on here," Alynna insisted. "Something deep. And I'm going to find out what it is."
"Not without Twiki, you're not," Keith said, closing their droid's primary access panels, then standing up to face her. "Whatever static charge knocked out the power did something to his battery pack. I can't get him to online, and without Twiki, we have no link back to Earth. How d'you plan to investigate without a live-feed, eh? How'll you record your interviews for later transmission? This is a private residence, remember. You can't ask questions the Admiral hasn't approved."
"That's a courtesy, not a law," Alynna huffed.
"Do you want your gala press-pass revoked?" Keith countered. "Because that's where you're heading with that snoopy attitude."
Alynna tousled her gold-and-pink striped hair and shot her producer a scathing glare.
"God, I hate covering these fluff pieces," she groaned. "Some toffee-nosed Outer Rim Gennie snob throws a party and what – all Earth's supposed to jump for joy? Smeggin' Gennies hate all us 'microbe-laden' Earth Nehbs anyway, so why the hell should we cheer for them?"
"Sheesh, Alynna, why don't you tell the viewers how you really feel," Keith snorted.
"Cool down, Keith, it's not like anyone's listening," the reporter said dismissively, her translucent silver pants suit shimmering orangey red in Jupiter's reflected light. "Even if they were, you know I've never exactly been shy about voicing my views on genetic 'enhancement.' I mean, look around. These people have literally sealed themselves up in private plastic bubbles. Nothing gets in or out unless they give the say so – not even ideas."
"Alynna…" Keith warned again. "You've been told before – we do a news show. Strictly entertainment only. If you want to talk issues and politics, get into comedy."
"I know, I know, but seriously, Keith," she said, pacing around her producer and droid as her eyes roved over the rows of guest tables and up toward the dais. "Looking out at this mob of self-congratulatory, cosmetically engineered, elitist bigots I could just— Hey! A group of soldier-guards is heading toward the admiral, and they don't seem happy. Looks like something might finally be happening."
"Fine, you go," Keith said. "See what you can learn. But, play it strictly softball with these people, got it? Don't ask uncomfortable questions. Remember, the network will not welcome another lawsuit!"
"Yeah, and smeg you too, Keith," Alynna muttered, firing off a quick two-fingered hand gesture as she strode past busy guest tables on her way to the dais. "Maybe I should switch to late-night. Comedy hosts get more respect, anyway, and the latest tech…"
"What do you mean, they're gone?" she heard the admiral shout as she approached. Several soldiers cringed and winced, more likely from a headache than from fear. The whole group of them looked disgruntled, grass-stained, and dirty, as if they'd been lying on the ground, including the admiral's two sons, John and Howard. "Are you telling me that bonehead bested the lot of you?"
"He's different, Mother," the younger one, Howard, protested. "He's not at all like he used to be. And that...that furry thing with him... Mother, he says he's Frank! But, that can't be true, can it? Tell me he's lying, Mother."
The admiral grit her teeth.
"I swear, you boys will be the death of me," she snarled. "All my life, I've slaved and sacrificed to hoist this family to the top rung, to drag you up the ziggurat after me. And now, on this of all days, you idiots threaten to push us all off the edge! Well, I won't have it, do you hear me? I will not see this family destroyed by that - that hologram and its rag-tag group of filthy Nehbs! Where is your father? I—"
Alynna blinked, then blinked again. She shook her head, cleared her ears, and stared.
The admiral and her sons were gone. Vanished, in golden streaks and flashes of light.
The reporter jumped up onto the dias, advancing toward the remaining bewildered soldiers with a mouth full of questions—
Only to feel them fade, unspoken, as the dome's curved wall again came to flickering life, this time projecting the image of a man with short curly hair and a very straight posture. He wasn't what Alynna would call conventionally handsome, but there was something about him that caught her eye and made it terribly difficult to look away.
"Commander Ace Rimmer here," the man said, and Alynna felt an odd little flutter in her chest. "Interdimensional peace officer. Apologies for interrupting the party, folks, but this is an important announcement. Your host, Admiral Rimmer, and General Metzeler both stand accused of grave crimes against humanity and have been taken into custody to face their accusers. Their hearing is to commence immediately aboard the neutral vessel, Starbug and will be broadcast to you live. If necessary, recordings of said proceedings will be transmitted to Mars and Earth on a taped delay. If any of you have connections to or knowledge of the GESS Project, be aware, you may be called upon to serve as witnesses."
The image widened to reveal Ace flanked on both sides by very angry-looking GELFs.
"This hearing will now come to order," he said. "The accuser, Captain Larkin, will speak first."
A trembling, terrible mumble rose up from the gathered crowd. For the first time, Alynna saw the practiced apathy fade, melting and morphing into anger and fear.
Alynna smiled.
"Brilliant," she said and raced back to her producer. "Hey, Keith! Find Twiki a new battery pack. We've caught ourselves some real news at last! And his name is Ace Rimmer!"